An apparently irked President Aquino admitted that he was dissatisfied with the performance of the Commission on Elections after the reported delay of the barangay and Sangguniang Kabataan elections in some parts of the country. To explain the delay, and learning about the President’s dissatisfaction, Comelec officials immediately held a press briefing. The first question fired at Chairman Jose Melo was, “Are you aware of what happened to Dr. Prisco Nilo?”

Blame Game
DepEd officials are blaming the Comelec for the delay in the barangay and SK polls. The Comelec is blaming the National Printing Office for the delay of delivery of election paraphernalia. At press time, the President has yet decide whether he’ll take the cudgels for them or not.

In some areas affected by delays, voting was extended for another hour or two. In Lubao, rumors have it that former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo wanted to extend it for… another term.

President Aquino cast his vote at precinct 0175A-Alto at the Central Azucarera Elementary School in Tarlac City at around 10am Monday. The frontrunner in the race for barangay captain in the village was a bachelor who failed to pass a single ordinance during his three consecutive terms as kagawad.

Unconfirmed reports say former president Joseph Estrada also cast his vote for the barangay elections in San Juan. This time though, he admitted that he didn’t vote for Jejomar Binay.

According to the Philippine National Police, the nationwide barangay and SK elections were generally peaceful and orderly – with very minor problems. For instance, in Quezon City, former congresswoman Annie Susano resurfaced and claimed that she has obtained two flash cards.

The Comelec says the voter turnout in today’s barangay and SK elections was much lower than the turnout of voters in the May 10 polls. Because of the low turnout, counting of votes finished earlier than expected. In fact, a majority of defeated candidates have already conceded… with the exception of Jamby Madrigal, JC De Los Reyes, and Nicanor Perlas.

This just in: Three candidates for barangay captain in Makati City refused to accept the results of the barangay elections. This, after the final tally showed they were defeated by Vetellano Acosta.

No Alcohol!
From October 24 to 26, the Commission on Elections is implementing a “liquor ban” – or as Executive Secretary Jojo Ochoa would call it, the saddest day of his life.

Off to Vietnam
President Aquino is leaving for Vietnam Tuesday. The Philippine delegation has been limited to only 52 members… mainly because the budget for hotdogs is good for 52 persons only.

No to Smoking!
The Department of Health has launched “Say NOSI” or the “No to Sigarilyo, No to Second-Hand Smoke” campaign. In print ads that came out Monday, the DOH said, “Ireport agad ang pasaway” – marking the first time in the last 107 days that a government agency courageously attacked the president.

Miriam Falls
In her Twitter account Sunday, Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago reported that she fell off the stage as she was about to deliver a speech at a forum in Istanbul, Turkey. But the senator immediately picked herself up, received a standing ovation… and eventually won first runner-up in the extemporaneous speech category.

Actors, Junk Food, & Cabs!
After proposing to limit the weight of bags being carried by school children, Sen. Lito Lapid has filed a bill that seeks to ban junk food in schools. In his proposed measure, Lapid said, “It’s high time for the government to undertake the much needed radical reform to advance this unfortunate situation by way of ascertaining that food supplied in school meals would be strictly limited to those fortified with the necessary vitamins and proteins for all school children while banning those that may be hazardous to health.” We admire the good senator’s intention but… ‘di nga?!? Nagamit niya ang “radical reform,” “ascertaining,” “fortified,” at “hazardous to health” in one sentence?!?

Meanwhile, Senator Bong Revilla has re-filed his three-year-old bill that seeks to penalize taxi drivers who refuse to give exact change to their passengers. When Senator Lapid was asked to comment on Revilla’s bill, he said, “That’s a radical reform indeed although ascertaining whether the driver is fortified with shame or not can be hazardous to the passenger’s health.”

In Entertainment
President Aquino’s youngest sister, Kris declared on national TV that she’s “ready to fall in love again” with a man her age. Ang tanong: is there someone out there who’s willing to take the risk?

Heckling a Headline
From the Philippine Star:

Ayun! Maraming ‘di bumoto dahil wala daw silang payong!
“The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning.”
~Adlai Stevenson

Survey Says
May pakialam ba ang publiko sa lovelife ni President Aquino?
– OO! Public figure siya! 23.08%
– WALA. Huwag nating pakialaman ang private life niya. 52.31%
– Lovelife ni Kris na lang! 24.62%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

52 thoughts on “DELAYED”

  1. Miriam does another miriam… tingnan mo nga naman oh… it takes another miriam to do another miriam to receive another standing ovation… magkaano-ano kaya sila? si miriam q sa missU nadapa, agad bumangon, pinalakpakan, nanalo tuloy ng major, major prize, di ba? ngayon si miriam s sa turkey, nadapa, este nahulog (basta parehong fall sa ingles, noh!), bumangon, tumayo, pinalakpakan… nabigyan tuloy ng standing ovation. o di ba win?! bravooo! miriam, anyone?!


  2. Re: Sen. Lito: don’t you forget his latest na imamandato raw ang mga anakis na sustentuhan ang mga parientes na alredy seniores de amores. I don’t think we have to spend any more paper bills to document what’s already going on. nasa kultura na natin yan di ba? tayong mga anak nang isilang sa mundong ito, nakaautomatic na may-i-give sa nanay at tatay. dikta kunsyensiya ba. no need to send the bills! bayad na noon pa! ibang bills na lang uli! abangaan!


  3. “We admire the good senator’s intention but… ‘di nga?!? Nagamit niya ang “radical reform,” “ascertaining,” “fortified,” at “hazardous to health” in one sentence?!?”

    — this is so funny. Your adding Vic Sotto’s “‘di nga?!?” made it even more amusing. Thanks, PH.


  4. The first question fired at Chairman Jose Melo was, “Are you aware of what happened to Dr. Prisco Nilo?”….
    To which, Chairman Melo replied, “Yes, and I also know what did not happen to Usec. Puno….And besides, fixed-termer ako noh? Excuse me!”

    Heckling aside, I won’t put so much blame on the Comelec this time. With the move to have the barangay and SK elections postponed, the Comelec couldn’t proceed much earlier spending precious government funds preparing for the elections with the possibility of the elections going kaput this year.


  5. The Say NOSI! campaign of the DOH is okay, laudable. But it will go down the drain because the president is a known high profile smoker. Sa bawat marereport na pasaway other than our president, what does the DOH intend to do with them pasaways? Taasan na lang ng kilay ang mangyayari…smirk, smirk…tsk-tsk-tsk!


  6. @alquanna

    kakambyo ako pag ma solusyunan mo ang problemang ito…

    pagdating sa korte, papaano mapatunayan ni pasahero na hindi sya

    binigyan ng tamang sukli, even granting na hindi sya nag-iisa,

    siempre sasabihin ni driver na pinagkaka-isahan sya…

    pero bago muna dumating sa korte, ako ba na isang pasahero ay

    dudulog pa doon? what is the involved amount of change ba….

    kaya kung ayaw natin ma keep the change, dala tayo ng all kinds

    of denominations….


  7. The first question fired at Chairman Jose Melo was, “Are you aware of what happened to Dr. Prisco Nilo?”

    To which Comelec Chairman Melo curtly replied, “Off course, I am! Pero sorry ka na lang, Presidente. Miyembro kaya ako ng isang constitutional body! Now, are you aware of that?”


    1. koreek! as in tumpak ka irropoi, in the late 70’s and 80’s (kailan ba pinanganak si P-noy?, nagkalat ang mga Vietnamese dito sa atin, particularly sa UPLB sa Los Banos upang magpakadalubhasa sa agriculture! that was, despite the war raging then in their own country. yung mga takas, andito as in here in our motherland, learning the ropes of farming and how to grow food; repeat, how to grow food. at presto, natuto sila! at ngayon pwede nila tayong pulutin sa kangkungan! tapos ngayon yun ang statement ni NoyP. embarrassed naman me for him for that statement. Kaya nga may I ask kung kelan siya pinanganak. Dapat alam nya na dito nag-aral at nagpaka-skilled ang mga magsasaka ngayon ng Vietnam. Otherwise, he shouldn’t have issued such statement at all! Buti di sya sinagot nung kausap niya na: “Ehem, Mr. President of the Philippine Islands, we learned all these how-to’s from your experts at UPLB, he he.”
      Haay naku, di ba nagreresearch o nag-eedit kaya ang mga teleprompters, este mga writers nya ng kanyang sasabihin for every occasion? Para alam kung magiging redundant o superfluous kaya, o kaya’y better left unsaid na lang to avoid embarrassment?


    2. meron din namang kontribusyon ang mga vietnamese sa kultura natin.

      tika meron nga ba?

      meron nga pala.

      for example, chowlong. ang paboritong pampahimasmas noodles ng mga lasenggo sa puerto. palagay ko, dito kinuha ng chowking ang concept ng kanilang pangalan.

      at eto pa.

      bago pa nagkaroon ng farmville sa facebook, meron nang vietville sa puerto princesa noon. refugee camp ng mga gooks na lumayas sa vietnam dahil nagsawa na sa kakakain ng mars chocolate galing sa mga american servicemen.

      at ang pinaka da best sa lahat.

      ang mga good moaners na mga vietnamese yumyum.



  8. iba na talaga ang panahon ngayon…. kung dati halos matunaw ka sa hiya pag may ginawa kang kapalpakan (maski not entirely your fault)… ngayon nagsasawalang kibo na lang….. as if nothing happened…. no apologies…no accountability….
    whatever happened to serving the “bosses”?


  9. @etchosera

    teka lang muna ha, bakit ka ba naglololo sa akin, apo ba kita? hahaha

    at bakit para bang na shockshock ka pagkakita sa akin, nandito naman
    ako palagi, walang absent, ikaw itong lulubog lilitaw, parang bang frog..

    at gusto mo pang sumabay sa akin pag-uwi ha, gusto mo makalibre,
    ayaw ko nga, kasya lang para sa akin allowance bigay ng anak ko hahaha


    1. di nyo nga po ako apo….. gumagalang lang po ako sa mga nakatatanda.

      By the way, I’m 59 years old. Ahah ahah ahah!

      Ire-remind lang po kita, tulad ng iba pang nagremind na rin sayo: Pag sasagot ka po sa isang particular na comment, dun ka po sa thread na yun sumagot, wag yung basta ka na lang nasulpot kung saan mo gusto.



  10. @etchosera

    may iba ng nagremind sa akin? hindi nga, pinpoint one at parang

    type kung magbigay ng premyo, name your price hahaha

    talagang gusto mong ipicture na ulyanin na ako ha, kung etchos

    ang 59 mo, ang 66 ko hindi kaya hindi ko pa kailangan ang alalay

    tuwing akoy rarampa hahaha ulit kasi parang gusto mong palagi

    akong aakayin papauwi, i can still manage, sa english pa, wala ng



Say something...

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s