100


President Aquino’s First 100 Days in Office

June 30:
– Experienced the longest limousine ride of his life with his former economics teacher
– Took his oath of office
– Declared war against the “wangwang”
– Committed his first ever mistake: the issuance of the confusing Memorandum Circular No. 1
– Sang a pitchy version of “Estudyante Blues” at a street party

July 1:
– Re-issued the “fine-tuned” Memorandum Circular No. 1
– Palace spokesman argued with reporters and refused to call it a “boo-boo”
Whatevs!

July 4:
– Did some target shooting in Antipolo City with his future brother-in-law Junjun Binay

July 9:
– Appointed Jesse Robredo as secretary of “DILG” but failed to inform the public that Robredo would be in charge only of the LG leaving the DI to another shooting buddy

July 13:
– Partied with the Malacañang Press Corps
– Sang a song and scored 85. Outside, a heavy downpour.
– Sang another song, scored 78. Outside, strong winds blew from the northeast.
– Typhoon Basyang hit Metro Manila

July 14:
– Stormed the NDCC office and reprimanded PAGASA for its “failure” to accurately predict the path of Typhoon Basyang
– Went back to the palace, logged on to Facebook and deleted from his list of friends PAGASA chief Prisco Nilo

July 22:
– While angry mobs busted pipes; schools suspended classes, and people fought over a pail of water, government announced that there was ‘no water crisis’

July 26:
– Played safe in his first State of the Nation Address: no major promises
– Admitted that the government was almost bankrupt and blamed the Arroyo administration
– Exposed the excesses of MWSS executives

July 27:
– Played fair. Announced the appointment of Balay Group’s Ricky Carandang and Samar Group’s Herminio Coloma to the Presidential Communications Group

July 31:
– In agony, watched his sister Kris as she announced on TV her admiration for Junjun Binay
– Phoned Junjun Binay and apologized for his sister’s “usual” behavior

August 6:
– To everyone’s surprise, fired Dr. Prisco Nilo of PAGASA

August 23:
– Hostage crisis happened
– Performed a disappearing act
– Isko Moreno took over.

August 24:
– Re-appeared on TV shortly after midnight and answered questions on the hostage crisis
– Smiled during the press con

August 26:
– Censored his Facebook Like Page following a barrage of angry, racist, and obscene comments from Hong Kong Chinese nationals, and Filipinos as well
– Dr. Prisco Nilo clicked “Unlike”

August 27:
– An intoxicated Little President reportedly spotted at the Manila Peninsula lobby with a has-been singer-actress

August 31:
– Welcomed Miss Universe 4th Runner Up Maria Venus Raj to Malacañang

September 1:
– Palace spokesman denied existence of factions in Cabinet
Peks man? Cross your heart and hope to die?

September 3:
– Without a single official taking responsibility for the botched hostage rescue, he apologized (11 days after the incident); saving everyone’s asses in the process

September 7:
– Revealed differences with Jesse Robredo (We knew it!)
– Enrico Puno’s popularity (or infamy) surged

September 9:
– No holds barred interview with three generations of TV news anchors: Mel Tiangco, Ted Failon and Paolo Bediones
– Foolishly admitted on live TV that he received an insulting letter from Hong Kong
What were you thinking?!

September 13:
– Sworn in members of the so-called “Truth Commission”
Isang malaking good luck!

September 13:
– Ordered the PNP and the DILG to eradicate jueteng, and then declared: “Tapos na ang maliligayang araw nila!”
Isa pang malaking good luck!

September 14:
– Challenged Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz to name his two trusted aides who were allegedly receiving jueteng payola
– Vowed to penalize the two aides. His exact words: “Pasensiyahan tayo, walang awang mangyayari!”

September 17
– Received a copy of the IIRC Report on the hostage crisis
– Released the full report to the Chinese
– Released a portion of the report to the Filipinos

September 20
– Left for the United States with BFF Mar Roxas

September 21:
– Archbishop Oscar Cruz identified the president’s shooting buddy Enrico Puno and former PNP chief Jesus Versoza as “ultimate recipients” of jueteng payola
– Archbishop Cruz revealed “’Yong asawa ni Barretto” visited and ordered him to “go easy” on the president’s shooting buddy

September 23:
– Spent $54 on hotdogs on a New York sidewalk with BFF Mar Roxas and another Balay Group member Cesar Purisima,

September 24:
– Told the press he would not sack Enrico Puno (See September 14 entry; second line)… because the man is entitled to “due process” (See August 6 entry)
– Delivered an address at the UN General Assembly with some 20 official UN representatives in attendance

September 24:
– “Yong asawa ni Barretto” denied telling Archbishop Cruz to “go easy” on the President’s shooting buddy; lectured the media on news gathering and reporting

September 25:
– Spent seven minutes with Barack Obama
First world leaders get 15 minutes

September 25:
– Lito Lapid filed a bill limiting the weight of children’s bag

September 28:
– Returned to the Philippines with US$2.4 billion new investments
– Distributed a bar of chocolate each to his sisters, and a “secret gift” (read: wala) to his girlfriend

September 29:
– Shalani Soledad denied rumored breakup with the President
(May alam kami.)

September 30:
– (Almost) excommunicated!
(‘Di pa man nakakasal, excommunicated na. Patay tayo d’yan!)

October 1:
– Palace spokesman gave the Aquino administration a passing mark for its first three months in office
(Love your own!)

The honeymoon period is done.
100 days are gone.
2,090 days to go.
2016: Are we there yet?
————————————–
“There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.”
~Will Rogers

Survey Says
Prangkahan na! Saan ka:
– All-out war laban sa jueteng! 37.09%
– Legalize it! 50.63%
– Kahit ano. Bahala na. 12.28%

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

94 thoughts on “100”

    1. September 25:
      – Lito Lapid filed a bill limiting the weight of children’s bag
      ——-
      erase! erase!
      ———————————————————–
      September 28:
      – Returned to the Philippines with US$2.4 billion new investments
      – Distributed a bar of chocolate each to his sisters, and a “secret gift” (read: wala) to his girlfriend
      ——–
      Lagi na lang ganyan. everytime pupunta ang pres sa ibang bansa, laging may dalang pledge…pangakong napapako!
      Wawa naman si Soledad, kahit yema o polburon ay wala!
      ____________________________________________________________________

      September 29:
      – Shalani Soledad denied rumored breakup with the President
      (May alam kami.)
      ——-
      Naku, wawa ka Inday Soleng. Forever virgin ka dyan. Bka matulad ka kay Lola Karing, hanggang ngayon…birhen pa rin!!
      _______________________________________________________________
      September 30:
      – (Almost) excommunicated!
      (‘Di pa man nakakasal, excommunicated na. Patay tayo d’yan!)
      ———-
      Naku, PNoy maraming simbahan dyan..wag kang mag-ala2!!
      _________________________________________________________________
      October 1:
      – Palace spokesman gave the Aquino administration a passing mark for its first three months in office
      ——-
      😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

      Like

    1. gawa ka rin ng blog mo! yung mga akala mong na-miss out dito na mga pangyayari eh isulat mo din. tapos bigyan mo kami ng link para mabasa din namin…… para makumpleto na at maging masaya ka, okey?

      Ang hangad kasi ng blog na ito ay mapasaya ang mga readers! di ba obvious yun sayo?

      chico na nga… naging ampalaya pa! hmmmmp!

      Like

  1. “September 30:
    – (Almost) excommunicated!
    (‘Di pa man nakakasal, excommunicated na. Patay tayo d’yan!)”

    HAHAHA winner! :))

    Tapos na ang 100 days ng pagpapa-cute. Sana lang, ipakita nya na kung ano ba talaga ang kaya gawin ng admin nya. Hindi yung lagi nlang nya sinisisi ang previous government sa mga failure ng admin nya. Oo na, madumi nga siguro yung previous administration. Pero sana higitan nya muna yung mga achievements na nagawa nito (dahil meron naman talaga kahit papaano diba?) bago nya siraan si Gloria.

    Move on, PNoy! Mas dapat mong pagtuunan ng pansin ang Tuwid na Daan! Wag ka nang lilingon pabalik dahil kahit tuwid ang daan mo eh pwede ka pa rin mabangga!

    Like

    1. naku, sabi nanga ba, it’s not really enough that you elect a clean leader baga! what happens kung you hardly know how to identify clean company to come with you sa “tuwid na daan?” ano, hit and hit and then miss and miss? sabi ni oscar wilde… “even if you’re on the right tract, you’ll be run over if you don’t move.” sabi naman natin, even if you’re on the right tract (kaya?!), you’ll go unapt, kung mga isinasama mo, palpak!”

      Like

  2. Pasingit sa June 30
    – Posed for picture with entire family (except future ex-brother in law James Yap) in Malacanang Palace

    August 19
    – Robin Padilla and Mariel Rodriguez get married in India, just to have a convenient excuse not to return to Pilipinas Win na Win

    Pasingit sa August 23
    – Had a massage

    Pasingit sa Sept 17
    – Immediately formed a committe (supposedly composed of Malacanang attorneys) to REVIEW the report of the IIRC (which incidentally means, Incident Investigation and REVIEW Committee) headed by the Attorney-General

    Like

  3. For the good of our country, I sure hope the President and his men do well in the coming days.

    It’s a bad sign when some people are thinking that certain crisis situations would have been handled much better by the supposedly reviled PGMA administration.

    PNoy should stop listening to what the people around him ask him to do. Instead, he should start doing what he feels is right for the country. He is the President now and he does not have to take one adviser’s advice which expectedly contradict the advice of another adviser. His own conscience is his best counsel.

    Like

    1. yup, for the good of the country, we all hope he will eventually do things right.

      but what do you expect from a president who had to get the advise of the pink sisters (tama ba?) before he could decide to run for the presidency? That was already a preview of what his administration would be like…Nothing now is surprising… 😦

      Like

      1. Tumpak, ma’am. Questionable talaga ang kanyang decision making skills. Kung ang simpleng dilemma (tatakbo sa presidency or hindi) kailangan pa ng advice at ilang araw na retreat sa Pink Sisters, ano pa kaya kung isang major-major problem? 1 month retreat at saka advice from San Pedro? God save the Philippines!

        Like

  4. He actually did something in that 100 days? That’s a surprise!

    As per observation, the first 100 days was nothing more than a payback time for him and his supporters. There wasn’t anything substantial, nothing that would make you hallucinate that the Philippines actually elected a president and not just another dummy for those who have assisted him.

    As the saying say, tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you how much you promised them, or birds of the same feather makes a good feather duster for nothing but meaningless issues.

    Like

  5. 2016 Are we there yet?
    Classic!
    A fitting line to end a funny summary.

    Seriously though, I hope the President and the Cabinet will go deeper to solving the problems of the country and will not just resort to posturing and PR stunts.
    Everybody knows that the hotdog lunch is mainly a PR stunt.
    In the end, people will ask and demand for more relevant and substantial measures to end their miseries.

    Like

  6. nice read! bakit parang konti pa lang nag-comment? (time zone difference?)
    sana lang hindi pa end of the world sa 2012, shet si Pnoy last president natin? so tapos na pala 100 days. ano nang nangyari? parang puro kapalpakan lang naalala ko ah.

    gusto ko ung crossed out portion para kay sen. lapid. haha.

    regards from KSA

    Like

  7. I will pray for you people are are being misguided by the devil for Jesus Christ to save your souls.

    This reproductive health is more about liberated sex more than responsible sex.

    PLEASE SAY THE NOVENA EVERY NIGHT FOR SEVEN DAYS SO YOU CAN SEE THE SPARK OF ENLIGHTENMENT

    Like

    1. there you go again… judging people with your holier-than-thou attitude! It’s is you who needs enlightenment!

      I suggest that instead of praying for our souls, please pray for yourself…. that you will be gifted with an open mind and heart to be able to see things as they really are and not as what you want them to be.

      Like

      1. @ kaye:

        Tama naman ako, divaneng? Naiirita kasi ako sa mga ganyan klaseng tao, yung mga nakabasa lang ng dalawa’t kalahating pahina sa Bibliya eh akala mo kung sinong napakalinis at napakabanal na; at wala nang pakundangan kung gamitin ang pangalan ng Diyos!

        Pero iha, in furnace ha, now ko lang nalaman na ang mga epis diyan sa inyo ay nagtataxi na! Wow! Ay major major na talaga yan, ha?

        Di na rin ako magtataka kung nagta-tricycle na rin ang mga langgam diyan sa inyo! Ahihihihihihi!

        Like

    2. sorry, not a catholic. say your novena for yourself and for your president who knows nothing but to brag about anything he could brag on just to save his ass. and you think that eating $54 hotdog is something good? masyado naman yata ibinababa ng presidente mo ang dignidad at image ng mga pinoy, panghotdog sa mga hotdog stand lang. no wonder he spent 7 minutes with obama, pangthird world country. har har har

      Like

  8. dapat pumunta si Mr. Prisco Nilo sa NLRC for ILLEGAL TERMINATION kasi di binigyan ng DUE PROCESS…

    sabi nga, nakikila ang isang tao sa kanyang kilos at gawa (o HINDI pagkilos o HINDI paggawa) at hindi sa mga pa cute ng PR companies nya…

    at sabi nga ng lola ko, kung ano ang puno, yun sigurado ang bunga… pero pag hilaw pa ang mangga, maasim talaga… sana nagpahinog muna si PNOY kasi halatadong di pa talaga niya kayang sumabak sa kanyang sinuong na tungkulin…

    Like

  9. P-noy, honeymoon-honeymoon ka pa dyan … rite of passage lang yan … kung walang passion, bale wala ang intention … eh kay shalani pa lang, mukhang malasado ka na, paano pa sa sandamukal na problemang pambansa na sabay-sabay na, palala pa nang palala … tsk, tsk, … palagay ko kelangan mo pa muna ng mas intense na inspirasyon at motivation bago tayo may makitang light at the end of the tunnel. for the next 6 yrs minus the honeymoon, good luck!

    Like

  10. PH, you forgot to include here the government hiring a US Firm for Noynoy’s US Trip.

    I was trying to find out what substantial effort the President exerted during his first 100 days, but realized how futile this exercise was…maybe taking responsibility for what happened during the hostage crisis…after eleven days. haha!

    On shalani denying rumors about their breakup…Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt. baka nga di pa nya alam na binreak na siya ni noynoy. Medyo malayo ang tinitirahan niya from the palace eh. 😀

    That last quote is so true. Nothing beats getting your daily dose of katatawanan from the government. 😉

    Like

  11. haha- haneep yung july 31!
    yung kay shalani… na walang pasalubong. (huhuhu!), sana pg tinatanong sya ulit kung break na sila, sana sumagot na lang sya ng… “no comment!” o kaya , “sya na lang tanungin nyo!”… para medyo shobiz pero safe at hindi yung (me alam pa kami!) , kaya lang baka si mang edwin ang sumagot!…

    Like

  12. very clever and approproate reflection of someone who clearly is clueless.
    other major achievements
    gave up smoking for 12 hours
    gave up on shalani – permanently
    stuck up for puno and lim as the good guys
    tried not to make a decision
    restyled his hair
    opened his mouth and put his foot in it- repeatedly
    insulted the chinese
    pretended all is well with everything
    kept on smiling
    went begging to the americans
    kept roxas close at hand
    sold sister kris to son binay to keep dad quiet
    spent time alone in a padded cell
    censored the palace web site
    in malacanang no one can hear u scream

    am sure the next 100 days will be just as much of a soap opera

    Like

      1. Hay naku Koya Eddi, wag na kasing umasa dyan sa mga budget budget para sa ating mga OFW. Mapupunta lang naman yan sa mga walang silbing mga tauhan ng mga embahada natin sa labas ng Pinas.

        Mga leche sila! Imbes na tulungan yung mga naaabusong mga kababayan natin,….. ayun, ang pobresitong kabayan pa ang sinisisi sa mga pangyayari. I’m sure you have heard of these stories.

        Like

      1. Magandang tanong…mas inspirado ang mga kabataan kung si G1BO kesa kay A*noy na puro bulakbol ang alam gawin. How can a president with NO RECORD of any accomplishment inspire the nation??? INCOMPETENCE is a way of life for this administration. May the people NEVER forget these happenings in 2016.

        Like

      2. nyahahaha mainitin nga ulo nun, kaya malamang tama si sir Anonymous, kay pnoy may “due process” pa eh… sa kalapit nya ^_^

        iba kasi talaga pag may executive experience ang isang kandidato, hindi katulad ng nangangapa pa, nagmumukha talagang student government sabi nga ni sen. joker arroyo ^_^

        pag si gibo, malamang parliament na tayo within at least 3 months + prime minister na si pgma ^_^

        Like

  13. u believe in the age-old maxim: “first impression is lasting.”? sabi ng modern -ism, di na applicable. and i say, it is! all the first 100 days is a showcase of what will be and will have been. ano pa ba gusto natin… impulse firing (nilo pagasa); slow cooking (robredo/puno tandem), kristeta’s usual acting (walang ganyan sa ibang season!), laban-bawi memorandums; one of a kind metro bombing (sa mga unsuspecting ex-future lawyers!), and the top of it all (we’ve never seen like this before! remember?). the luneta hostage-taking!. these are mike tests 1-2-3!. and how has he fared? halleeer?! okay, birth pains; nanganganay (expression namin dine sa probins). cge, pagbigyan. wait na lang sa redeeming factor? sana dumating! and soon!

    Like

    1. What? There’s a 23% drop in the net satisfaction rating of Pnoy? In just 100 days in office? At this rate, it would not be long ’til his rating would be in the negative, worse than GMA.

      If this is something that the likes of ramrod would find reasons to boast about, then I was not amiss in my opinion that he is stupid! 😉

      Like

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