FIGHTS


PRESIDENT NOYNOY AQUINO says his Cabinet will undergo a seminar on how to properly deal with the media. The seminar is not mandatory for all Cabinet members… except for Edwin Lacierda and Bro. Armin Luistro.

Reports say members of the Aquino cabinet will attend a seminar on how to properly deal with the members of the press. You know, how to charm them, get their attention, sustain their interest, and make them believe all the things you say. The seminar will be conducted by Kris Aquino.

President Aquino announced that members of his Cabinet would undergo a seminar on media relations. Again, fine-tuning.

No TRO
A Quezon City court has junked the request for a TRO filed by a CBCP consultant against the pilot testing of DepEd’s sex education program… to which Bro. Armin Luistro allegedly said, “’Kita n’yo na? Walang naitutulong ang media!”

Shooting President
On his fifth day as president, Noynoy Aquino took time off and did some target practice at Langkaya, Antipolo with Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay. The younger Binay said he actually sent the invitation to Aquino two weeks ago… but it was only last Sunday that Mar Roxas was persuaded to let Noynoy go.

President Aquino went target shooting Sunday. Members of the PSG said he was unusually sharp that day. In fact, he only missed 1 of the 10 James Yap photos used as targets.

Photo of the Weak

“Anak, inililipat ko na sa ‘yo ang pamamahala sa minamahal nating lungsod ng Makati. Para sa ‘yo talaga ‘to dahil nasa grade school ka pa lang, isinumpa ko na sa aking sarili na hinding-hindi ko bibitiwan ang puwestong ito hangga’t ‘di ka sumasapit sa tamang edad ng pamumuno. Bata pa ang iyong anak na lalaki. Matagal-tagal pa ang iyong bubunuin. Konting tiyaga. Nakaya ko ang 24 years, makakaya mo ang 25. Mabuhay ka!”

Just So You Know…
There’s a reported Facebook war between Noynoy Aquino volunteer Mae Paner a.k.a. “Juana Change” and presidential spokesman Edwin Lacierda. Interviewed on ANC, Paner revealed that Lacierda described her as “naiinggit” for criticizing the appointment of the Abads (whom she labeled as “recycled”) in government. The palace spokesman insists he’s just protecting Butch Abad and his family who are his close friends. The situation just got worse when Paner called up Lacierda to settle their differences. Instead of saying “Hello?” the palace spokesman said, “Oink?”

Tight Race
Reports say Senators Francis Pangilinan and Manny Villar are in a fierce battle for the presidency of the Senate. The only fiercer battle is between Juana Change and Edwin Lacierda.

Boat Capsizes
A motorboat carrying six members of the religious sect ‘Ang Dating Daan’ capsized Sunday enroute to Aroroy port after leaving Barangay Talib in Aroroy, Masbate. Probers are checking on reports that the boatman was a member of the Iglesia ni Cristo.

Overseas
US Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has criticized Russia for occupying parts of Georgia… which is really ironic coming from a high-ranking official of a country that occupies the rest of the world.
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“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”
~Sun Tzu

The Who!
Another couple heads for splitsville! Mauritius Australia knew her affair with local politico Jordan Vanuatu Japan Ethiopia was doomed from the start. “There was a lot of fighting,” a source said. And whether she admits it or not, Mauritius Australia’s a battered “kabit.” She almost called it quits a couple of years back if not for her pregnancy. This time though, she’s determined to leave local politico. The straw that broke the camel’s back? Mauritius Australia learned that Jordan Vanuatu Japan Ethiopia has another woman, Greece Jamaica, a former flame of diminutive Mr. Romania. People wonder: why can’t Jordan Vanuatu Japan Ethiopia’s more famous father or brother discipline him? One of his constituents put it, “Isang himala kapag napagbago ng asal ‘yang si Jordan Vanuatu Japan Ethiopia. Pero kung magagawa ‘yan ng kanyang ama at kapatid, ako ang unang-unang sisigaw ng Hallelujah!”
(Updated July 9: Jordan Vanuatu Japan Ethiopia has granted ‘freedom” to Mauritius Australia. Nakahinga na ng maluwag ang kinawawang babae. Good for her.)

The Who, Too
If looks could kill, Yemen would be dead by now. And Germany would confess to the murder. Germany is so mad at Yemen for being a blabbermouth. It was Yemen who, without consulting Germany first, announced to the world that Germany’s romance with Malaysia was over. Germany didn’t want the public to know about it, and was actually successful in keeping the separation a secret from the tabloid press, until Yemen, yes, the rumormonger, made it public. Tsismosa!

The Who III
Will ex-politico, Kangaroo say “yes” to network bigwig, Parrot who offered him to anchor the network’s early evening newscast for a whopping P10M/month plus other perks? A very reliable source says Kangaroo still has a week left to decide. But will owners of his former network allow that? Everyone in his ‘original home’ with the exception perhaps of high-ranking Rabbit, is reportedly excited to see him back. Ano ang kanyang pipiliin? Abangan!

Survey Says
Who should be the Senate president?
Sen. Francis Pangilinan 40%
Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. 15%
Wala sa kanila. 45%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Wohoo!
Congratulations to Francisco Bustamante of the Philippines for winning the 2010 World 9-Ball Pool Championships in Doha, Qatar earlier today (Manila time)! Great job Django!

Enjoy the rest of the week y’all!

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

91 thoughts on “FIGHTS”

    1. Ang tatay ni Jordan Vanuatu Japan Ethiopia (Municipal Mayor) ay si Vanuatu Ethiopia Brazil (ran for President). Kapati niya si Vanuatu Jamaica (former Congressman).

      Mauritius Australia used to be linked to Mauritania Tonga Jamaica (former City Mayor) who in turn used to be linked to Yemen Andorra Kenya who is the sister of Andorra Nigeria Belize (who also ran for President).

      Mr. Romania’s complete name is Romania Poland. Greece Jamaica used to be linked to Greece Japan and they have a daughter Greece Jordan.

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  1. On the who:
    “Isang himala kapag napagbago ng asal ‘yang si Jordan Vanuatu Japan Ethiopia. Pero kung magagawa ‘yan ng kanyang ama at kapatid, ako ang unang-unang sisigaw ng Hallelujah!”

    Or, mas may chansa pang manalo ang ama nya pag tumakbo uli kaysa mapabago sya. Tama ba, prof? gimme 5(million), prof, pag tama ako. Pls!?

    Like

  2. Bakit PH, galit ba si Maria ke Noli, dahil di niya iniwan si Gloria? I would love to see him in a diferrent network para di siya maimpluwensyahan ng pinakabossing. Gusto kong maging independent siya, haha.

    Totoo rin ba to? Si EL(bossing) ay bata ngayon si MR(talent), parang key KH dati? Marami siyang project at sumasakay din sa chopper ni bossing. Si MR ay na-involve sa isang pinakamalaking kontrobersya nung last year na nakarating pa sa senado. Ang pinakabida sa kontrobersya ay isang loser ngayon, na natanggalan ng lisensya sa kanyang propesyon. Si KH naman ay dating syota(kuno) ni Panday, nung sila ay sobrang sikat pa.

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    1. Again, dahil blind item addict ako (kahit na alam kong kasalanan ang chismis):

      Si MR ay nakapag-aral na, at nag-“lie low” noong nagkaroon ng iskandalo.

      Si KH ang na-involve kay Panday, kay Danube Orinoco (na kilala ni Panday), at ang sikat na singer na si Manitoba Bronx. May kinalaman din siya kay Malaysia from Blind Item #1.

      Si EL (yata) ang nakapagbenta ng magarang bahay sa isang Papa…

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    1. Actually, sinabi naman ni Heckler na lalake si Kangaroo, so hindi si KD na kapipirma lang sa bagong kontrata ng Dos. Therefore, Kangaroo = nickname, dahil hilig niyang batiin ang sambayanan gabi-gabi.

      Also: “Maliit at maitim na babae,” kamo? Kung hindi binanggit ni Heckler na “high ranking executive” iyon – and in this case yun yung nagtrabaho sa CNN – sasabihin ko sana na yun yung isa pang babae na may kaitiman din sa totoong buhay (balat at binhi) dahil R ang surname ng asawa niya.

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  3. hmmm…

    1. Japan Vuanatu Jordan Ethiopia – di ba may anak din siya sa dating model na ang initials ay Peanut Butter…? Clueless ako kay Mr. Romania at Greece Jamaica

    2. A follow-up of yesterday’s blind item, isang libo’t-isang tuwa, buong bansa, Eat Bulaga…!!!

    3. Ano ang magiging title ng newscast…? Magandang Gabi, Kapatid…?

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  4. Alam ko na!!! Hahahaha (lelluia)! Si AM e ang apelyido dati ay A-tapang A-tao. Ex ni Tsong at ni Papaya Boy. Si local politico naman ay mayor sa isang munisipyo na sikat pag bagong taon, at yung kapatid nya ay partylist congressman ng partido na ginagawa mo tuwing umaga……Ang hindi ko na lang mahuli ay sino yung other woman……Konting clue pa MR PH…..

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  5. Da who

    AM – dating web sensation na hindi daw kumakain ng karne.
    JV”J”E – sangkot sa barilan nung 2007, mayor
    Dad of J – talunan sa pagka-presidente kahit malapit daw sa Diyos, parang lagi nakapikit pag nagsasalita.
    Brother – Cong na sumikat lang dahil sa tatay.
    Yemen, Germany, Malaysia – sobrang giveaway alam na ng lahat.
    Parrot – mahilig sa birdie kaya parrot.
    Kangaroo – sino naman ang hindi kilala si Ka-kosa.
    Rabbit – kelangan magpunta sa derma, may skin disease yata sa mukha kaya tinaggal sa CNN.

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  6. na-gets ko na yung #1 pero confirm ko lang si Greece Jamaica (GJ) at Mr. Romania. Tama ba na si GJ ay may anak sa showbiz na same initials din niya? at si Mr. Romania na ex niya ay mas bata pa sa kanya? tama ba? tama? sige na, kasi halos buong araw namin inisip sa office yan. hehe. 🙂

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  7. Kung iniisip nyong si JVJE ay anak ng natalong presidentiable na si Jamaica Ecuador Estonia at ng dating aktres na si Guinea Guinea, wrong!

    Haha. Ibang milagro ang kailangan nya.

    Si Greece Jamaica ay isang cougar nung patulan nya si Romania Poland. Si Romania Poland ay naging bf ni Madagascar Abkhazia at Djibouti Somalia.

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  8. I am for Senator Villar as Senate President as I believed that being a former Senate President in the past he will not have a hard time fulfilling his task as senate head. While Pangilinan on the other hand will only be subservient to the likes of P-Noy which will proves that the senate is a rubber stamp the new administration whicih will defeat the purpose of being an independent body over the other two (Judiciary and (Executive)branch of the governement. Let us ensure that each branch of our government is independent with one another to make our DEMOCRACY work.

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  9. galing galing.. after reading most of the comments and some google search nahulaan ko na rin lahat.(although di ko naman talaga nahulaan since given na sa mga comments). Thanks PH.

    Tama yung comment nung isa dapat ipost mo yung sagot pag may new topic na para sa mga hirap na hirap humula..

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