HONEST MISTAKE

PRESIDENT AQUINO has returned from his US trip. In his arrival speech, the President made two important announcements. First, that the government was able to secure new investments from at least eight business firms, and second, that the country was no longer at war.


Inverted RP Flag
Rebecca Thompson, the spokesperson of the US Embassy in Manila apologized for displaying the Philippine flag upside down at an event in New York last Friday. [An inverted flag means the nation is in a state of war.] Thompson declined to confirm rumors that the Philippine flag was made in Hong Kong.

This just in! The person who reportedly made the (honest) mistake of displaying an inverted RP flag in New York has offered to resign from the Obama government. When President Aquino heard this, he advised President Obama to reject the resignation saying, “The guy is entitled to due process.”

With regard to some people who are making an issue out of the inverted RP flag incident, President Aquino said, “Maraming tao’ng walang magawa.” Ouch.


Aquino and Obama
President Aquino said he and US President Barack Obama met for seven minutes. Another source said, it was actually 10 minutes… but the first three minutes was spent looking for a lighter.

President Aquino and US President Barack Obama met for approximately seven minutes. Aquino spent two minutes discussing military matters, while Obama used all of five minutes apologizing for the inverted Philippine flag.

Top 5 Things Overheard at the Meeting of President Aquino and US President Barack Obama

No. 5: “Lights or menthol?”

No. 4: “I admit. I’m an instant fan. So tell me more about Charice.”

No. 3: “Can we have Kristie Kenney back?”

No. 2: “If Donald Tsang or anybody in Beijing bothers you again, I’m just a phone call away. ”

And the No. 1 thing overheard at the meeting of Presidents Aquino and Obama…

“I hope you won’t mind me asking but have you tried Svenson?”

Lito Lapid’s Bill
Senator Lito Lapid has filed a bill seeking to limit the weight of bags being carried by school children to schools. DepEd Chief Bro. Armin Luistro has rejected the proposal and urged other senators to file a bill seeking to stop Lito Lapid from filing similar measures.

Reelected Senator Lito Lapid has filed “An act limiting the amount of weight of bags carried by children in school and implementing proactive measures to protect school children’s health from the adverse effect of heavy school bag.” Tanong ng bayan kay Ginoong Lapid: Senador ka ba o pangulo ng PTA?

Top 5 Predicted Bills to be Filed Soon by Sen. Lito Lapid

No. 5: “An act limiting the use of ballpoint pens in primary schools to prevent inkblots on school uniforms”

No. 4: “An act promoting the use of Mongol pencil No. 2 in grade schools because they make the best marks”

No. 3: “An act seeking to penalize pupils who will be caught chewing a classmate’s eraser, notebook, pad paper, and all forms of writing implements”

No. 2: “An act allowing teachers to sell ‘tocino’ and ‘polvoron’ in public elementary and secondary schools on Fridays only”

And the No. 1 predicted bill to be filed soon by Senator Lito Lapid…

“An act seeking to make ‘Recess’ an elective subject; pupils will be graded based on the nutritional value of the food they eat during the 15-minute break.”

Fired!
Kris Aquino has been told by the management of ABS-CBN to leave the poorly-rating game show “Pilipinas, Win na Win” starting Friday. Aquino was asked to quit the program following reports that several Kapamilya viewers have suffered from loss of hearing due to her ‘screaming’ habit.
———————-
“The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.”

Who The Heck?
Down-to-earth Politician [D2EP] has not seen long-lost dad for more than two decades – almost three decades, to be precise. Surprise! The father showed up just recently. According to D2EP’s uncle who was a witness to the reunion, while the father was filled with emotion, D2EP was like, “Uhmmm, okay.” Apparently, D2EP wasn’t as thrilled. Unknown to the public, D2EP grew up without a father. That’s the reason why instead of using the father’s last name, D2EP uses mom’s maiden name! Now you know. Clue: Enumerate the names of Jose Rizal’s siblings and you’ll get the answer!

Survey Says
Kaninong bersyon ng kuwento ang mas pinapaniwalaan n’yo:
– Archbishop Oscar Cruz 57.31%
– Tony Boy Cojuangco 2.4%
– Wala. 40.29%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal
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Author: professionalheckler

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104 thoughts on “HONEST MISTAKE”

    1. Titserette babaylan, medyo out of topic ito pero up to now i don’t understand why we are celebrating Philippine Independence day on June 12, supposedly the time we earned our Independence from Spain in 1898, eh di ba after that di pa rin naman tayo independent kasi under tayo ng Aremika dahil nga sa Treaty of Paris, di po ba? Di po ba binili ng Aremika ang kalayaan avenue natin?

      Tapos, nasakop din naman tayo ng mga Japoks nung WWII, naging comfort women ang karamihang babaylan, este babae at si Lola Nila eh naging reyna ng mga comfort gays, di po ba ulit?

      Naguguluhan po ako sa usaping ito. Yung amo ko naman dito, ipinatatanong din sayo kung magkano daw po ba ang kilo ng galunggong sa Balintawak market nung panahon ni Paciano Rizal?

      Like

    2. Di ko alam kong pinag iisipan mo ba ang pinagsasabi mo lalo na sa ipinasa na bill ni lapid. yung anak at pamangkin ko ay lagi na lang masakit sa likod at dibdib dahil sa bigat ng mga backpack nila, halos nasa 8 kilos yung backpack at may bitbit pang case. Ito ay seryosong issue at hindi kakatawanan.

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    1. 😀 😀 😀 Bwahahahhahha si Sen Lito Lapid, pangulo ng PTA! ja ja ja ja ja ja……kaloka.. 😀 😀
      ———–
      Top 5 Predicted Bills to be Filed Soon by Sen. Lito Lapid

      No. 2: “An act allowing teachers to sell ‘tocino’ and ‘polvoron’ in public elementary and secondary schools on Fridays only”

      😀 😀 ala2 ko tuloy noong grade 3 ako sa isang public school sa isang remote na lugar sa mindanao… pag tinatanong ng teacher ko about sa lesson, ang password ko kaagad para maka-lusot dhil ndi ko alam ang sagot ay:

      “ma’am pabili nga ng yema, sampung (10) sentimo”..sagot kaagad ang teacher, “sige kumuha ka ng 5 lima piraso..wag mangupit lugi na ako..” tpos sabay turo kay sa isa kong classmate, “Anita, what is the diff between cirrus cloud against cirrocumulus cloud?”. At pag ndi nasagot, sabay pingot sa tenga at wika ng guro “Ang bobo mooooooo!!!!” 😀 😀

      Like

    1. Top 5 Predicted Bills to be Filed Soon by Sen. Lito Lapid

      And the No. 1 predicted bill to be filed soon by Senator Lito Lapid…

      “An act seeking to make ‘Recess’ an elective subject; pupils will be graded based on the nutritional value of the food they eat during the 15-minute break.”

      ——–
      sus, kung napaaga lang itong bill ni Honorable Senator Lito Lapid sana naiwasan malason yung mga pupil ng isang public school sa Bohol.

      Kung na isa-batas kaagad ito, sana walang namatay dhil sa kamoteng kahoy na kinain ng mga estudyante during recess time…

      Like

  1. The history of the Philippine Flag is found in: http://flagspot.net/flags/ph-hist.html by Manual L. Quezon III.

    It says:”The Philippine flag was sewn by the revolutionary junta in Hong Kong and first displayed in battle on May 28, 1898. It was formally unfurled during the proclamation of Philippine independence on June 12, 1898, by President Emilio Aguinaldo.” AND ” ….the flag was first unfurled with the blue stripe above, but was flown with the red stripe above upon the commencement of hostilities between the Filipinos and Americans in 1899.”

    These facts still remain. What happened in New York did not change history.

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  2. hahaha. riot sa LOL yung kay Sen.Leon Guerero… sayang naman ang preycious time sa senado kung bibigyan ng privileydz hearing yung pagbusisi sa mabigat na bagahe ng mga school kids. e san mo naman dadalhin yung sangkatutak na mga buks being required sa klase na mali-mali naman ang facts at grammar? senator talaga! e di nawalan ng raket sa dep-ed yung mga meron dyan, anoh! at tama ka ph, pag naaprubahan yan, sure precedent! kasi pati mga lapis at ball pens, sharpener, et al, malamang ipa-regulate na rin… ay sus, ang lalim talaga ni kang leon, hane!

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  3. Akala ko, Thompson declined to confirm rumors that the Philippines was at war with Hong Kong. hehehe.

    another good one, PH. laugh trip na naman ako lalo dun sa mga bills na isusulong ni Lito Lapid. lahat magaganda at kapakipakinabang. LOL.

    And it’s good that abs cbn removed Kris from that show. I hope that somehow reduces her too bloated ego.

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    1. Re Kris… pera-pera lang talaga e. The show with Kris there is not doing well with the ratings…Kris’ persona isn’t fit for the show…hirap ang mga viewers sa boses niyang masakit sa ears, she can’t dance (even umindak nang maayos yata parang hirap), she can’t sing, she doesn’t have the sense of humor fit for the show…so kahit sister pa siya ni P-Noy, if the show doesn’t bring in the moolah, ABS-CBN has to get her out of the show. It didn’t also help the show that Kris alienated a lot of people with her constant airing and exposure of her marriage problems making it appear that she has been the dehado in the union. It’s really a wake-up call for Kris to eat some humble pie.

      Like

  4. Kris Aquino has been told by the management of ABS-CBN to leave the poorly-rating game show “Pilipinas, Win na Win” starting Friday. Aquino was asked to quit the program following reports that several Kapamilya viewers have suffered from loss of hearing due to her ‘screaming’ habit.

    Juicemio! Bakit ngayon lang? Nakuuuu! Dadami na naman ang kokonsulta sa mga optometrist, no?

    Ang mag-react, gagawin kong palaka na magiging kaboses ni Kris!

    Ahah ahah ahah!

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  5. PH, matagal ko nang gustong hilingin syo na kung pwede interbyuhin mo naman ang ipingmamalaking anak ng pampanga, si Sen Lapid. di ko alam kung pinagkakaisahan sya sa senado. kc ang ibang mga senador lagi natin silang naririnig na nagpapakita ng kanilang galing sa pagtatalumpati, si Sen Lapid di namin marinig. Bakit? ? ? wala ba syang karapatan na marinig naman sya ng mga milyong Pilipinong bumoto sa kanya?

    Like

      1. sa totoo lang mas nanakibingi ang pagiging tamihik ni Honorable Senator Lito Lapid sa Senado 😀 😀 😀

        dhil pag binigyan ng pagkakataon magkaroong ng priviledge speech si Honorable Senator Lito Lapid ay baka palatandaan na ito na malapit ng magunaw ang mundo!!!

        Like

      1. and a rolling bag, soon at that.

        think positive lang, idol. 🙂 kung rejected ang proposal mo to limit the weight carried by school kids in their school bags, file a revised version banning all backpacks and in lieu of that, traveling bags with wheels para sa mga estudyanteng nakukuba na.

        mag volunteer na endorser ng samsonite, swiss army, etc para mey visual awareness sa publiko tungkol sa mga bag bag na to.

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  6. I am one of those who oppose those over weight books being carried by school children. This kind of suffering is more evident in the province where pupils need to walk kilometers to and from school. This needs no legislation though, common sense na lang sana gawin ng mga teachers para gumaan ang dala ng mga estudyante at please lang bawasan din mga pinapadala nila noh like walis, timba, tubig pandilig etc etc…

    Like

    1. dito gawa ang marlboro lights, mapa gold man or menthol. pag nasa thailand ka, ang marlboro ay may tatak na made in the philippines. sa sing at japan, made in switzerland. sa hk, made in the philippines pa rin.

      it during arroyo’s term when a week before yata, she was for the crusade of anti-smoking, the following week, she was at the opening of the regional (asian) manufacturing plant of philip morris whom the BOI approved to have that plant set here.

      Like

  7. Clue 1: My FIRST LADY [to be]! Yes…
    Clue 2: 7 letters for *** name…and 7 letters for *** surname…
    Clue 3: Ang surname niya ay title din ng isang awitin mula sa Westlife!
    Clue 4: Ang first name niya ay parang pang-Arab…since rumors say that *** biological father was an Arab/chups-ek (from KSA, to be more specific)
    Clue 5: Alam niyo na siguro!

    Like

  8. naku, wawa naman kayo dun sa blind item. hwag nyo na masyado i-ID kasi she’s very low profile na nga, sadsad na sa basement sa pagpapalow-profile, hatak pa nyo sa ground floor. hanyo na sya. halos nag-zero balance na yung lovelife nya dun sa sobrang sikat. simpathee lang mga kapulso… tantanan na.. wala sya kasalanan; nadamay lang; di sya ang salarin! he he he.

    Like

  9. kc aacording to sen.lapid…
    “di mo na kailangan ang maraming books
    at kung ano-ano pa.
    mag-artista ka na lang at pag sikat ka na
    kumandidato ka ng mayor,gobrrnador,senador and then presidente!!!
    aral-aral pa!?di na kailangan yun!!!
    look at me, si bong,si jinggoy,si erap!!!hello!!!?!

    Like

  10. Shalani Soledad.
    Hiwalay ang parents niya. Tapos hindi surname ng tatay nya ang ginamit.

    Here is the excerpt from the Kris – Shalani interview
    ———–
    K: So, sino ang nag-alaga talaga sa iyo?
    S: Lolo and lola ko sa mother side ko.

    K: You can choose to answer this or not pero saan ‘yong father along the way?
    S: Hiwalay kasi sila ng mommy ko. Since I was small, hiwalay na sila.

    K: Did you know him at least or did you have a relationship?
    S: There was really no relationship but yes, I know him. Kasi magkaaway sila ng mommy ko.
    —————

    Like

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