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CHICKEN CROSSING (2010 Edition)

5 09 2010


Why did the chicken cross the road? Here’s why according to some prominent people in politics, government, and entertainment:

President Noynoy Aquino: “Nahaharap ang manok sa isang sangandaan. Sa isang banda ay ang tuwid na daan. Sa kabilang banda ay ang baluktot na daan. Sa halip na lakarin ang isa sa mga daan, ang manok ay tumawid na lamang.”

Palace Spokesman Atty. Edwin Lacierda: “Whether the chicken crossed Times Street or Samar Street, or went straight to the Balay complex in Cubao is irrelevant. What’s important is the chicken has been doing its best for the chicks. This ‘crossing thing’ has been totally blown out of proportion by the media.”

DILG Secretary Jesse Robredo: “That’s a [traffic] police matter. My job is to focus on providing coop for the chicken.”

Communications Group Sec. Herminio Coloma: “Did the chicken cross the road? I seriously doubt it! Otherwise, the traffic enforcer would have noticed!”

Communications Group Sec. Ricky Carandang: “I confirm that the chicken crossed the road. But the traffic enforcer was not informed about it.”

Chief Supt. Rodolfo Magtibay: “Mayor Lim ordered it to cross!”

Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim: “Hindi pa kasi nanananghalian. Ayun, tumawid at naghanap ng pagkain. But no, I did not order the chicken to cross the road.”

Manila Vice Mayor Isko Moreno: “Hindi ko po alam. Nagulat nga rin ako kasi bigla na lang umesquierda!”

ABS-CBN News Head Maria Ressa: “The traffic policeman was not in control. Traffic police should lead. Chicken will follow.”

RMN’s Erwin Tulfo: “Put*ng-i*a kasi! Matigas ang ulo ng tarant*dong manok na ‘yan eh. ‘Buti ‘ka n’yo at ‘di nasagaan ang hay*p na ‘yan!”

GMA 7’s Mel Tiangco: “Mike, nakikita mo ba ang manok d’yan sa kinaroroonan mo? [Chicken appears then crosses the road] Buhay!!! Buhay Mike ang manok! Naku! Mukhang tatawid sa kalsada Mike! Pambihira! Tumawid na nga Mike!”

Executive Secretary Paquito “Jojo” Ochoa: “Sayang nga eh! ‘Di ko naabutan. Naghahanap pa naman kami ng pulutan!”

Human Rights Commissioner Coco Quisumbing: “What’s your question again? I can’t hear you! Ano?!? I said I can’t hear you. Hay naku! Tanungin mo na lang ako later sa CR. Tara, ‘don tayo. Kailangan ko pang mag-make up!”

Vice President Jejomar Binay: “Pasensya na. Nagmamadali kasi dahil may meeting pa ng araw na ‘yon.”

Pampanga Rep. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo: “The chicken did what is right, what is best, and so God took care of the rest (of its journey).”

Ilocos Sur Governor Chavit Singson: “Hindi naman talaga dapat tatawid ‘yan eh. So ang duda namin, na-set up lang.”

Former Agriculture Secretary Luis “Cito” Lorenzo: “To testify.”

Nacionalista Party: “According to its psychiatric evaluation report, the chicken was depressed.”

Sen. Panfilo Lacson: “Delikado ang daan, dapat lumipad na lang siya. Anyway, sa kaso naman ng manok, flight is not an indication of guilt eh.”

Comelec Commissioner Gregorio Larrazabal: “We’re happy to announce that the chicken crossed the road in an honest, peaceful, and orderly manner.”

Sarangani Rep. Manny Pacquiao: “You know.”

Willie Revillame: “Mamili kayo: ako o ‘yong manok?!?”

Kris Aquino: “To file a motion for the declaration of nullity of its marriage to the cock.”

James Yap: “Lahat ng iyan ay ginagawa ng manok para sa kanyang sisiw.”

Boy Abunda: “Kung ikaw ang naturang manok at bibigyan ka ng pagkakataong magsama ng isang hayop sa pagtawid, anong hayop ang isasama mo at bakit?”

Miss Universe 4th Runner Up Maria Venus Raj: “Thank you sir for that wonderful question. You know what sir, in the chicken’s 22 weeks of existence, I can say that it has got nothing major, major, I mean, crossing-related problem because it is confident. That’s why the chicken made it to the other side. So thank you, thank you so much!”

MWSS Executives: “Is that a bonus question?”
—————————–
“Don’t count your chickens before they cross the road.”
~Anonymous

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147 responses

5 09 2010
Mr. Hong

thanks PH! Last nite ko pa inaabangan ‘to.

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5 09 2010
rowlrowlrowl

best entry sakin yung sagot ni Venus.. hahaha nice PH!

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5 09 2010
Mr. Hong

brother of capt. mendoza: bakit nyo ginaganuon ang manok? walang kasalanan ang manok! bakit nyo kailangan patawirin?

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8 09 2010
WILMA SANTOS

Brother of Mendoza: Hoy manok huwag na huwag kang tatawid hanggang hindi nila sinosole ang baril ko!

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5 09 2010
BrianB

You should win a National Artist award. First class satire and parody.

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5 09 2010
Anonymous

asus, masyadong ambisyoso mga fanatics dito!!!! National Artist Award?????
Nakupo, alam nyo ba ang ibig sabihin non? Wag magmagaling pls lang!!!

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5 09 2010
professionalheckler

hahaha! come on. they’re just heckling ME. relax. besides you have a choice. if you find it excruciating to read my posts, bukas po ang pinto.

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5 09 2010
Alquanna

Kung si Caparas nga nanalo ng National Artist eh, si Professional Heckler pa kaya?

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6 09 2010
professionalheckler

bwahahhaahahhahahahaah! tigilan na natin ang award-award na yan kahit alam nating isang malaking joke dahil may mga sumiseryoso at nagagalit. isa lang ang gusto kong award: Los Angeles Lakers Loyalty Award

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6 09 2010
Mayor_Lim

Ingit lang yan…kis-kis mo sa pader at mawawala din yan!

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6 09 2010
Lola Nila

ayan madam or mr anonymous, sabi ni PH bukas daw ang pinto…. parang vintage na kanta.. ” I ran to the door, but where’s the door? where is tomorrow for someone like me…”

ang asar, talo! sabi ni madam e… 😀

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7 09 2010
kalokah

create your own blog or find other blog.

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5 09 2010
JAmes

2nd?yehey

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5 09 2010
jaylen

panalo na naman ‘to…^^

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5 09 2010
Tes Aniceto

Since this morning I’m in a bad mood kasi nawawala yung cam ko, kahit saglit lang napatawa ako ng blog mo. I always read your blog and share it on Facebook and I am your follower on Twitter. Thank you for the good laugh! Keep it up=)

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5 09 2010
professionalheckler

i hope you feel better now. 🙂

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5 09 2010
Lola Nila

Panalo ang post mo PH, lalo na kay:

GMA 7’s Mel Tiangco: “Mike, nakikita mo ba ang manok d’yan sa kinaroroonan mo? [Chicken appears then crosses the road] Buhay!!! Buhay Mike ang manok! Naku! Mukhang tatawid sa kalsada Mike! Pambihira! Tumawid na nga Mike!”

—-
Aling Mel na Aling Mel tlaga!!!! 😀 😀 😀 😀

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6 09 2010
phoenix

Para ko ngang naririnig ang hysterical na boses ni Mel. Ano ba nangyayari sa mga newscasters natin, aren’t they supposed to be passive and impartial in delivering the news?

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6 09 2010
etchosera

Di na ako nagtataka kung bakit ganyan ang Tita Mel Tiangco!

Try mo rin kayang humarap ng 24 Oras kay MIKE ENRIQUEZ, pustahan tayo, sigurado akong maghi-“historical” ka rin!

Ahah ahah ahah!

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7 09 2010
Lola Nila

sa totoo lang wala kang itulak-kabigin sa mga newscaster natin, dpt sa kanila itulak na lang at mag-retiro lahat. Lahat puro mga ndi kaaya-aya ang face value at mga boses…

khit good news ang i-report nila para pa ring bad news dhil yung mga kara nila…not counted as in disaster!!! 😀

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7 09 2010
Broking

Pakinggan niyo pa si Ted Failon!! Kainais magnewscast!!! (pero di ako kapuso ha?)

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7 09 2010
Broking

Pakinggan niyo pa si Ted Failon! Kainis magnewscast! (pero di ako kapso ha?)

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5 09 2010
callmepogo

Haha. Good one! Nakakatawa talaga. Kaso nakakalubgkot din kasi totoo. Ibig sabihin nakakatawa talaga ang gobyerno.

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5 09 2010
amateur heckler

Miss Gloria Diaz: “The chicken crossed the road because she needed an interpreter. Have you ever wondered why the bisaya chicken say ‘toktoga-ok’ while the tagalog chicken say ‘tiktilaok’ and the english chicken say ‘cock-a-doodle-doo’? An interpreter is a must”.

Amateur Heckler:”Mayweather crossed the road?”

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5 09 2010
etchosera

opo.

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5 09 2010
esa

Nice one Mr. PH. I noticed that Gen. Versoza didn’t answer the question. I thought VP Binay’s answer would be that of Gen. Versoza’s. Sorry, I was not aware that VP Binay uttered something to that effect wrt hostage-taking. I noticed though that he was called in during a press conference of palace officials 1 or 2 days after the hostage-taking incident.

Have a blessed Sunday.

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5 09 2010
alfred

hehehe i thought the Chicken cross the road to attend mass. So that the chicken could figure out where the tuwid na daan actually ends. Keep cackling TPH

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5 09 2010
esa

P.S. to my previous comment Mr. PH. —or is the answer of VP Binay what could be considered “vintage Binay”…something that can be identified to him like the answer of Willie Revillame, Boy Abunda, Sen. Ping Lacson, Chavit Singson, Manny Pacquiao, Venus Raj (not really vintage but will soon become one). If so, I am not familiar talaga.

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8 09 2010
etchosera

Pansin ko lang ‘Teh…… parang me namumuong obsession ka kay Vintage Binay. Masyado mong nililimi ang kung ano mang sinusulat ni PH tungkol kay VP Binay.

Kung sabagay, di naman kasalanan yan at di rin kita masisisi, ang guwapo guwapo naman kasi ………….

ng BODYGUARD NYA!!

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5 09 2010
Mr. Hong

The MWSS answer brought the house down.

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5 09 2010
JR Lopez Gonzales

You had me on the “Bonus Question”. Great one, PH!

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8 09 2010
WILMA SANTOS

I second the motion, this is very funny, and witty!

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5 09 2010
nah

hindi na nakakatawa ang blog mo loi… alam mo isa kang as___le! bakit kamo, kontrol mo ang mga comments dito, dami mong hindi ina approve na comments lalo pro-admin., bakit nagkakapera ka ba ph? napapansin ko lahat ng comments dito puro batikos sa administrasyon, nagbago na ba ang ihip ng hangin?

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5 09 2010
professionalheckler

i respect your opinion. but NO, i do not censor pro-admin comments. please… SUBSTANTIATE your claim na “kino-kontrol” ko ang mga pro-admin comments.

what i moderate are personal comments of a reader against another reader. why not POST your pro-admin comments? let’s see kung totoong cini-censor ko. masaya ako kapag maraming nagco-comment at wala sa ‘kin kung pro or anti-admin man ‘yon.

another thing… hindi dahil nagbago na ang administrasyon, magbabago na rin ang tema ng blog na ito. The Professional Heckler will not be a mouthpiece of anyone be it pro- or anti-admin. May iba nang gumagawa niyan. ‘Yung iba nga, kumikita pa sa pagtatanggol sa magkabilang panig.

Magsusulat at magsusulat ako batay sa naoobserbahan ko sa aking paligid.

You want to read articles that would heap praises on the administration? Hindi ka mauubusan. Marami sila d’yan.

Salamat sa iyong pagbabasa. ‘Balik ka.

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5 09 2010
LIVINGSAINT

wow, yan na ang pinakamahabang reply i have ever read from you, PH!

To that person calling PH an @$$hole, put up your own blog! Anong paki mo kung “nagbago na ang ihip ng hangin”? It is the discretion of the writer to write what he wants to write! If PH’s writing pisses the hell out of you, don’t visit this site.

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5 09 2010
professionalheckler

and it’s my first time to be called an a**hole. sabi ko nga sa twitter, so cool! ganun pala ang feeling. pakiramdam ko, ang tangkad-tangkad ko. i love democracy!

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5 09 2010
promdi

good take, ph! di ka napipikon, otherwise wala ka panalo, sabi nga ni edu (soon!), asar, talo! he he. wala me itulak-kabig sa lahat ng chicken na pinarada mo today. equally superb, major, major LOL silang lahat…! pag di ka natawa… talo! uuyyy, amininnn! by the way, ngayon lang naging positive ang dating sa akin ng… ass–le! hahaha. Congrats. keep it up!

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5 09 2010
Alquanna

Kung totoong may censorship nga, dapat hindi naipost yang comment na yan, diba? xD

May ilang comments na rin ako dito na hindi na-approve. Walang personalan dun, nagbabasa pa rin naman ako at nagcocomment xD Moderator din dati ako ng ilang messageboards na mas strict pa dito – tipong sabihin mo lang na ********, eh hindi na nga approved ang post mo banned ka pa for at least a week – kaya naiintindihan ko ang need for moderation lalo na sa blog na ito na satire at may potential na mauwi ang usapan sa murahan na lang.

Besides, yung moderation control for WordPress, hindi nandyan lang for censorship; pang-control yan just in case may spam na nakakalusot sa Akismet or whatever.

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6 09 2010
kaye

huwaw. a**hole. parang biatch lang. haha!

lighten up, nah. you’re not paying PH a single centavo, so why are you questioning his ways? kahit di naman parepareho ang galaw ng utak ng mga tao dito at may disagreements, ok lang. if you really read, you will see that there are still so many pro-admin people here, and they slug it out with those who are not pro-admin, at wala namang problema. Kung meron man, asaran lang. 😉

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7 09 2010
Broking

Bakit tumawid ang chicken? Para mangheckle! “Ang asar talo!”

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7 09 2010
JR Lopez Gonzales

@nah:

Hahaha.
You want anti-admin articles?
Para walang away, you can read my blog entries.

http://www.jrgon.blogspot.com

Relax lang nah.

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5 09 2010
timpaul

Why did the chicken…? Nah-Dahil hindi na nakakatawa ang blog ni loi…

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6 09 2010
kaye

LOL. sumikat si Nah, may sarili na siyang quote. 😉

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5 09 2010
ka7e7

For me the mere fact na pabalik balik ako sa blog na to it means naaaliw ako. Di ako nag babasa ng blog na boring at di nakakatawa at di narin ako mag popost pa ng comment kung wala din namang kwenta ang blog site dahil sayang lang ang panahon ko.

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5 09 2010
Mr. Hong

wow! PH being called an A-hole.

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6 09 2010
Lola Nila

it’s an honor. lalo na sa amin d2 sa Saudi, pag-maganda ang as***le mo tyak yayaman ka at pwede mo ng padalhan ng sangkatutak ng gold si mudra sa pinas! at tyak sa sasabihin ni mader, “salamat may anak akong maganda ang as***le!!!” 😀 😀

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5 09 2010
etchosera

@ nah,

This once, I will english you! I no need interpreter! Ahah ahah ahah!

Pusangi Nah, let me remind you that this is PH’s blog and not yours.
He’s got all the right to or not to approve comments………………………… and you know what?

YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

One mores ‘Teh Kris….. … Ahah ahah ahah!

Galing ko talaga mag-english, no?

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6 09 2010
♥Koolitskee♥

Ahaha! love it!

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8 09 2010
WILMA SANTOS

tigilan nyo na si NAH. ang pumatol sa pikon eh mas pikon. ang pumatol sa tanga eh mas . . .

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5 09 2010
achu

The person is attacking The Professional Heckler primarily because he/she can’t defend the favored personality (administration) neither thru solid arguments nor witty remarks.
Oh well, TPH is famous. He’s got his own set of critics now (though I’m not so sure if the Nah person qualifies). 🙂

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6 09 2010
Paul

At the moment he is indefensible unless the defender does a blame reassignment.

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6 09 2010
DEL

Ang ASAR, TALO, hahaha.

Wag kang pumunta dito kung pikon ka. Ako nga, supporter ng previous admin, pero di ako napipikon dun sa mga banat ni PH. Mas malala pa.

Umalis ka dito uy! Penot-nuts, bwahaha

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6 09 2010
Paul

Its all criticism because this government has not shown anything yet worthy of phrase and our taxes. Praise is only given to the deserving.

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7 09 2010
Paul

If only in the last two months, he jailed two biggest smugglers, reduced the number of Abads in the government, give Luiisita back to the tillers, launched a capability building program for PAGASA and presented a coherent RH program, I would be singing praises everyday

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7 09 2010
etchosera

I got your point and I agree wholeheartedly.

Isa lang ang bumabagabag sa aking kamalayan sa tinuran mong yan…….

DI BA SINTUNADO KA?

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7 09 2010
Jane

Hear hear.

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5 09 2010
iamKoalaBoy

Nice blog again PH. Huwag mo na lang pansinin ang pag aksayahan ng panahon ang mga makitid ang utak. 1 rotten reader out of so many thousands you’ve entertained ain’t bad. Well you can’t please eveyone.

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5 09 2010
stalker

ang bait bait ni PH inaaway nyo! hehehe pikon lang talaga apektado sa mga blog mo PH. let them be que sira sira.

PS – di kaya taga RMN yun tumawag ng as_le sa iyo PH? 😛

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7 09 2010
Broking

Baka yung nagmamakeup. Tingin ko yun yung pinakapikom. Highblood na highblood sa maliit na bagay. Ha ha ha ha!!!

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5 09 2010
jo

Isa kang Henyo. Wag mo na patulan ang iba dyan na di naiintindihan ang konseptong “satire”.

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5 09 2010
chihuahua

i’d say the chicken that crossed the road was one head-less chicken. tawid lang ng tawid, walang direksyon, parang administrasyon 😦

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5 09 2010
towardstheflow

Keep it up!!!!!Love your articles and ignore the negative comments!!!!One of your avid followers….

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5 09 2010
eufems

Likes so much the entries, lalo kay Tita Mel at kay Venus :))

Fomer policeman Rolando Mendoza: “A big mistake to correct a big wrong decision.”

former Vice President Noli de Castro: “Bakit tatawid pa kung pwede namang magka-pugad na?”

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6 09 2010
kaye

LOL. You certainly missed these, PH.

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7 09 2010
mel

Conrado de Quiros: The chicken crossed the road because it was EDSA masquerading as that road.

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7 09 2010
etchosera

WOW! Di nga?

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5 09 2010
lee

hindi na daw kakataw blog mo. then why the f*ck am I still laughing out loud???

Your biggest fan ( 5’9″ 260 lbs)

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5 09 2010
flor

im a fan reader of PH….ewan lang sa mga walang sense jan!hahaha….

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5 09 2010
achu

Masyadong serious nman yung taong yun mr. ph. Natamaan yata ng matindi sa mga naisulat mo sa nakaraang blog entries…masyadong affected eh. Chill lng dapat. 🙂

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5 09 2010
Intey

to each his own, bato-bato sa langit, ang tinamaan ay may bukol 🙂 ganun lang yun. keep it up PH

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5 09 2010
Edik

asshole ba pag nag moderate ng comments gaya ng ginawa ni Noynoy sa facebook nya?

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6 09 2010
♥Koolitskee♥

I didn’t know he has one. ma-search nga. nang makita ko din kung anung mga pino-post nya ehehe. bka pwede ding makapag-suggest kung anung makakabuti para sa administrasyon nya? Baka bawal mag comment or reply, puro flag. ehehehe

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6 09 2010
DEL

di asshole na rin si noynoy kung ganun, niyahaha!

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6 09 2010
sam

del,

braindead as$^0&e si noynoy. tingnan mo naman cya sa mga footage nya, mukhang d nya alam na presidente na cya.

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6 09 2010
phoenix

agree! Pnoy is an asshole a thousand times over dahil libo-libong comments ang minoderate sa FB account niya.

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6 09 2010
darkcheron

Wahahaha sapul! Love it!

My respect goes to the a*hole rather than the ass-kisser! At least the a*hole got guts which is clearly what is lacking in the administration. No one would own up to their fault so there’s plenty (if not all) of finger-pointing going on.

Besides, simple lang naman yan. Ika-nga ng kasabihan:
“If you can’t take the heat, get the hell out of the kitchen!”

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5 09 2010
mel

ep*l naman nun. he doesn’t get the point of this blog, so he might as well not visit.

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5 09 2010
phoenix

If you’re one of the 15 million who voted Pnoy president, hindi ka nga dapat matawa. You should bury your head in shame! Shame on you nan!

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6 09 2010
farah

ahahah! the best yong sagot ni pacman…

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6 09 2010
♥Koolitskee♥

I couldn’t more agree! ahahaha!

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6 09 2010
jorp

hahaha I love MEL TIANGCO’S and VENUS RAJ’s answers
LOL

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6 09 2010
epoy

mr. ph, that was a perfect response to a very inappropriate comment by nah. di talaga dapat patulan ang ganyang mga tao.

i discovered your blog last month and became quite a fan. i used to visit just one blog, now i read yours regularly, too. i read a couple of archived posts everyday, para may daily dose of laughter ako:) salamat sa pagpapatawa!

Like

8 09 2010
WILMA SANTOS

amen to that! I’ve been following this blog for over a year now, without fail I read PH everyday or every blog. I most certainly appreciate the effort in every blog, well crafted, witty, current and to the point. Ouch! Bato bato sa langit, ang tamaan eh tumawa na lang. Walang pikonan.

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6 09 2010
mommy

YOur posts really lightens up our day PH! Loved congressman’s Paquiao’s and Tita Mel’s answer the most!

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6 09 2010
BAROK

Unless this new administration do the right thing…PH will always have a mountain of materials/source to write on his blog.

Kaya kayong mga iniluklok at mga pinili ni PNOY na mamuno, magtino kayo kung ayaw nyong maging tampulan dito sa blog site na ito!

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6 09 2010
senior60

nah, akala mo lang yang lahat na nasa isip mo pero ang

the truth and nothing but, hindi na umarangkada mga

pro administration commenters/tors dahil ano naman ang

maipagmalaki nila kay noynoy, up to this moment ha, wala

lang, para lang talaga naglalaro ang lahat sa gobierno…

by the way, hindi ka kaya si religiousboy/girl?

basta ako, around three times that my posts did not see print,

yun yung mga batian portions ko hahaha

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6 09 2010
senior60

mister heckler, bitin naman ang kay noynoy, saan ba

sya patungo? sa purgatory?

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6 09 2010
promdi

sa pagharap ng chicken sa sangang-daan, tumawid na lamang sya dahil mabagal mag-isip ang mga handlers niya kung sa tama o tuwid na daan o dun sa baluktot sya lalarga. finally, he decided, or was he was told to finally cross na lang, sabay sabi na “i take responsibiity for what happenedi” pagkatapos na ng labing-isang araw na nangyari ang show of force (-ful ineptitutde!). The Philippine Star has a telling editorial today. To quote some…… “Thus, of what practical and meaningful benefit will Mr. Aquino’s owning up responsibility for the hostage fiasco do now, 11 days after it was needed? At this late moment in time, it only serves to underscore a damning insincerity, coming as it does as a clear afterthought.

If the intention is an attempt at damage control, please do not do it at the expense of the people’s intelligence. Did Mr. Aquino and his handlers really believe the Filipinos will buy any crocodile tears and belated breast-beating?” Amen.

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6 09 2010
promdi

correction: freeman opinion pala ini editorial… that’s philstar’s cebu based news arm…

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6 09 2010
khanto

natawa ako sa comment na di na daw nakakatawa mga sinusulat dito.

for me hindi pro at hindi anti ang owner ng blog.

@topic, akala ko ung kay boy abunda, ipapalabas ang magic mirror nia. :p

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6 09 2010
promdi

me humabol na chicken, kasama ang kanyang mga sisiw, taga swat pala sila: censya na, nag-hearing pa kasi kami. nahirapan kami nung lumusob, wala kami gear, kasi defective! he he. defective gear or defective… sense of urgency, system, and strategy!

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6 09 2010
etchosera

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ayyyyyy! Tama po ba reaction ko?

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6 09 2010
kaye

LOL @ Erwin Tulfo and Mel Tiangco. sobrang in character. pati pagmumura ni Erwin, at ang pagiging hysterical ni mel tiangco, kuhang kuha.

I also already anticipated Jojo Ochoa’s answer. hehehe. as for Boy Abunda, sana ginamit niya ang mahiwagang salamin. 😀

MWSS’ bonus question is the best!

at sana may part 2 pa ito…absent sina mar and korina. isali na rin sana ang mga presidential candidates na natalo sa eleksyon. they might have something to say about the chicken, too. 😉

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7 09 2010
esa

Sayang, I didn’t catch that “hysterical” one by Mel Tiangco. I was watching ABS-CBN TV Patrol but when they were airing live the brother’s arrest, I tried to see what was happening on the other channels (TV5 ang GMA 7), nagpalipat-lipat ako. What I observed though was the unusually calm way of reporting by Mike Enriquez. Sabi ko, buti naman at di iyong dati niyang for SHOW na excitable voice ang ginamit niya that Aug.23. Otherwise, nakadagdag siya sa kaba ng mga manonood.

Sa totoo lang, this particular blog post is really funny as it satirizes comments/issues of some known people/entities in the news that are identified with them. Natawa talaga ako re MWSS, Manny Pacquiao, the 3 stooges -Lacierda, Coloma, Carandang.

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6 09 2010
Lynda Jumilla

basta ako natawa ng bonggang-bongga — or major-major, sabi nga ni ms venus raj. pati dun sa previous post (faction, faction).

btw, heckler, hanap ka ni ES ochoa 😉

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6 09 2010
professionalheckler

hahahha! feeling ko nga siya yung tumawag sa king a*hole. 🙂

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6 09 2010
sam

PH panal0 tlga mga posts mo…..waiting pa rin ako sa blind item mo..sino ang actress/ singer ksma nun ochoa?

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6 09 2010
mbw

I voted for PNoy hahaha!!! But I find your satire, PH, so revealing of the human foibles around! Ano siya, Diyos? Ang lalakas lang ng karmang dumarating sa kanya and dapat ngang basahin pa nga niya ang blog na ito para matauhan! Aber? Sabi nga niya nun na ayaw niya sanang tumakbo…napilitan llang dahil sa dami ng gusto siyang tumakbo!

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6 09 2010
professionalheckler

to quote rg cruz of abscbn: dapat hangaan si pnoy for taking the cudgels for his men

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6 09 2010
maxlip

PH, his “taking the cudgels for his men” is too late the hero. IMO.

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6 09 2010
Paul

Apparently everything looks yellow to the jaundiced eye

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6 09 2010
religiousboy

@senior60 — Fyi may mga ka-readers ka dito na naloloko/ka na sa kahuhula kung sino ako talaga. Nanghuhuli parang ikaw. E butas din naman ang lambat para yung iyo. Please get your act together di ba magkaka-tropa kayo? You know. Kung yung isa ay si madame auring, teka, ano naman kya ang magandang itawag sa iyo? Ah, alam ko na, feeling-feeling! Di ba ikaw yun? Meantime, magdusa ka muna ng husto. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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7 09 2010
eddibumangon

religiousboy,

Ako hindi naghuhula, I’m positive 101% na ikaw ay isang DARNA!

Sabi naman sayo, masaya dito sa labas. Ikaw rin, baka iipisin ka na dyan sa loob ng iyong closet. 🙂

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6 09 2010
marcela bato

congrats mr. ph!! napaka fertile ng isip mo! sana lang yung mga pikon at di kaya yung nasa blog mo, e wag na lang magbasa. sa hirap ba naman ng buhay e di pa tayo tatawa, samantalang libre naman ang pagtawa courtesy of mr. ph. wag na nating dagdagan pa mga wrinkles natin sa pamamagitan ng pagsisimangot. it will not help to make us beautiful and to lighten our burden.

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6 09 2010
topdog

A CHICKEN CROSSING QUIRINO GRANDSTAND:
“Mabuti pa dito, hindi ako ginagawang Chicken Joy”

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7 09 2010
etchosera

Hay naku, seryosong seryoso ka na naman diyan, topdog!

Pwede ba…….magpatawa ka naman?

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6 09 2010
karaangbugoy

In that case senior60, he might be going nowhere. Maraming tao ang naniniwalang walang purgatoryo.

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6 09 2010
Sonny

The best ko yung ke Chavit, napaluha ako sa tawa… LOL..

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6 09 2010
Gab

Nice one!!! Di buo ang linggo, pag di ako nakaka visit dito sa blog mo!!!

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6 09 2010
♥Koolitskee♥

“RMN’s Erwin Tulfo: “Put*ng-i*a kasi! Matigas ang ulo ng tarant*dong manok na ‘yan eh. ‘Buti ‘ka n’yo at ‘di nasagaan ang hay*p na ‘yan!”” – Ahahaha! tawang-tawa ko dito eh, anak ng nanay na di mapa-anak, kuhang-kuha! ahahahahaha!

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6 09 2010
willa

That’s good Mr Heckler bless those hu curse u. People come to dis site for dose of laughter. If they cant find anything funny they shud just shut up their mouths or dont read d blogs. God bless us all.

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6 09 2010
Rosita

I love your blog. Laughter is the best medicine kaya lang napasobra yata ang katatawa ko lalo na sa parte ng ‘bonus question’. Totoo kaya yong sabi nila na ang madaling mapikon ay mababaw daw ang puwit???

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6 09 2010
professionalheckler

i also love that “bonus question” item. ayan, nagbuhat na ko ng sariling bangko. ;-=)

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6 09 2010
lolaganda

I always look forward to read your blog. You make my day !!!

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6 09 2010
qwertyatty

Hala… Ngayon ko lang nabasang tinawag kang *******! Hindi kasi ako masyadong nagbabasa ng comments…

Pero tinututukan ko blog mo… Kulang ang araw ko sa opisina nang hindi ko chine-check kung may bagong blog entry ka na o wala pa… Hehe…

Asteeg kasi eh… Kahit na paulit-ulit lang yung mga punto, nagagawa mo pa rin kaming patawanin…

Hindi below-the-belt ang mga jokes mo… Tsaka kahit na seryoso ang topic, napapangiti mo pa rin kami nang wala kang nasasaktang personalidad…

Keep it up, PH… Manalo ka sana ulet sa Philippine Blog Awards this year! Wish you all the best!

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6 09 2010
eddibumangon

Ako, maraming banat kay religiousboy(?) ang hindi pinalusot ni Mr. PH. Kahit naughty lang naman ang mga iyon at hindi talagang bastos, di na ako nagreklamo. 😦

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6 09 2010
etchosera

Me too, Koya Eddi, I hab also comments censor by PH but I am also no reclaim because I agree with PH……….. that my English bitter than his!

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7 09 2010
kaye

hahaha! etchosera strikes again! 😉 wagi ka talaga, etchos!

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6 09 2010
maxlip

Anong kagulohan ang meron dito???
Ay NAH-ku poh… gutom lang yan.
parang familiar yung tono mo, ikaw ba si ******? Ahah ahah ahah!

Anyways, ipagpatuloy mo lang ang pagsusulat PH, marami kang napatawa at isa na ako.

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6 09 2010
Mr. Hong

UP Basketball Squad : we don’t need a chicken, we’ve been laying eggs since the start of the season..

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7 09 2010
Thel from Florida

Classy ka talaga PH! Thank you for being so brilliant and funny.
There would always be one who is contrabida so huwag na lang pansinin.
Bless your good heart always PH. Thank you very kindly for this blog.

NAHiinis ako kay nah dahil sobrang killjoy.

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7 09 2010
virex

im sorry… i cannot get this post.. im an avid reader of this blog.. even before pa.. kaso im not in the philippines and im somewhere close to it, but somewhere na inde masyadong madami ang pinoy..

can i be a KJ and ask you to give me an idea on what this post is about??

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7 09 2010
kaye

hmmm…you have to do some backreading then.

but FYI, a lot are still connected with the recent hostage-taking incident which resulted to the killing of 8 hostaged Hong Kong tourists and the hostage-taker himself. Still, some are just about how the usual popular personalities would interpret the chicken’s crossing. 😉

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7 09 2010
virex

i was able to read the posts prior to this.. what i dont get is the chicken.. anyway, i’ll read it again nalang.. thanks po

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7 09 2010
etchosera

Sabi mo avid reader ka ng blog na ito, pero di mo talaga ma-gets?

Sa lagay na yan ‘Teh, di pa ba obvious sayo na para sa mga matatalino lang ang blog na ito?

Joke joke joke! Ahah ahah ahah!

Wag kang KJ!

Like

7 09 2010
virex

sorry naman teh, low iq lang ako.. pinagpapawisan na nga ako kakaisip kung anu yung chicken eh.. di bale, ipapabasa ko sa mga matatalino to, tapos ipapa interpret ko nalang.. ay wait lang, ala pala akong matatalinong friends..

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7 09 2010
anon

the chicken went to the emerald restaurant for corn. the chicken does not use the restaurant for meetings with chinese triads, or its drug pushing chick.

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7 09 2010
achu

just want to share:
Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace?
Calvin: Too few role models.
#calvinandhobbes

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7 09 2010
hikatalomato

kung si pinocchio ay humahaba ang ilong pagnagsisinungaling, si maria ressa naman ay dumadami and tinea flava ☻☻☻

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7 09 2010
amateur heckler

willie revillame: pag alam ng manok na may kakayahan siya at maraming naniniwala sa talent niya, tatawid siya. marami namang pwedeng puntahan ang manok at duon mangingitlog. tumawid ang manok at nakasportscar pa. pati dagat pwedeng tawirin ng manok kahit isama pa ang mga sisiw dahil dalawa ang yatch niya. ang manok na nangingitlog ng ginto ay hindi dapat ilagay sa freezer hanggang 2011.

abs-cbn: tumawid ang manok sa maling pagaakala na wala siyang tali. tumawid ang manok pero hindi makakarating sa paroroonan niya. chickens come and go but the chicken coop is an institution!

joey d leon: ang manok tumawid dahil mayabang at akala niya na may pupuntahan siya sa kabilang daan. hindi ba niya alam na may mabangis na leon doon?

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7 09 2010
etchosera

Totoo nga pong lahat yan! Sa katunayan nga po eh nakita nga raw po si Kris at si Mayor Junjun sa Makati.

Ayyyy! Ano na nga po ba ang tanong nyo?

Like

7 09 2010
promdi

hahaha; tuwa ako sa ‘yo echos, ne! hindi ka inconsistent; at lalong di ka irrelevant… di ka nawawala sa sarili! mukhang nagiging relevant ka nang pinoy. yun bang larawan ng naghahalu-halong culture. hahaha . para kang chicken ni sisa (ni manong pepe rizal ko), habang tumatawid bumubulong-bulong sa makinis-magaspang-malubak-pantay na daan,: “ako’y may dalawang anak, si basilio at si crispin, subalit… napakadilim ng gabi!”. o di bah, kuhang-kuha mo? walang ganyan sa ibang blog huh? this really is one of a kind! raj! raj! raj!

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7 09 2010
senior60

religiousboy/girl, ano? ako magdusa?

mag comment ka doon sa topic for the last two weeks na,
huwag mong ibahin ang topic….

Like

8 09 2010
religiousboy

senior60 –yup. Magdusa ka sa pangbibintang mo at mga haka-haka mo tungkol sa akin at sa ibang sumusulat dito. Di mo ba nabasa kung sino ang suspetsa ni PH? Dahil diyan, isang sampal iyan sa iyo kaya dapat madala ka na sa pangbibintang mo, okay? Tsura mong utusan mo pa kong mag-review ng blog 2 weeks ago? Hooooy, di kagaya mo, HINDE lang ito ang buhay ko noh? Mas mabuti pang basahin paulit-ulit ang Wuthering Heights at Canterbury Tales kesa patulan ka. Hmmmmph!

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7 09 2010
senior60

karaangbugoy, count mister heckler in, doon sa mga

hindi naniniwala, pero si noynoy ay isang sarado catolico

kaya, malamang, nandoon talaga sya…

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7 09 2010
hikatalomato

kung si pinocchio ay humahaba ang ilong pagnagsisinungaling, si:

mike enriquez, lumalaki ang butas ng ilong
mel tiangco, kumukulubot ang mukha
karen davila, mamumuo ang plema sa lalamunan
ted etong, nangangati ang trigger finger
gas abelgas, inaantok
julius babao, naglalaho ang upper gum (just like cristy fermin)
pnoy, nalalagas ang buhok
loren legarda, walang epek, immune na kasi

Like

7 09 2010
melo

Natawa ako dun,hikatalomato!!

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8 09 2010
WILMA SANTOS

Mikee Arroyo: Kaya tumawid ang manok ay dahil wala ng wang-wang. That’s the problem with this government, they think that governance is just the removal of wang-wang.

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8 09 2010
dabawenya!

here’s some kind of email that must be going around especially in relations to your new survey: (now whether you’re going to approve this or not…it’s your blog it’s your discretion – thanks)

To the Hongkong and PRC People:

You hate the Filipino people for the hostage fiasco that unfortunate incident that went out of control at the end. This was a hostage situation that was under control and which netted 7 Chinese tourists to be released upon the efforts of our policemen.

You appear and sound sanctimonious and have even stepped upon our sovereignty. You have demanded apology, the moon and the heavens. You hate the Filipino people as if we wanted this unfortunate incident to happen. First and foremost, we offer our condolences to the families of the 8 that were killed in this incident. Secondly, we are sorry for the bungled handling of this hostage taking. It was unfortunate, it was an accident, we never planned it that way. Is it fair to blame a whole nation for a situation that was never planned?

Let me ask you this question, “Should we hate you also for the lead poisoning caused by the paint you used in your baby furniture and toys for the children of the world, Should we hate you also for the use of cardboard in the “siopao” that you sell to tourists? Should we hate you also for the melamine contamination wherein not 8, but hundreds, maybe even thousands have suffered and some even died?

Or, let us talk of Filipino casualties. A few years ago, 3 Filipino tourists, all surnamed Madrigal, a family of 5 were walking on Tienemen Square and Beijing . One Chinese stabbed the father and two of his children, killing all three. Were you even sorry for what this one Chinese did? Did the Filipino people even demand that China apologized for this unfortunate incident. This was PRE-MEDITATED MURDER.

Just as the use of lead, cardboard, melamine was pre-meditated – used because they were cheaper materials, in order to generate PROFITS for the Chinese businessman. Did you pay damages the same way you are demanding damages from the Filipino nation and people.

Where was the anger of the Chinese and Hongkong people? Did you even apologize to the world? My God in the case of melanine, you even kept this information from the world, until you were exposed for what you are!!!

Enough! We symphatize but don’t blame the Filipino people.

So you want to send our OFWs home, that take care of your children? They play an important part in your lives. Both spouses are able to work, earn money because of the tender loving care being heaped on your children by Filipino maids and yayas/amahs. While you pay our OFWs for the work they do, you earn more for the love and care they bestow on your children. Go ahead, send our OFWs home. Let us see how that will affect your family incomes.

Enough!

Pass this to all Filipinos you know. If you love your country, perhaps you’ll send this.

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8 09 2010
raymund

well said.
someone with passion and insight.
you are right not to kowtow. the chinese are exploiting this
situation politically so they make philippines even more beholden to them

have you thought why and how there was such a big demonstration in hk.

the chinese master plan of a greater china demands that the neighbouring countries see them as master and themselves as servants – a bit like the ofw relationship, and if something is done they dont like then they are to be admonished just like an ofw. the long term strategy is clear but i dont think p-noy understands strategy or international relations. philippines just a pawn

stand up for independence and identity or everyone will be singing to the tune of beeijing and buying even more
face whitening products as they try to become chinese. be filipino

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8 09 2010
raymund

love it.

a few more

shalani: to find a real boyfriend

ochoa: because i am too drunk to walk a straight line

kris aquino: to have something to say on twitter

singson: to sell some corn. no, i retract that. someone put corn in my underpants when i was not looking. i dont feel well. justice delayed may give me a chance for daddy to buy my freedom

vp binay: to look for chicks, but dont tell the wife

lim: to go to my office, i mean the emerald restaurant

guttierrez: i wont answer that on the grounds it may incriminate me

poison dwarf (gma) : i wont answer that because i answer to noone

pacman : i cant answer that because i dont understand the question

p-noy: i cant make a decision which side i want to be on

caradang: i will answer it next week, and get it wrong

pia cayetano: because i like to bee seen everywhere

boy abunda: i go both ways

mendoza: to take the bus

robredo: because this side of the street is not my responsibility

romulo: because i want to move on

enrile: i work both sides against the middlke

kris aquino: because this is my night job

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14 09 2010
Dre

he he he

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8 09 2010
Baidu

Sir Ph nice entry..

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8 09 2010
Super Balentong

LOL!!!!

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8 09 2010
iroppoi

the chicken said:
ayaw ko ng tumawid,
kc baka gawin akong pulutan
sa emerald.
parang ung pinsan kong si
pecking duck!!!

Like

9 09 2010
dantonremoto

very shrewd and very funny. and ain’t i glad i did not join this government. nakakaloka.

Like

28 10 2010
Myster E

ito ay isa na namang naglalagablab at makremang blog post ni PH (tinggggg!!!!) hindi kulay BEYOLET para sa mga BERGOW (Virgo)!!!

meeeehhhhhh ganoooon?!?!?! 😀

parang Tweetbiz lang LOL

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