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REPAIRS

4 07 2010


UNDENIABLY, the most talked about subject of conversations during the past week was the new president, Benigno Simeon ‘Noynoy’ Aquino III. In close second was the ‘wang-wang.’

The schedule of Benigno Simeon ‘Noynoy’ Aquino III on his first three days as president was really hectic. He swore into office 200 local executives, convened his cabinet for their first meeting, hosted a reception for foreign dignitaries, got stuck in heavy metro traffic, and performed two numbers in a variety show.

Arguably, the third most popular subject of the past week was the James Yap-Kris Aquino separation. Last Thursday, the basketball star released a statement saying he’ll do everything to fix his marriage, or as palace spokesman Edwin Lacierda would call it, “fine tuning.”

Presidential spokesman Edwin Lacierda couldn’t say whether President Noynoy Aquino took a rest or not on his first weekend in office. Lacierda said he didn’t know Aquino’s weekend schedule. He doesn’t seem to know anything at this moment. In fact, Lacierda’s not even sure if he’s still Aquino’s spokesman.

Memo Circular No. 1
This is embarrassing. Released on President Aquino’s first day in office, Memorandum Circular No. 1 declaring all positions of non-career executive service officials (Non-Ceso) vacant was withdrawn and reissued. I just hope they’d be successful this time because that’s exactly the same thing the Liberal Party did to Mar Roxas’ candidacy.

Mar’s Protest
Former senator Mar Roxas announced he would file an electoral protest against Vice President Jejomar Binay. Roxas loyalists believe the electoral protest will prove that he won the vice presidency and that he’s got lots and lots of spare money.

The Senate Presidency
Liberal Party’s Francis Pangilinan is confident of winning the senate presidency. He claims he has the support of Franklin Drilon, Ralph Recto, Francis Joseph Escudero, Vicente Sotto III, Teofisto Guingona III, Sergio Osmeña III, Antonio Trillanes III, Jinggoy Estrada, Juan Ponce Enrile, and Kris Aquino.

Sen. Francis Pangilinan and Sen. Manny Villar are on a collision course over the Senate presidency. Despite the backing of at least nine senators though, Pangilinan is not taking Villar lightly. As a matter of fact, Pangilinan regards Villar as the fiercest fighter he’d seen… after Sharon Cuneta.

Villar’s Bid
Reports say Sen. Manny Villar is determined to reclaim the presidency of the Senate. Aimed at helping Villar realize his dream, a rabid supporter is planning to release Sen. Francis Pangilinan’s alleged psychological and psychiatric evaluation reports next week.

Sen. Manny Villar is keen on winning the Senate presidency. In fact, Nanay Curing has been advised to prepare for a press conference.

Kris & James: A Postscript
James Yap has spoken. Addressing his wife Kris, the basketball star said, “Sa tulong ng Diyos, alam kong malalampasan natin ang pagsubok na ito!” to which God said, “Nandamay na naman!”
———————————-
“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”
~Napoleon Bonaparte

The Who?
Gold and Silver have called it quits. And Gold has been having sleepless nights these days. A source said, “Natatakot siyang mawalan ng trabaho. Magkasama kasi sila ni Silver sa isang programa.” History shows that everyone who got involved with Silver were either compelled to resign or terminated. The list includes Krypton, Cobalt, Calcium, and Copper. Unfortunately, the relationship is beyond repair.

Personal
Again, I hate it! PNoy, P-Noy, P’Noy or P.Noy, whatever! Tigilan na ang mga pautot na ‘yan. He’s got a name. Use it.

Survey Says
Your take on the soon-to-be officially established ‘Truth Commission:’
BILIB ako diyan. Sige, habulin si Gloria! 46%
I DOUBT kung may magagawa ‘yan. 43%
No comment. 11%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere…
Newsbreak: Lani Mercado’s pet bill

Newsbreak: Justices, dinner, and the Palawan cases

Have a productive week ahead!

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65 responses

4 07 2010
rhozza

good morning! ganda ng timing ko, ako una. comment muna bago basa. hehehe. achievement ito! wow!

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4 07 2010
john

masuwerte ka ngayong umaga… sabukan mo na ring tumaya sa lotto at baka sakaling manalo ka… Congrats!!! 😀

PH… panalo nanaman!!! 😀

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4 07 2010
super balentong

He claims he has the support of Franklin Drilon, Ralph Recto, Francis Joseph Escudero, Vicente Sotto III, Teofisto Guingona III, Sergio Osmeña III, Antonio Trillanes III, Jinggoy Estrada, Juan Ponce Enrile, and Kris Aquino.

lol.. panalo!! kris aquino. lol

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4 07 2010
jo

the term PNOY was approved by president aquino himself so that he can be pang masa. but technically he shud be BSA.

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4 07 2010
garju101

More like BS Aquino to me LOL. Mr. PH thank you very much indeed for another hilarious post!

This early blunder after blunder, faux pas after faux pas LOL BS Aquino is making your life a little bit easier Mr.PH. A true political joke at the helm LOL!

Have a good one!

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4 07 2010
Anonymous

ang bitter mo naman. relax ka lang.

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5 07 2010
phreddox

Hysterical much?

I agree with Anonymous. Isa kang ampalaya – bitter.

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7 07 2010
garju101

@Anonymous & phreddox:

How does it feel like that your preferred President is now at the receiving end of criticisms? Surely both of you should get used to it, considering that both of you perhaps, were rabid critics of the previous administration.

Oh c’mon guys both of you are being apologist for BS Aquino. Thing is if no substantive result is delivered after his first 100 days expect more criticism to be hurled at your preferred President. To be honest I’m far from being bitter here as I was merely pointing a fact. Either way you look at it his first three days in office were far from sterling. His intentions is unquestionable it’s his ability to lead that’s still remains to be proven. I’m actually looking forward to his first 100 days and whilst expectations were unreasonably raised by his spin doctors during the campaign I still do hope that he delivers on his promises.

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8 07 2010
etchosera

@garju101

grabeh nang englisan to ‘Teh!

Sabi nga ng kasama ko dito…. kaka nose-blade!
Wahahahaha!

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4 07 2010
LIVINGSAINT

silver— vic sotto?
gold—-pia guanio?

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4 07 2010
Sgporeboy

Pareho tayo ng hula:))

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5 07 2010
rian

onga no! asteeeg!

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5 07 2010
phreddox

Mahina ako sa showbiz chismis. Sino sina Krypton, Cobalt, Calcium, and Copper heheh?

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4 07 2010
Regina

Hahahah, another round of applause for PH!

Naiintriga naman ako sa blind item. Can’t make heads or tails with it. XD

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4 07 2010
rian

ang hirap ng the who mo! please clues pa po!

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4 07 2010
mae23md

parang napikon si lacierda sa presscon. vicious ba mmebers ng media?

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4 07 2010
marshee

wala ‘dre get used to it. apparently the country will indeed be calling him PNoy. hehe.

panalo ka padin! 😀

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4 07 2010
sino nanay mo

more clues please lang po!

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4 07 2010
carmine

Yup, Vic Sotto and Pia Guanio have called it quits daw. It’s Tim Yap who first announced it. I read somewhere that it was during Ruffa G’s birthday in Republiq when Pia asked Tim to have it announced on stage that she’s single again.

Why kaya?

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5 07 2010
meimei

Oy, Vic and Pia is a good guess!

G= Guanio
S = Sotto

Yung listahan ng mga babaeng nawalan ng trabaho over getting involved with Vic includes Coney Reyes (inanakan) and Christine Jacob (inanakan din, IIRC); hindi ko na maalala ‘yung iba.

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5 07 2010
meimei

Correction, from Ricky Lo (who incidentally is also reporting the same thing in his paper – as in, down to the details about Pia going to Ruffa’s birthday and making paramdam efek): Vic has a child with Angela Luz, not Christine Jacob. According to Wikipedia, though, Christine did have “a short-lived affair” with Vic while she was hosting Eat Bulaga… and then moved to ABS-CBN as soon as her contract expired. OUCH.

So I’m trying to wrap my head around the identity of the others…

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4 07 2010
camille

galeeeeng….hiwalay na sila. kung umasta kasi si Pia sa EB parang kung sinong VIP na sya, ang arrrteeee. hahaha.

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4 07 2010
DEL

Penot na lang, hahaha.

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6 07 2010
jOrdan

PAquino na lang.

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4 07 2010
stalker

wala na tayong magagawa sa PNoy PH, di bale pag nagtagal baka maging BS Aquino na rin tawag sa kanya hehehehe

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5 07 2010
phreddox

Ampalaya!

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4 07 2010
Pia

Hi P.H.! Please join me and my friends in promoting good citizenship through the newly formed facebook group, “What Have You Done for the Philippines Today?” It’s a venue for everyday Pinoys to inspire one another to do their share in working toward a better Philippines, day by day, one small action/idea at a time.

‘Hope you can join the group and invite others as well. Thanks!

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5 07 2010
professionalheckler

sure! 🙂

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4 07 2010
Maki

Bakit si Erap di naman pinalitan un nick nya nun naging president. Masyado naman sipsip ang media kay panot at PNoy pa ang tawag.

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5 07 2010
etchosera

May problema po ba ‘Teh?

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5 07 2010
Thelma

WangWangWee na lang! he he he

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5 07 2010
foxy

Yup, mas bagay BS Aquino sa kanya. Imagine? Laging may day-off? And here I thought that the Presidency is a 24/7 round-the-clock job? Silly me…tsk..tsk…tsk…

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5 07 2010
rian

nasanay lang kay PGMA

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5 07 2010
TOMADOR

seriously? you are criticizing him for taking a break? easy lang, tao din yan at napapagod katulad mo.

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5 07 2010
onlysecond

hi PH. long-time reader, first time to comment. i didn’t vote for noynoy but i found the above comment(s) a bit nakakapantaas-kilay lang.

ang diyos nga nagpahinga, tao pa kaya? the presidency may be a demanding job that merits higher expectations, but it is a job all the same and the president is still human.

sa tingin ko, we should dial down the hostility and as-of-now unfounded criticism. ok lang maging vigilant, pero wag maging fault-finder. and temper it with support. he won fair and square, after all. i mean, pati itatawag sa kanya, ang dami pang issue? anober.

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5 07 2010
Anonymous

what??? sobrang sacrifice yong 24/7 para kay BS Aquino noh. paano na ang mga kalaro niya sa computer games niya?…ikaw naman, o! hahaha

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6 07 2010
foxy

mea culpa! i agree with you guys na nga. BS Aquino does need a lot of breaks since he has to absorb, decipher, discern, and sift through all the advice, (unsolicited or not) he is getting from all sides. his brain can’t handle all of them for sure (which i know he knew when he decided to run for the highest position in the land). yes, let’s give the guy all the breaks he needs!

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5 07 2010
timpaul

Ang lupit mo naman. Puro nalang ba negative ang tingin mo sa bago nating presidente? Yung kay prof na heckling nga may kunting respeto. e, yung sa yu parang for the sake nalang na may masabi kang masama.

Anung masasabi mu na nagtitiis si PBA mag hintay mag green ang traffic light? Ginusto nyang tiisin ang tinitiis mu araw-araw para maipakita nya sa iyo kung anung klaseng tao sya. Ug makita nato tanan nga dili sya abosado.

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5 07 2010
Worried Pinoy

“The same people who put you at the top are more likely the same crustaceans that will pull your feet down” – Krusty the Crab

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5 07 2010
etchosera

Ayyy! Mega-known talaga?

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6 07 2010
phreddox

Meron.

This is from the philosophical school of Sponge Bob.

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9 07 2010
Burnik

I think you mean Eugene and not Krusty. Krusty Krab is the name of the food chain where Spongebob works. the proprietor is Eugene Krabs. I think you either mistook Mr. Krabs’ name to Krusty The Clown of The Simpsons or the name of the food chain at Bikini Bottom.

O di ba at talagang yun lang napainsin ko sorry naman XD

P.S. I hate Pia, grabe mang-power trip si ateh.

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5 07 2010
harhar

PNoy.. For Erap.. PERAp.. weird..

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5 07 2010
gerrydejesus

Gusto naman ni Manny maging senate president, para mabawi ang ginastos?

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5 07 2010
JR Lopez Gonzales

Funny. “Wangwang” in Bisaya is a slang for a “non-virgin”. 🙂

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5 07 2010
Poppy Fields

Wow Pong Pagong is aiming for the senate presidency! 😛

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5 07 2010
Dyoiskupo

Ang saya! wla ng wang wang!!!

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5 07 2010
sachi

hi pia, that’s really nice. i’ll join. thanks & God bless.

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5 07 2010
irropoi

sino nmn sina krypton,cobalt,calcium and copper?
clue!!!!!

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6 07 2010
religiousboy

Krypton – Kris A.
Cobalt – Christine J.
Calcium – Connie R.
Copper – Chiqui H.
Kulang pa. Angela Luz.

For the critics of P-noy for his birth pains — you have the right to criticize naman talaga ang sinumang pinuno natin lalo pa’t meron talagang konting kapalpakan ang kanyang ilang cabinets secs. But over all, you are all realizing (esp. those who didn’t vote for him) and seeing through the kind of person he is. Mabuti, may delicadesa, integridad, at may kahihiyan, di po ba? Breath of fresh air ika nga, na matagal na nating di naranasan sa majority ng ating naging presidente.

E yung binoto ninyong si Binay? — nakupo! Bakit ba nanalo to? Abusado talaga! Anyway, buti nga at magself-destuct na siya ngayon pa lang para naman matauhan ang 13+million na bumoto sa kanya at baka iboto uli siya pagka presidente! Now I know why Chiz endorsed him. Smart move, Chiz.

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9 07 2010
atebeybs

Krypton is not Kris A….it’s Kristhine Florendo

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5 07 2010
Karaangbugoy

“WangWangWee na lang! he he he”

May bago nang game show?

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5 07 2010
meetah maid

wala kayang kinalaman sa paghihiwalay ni silver at gold ang pakikipaghiwalay ni kris aquino kay james yap? di ba isa nga sa pinag awayan ni joey at kris noon ay yung contact ‘diumano’ ni kris kay bosing este silver? hmmmm…

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5 07 2010
checkmate

kulet ng nandamay na naman nyahahaha

ung quote isa sa mga paborito ko, thanks for the laugh sir PH ^^

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5 07 2010
Toots

First time I heard this rumor – there’s a third party involved in the Kris James brouhaha. Chiz Escudero. The rumor stumped me actually, but knowing Kris, anything’s possible……

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5 07 2010
etchosera

Haaaaaaaa? Ganun ba talaga kalakas ang appeal ni fafa James at pati si Chiz ay nabighani din sa kanya?

Nakuu! Ayaw ni Governess Salceda ng ganyan, noohhh?

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6 07 2010
timpaul

haha. Ito pinakasuper sa mga comments. lyket!

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5 07 2010
bella

do you read bob ong?
you kinda remind me of him.
when is your book coming? 🙂

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6 07 2010
senior60

worried pinoy hindi naman siguro totoo yung kasabihan
ni krusty the crab, ibig ba nyang sabihin dalawa sina
tomador at religiousboy sa mga yon? imposible….

sayang naman, may ipinagawa pa naman daw na bahay si
vic para kay pia on a 300square-meter-lot sa isang
pangmayamang subdivision…

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6 07 2010
religiousboy

Duh? Ano naman kinalaman ko sa saloobin mo senior?

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6 07 2010
kristals

cindy kurleto sali niyo naman

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6 07 2010
Smile

Atty Lacierda is kinda hot. =)

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6 07 2010
MPRivera

whatever, Noynoy is a duly elected president of the country.

eh, si goyang? she’s not a former but a never president of the Philippines. at ‘yung sinasabi ninyong kasipagan niya ay hindi ‘yung pagtupad sa gawain ng presidente kundi kung paano laging magsisinungaling at ipagyabang gumaganda ang eeeeek kuno niya (sa halip na ekonomiya) ng bansa.

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8 07 2010
HI

PNoy sounds like penoy which reminds me of his hair.

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25 01 2011
REPAIRS « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

[…] the original post: REPAIRS « The Professional Heckler This entry was posted in Gloria, Jokes and tagged ang-mga, bilib, commission, gloria, jokes, […]

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