GRILLED

The New PNP Chief
Earlier this week, President Aquino appointed Deputy Director General Raul Bacalzo as the new chief of the Philippine National Police. Sought for reaction after his appointment, Bacalzo said, “Grabe! Para akong tumama sa jueteng!”

Newly-appointed PNP chief Deputy Director General Raul Bacalzo said “I’m ordering my regional and district directors to eradicate jueteng and all forms of illegal gambling,” – to which the regional and district directors said, “Sir, saan n’yo kami gustong magsimula? Sa puno?”

The Undersecretary
Rumors say the jueteng allegation has been taking its toll on Undersecretary Rico Puno. Of late, he couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat, and he couldn’t resist TV and radio guestings.

Interior Undersecretary Rico Puno denied allegations he was on the take from jueteng operators… but few people believed him. That’s one of the perils of being a Puno in government.

Interior Undersecretary Rico Puno has reportedly offered to step down. As of press time though, he’s still there. If he doesn’t resign in 11 days, President Aquino will take the cudgels for him.

ABS-CBN’s informant revealed that Interior Undersecretary Rico Puno is one of two high-ranking government officials who allegedly receive monthly jueteng payola. ABS-CBN has declined to identify its informant… out of respect for Archbishop Cruz’ request to remain anonymous.

Top 5 Movie Remakes Starring Interior Undersecretary Rico Puno

No. 5: Close Encounters of the Emissary Kind

No. 4: Kung Fu Pineda

No. 3: Jueteng to Exhale

No. 2: Look Who’s Taking!

And the No. 1 movie remake starring Interior Undersecretary Rico Puno…

Y Tu Mamá Tumbok ng otsenta, sahod ng beinte

The Senate Probe
Senators are set to conduct a fresh investigation into the jueteng controversy. If nothing comes out of the probe, they’ll invite TV news executives and blame them for reporting about jueteng.

News Execs Grilled
Last Tuesday, senators grilled television news executives and a couple of radio news anchors in connection with the bungled hostage rescue. ABS-CBN’s Maria Ressa tried to explain their side. GMA 7’s Jessica Soho tried to defend their action. RMN’s Michael Rogas tried to negotiate.

GMA News executive Jessica Soho admitted that after the August 23 hostage crisis, she and ABS-CBN news chief Maria Ressa became textmates. In fairness though, Ressa also tried to text TV5 news head Luchi Cruz-Valdez about the incident but she got disappointed when Luchi replied, “Hu u?”

Light Bites
Q: What has three heads, six legs and gives conflicting statements?
A: The Presidential Communications Group

Q: What has six legs, four eyes, and goes Ngoorkkzz?
A: A drunk executive secretary slumped on a chair
——————————-
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.”
– Kin Hubbard

Survey Says
Dapat bang pangalanan ni Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz ang high ranking officials na umano’y tumatanggap ng jueteng payola?
– OO! Now na! 84.23%
– HINDI! Trabaho ng DILG ‘yan! 5.18%
– Bahala s’ya. It’s up to him. 10.59%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

46 thoughts on “GRILLED”

  1. i don’t get it. when news execs/mediamen were questioned about the hostage taking incident they said nobody from the government told them to stop airing their coverage and that had government authorities told them, they would have obliged. when it was suggested that perhaps it was time to review media’s franchise and impose restrictions on broadcast (or print) of events such as the recent tragic incident, the same newsmen/media executives now claim that this is a curtailment of their freedom and insist on ‘self-regulation’. did they ‘self-regulate’ when the crisis was happening? can they assure the public that NPC can regulate its members? have they imposed sanctions or at the very least issued a statement admitting ethical lapses in the pursuit of their freedom to inform the public?

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  2. FYI:

    DILG Usec. Puno went to our station for an interview. guess what we discovered…

    Siya pala ang gumagamit ng SUV na dapat ay service ng DILG SECRETARY. Since nauna daw kasing i-appoint si Puno kaysa kay Robredo, kay Puno ibinigay ung service car.
    At puteeeeek, ang daming bodyguards at aides. Akala ko nga si Pres. Aquino ang darating.
    At eto pa, sa kanya pala binigay ni Pres. Noy ung isang sasakyan dati ni Tita Cory.
    Kaw na ang classmate sa shooting.

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      1. double wow! I voted for Noynoy but he should starting shaping-up, coz where i sit he may end up just like if not worst than GMA. It all begins and end with the kind of people he appoints.

        I will not regret voting for him, what I will lament on is the opportunity we are losing to make this country of ours better. Sigh!

        Kudos to PH for another insightful blog.

        Like

      2. WOW na WOW PH.

        sa radio station lang siya pupunta nun ha.
        OA ang bitbit na security escorts.

        Plus , he was also accompanied by his chief of staff and other (maybe 5 to 7) members of his staff. And i think, dalawa dun lawyers. FEELING isasalang sa senate hearing.

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  3. hay naku PH! kailangan ng miracle para matapos ang jueteng jueteng na yan! kung sa probinsya probinsya alam na nila mga opisyal na naghahawak ng jueteng wala nman nangyayari! hindi lumalabas sa imbestigasyon!

    kalokohan lang yan! hindi masusugpo ang jueteng!

    tataya ulit ako bukas! LOL

    Like

  4. hay naku, jueteng ina nating lahat… di pa pinaglilihi mga parents ni sabel, me jueteng na. pinaglumaan na ng siglo yan, hangga ngayon, paputak-putak si chicken inahin at pabatok-batok lang si bantay na alaga ni pepe en pilar (hu dey?) jueteng na ‘yan at jueteng pa ring tatanghalin! naka-embed na sa kulturang pinoy yan… how do you delete one’s culture? another deluge? whose homework is it ba para tuluyang mawala? sa tingin ko, it’s everybody’s task. ask poor mananayang si Na maria at Ma juan sa baryo namin, wala sila away sa jueteng na yan… paki nila kung me payola sina mayor at hepe.. basta me tama kami… me pambii na kami bigas! o hala, mahaba-habang inuman, para ma-solve yan!

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  5. cge lang, sana lang talaga masolve ni pnoy yan, so far puro porma pa lang admin nya, ung mga senate probe dati parang walang nangyayari, jueteng naman pangdistract nya ngayon hay…

    konti na lang mapapalitan na ang pinakamalakas na bansa, nagiging aggressive na ang china, or worse malapit na ang world war 3, san kaya tayo pupulutin pag nagkataon? kapit na naman sa malakas? mukhang imposible atang maging isa sa mga superpower ang Pilipinas ah…

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  6. ang hirap lang kasi intindihin ng pag-iisip ng tao,

    common sense lang naman na sa kahit anong klaseng

    sugal, mas malaki ang talo kaysa sa panalo, so, bakit

    pa magsusugal….

    except sa maka jackpot, kaya siguro ang mga tao ngayon,

    instead of praying for good health for example, ayun, nag

    pray na maka jackpot…

    Like

  7. Kakaiba talaga yang si Rico Puno, ngayon lang ako nakakita ng Undersecretary ng kahit anong sangay ng gobyerno na may “1st UnderSec Puno Invitational Shooting Tournament” ekek tapos may litrato pa niya sa Tarpaulin! Kapal muks! At san naman kaya nya kukunin ang mga premyo niya dito? Now I know!!!!

    Like

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