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WARNINGS

6 11 2010


Makati Gas Leak
Independent experts from UP discovered that the petroleum pipeline operated by the Lopez-owned First Philippine Industrial Corp. (FPIC) was the REAL source of the gas leak at the West Tower Condominium in Brgy. Bangkal, Makati City. When the leak was first discovered, Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay was quick to absolve FPIC of any wrongdoing. The reports didn’t say though if FPIC officials were Binay’s fraternity brothers.

Briefly Noted
Three months ago, this was the headline:

To Energy Secretary Jose Rene Almendras:
“Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.”

Hostage Incident
A hostage incident took place in Brgy. Bangkal, Makati City Thursday afternoon. The crisis was swiftly resolved mainly because the police were able to control the media.


Travel Warnings & Security
Six countries have advised their nationals against traveling to the Philippines… specifically to Brgy. Bangkal, Makati City.

First the United States. Then, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and Great Britain. And now, France. What have we done to you? Did we say that your wine sucked? Did we say that men in your country didn’t look good? Did we say that crossing your streets was the easiest way to die? How dare you!? How could you treat us like this when you’re not even Vietnam?!?

On Thursday, an irked President Aquino said reports of imminent terror threats in the Philippines have “no adequate basis” and “were blown out of proportion.” A day later, he confirmed “the assassination plots on several of our security officials and two ambassadors.” Ano ba talaga?

Amid reports of terror threats in Metro Manila, the Light Rail Transit is now on Alert Level 3. Meanwhile, President Aquino is on Red Alert Level 10.

Due to stricter baggage inspection, there have been long queues at LRT and MRT stations. But queues outside lotto outlets are still longer.

Mall owners are reportedly concerned over reports of imminent terror threats in the metro. To give you an idea of how concerned they have been, this morning, the Gokongweis evacuated the “snake” out of Robinsons Galleria.

Following reports of terror threats, security has been beefed up around the metro. And people from all walks of life are taking it seriously. For instance, in Makati Avenue, prostitutes are now asking for at least two IDs from customers.

Intelligence reports say Islamic terrorists are targeting San Juan City. According to San Juan Rep. JV Ejercito “extra-precautions are now being implemented” in the area. The police have been supplied high-powered rifles, the residents have been told to be vigilant, and his mom, former actress Guia Gomez, now city mayor has been advised to act like one.

This just in: Malacanang has issued a travel advisory ahead of next week’s APEC Summit in Japan. The advisory bars Asst. Sec. Mai Mislang from taking the trip with the President.

Robredo Out Soon?
Earlier reports say President Aquino is removing Secretary Jesse Robredo from the Department of Interior and Local Government and appointing him as head of an agency tasked to oversee informal settlers – something that was so appropriate since Robredo has always been treated by the president as an informal settler at the DILG.

Less than 24 hours after being quoted as such, President Aquino denied that Secretary Robredo was on the way out… apparently because his “relocation site” has yet to be established.

Lozada Out of Nuns’ Care
NBN-ZTE deal whistleblower Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada Jr. is reportedly leaving the care of a group of nuns. Soon, Lozada will no longer be an informal settler.


Pacquiao’s Endorsement
US Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid whom Manny Pacquiao endorsed emerged victorious in the recently concluded US midterm elections. Observers say Pacquiao’s endorsement was a huge factor in Reid’s win although it also helped that the senator didn’t attempt to discredit his opponent by releasing manufactured psychiatric reports.

La Greta’s Undies
Interviewed on ANC, actress Gretchen Barretto explained that she would never ever wear cheap panties because she was “always ready.” She didn’t say though if she’s ready to explain why her lips are the only part of her face that move.
———————————————-
“I went to the airport to check in and they asked what I did because I looked like a terrorist. I said I was a comedian. They said, “Say something funny then.” I told them I had just graduated from flying school.”
~Ahmed Ahmed

Barranda Out, Fullido In
From a very reliable source: Model Phoemela Barranda who hosts the showbiz segment ‘Star Patrol’ on TV Patrol will be replaced by Gretchen Fullido starting Monday, November 8. Ouch!

Survey Says
Alin ang mas patok para sa ‘yo:
– Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho 50.61%
– Rated K 12.7%
– Wala sa dalawa! 36.68%

Personal
Kobe, Coach Phil, and the Los Angeles Lakers are on a 5-game winning streak. Is it June 2011 yet?

Naki-“paki” ang isang kaibigan mula sa UP. Dapat daw araw-araw, Araw ng mga Ina.

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43 responses

6 11 2010
Danique Dansk

Interviewed on ANC, actress Gretchen Barretto explained that she would never ever wear cheap panties because she was “always ready.” –Yeah, PH. We’ll never know when we come face to face with Destiny. So let us wear sexy underwear at all times.

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6 11 2010
jaypee

:-bd

🙂

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6 11 2010
@flo

news with sense …no.1 ka talaga PH….

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6 11 2010
kalokah

mr. ph is also insomiac.
la greta is still hot on her interview.

sad there’s no panty (or lack there of) shown.
ST (super tampo) tuloy ako.

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6 11 2010
professionalheckler

nagkataon lang na may tinapos akong script until 3:30am kaya naisingit ko ang blog. 🙂

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6 11 2010
senior60

nakisawsaw kasi tayo sa terror threats sa ibang bansa, nagpaka OA

sa preparedness daw, kaya ayun, na advisory tuloy….

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9 11 2010
phreddox

we are not exempt from terror po. baka nakalimutan nyo na yung lrt bombing.

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6 11 2010
senior60

queues at lotto outlets are becoming longer,

maybe, 305million is now at stake, sayang,

wala akong chance manalo dahil hindi ako

tumataya….

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6 11 2010
etchosera

Pwede po ba akong tumawa?

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7 11 2010
Lola Nila

HINDI!

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6 11 2010
waranabatokwa

i’m just curious.. pano ba nagsimula ung urban legend about robinson’s? bata pa ako, usap-usapan na yan eh.. haha..

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6 11 2010
thepiaya

good morning! jessica’s show is more informative and not ‘pilit’. her spiels are delivered naturally.

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7 11 2010
Lola Nila

maganda kc kay Jessica, khit queen’s english, street language, or gay lingo…kayang kaya!!!

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6 11 2010
Paul

Now its Almendras who was recruited because he was PNoy’s classmate. The list of incompetents just get longer everyday. PNoy, Puno, Lacierda, Carangdang, Coloma, Mislang, Lim, Deles………..NIlo turned out to be lucky to be out of this company

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6 11 2010
timpaul

Walang spin on the leak of a famous congresswoman?

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6 11 2010
watdapak

na miss ko to!! i ♥ P.H.!!!

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6 11 2010
ranjit

Magulo talga kausap si PNOY! Magulo ang mga advisers nya! haaayyy!!! ano pa ba aasahan natin?! wala syang balls!

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6 11 2010
zaki

great way to start my day! first time to post din.

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6 11 2010
anon

lets see what insults the communications group can come up with for japan. if they are not too busy at the geisha houses or drunk on saki.

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6 11 2010
brunix

first here! 😀

eto ang panalo:

Amid reports of terror threats in Metro Manila, the Light Rail Transit is now on Alert Level 3. Meanwhile, President Aquino is on Red Alert Level 10.

hahahaha!! 😀

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6 11 2010
brunix

Ang pagkatalo ba ni Koring sa survey ni PH ay isa na bang sign na di mapapataob nila Kabayad at Koring sina Tita Mel at Mang Mike? 😀

Naku, lalong lalaki ang butas ng ozone layer right above the ABS-CBN studios dahil araw-araw nang papasok si Koring 😀

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6 11 2010
sows

Base! panalo ito! ph, pansin ko hnd ka masyadong galet sa nguso ni greta! 😛

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6 11 2010
hikatalomato

saan bang butas lumabas itong si penoy at hindi makapagdesisyon ng tama?

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7 11 2010
Lola Nila

hirap nga si PNoy mag-decide. Si Shalani ba, si Liz Uy ba, or Mar Roxas….

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8 11 2010
eddibumangon

Liz Uy is the stylist and image consultant of Pnoy. If they needed a GF to cover up something, she’s the perfect choice. For all we know, it might be her very own idea as a consultant.

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6 11 2010
doncamote

natatawa talaga ako pag pinag-iinitan mo pagmumukha nina loi, gretchen at dra. vicki belo. 😀

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6 11 2010
iroppoi

on greta:ikaw na ang maging PAMBANSANG MISTRESS!!!

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6 11 2010
promdi

On Thursday, an irked President Aquino said reports of imminent terror threats in the Philippines have “no adequate basis” and “were blown out of proportion.” A day later, he confirmed “the assassination plots on several of our security officials and two ambassadors.” Ano ba talaga?

Earlier reports say President Aquino is removing Secretary Jesse Robredo from the Department of Interior and Local Government and appointing him as head of an agency tasked to oversee informal settlers – Less than 24 hours after being quoted as such, President Aquino denied that Secretary Robredo was on the way out…

See? a little past the 100-day mark that he’s up there as RP’s top man, huh? yung mga flops na nasa loob ng 100-day bracket, di pa kasama! at the rate he’s going… brace up for a hundred and one more in the coming 2000 days!

let’s pray for him… or for RP…?

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9 11 2010
move0ut

it’s PH or PHL, not RP.

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6 11 2010
Ironhide g1

[…] WARNINGS « The Professional Heckler […]

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6 11 2010
derdo

Bakit ang galing galing mo, PH? What did your mom feed you?

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7 11 2010
Centrino

Promil.

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7 11 2010
noy

you don’t want to know!

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6 11 2010
hkntl

medyo not the usual prof heckler and post na to. baka mesakit pa.
d kaya gawa ng proxy writer to?
looking forward for the next post 🙂

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6 11 2010
Pongster

Independent experts from UP discovered that the petroleum pipeline operated by the Lopez-owned First Philippine Industrial Corp. (FPIC) was the REAL source of the gas leak at the West Tower Condominium in Brgy. Bangkal, Makati City.

Meanwhile, (in)dependent experts have yet to discover the REAL source of the “leak” to the Lopez-owned Alto Broadcasting System Chronicle Broadcasting Corporation (ABS-CBN) concering the 2010 PNoy SONA.

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7 11 2010
marichu

the president ought not to let robredo go, he’s an asset.

pacquaio has no right to endorse anyone here ‘cuz he’s not a US citizen.

hoorah UP law ! (I graduated from UP diliman)

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7 11 2010
senior60

@ etchosera

by all means of communication, why not…

pero bakit, hindi ka naniniwala?

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8 11 2010
akosistella

PH dapat me special warning ka din about Wowowillie at ang kanyang bagong co-host na konsehala. ohmygas pulgas! ;p

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8 11 2010
reviewer22

Barranda Out, Fullido In
From a very reliable source: Model Phoemela Barranda who hosts the showbiz segment ‘Star Patrol’ on TV Patrol will be replaced by Gretchen Fullido starting Monday, November 8. Ouch!

Signs of “bigger” things to come? :))

Like

8 11 2010
iroppoi

Pnoy:”no serious terror threat” just an “assasination plot to 2 ambassadors”

hello!!! hindi ba serious yun?! kaya pala ung hostage-taking last aug.23
was taken seriously by this administration!!!

hindi ba talaga nag-iisip si pnoy bago sya mag bitiw ng statement?!
dapatlpaglabas nya ng palasyo,check nya kung dala nya ung IQ nya!!
he should avoid ambush interview,kc hindi nakakatulong sa bansa!!!

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8 11 2010
Jaja

FYI walang Level 10 ang Red Alert. Pero kung sampung milyong beses nang nilalaro ni Noynoy yan baka mag-iba isip ko.

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8 11 2010
professionalheckler

apparently, wala akong alam jan. noon pa ko pumapalya sa mga items on games. haha anyway, you know what the punchline meant naman.

Like

27 07 2011
Karyn Pickings

Captivating blog post you have here. I hadn’t studied this.

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