AT A TOWN HALL EVENT held Thursday at La Consolacion College in Manila, President Aquino gave his report on his first 100 days in office. Just like what he did in his first SONA, the President began with the basics or ABCs – Arroyo Bashing Comments.
Monkeys
President Aquino compared the previous administration to the pictorial maxim of the three wise monkeys who “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.” Insulted allies of former President Arroyo vow to retaliate as soon as they get out of their cage.
The President lamented, “Malalim at malawak po ang mga problemang minana natin.” Someone in the audience was heard asking, “Ilang ektarya ba ang Hacienda Luisita?”
President Aquino also reported, “Naisaayos natin sa loob lamang ng isandaang araw ang hindi nagawa ng dating administrasyon sa loob ng tatlong libo, apat na raan, apatnapu’t walong (3,448) araw.” And former President Arroyo was like, “Oh yeah, you had eight Hong Kong nationals killed.”
Developments
The President also said, “Paulit-ulit po nating ididiin: trabaho ang pangunahing agenda ng ating administrasyon.” Now we know why Enrico Puno still has a job.
The Chief Executive also boasted, “Nagkakaisa nang muli ang ating lipunan.” Then everyone at the venue felt awkward when he added, “’Yan din dasal ko para sa aking gabinete.”
Citing recent progress in the weather bureau, President Aquino said, “Maling sistema at maling palakad ang nanligaw sa pagtataya ng panahon.” – to which Dr. Prisco Nilo said, “Can we just move on?”
In his report to the nation, President Aquino did not mention anything about jueteng, his controversial shooting buddy Enrico Puno, and the reported factions in the Cabinet. Hear no evil. See no evil. Speak no evil.
President Aquino likewise slammed people whom he described as, “mga kapit-tuko sa puwesto.” At home, monitoring the speech on TV, napalunok na lang ang pamilya Binay.
The Cabinet
When President Aquino delivered his report to the nation on his first 100 days, members of his official cabinet came in full force – amid the reported conflict between the Balay Group and the Samar Group. Other attendees said there was no tension whatsoever between the two factions. It was like AKRho and Tau Gamma in a truce.
The Q&A Portion
After his speech, the President held a town hall meeting with sectoral representatives. The Q&A portion went smoothly as planned. Practice makes perfect!
Some people said President Aquino’s town hall meeting on Thursday appeared to be scripted. In fact, did you hear about the “student-hecklers” from UP Manila? They read their protest slogans from the teleprompter.
Student leaders from UP Manila “interrupted’ President Aquino’s town hall meeting at La Consolacion College Thursday. The President managed to keep his cool though. But a tense moment still ensued when Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim suddenly appeared and yelled, “Posasan na rin ang mga ‘yan! Dalhin n’yo sa Tondo!”
When a group of student leaders interrupted his meeting with sectoral representatives, tv cameras caught President Aquino with a shocked stare. The only other time he wore the same expression was when Shalani Soledad told him, “We’re done!”
While President Aquino was talking about cures for the problems of the country, his sister Kris was tweeting about remedies for her FMD. Magkapatid nga sila!
The President’s Sister
Kris Aquino, the president’s youngest sister told the whole world via Twitter that she has foot and mouth disease. In less than 24 hours, the tweet has become viral.
Kris Aquino has FMD. Joey Marquez has denied responsibility for the viral infection.
Did you hear the news? President Aquino’s sister, Kris Aquino is sick. She has FMD. Nah, not ‘Fresh Meat Deficiency.’ It’s foot and mouth disease.
Actually, Kris Aquino has been tweeting about her FMD for almost a year now. Nahh, not FMD as in foot and mouth disease. It’s her other FMD: ‘First Marriage in Disarray.’
On her Twitter account, Kris Aquino said, “Rare daw for an adult to get hawa but u know me — lapitin ng sakit.” Dahil d’yan, may nagteexxxt: “Correction: ikaw ang lumalapit. – Sakit.”
Satisfied?
According to a recent survey conducted by Social Weather Stations, 7 of 10 Filipinos were satisfied with President Aquino’s performance. The other three were monkeys.
——————-
“We believe that to err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.”
~Hubert Humphrey
Breaking News
Less than a week after the reported break up of President Aquino and Valenzuela City Councilor Shalani Soledad, people are now talking about the President’s new apple of the eye. According to dzRH news anchors Deo Macalma and Ruth Abao, the new girl is a junior reporter of TV5. She’s a former child actress and former UP court side reporter in the UAAP. My gulay! She’s too young! May plano ba ang Pangulo na palitan sa trono si Mang Dolphy? The reporter’s name? Patricia Ann Roque.
Reacting to the rumor,Trish tweeted The Professional Heckler. She said
“Huwaaat?! No! I don’t get to talk to PNoy naman eh. Wow, where did that come from?! The last time na na-cover ko sya was his first weekend as president. Yun na yun. Lord, why me?! Hahahaha!”
This just in: Palace insiders denied rumors that President Aquino’s all-time favorite movie is Daddy’s Angel (starring Patricia Ann Roque and ex-basketeer Jayvee Gayoso). Who’s your daddy Patricia? Who’s your daddy! 🙂 Good luck! 🙂
Survey Says…
Prangkahan na. Ano ka:
– Pro-choice. Pass the Reproductive Health Bill! Now na! 88.77%
– Pro-life. No to Reproductive Health Bill! Never! 9.77%
– Hindi ko alam ang isyu. 1.46%
We have a new survey. Please vote now.
Elsewhere
ABS-CBN News (Lynda Jumilla): PNoy’s 1st 100 days marked by factionalism
GMA News: No time for dates: PNoy’s 1st 100 days show unique style
Earth Times.Org: Aquino on track despite missteps in first 100 days
Newsbreak: ‘Honorable candidate’ left his girl again?
Postscript: See photo of the three monkeys above. Nagkataon lang pong kahawig ng dating pangulo ‘yong third monkey. Hindi po sinadya ‘yon.
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1st! hehehe fresh meat deficiency!
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Ah! Akala ko naman kasi yung FMD nya ay foot-in-mouth disease!
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u mean fresh man deficiency
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FMD! on Kris, et al?! didn’t know the ill could settle on homo sapiens. ‘kala ko sa cattle lang at kalabaw yun?! panahon nga naman ngayon… who knows, baka ang mga aso’t baboy naman ang magka-dengue! nothing is impossible nowadays… especially on kris and brod noynoy!
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Sapul on all counts 🙂
I also loved that bit “correction: ikaw ang lumalapit.- sakit”
Looking forward to the next post! Your blog is one of the few things that can make me laugh–no matter how tired I am. 🙂
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🙂
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gosh! di ko sinadayng mag-first honor dine! me award ba, ph? he he.
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First here! How boba of Krissy na ipagkalat sa buong mundo na may FMD siya at ang mga anak niya!
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kris is not boba…… she only gets insecure if she’s not being talked about in the tabloids (some come in broadsheet format though). masisira ang ulo niya pag di pinansin. subokan mong dedmahin sa mall if you cross her path… magdadabog o magtitili yun!
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waiting for this since narinig ko ung tungkol sa assembly. nakakatawa, I’m still not amazed with his accomplishments though, but i’m amazed at your writing skills prof!
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hey, ph… this blog is way up ahead the rest of tonight’s tv newscasts. binabalita pa lang nila, dinisect-disect mo nang gaya ng palakang specimen. nagmukha tuloy luma yung mga tv reports. he he he. if this is not prompt, don’t know what is! my hats off! clap! clap! clap!
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sino po yung “honorable candidate” na tinutukuy sa newsbreak?
and diba dapat told “him” and not “her”
The only other time he wore the same expression was when Shalani Soledad told her, “We’re done!”
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THANKS. sorry.:-)
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Freudian slip Mr. PH? 🙂
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sana abutin ung bilang ng nagkomento sa last entry…masarap magbasa eh…na-i-educate ako…hehehe..i can not indulge myself in the discussions…i don’t have the talent and eloquence that a lot of people here possesses…bira na mga kampon ni PH!!!!!
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….. Media friendly admin kaya pogi. tapos na honeymoon. Tingnan natin..
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Nice one!
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“In his report to the nation, President Aquino did not mention anything about jueteng, his controversial shooting buddy Enrico Puno, and the reported factions in the Cabinet. Hear no evil. See no evil. Speak no evil.”
LOL. Runaway winner ito. 😉
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kakatapos ko lang magbasa ng kabuuang report ni noynoy,
nag-uumapaw na kadatungan at trabahong nagbabadya kaya,
pwede ng ibasura ni noynoy ang rh bill, kaawaawa naman ang
mga bata sana, they too, deserve to live and see the beauty
of God’s creation….
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ang cool….. up to date ang post na ito. swak sa balita kahapon.
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to quote PH: 2016, are we there yet?
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ayos!
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Ugh. President Aquino should get his act together. I dont wanna hear any finger-pointing for the next six years. 😐 Parang hello, get over na. Bitter ka pa rin, teh? Eh kung mag-isip ka nalang kaya ng more solutions para magawan ng paraan yung past mistakes.
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Masanay ka na, you will hear more of his ABCs(Arroyo Bashing Comments) for the next 6 years or so.
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The same way that his mother blamed the quo d’etat and Marcos for the failures of her mismanaged, corrupt-ridden, and kamaganak inc government.
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Susmaryolopezquezon! Di na talaga kayo nasanay!
Ganyan po lagi ang gobyerno ng Pinas, pag-upo ng bagong pangulo, eh lahat ng kabulastugan sa sistema sa gobyerno ay siyempre, sa dating administrasyon ibubunton ang sisi.
Magtaka kayo kung si Osama Bin Laden ang sisihin ni Pnoy! Hmmmp!
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This was a fun post to read. galing galing!
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My mind isn’t working – who was the girl he dumped an election season ago, whose dad was a businessman? Clue naman. I didn’t hear of that one…
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Halata namang planted ang mga tanong eh at anh mga personalities na nilagay nila, kinabog pa nila si Gloria & his 3 Payatas boys. May informal settler pang kasama ha sa town hall meeting. Ika nga ni Aling Dionisia — Bungga!
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nyahaha kulet ng si kris ung lumalapit sa sakit ^^
astig ka talaga sir ph, pati ung picture pasok na pasok ^^
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Hindi ba si Condoleezza Rice yung third monkey?
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Siya nga ata yun. Kasama si Colin Powell at George W. Bush 🙂
Adeek talaga yung post…
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omg! si trish?!!!
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[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Yolynne Medina, donald delgado. donald delgado said: https://professionalheckler.wordpress.com/2010/10/07/the-first-100-days/ […]
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hahaha! Super funny to! 😀
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if i am not mistaken, patricia is a product of eat bulaga’s
talent search, little miss philippines….
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sabi ko na nga ba, may lahing pido itong pamilya ni PNoy… kita mo nman kay Kris… 😀
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another reporter linked to PNOY. How many first ladies are allowed for a President? 🙂
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“Following the straight path is no joke. All of you involved in wrong governance and have caused troubles to the people, I guarantee you, your days are numbered.” -Pnoy
Well dummy, in case you haven’t notice, most of these politicians are in Congress and are your party-mates in the LP at present. 🙂
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Dummy ha… at least ako presidente! Ikaw, walang ginawa sa buhay kundi mag comment sa PH blog…get a life!
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Akala mo lang presidente ka, pero hindi…hindi…hindi! You are nothing but a second rate trying hard PUPPET! Dangling on the strings and swaying to balay,samar, and whatever directions.
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Ang lakas ng shock at trauma na tumama dito kay Eddi sa pagkapanalo ni Noynoy. In denial pa rin hanggang ngayon! 🙂
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yung tatlong-matsing, kamukha rin ni lagman yung sa gitna. puti na kasi ang buhok. hahaha…
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So witty. Ang kuleeeet!!!
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Parang kilala ko ang tatlong matsing! Nyahahahaha.. Ayos!
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3 monkeys…Dick Cheney, Former US President George W Bush and Condaleeza Rice…
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when someone actually sees p-noy with a real girlfriend let me know. i will be amazed. all this sham and pretence makes u wonder who he bats for.
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Now that they cannot contain the news of the breakup with the former GF, they have to create another mythical GF just to keep up with the charade, even if they have to use another innocent victim in the process.
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sinabi mo rising edi… kita mo naman react ni little patricia…”why me?” hahaha! huwag na kasi yang girlfriend-girlfriend na yan. N/A yan, as in not applicable… di tayo kikita dyan. he he.
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LOL, heckler! ang tagal kong absent, had to back read a number of posts. i thought the speech was a bit ho-hum. parang minadali. misplaced and a tad too long din yung whining and griping sa dulo. because the writers put it in the end, yun ang naaalala ng tao at nakakalimutan the “acomplishments” rattled off earlier. oh well…
and thanks for the link. have a great weekend!
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Something as staple as a simple speech, this government it seems, cannot get it right. Frightening indication of what lies ahead.
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Si Kris talaga di papadaig kay koya PNOY.
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yung mga high blood na mga nag comment sa last post? ano kayo ngayon? pag may new post na, limot na din mga post nyo. kung makapag comment kayo parang kaya nyo mag wage ng holy war. ang tatapang nyo.
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Bwahahahahahaha!
Ayyyyy! Tama po ba ang reaction ko?
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Syempre matapang dahil nasa harap lang ng pyuter.
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Natawa naman ako sa username mo…Dan Yellow in reply to Dan Brown. Ask ko, Cory yellow ka ba?
@echosera, natuwa rin ako sa reaction mo. 🙂
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@esa: Nope, i’m not pro-Cory.
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And your point is? Who appointed you to be the Laguardia of this site? You can always scroll down fast if you don’t like to read the comments, you know. Dali, check nyo blood pressure nyo baka tumaas dahil sa sagot ko.
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hindi naman nakakataas ng blood pressure mga comments mo. Nakakatawa pa nga eh..
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Yup, exactly…ganyang ganyan si Eddibumangon…kala mo may nagagawa ang kada-dakdak nya! Eddi is such a LOSER!!
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mukhang may tinamaan dun sa comment ni Dan Brown. Masakit ba?
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mukhang may tinamaan sa comment. may bukol ba?
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ABC – Arroyo Bashing Comments. Hahaha panalo!
Nakakainis na si PNoy. Laging sinisisi ang previous admin. Sa pagkakaalam ko, namana lang din naman ng Arroyo admin ang bagsak nating ekonomiya mula sa admin ni Erap… Pero narinig ba natin si Gloria na sinisisi nya yung admin ni Erap dahil binagsak nya ang ekonomiya ng Pinas? Napaka-SHOWBIZ lang talaga. Tsk tsk.
At grabe naman tong si Kris! Pati ba naman yung mga gamot na iniinom nila, itweet pa? Sabagay, yung STD nga, hindi siya nahiya na iannounce sa mundo thru TV eh, yung FMD pa kaya?
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Security risk din si Kris. Nightmare siguro sa mga PSG ang ilang tweets niya.
Example:
On Tuesday 5th October 2010, @itsmekrisaquino said:
Traveling at 5:30 AM to attend Mass in Dagupan Cathedral in Pangasinan w/ my sisters. Our dear friend, Archbishop Soc’s 1st anniversary. Good road trip so that my sisters & I can bond. Good night.
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Shalani, andito lang ako…
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Haha. astig ka talaga PH. Anyway, may nakita ako, report card naman sa 100 days ni Noynoy. Sobra sya. Here’s the link:
http://projectkino.wordpress.com/2010/10/10/the-first-100-day-noynoy-administrations-report-card/
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It should be double zero in all subjects, Ang tuwid nadaan ay pala walang laman
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The shortest distance from one point to another is a straight line. The path that separates GMA’s corrupt government and Noynoy’s incompetent administration is a straight line. There’s not much of a difference. Noynoy is GMA with a balding head, minus the nunal.
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super galing nga to! one of those PH GEMS! TOWN HALL MEETING! ABC! puede rin PTA meeting di ba, sen joker?
ang saya-saya dito. pinoy nga. lulubog na barko tawanan pa rin.
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Masaya nga rito talaga…whether lulubog-lilitaw ang issues. But dasal ko huwag naman lulubog na talaga ang barko ni Noynoy…kawawa naman ang Pilipinas.
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about the 3 wise monkeys naman, magulat kaya ang yellow crowd o matuwa dahil nakadilaw na rin pala tong mga unggoy. “wat?, wat u tink of us?”
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Correction lang po. Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease (HFMD) po ang sakit ni Kris at ng mga anak niya. Ito yung sakit na nakukuha ng mga tao lalo ng mga bata. Iba po yung Foot and Mouth Disease (FMD). Yung FMD po ay sakit na nakukuha ng mga hayop na tulad ng mga baka at baboy.
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i know it was HFMD. but i just quoted her tweet.
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So kris pala ang dapat i-correct. ika nga ni etchos, pambansang katatawanan.
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Yes, it was Kris who tweeted that she and kids have caught the FMD. Maybe her doctors are not that magaling? FMD siguro sinabi sa kanya initially instead of HFMD.
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sabi ni Jan nakukuha sa baboy? ah eh FMD nga. diba si Joshua unang nagkasakit?
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tagal ng update ah
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“Correction: ikaw ang lumalapit. – Sakit.”
hahahahaha
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why am i not surprise.. ganyan na talaga si Pnoy
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[…] original here: The First 100 Days « The Professional Heckler This entry was posted in 100 Days and tagged congress, party, people, the-people, […]
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