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STORMS

15 07 2010


HOURS AFTER a storm hit Metro Manila, President Noynoy Aquino stormed PAGASA.

President Aquino berated PAGASA officials Wednesday morning for their failure to accurately predict that typhoon “Basyang” would hit Metro Manila Tuesday night. Mr. Aquino was further incensed when one of the forecasters replied, “Sorry po Pangulong Arroyo.”

An upset President Aquino berated PAGASA officials early Wednesday morning. PAGASA administrator Prisco Nilo admitted, “’Yun ang ‘di namin na-predict!”


After getting dressed down by President Aquino, officials of the weather bureau promised to be more accurate in predicting the weather. PAGASA is now talking to the German government for the possible importation of 12 Doppler radars and Paul the Octopus.

Here’s a fact: The night typhoon “Basyang” inched toward Metro Manila, President Aquino was partying with the Malacañang Press Corps. The weather was actually fine when the dinner started… until Aquino sang two songs.

In Other News
Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez says she wants to personally speak to President Aquino to enumerate her accomplishments… to which Aquino said, “Nang-iinsulto ba siya?”

Binay’s New Post
After repeatedly saying he would no longer accept any government posts, Vice President Jejomar Binay has finally agreed to become the new “housing czar” – to which former Vice President Noli De Castro said, “Bakit ka magpapakipot pa, kung puwede namang magkapuwesto na?”


TYPHOONS
(To officially welcome the rainy season, I am reposting this article originally published in October 2009 two weeks after the onslaught of typhoon “Ondoy” and a month before the deadline for the filing of the COC for president. Enjoy!)

ATY_erap Typhoon Erap
Devastates the country for two hours and then leaves. Despite the entry of a new disturbance though, it threatens to re-enter the Philippine area of responsibility.

ATY_gma Typhoon Gloria
Continues to pummel the entire Philippines for nine hours now. Gustiness rivals that of Typhoon Marcos in the ‘70s. Initial damage to agriculture is estimated at P728 million. Damage to infrastructure is unknown but initial reports say reconstruction of Macapagal Boulevard alone has cost the government P536 million. It was also able to sustain its strength after interacting with Typhoon Erap. It is forecast to remain almost stationary.

TY_MAR Typhoon Mar
Threatened to enter Philippine territory but after seeing the vigilance of Filipinos, it was forced to back out and gave way to Typhoon Noynoy.

ATY_noy Typhoon Noynoy
Initially categorized as a tropical storm until weather specialists observed a sudden rise in its gustiness and wind speed. After being officially declared a typhoon, it now brings scattered rain showers in Luzon including Metro Manila. Moderate to strong winds are expected to blow toward the Visayas and Mindanao in the coming days. [By the way, beware of typhoon Noynoy’s thunder – it wouldn’t shut up!]

ATY_villar Typhoon Villar
Earlier forecast categorized it as a “super typhoon” maintaining strength in Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao. Roads and road extensions were damaged – twice (double devastation). But the entry of Typhoon Noynoy in Philippine territory has eclipsed its impact. The rest of the country will remain cloudy though.

ATY_bro Typhoon (Brother) Eddie:
A similarly-named typhoon entered the country in 2004 and threatened to pour 5 million centimeters of rainwater in the entire country. You know what happened. The typhoon was re-categorized as a drizzle.

ATY_bayani Typhoon Bayani
This weather disturbance was located at 14° 38′ 24″ North Northwest of Marikina City. Weather experts refused to categorize it as a typhoon because its impact is localized. It did, however attempt to pack maximum sustained winds similar to a tropical storm. But latest satellite data revealed no sign of activity.

ATY_vgibo Typhoon Gibo
It was nowhere near the Philippine area of responsibility until three hours before PAGASA made its latest forecast. In fact, typhoon Bayani’s moderate winds were already blowing east of the metro before Gibo made its presence felt and officially entered Philippine territory. The weather bureau forecasts similarities in the movements of typhoon Gibo and typhoon Gloria although both Gibo and typhoon Noynoy originated approximately 10 miles east of Central Luzon.

aty_binay Typhoon Jejomar
Described by weather specialists as “stubborn” and territorial,” this typhoon has recently threatened the whole country if not for some climatological developments. What’s alarming is that people to tend to ignore Typhoon Jejomar’s ability to destroy. It has remained stationary for 23 years (and counting).

Typhoon JDV
No heavy rains. No lightning. No flooding. It’s all thunder and wind.

ATY_chix Typhoon Loren & Typhoon Chiz
For the first time in local weather history, two typhoons entered the country at the same time making landfall on the same area. The impact is moderate though, without much damage, and both typhoons are expected to leave soon… unless either of them interact with typhoon Erap.

ATY_jamb Typhoon Jamby
The hardest to predict among the weather disturbances. Scattered raindrops will not completely wet an exposed surface regardless of duration. But the public is advised to remain cautious of lightning. Despite the rains, temperatures will remain high.

ATY_puno Typhoon Ronnie (Puno)
No satellite or surface data was made available because… “Tahimik lamang magtrabaho ang Typhoon Ronnie kaya maraming nagagawa (na damage).”
———————-
“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning to sail my ship.”
~Aeschylus

Survey Says
On Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez:
– IMPEACH HER! Now na! 64%
– LEAVE her alone. Let her do her job. 25%
– Sorry… ‘di ko alam ang issue. 11%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere…
– Philippine Star’s William Esposo: Why the (Extreme) Left remains politically insignificant

– Philippine Daily Inquirer’s Conrado De Quiros endorses the legalization of ‘jueteng’

– Congratulations to Coach Phil Jackson of the Los Angeles Lakers who took home the Best Coach trophy, and Kobe Bryant who was named Best NBA Player in the 2010 ESPY Awards. Btw, Yahoo!Sports reported, “LeBron James was booed when a montage of male athlete nominees was shown.” Ouch!

Enjoy your weekend!

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25 responses

15 07 2010
banker

1st! (baka sakali)

Like

15 07 2010
jo

napakahilarious yung iimport ng pag-asa yung 12 doppler radars and PAUL THE OCTOPUS!!! kakatawa!! why not nga?

Like

15 07 2010
reviewer22

Tuwa din ako sa Paul the Octopus. BTW, Mang Tani, the regular spokesperson for PAGASA has been said to have migrated to Australia because of the better job offer of the weather bureau there.

Pero I believe Noy has already found a replacement for Mang Tani. Hindi lang daw magiging extra PR for Pagasa pero magiging magaling mag predict ng mga future na bagyo. No other than Madam Auring! Diba tatanong din ni Noy si Madam Auring kung makakasal nga siya in the future?

Like

15 07 2010
vina

Ha ha ha . . . WINNER!!!!!!:
The weather was actually fine when the dinner started… until Aquino sang two songs.
No wonder Manila got a direct hit!

Like

15 07 2010
Topdog

The weather was fine., until noynoy sang two songs! Hahaha! Na-Disaster na talaga ang bayan pagpasok ng typhoon abnoy!!

Like

16 07 2010
gibo_butnot teodoro

pathetic mindset.

Like

16 07 2010
john

aso… t** ka! abnoy ka ng abnoy eh presidente mo na yun… maliban nalang kung hindi ka pinoy! 😀 😀 😀

Like

16 07 2010
sachi

oh well, what do we expect from a dog.

Like

19 07 2010
TOMADOR

ignore the moron LOL

Like

15 07 2010
john

ang kulet lang mga typhoons PH… 😀 😀 😀

Like

15 07 2010
World Wide News Flash

STORMS « The Professional Heckler…

I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)…

Like

15 07 2010
rainier_gonzalo

Mr. PH,

Do you consider PNoy as a political joke that got elected?

Like

15 07 2010
maliititik_O

di ko nga alam kung matotopak ako sa estado ng PAGASA aba elementary pa lang ako sablay na sila nagkaapo na ako at lahat sablay pa din.

tanghali pa lang sabi ng cnn it will hit the capital pero kinagabihan iba naman kwento sa phil news. bah mas mabuti pa makitsismis na lang sila sa cnn at baka me PAGASA pa!

Like

16 07 2010
babaylan

si maldita gutierrez, hindi pa pwedeng alisin na lang sa bisa ng isang hatol ng korte na pinuno niya lang ang natitirang termino ni simeon marcelo, na kung ganun ay tapos na ang kanyang panunungkulan noon pang 2009?

Like

16 07 2010
senior60

noynoy at maliititik-0, huwag na kayo galit sa pag-asa

dahil mahirap kalabanin si nature, hindi na nila ito ma

catch-up kung biglang liliko at kung saansaan pupunta….

Like

16 07 2010
mbw

nakakatawang nakaka-inis ang PAGASA! As a friend quipped, you’d know there’s a real typhoon just so because they website is down…which is not surprising.

But love your one-liners, PH! Sana favorite blogger ka rin ni PNoy.

Like

16 07 2010
ramrod

tama si senior60, wala talagang magaling dyan sa mga typhoon na yan, and US nga tinamaan wala rin silang magawa…

Like

16 07 2010
Ervin

I love the content of your blog, but is it just me or are the texts really hard to read? The words and pictures are like all over the page, and there’s no flow from top to bottom. I don’t know, or maybe because there’s just too many photos?

Like

16 07 2010
sachi

sorry ervin, it’s just you ;p the format is perfectly fine ;p

Like

16 07 2010
sachi

hi ph,

i’ve been reading you for a year now. you’re smart & funny, a witty guy. (with a funny name too if i may add. loi? for a guy? ;p) in fact, i tell my friends about your site & recently, i created my latest blog & made you a link ;p

thanks & God bless ;p

Like

16 07 2010
professionalheckler

thanks sachi. ewan ko nga ba sa parents ko. ang dami-daming puwedeng inickname. hmpf. hahaha mabaho rin kasi full first name ko.

Like

16 07 2010
bleukite

classic tlaga ung typhoon article… hehe! kahit i-repost mo after evry storm! haha!

Like

17 07 2010
mavakes

I remember this post about typhoons. Nagcomment pa yata ako nun – Noy’s thunder is Kris? hehe

Like

18 07 2010
bikolano

di ka naman nyan galit sa kaliwa loi? well salamat na rin sa pag post mo nang kay esposong article. let a thousand flowers bloom and a hundred thoughts contend

Like

25 01 2011
STORMS « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

[…] more: STORMS « The Professional Heckler This entry was posted in Jokes and tagged been-reading, friend-quipped, friends, latest, […]

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