LAWBREAKERS


YOU HEARD President Noynoy Aquino’s inaugural speech, right? He wanted the new government to lead by example; precisely the reason why he encouraged people in power to shun the wangwang. He wanted them to strictly follow traffic rules and regulations: No one should offer and accept tong or ‘lagay.’ No one should counterflow. And to prevent accidents, no one should beat the red light. Unless of course, you’re the vice president.


Caught on Tape
Last Monday, Vice President Jejomar Binay’s convoy was caught by a GMA 7 television crew beating the red light and ignoring a “no left turn” sign at about 11:30 a.m. along Araneta Avenue in Quezon City. Binay has reportedly reprimanded the “concerned personnel” – for their failure to monitor the presence of the TV crew.

As GMA News reported, Vice President Jejomar Binay’s convoy didn’t just beat the red light but actually ignored a “no left turn” sign along Araneta Avenue last Monday. According to Binay, he was in a hurry for a meeting that day, he totally forgot that he was not in Makati.

Binay’s Request
Vice President Jejomar Binay wants to have his own official office and residence like the president. Asked why, Binay said, “Alangan namang mag-uwian ako sa bahay namin for the next 24 years. Heller!?!”

Cito’s Back
Former Agriculture Secretary Luis ‘Cito’ Lorenzo Jr. is back! He told ABS-CBN’s Lynda Jumilla he’s now willing to testify in the P728-million fertilizer scam probe. In fact, President Noynoy Aquino himself said that Lorenzo could serve as a state witness. Why not? He knows a lot about the issue; he seems to be the least guilty, and his brother donated P20 million to Noynoy’s presidential campaign.

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:Q_FC5DuANQwOmM:http://blogs.bet.com/entertainment/spotlight/bet-blog/assets/2009/12/tiger-woods.jpg In Sports…
At a news conference held after the recently concluded J.P. McManus Invitational Pro-Am in Ireland, Tiger Woods turned curt and dismissive, and declined to answer questions about his private life. Woods also expressed his thoughts on what he described was a ‘double standard.’ Baffled members of the media asked, what do you mean ‘double standard?’ Woods answered, “In the US, you cheat on your wife, you get crucified. In the Philippines, you cheat on the golf course, you get the Bureau of Customs.”

Alvarez Is In
The new commissioner of the Bureau of Customs – Air21 president and former SGV senior auditor Angelito ‘Lito’ Alvarez is in the news these days. According to Inquirer and dzRH sources, the posh Alabang Golf and Country Club imposed a six-month suspension on Alvarez for cheating during a golf tournament in February. But Malacañang’s search committee believes Alvarez is the best guy to take on the bad eggs at the Bureau of Customs. You know, galit ang mandaraya sa kapwa mandaraya.


The Late Mrs. Arroyo
Congresswoman Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo arrived three hours late in today’s orientation of neophyte congressmen at the House of Representatives. Mrs. Arroyo got up late because she wasn’t able to sleep well last night: she had a terrible headache, had an upset stomach, and saw Cito Lorenzo in the news.

Belmonte and Pork Barrel
Liberal Party’s bet for House Speaker, Quezon City Rep. Feliciano Belmonte is against the proposal of some of his party mates to slash pork barrel allocations to P40 million from P70 million per congressmen. Incoming House Minority Leader Edcel Lagman described the proposed cut as “flawed, cosmetic, and counterproductive” while Quezon Rep. Danilo Suarez said it’s “discriminatory.” In short, “anti-congressman.” Punyeta kayong lahat!


Red Mass
President Noynoy Aquino arrived late in yesterday’s Red Mass at the Manila Cathedral. In contrast, Vice President Jejomar Binay arrived so much ahead of everyone… which was not surprising considering how good his driver was in beating the red light.
———————————-
“An honest confession is good for the soul, but bad for the reputation.”
~Thomas Dewar

The Who
In the NBA, there’s John Amaechi. In the PBA, well, there’s the already-retired Apricot Banana Watermelon who was outed by his ex-wife. Both were professional cagers. Now, what if the head coach is homosexual? Would it be a big deal? Definitely not for the players of this collegiate team that is being mentored by a gay coach. As one team member asserted, “As long as he does not spend time with us in the locker room, walang problema.” Who’s the gay coach? Think John Donne and Ma. Isabel Lopez. Marami rin n’yan sa Pangasinan! And the college team? ‘Wag na. Basta ‘pag nahulaan mo, ituturing kitang isang bayani at tatanggap ka pa ng maagang Christmas gift!

Survey Says
Your take on Mae “Juana Change” Paner’s recent rants:
Nasa katwiran siya! Kaisa mo kami! 37%
Sus! Tama si Lacierda, inggit lang siya! 16%
Wala akong alam sa isyu! 47%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere
Manila Standard Today: The country’s richest

Overseas: CNN fires news anchor because of a Twitter post

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

60 thoughts on “LAWBREAKERS”

    1. Yup bro, too elementary. Simple things that gives a big impact on how you take things in order. 80-20 rule bro.

      Alam na natin ngayon kung sino ang pilit lumulusot sa batas, diba VICE-PRESIDENT BINAY?? Simpleng batas-trapiko di mo masunod. Bise presidente ka na noggie. Start acting like one! Nyeta na yan.

      Like

  1. Gets ko na ung Coach and School. Sikat na tula, pelikula at tourist spot ang last name nya!. Saan na Christmas gift ko? Para sa first name, Kakanta pa ba ako ng Christmas SONG na ____ (ako kasi FIRST na nakahula) para ibigay mo gift ko? Para sa school, Baka naman bibigyan mo na lang ako ng STAR. 5 STAR ibigay mo sa akin ha? Para ako pinakamataas sa school nila. Yehey bayani na ako. Taga Marikina nga lang. Hindi CAVITE

    Like

  2. “Former Agriculture Secretary Luis ‘Cito’ Lorenzo Jr. is back! He told ABS-CBN’s Lynda Jumilla he’s now willing to testify in the P728-million fertilizer scam probe.”

    Wow! made na ang career ko kasi nabanggit ako sa tanyag at bantog na blog ni heckler! thanks, loi!

    Like

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