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THE INAUGURAL

1 07 2010


Highlights
Benigno Simeon ‘Noynoy’ Aquino III is now the 15th president of the Republic of the Philippines. God saved the Philippines from Joseph Estrada!

During his inaugural address, President Noynoy Aquino asked “Kayo ba ay minsan ring nalimutan ng pamahalaang inyong iniluklok sa puwesto? Ako rin. Kayo ba ay nagtiis na sa trapiko para lamang masingitan ng isang naghahari-hariang de-wangwang sa kalsada? Ako rin. Kayo ba ay sawang-sawa na sa pamahalaang sa halip na magsilbi sa taumbayan ay kailangan pa nila itong pagpasensiyahan at tiisin? Ako rin. Kayo ba ay nakaligo na sa dagat ng basura? Kayo ba ay namatayan na ng kapatid dahil walang pampagamot? Ay, teka lang. Sensya na, mali ho yatang speech ang nabasa ko.”

In his inaugural speech, President Aquino said, “To those who are talking about reconciliation… we have this to say: there can be no reconciliation without justice.” Suddenly, his newly-separated sister Kris Aquino rose from her seat and shouted, “Kerrrrek!”

President Noynoy Aquino in his speech promised to eradicate ‘kotong’ – totally surprising the 3,000 cops that were deployed to secure his inauguration who thought he was their ally.


Speaking before half a million Filipinos, President Benigno Simeon Aquino III said, “Walang lamangan, walang padrino at walang pagnanakaw.” In straightforward terms, Ramos, Estrada, and Arroyo.

During his inaugural address, President Aquino said, “Sa paglimot ng pagkakasala, sinisigurado mong mauulit muli ang mga pagkakasalang ito.” And then Kris Aquino stood yet again and yelled, “May tama ka!”

The new president added, “Kayo ang boss ko, kaya’t hindi maaaring hindi ako makinig sa mga utos ninyo,” to which Vice President Jejomar Binay said, “Promise?”


Jejomar Cabauatan Binay also took his oath as the country’s vice president Wednesday. Analysts noted though that President-elect Noynoy Aquino and outgoing President Arroyo arrived at the Quirino Grandstand ahead of him calling it a “breach of protocol.” But for Binay loyalists, it’s a “come from behind.”

President Noynoy Aquino also said, “Sa mga nang-api sa akin, kaya ko kayong patawarin, at pinapatawad ko na kayo.” Finally, a sigh of relief for the black propaganda team of the Nacionalista Party.

President Aquino opened his speech by acknowledging East Timor President Jose Ramos Horta, former president Fidel Ramos, the Senate President and the House Speaker… prompting actress Susan Roces to note that “Chief Justice Renato Corona was snubbed… not once but twice!”

President Aquino’s 23-minute inaugural speech was praised for being clear, straight to the point, sincere, pragmatic and most importantly, for not borrowing a single line from the speeches of Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Conan O’Brien and JK Rowling.

Light Bites
Obama: “Yes, we can!”
Noynoy: “No, wang-wang!”


Sidelights
From Times Street, incoming President Noynoy Aquino picked up outgoing President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo at Malacañang Palace. Noynoy felt really awkward… mainly because he’s not used to picking up women in broad daylight.

When Noynoy Aquino finally met Mrs. Arroyo face to face at the palace, he was tongue-tied and didn’t know what to say. After a brief moment of awkward silence, Noynoy finally blurted out, “Who are you wearing?”

Police say the crowd at the Quirino Grandstand peaked at 600,000 during the actual oath taking of President Noynoy Aquino at noon Wednesday. In fact, Noynoy was so overwhelmed by the huge crowd, he ended his speech by shouting, “Amen! Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!”

During the inaugural, Noynoy Aquino was the top trending topic on Twitter. Not to be outdone, Jejomar Binay was the No. 1 topic… in the Roxas household.

Former senator and defeated vice presidential candidate Mar Roxas was a no-show at Noynoy Aquino’s inauguration. It was understandable though because Roxas had to attend the burial… of his presidential ambitions.

In the evening, President Aquino went to the street party at the Quezon Memorial Circle where he sang Freddie Aguilar’s ‘90s hit Estudyante Blues. The first line of the song goes, “Si Ramos ang nakikita, Si Erap ang nasisisi, si Gloria ang laging may kasalanan!”


International singing sensation Charice Pempengco sang the Philippine National Anthem at President Aquino’s inauguration. Before the hosts called on Charice to sing, people at the Quirino Grandstand were visibly nervous… because Christian Bautista was also there.

Praises were heaped on Charice Pempengco for singing the national anthem correctly… to the chagrin of National Historical Institute** officials who were hoping to be interviewed on camera again had Charice bungled it.
**NHI was recently renamed National Historical Commission of the Philippines.

Regine Velasquez sang the melodramatic campaign song “Hindi Ka Nag-iisa,” the song used in Noynoy Aquino’s first music video that featured an all-star cast. Everyone in that video was present at the inaugural… except for James Yap.

The University of the Philippines-based Philippine Madrigal Singers and DLSU’s Kundirana also performed at the inaugural… eliciting a howl from the Ateneo community who accused the organizers of bias for not inviting the Ateneo Glee Club.

Did you see Jim Paredes’ co-host during the inauguration? FYI: That’s the very talented Mae Paner a.k.a. Juana Change, not Sharon Cuneta. ‘Sinlaki pero ‘di ‘sing mahal.

Reports say Sharon Cuneta wore a ‘recycled’ Fanny Serrano gown because there wasn’t enough time to finish a new gown. These days, a Sharon Cuneta gown requires at least three months to finish.

Another performer, Gary Valenciano was ecstatic. He quipped that “all sorts of Ks are here today: Kapamilya, Kapuso, Kapatid, Kabayan, Kaibigan and Kundirana.” And then from afar, he saw Mrs. Arroyo, a kawatan.

In Other News…
Immediately after turning over the presidency to Noynoy Aquino, Mrs. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo hurriedly left for Pampanga. She had to rush to Lubao to personally pick the winning numbers in the special Inauguration Day jueteng draw.

Noli De Castro’s term is over. Kabayan said he has served his country well and added that he’s not afraid to face the Truth Commission (if requested) since he had nothing to hide and he didn’t hide anything – except for one thing – he didn’t tell us that he was the country’s vice president for six years.

Photo of the Weak

GMA: “Shobra ka naman Preshident-elect. ‘Di pa nga ‘ko nakakaalish ng palashyo, may Truth Commisshion ka na agad. Can we discussh it firssht over dinner? Pleassshe?”
Noynoy: “Manong driver, may lighter ho kayo. Nakaka-tense dito. Yosi muna ako.”
———————————
“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.”
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Survey Says
Gusto n’yo bang magkabalikan sina First Sister Kris Aquino at First Brother-in-Law James Yap?
YES! For the sake of their kid. 12.4%
No! Bakit pa? 25.4%
Hmpf! Pakialam ko! 62.2%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal
Mabuhay ang bagong pangulo at bagong pangalawang pangulo ng bansa!
Padayon!

Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

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66 responses

1 07 2010
rian

kaloka! ahahaha.
pero in fairness, maayos ang pagkanta ni Charice! 🙂

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1 07 2010
topdog

HAHAHAHA !“Si Ramos ang nakikita, Si Erap ang nasisisi, si Gloria ang laging may kasalanan!”

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1 07 2010
topdog

hindi pa iinvestigate din “midnight”appointments ni James Yap, hindi lang ung kay GMA?

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1 07 2010
alquanna

Me representative naman ang Ateneo. Maliban sa APO Hiking Society, kumanta rin naman si Noynoy eh. Solb na!

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1 07 2010
rajon rondo

‘Sinlaki pero ‘di ‘sing mahal. – wahaha. wasak! 😀

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1 07 2010
BAROK

oo nga pasok na pasok ang punch line! hahaha 🙂

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1 07 2010
Ling

Pwede si Charice na lang ang kakanta sa ating Pambansan Awit kung may fight si Pacquiao?

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1 07 2010
etchosera

Di puwede!

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1 07 2010
cong. manny

si jinky ka ba?! i will think of it, you know?

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1 07 2010
Sam Castillo

Bravo PH! You made my day!

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1 07 2010
anna

another great post. Galing galing talaga ni PH!

Charice’ gown looks like Snow white’s with Goldilocks ribbon…pwede na syang bitbit na pambasalubong dito SG. 🙂

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1 07 2010
jde0218

sorry na lang ang NHI officials wala silang moment ngayon. Magiisip na sila nag sunod n a gimik lol

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1 07 2010
ebumali

Bakit umalis agad si Gloria Arroyo sa Luneta?

Kasi kung aantayin nyang makapanumpa si NOYNOY AQUINO…baka iutos nitong damputin siya!!!

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1 07 2010
esa

Naku Gary, how can you have missed…meron pang isang K na present…KRISTETA! Kailangan special mention siya at di mo na lang ni-lump siya under Kapamilya. Kasi sa lahat ng K, she feels siya ang may K to be there.

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3 07 2010
eufems

and Kamag-anak [Inc] pa!

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1 07 2010
TOMADOR

hahahaha another excellent entry, di po ba??

Kerrrek! LOL

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1 07 2010
James

I have to agree!!!! Like this post a lot.haha

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1 07 2010
cathryn

kerrrrrek na naman si ph!

p.s.
noel cabangon(sp?) made me happy. para syang ice breaker.

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1 07 2010
jeproks2002

noel cabangon’s singing “panapanahon…” plagiarized erap’s “weather weather lang”.
the organizers were obviously trying to extend the program in time for the president’s noontime oath taking. the singer took his sweet time and when time came for the oath taking, parang minadali na. nung mag oath si VP Binay naging “saguisag” na ang “sigasig” kasi yun ang sabi ni justice. i thought i hear Pnoy say “lalo nating paiigtingin ang connection sa BIR”. did he mean “collection” and i didn’t hear it right?

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1 07 2010
timpaul

Ang lupit mu, prof. Kasali na si mega sa aasarin. heheh.

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1 07 2010
sino nanay mo

Natuwa na naman ako, thank you.

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1 07 2010
john

PANALO NANAMAN PH! 😀

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1 07 2010
muchie

WINNER ito!!! :D:D:D
Made my day! ^^o

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1 07 2010
jeproks2002

lipay ang mga bisaya nga di na pwede si kris sa malacanang. bawal na kasi ang wang-wang.
i know you get this ph.

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2 07 2010
boy bisaya

gets pud namo bai, sayon ra ana!

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1 07 2010
kikz

galing ng nagblog.. panama lahat ng linya.. ^:)^

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1 07 2010
irropoi

usapang rated K!!!

to:ms.Korina

Kalimutan na ang Kalungkutan,
harapin n ang Katotohan,
Kabiyak na si Ka Mar,
may Kaakibat na Kamalasan!!!.bow.

Like

4 07 2010
etchosera

Pwede po ba akong tumawa?

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1 07 2010
mbw

sino ba ang nag-design ng gown ni Charice??? Lupet naman sa bata…buti na lang ang tibay ng boses. Bigay daw ni Kristeta? Sana siya na lang ang nagsuot. Nambiktima pa! Baka binigay sa kanya actually! I recall those clothes worn by Cory when she was president—gross! When she gave her state of the nation speeches, I was not hearing anything of what she was saying just because of those her tacky clothes! Buti na lang lalake si Noynoy kundi naka Snow-white outfit din.

Like

1 07 2010
hunterlizie

Speaking before half a million Filipinos, President Benigno Simeon Aquino III said, “Walang lamangan, walang padrino at walang pagnanakaw.” In straightforward terms, Ramos, Estrada, and Arroyo.

—– > that was remarkably apt. ehhehe

Like

1 07 2010
barrycyrus

haha you never fail to amuse me :)))

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1 07 2010
stalker

kalurkey ang kawatan LOL!

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1 07 2010
Thelma

WOW!!!! How brilliant and how true. “Kawatan” alright! Bless your heart always.

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1 07 2010
sam

oh my gulay!!! got stomach cramps from this!! panalo!!! grabe!!!!

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1 07 2010
sam

do you mind if i share this on my facebook?

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1 07 2010
professionalheckler

no. go ahead. just put a link to this site if pwede.

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2 07 2010
sam

thank you! i will.

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2 07 2010
mel

i also shared this in facebook for everyone to see. 🙂

Like

1 07 2010
etchosera

wag na nga kasi tayong magtaka pa kay Kristeta, siya na lang naman kasi ang di nakakaalam na kulang siya sa pansin.

Kita mo nga ang suot, siya lang ang naiiba sa mga shufatid na girlalu ni Penoy. Sabi nga ni Miss Chuvaness, pinagmukha niyang mga bridesmaids ang kanyang mga sister act!

At ang kanyang fez, shumangot cum lungkot daw ever, paawa effect sa mga utaw; para nga naman kay fafa James na naman mabaling ang sisi, knowing na sabi sa news eh nangako daw itong si fafa James kay Penoy na darating siya sa Luneta, tapos wa sa pagka-afir!

Sa true lang, hanggang ngayon, sing pa rin si Tita Cory in high heavens ng “Saan, saan ako nagkamali?”

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1 07 2010
jhona

Whew! Ang dami kong namiss na posts. Naipon ang tawa ko. 😀

…never lose infinite hope. Like! 🙂

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1 07 2010
bella

sa tweet ni james, he wants to save the marriage pa raw!
marami na raw silang pinagdaanan, ngayon pa siya susuko?

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3 07 2010
eufems

Ngayon pa’t pangulo na si PNoy?!

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1 07 2010
MPRivera

Nahawi na ang ulap ng mga bangungot
Na sa bawat araw noon ay ngitngit ang dulot
Napawi na ang lambong ng naghaharingimbot
Ang silay ng pag-asa’y pumawi sa lungkot
Papaglulubagin ang kimkim na poot.

Ngayon ay aliwalas na ating papawirin
May hatid na sigla ang amihang hangin
Bigkis ng pagkakaisa sa bawat layunin
Paghahawak kamay sa anumang naiisin
Tanda ng pagbubuklod ng ating damdamin.

Pagkakapantay pantay ay bigyang puwang na
Iwaksi ang masamang ugaling minana
Bago nating punahin ang dusing ng iba
Tahilan ay alisin sa sariling mata
Ang sariling dungis ang linisin muna.
Ang panibagong yugto nitong kasaysayan
Ay isulat nating may baong pag-asam
Pagkatapos ng singkad na dusta’t pag-uyam
Huwag hayaan muling sukab ay mangibabaw
Lupigin ang anumang tangka ng gahaman.

Alalahaning mahusay manlinlang ang diyablo
Gayundin ang isinumpang mga anti-Kristo
Silang mga sugo ng hari ng tukso
Sadyang pagkawasak hatid ng delubyo
Pang-akit ay bitag sa pagbabalatkayo.

Ating gawing aral ang masasamang gawi
Ng sa ati’y luminlang na mapagkunwari
Huwag muling padadala sa huwad na ngiti
Sa kaway ng malikmata ay patibayin lagi
Kalasag na pagsugpo sa layon ng imbi.

Nagkalat na tukso sa likulikong daan
Mga nag-aanyong tupang animo ay banal
Katulad ng hiyas na may ningning at kinang
Ikinukubli ang iwing kamandag na taglay
Na hindi maitatago sa likod ng malay.

Ito ang siya ngayong layuning puksain
Ng sa ati’y dumulog at humawi ng dilim
Lahat ng upasala’y nagawang tawirin
Pagyukod sa unday ng sukab at sakim
Hinarap n’yang matatag at ng buong giting.

Narito na ngayon sa atin ay nanunumpa
Upang siya ang mangunang supilin ang lisya
Masisinag sa kanyang pagpapakumbaba
Ang masidhing layon sa pakikibaka
Samasamang pag-ahon sa pagdaralita.

Kaya nga ating bigyang pansin ang paghibik
Tawag ng pagbabagong kanyang inilalapit
Paunlakan ang hamon ng masidhing nais
Magdaop palad tayo’t mangagkapit bisig
Upang mithing pagbangon ay ating makamit.

Ipagpapalit na natin sa mumurahing tanso
Ang kinang na taglay ng nakaw na ginto
Salat man sa rangya kung linis ng puso
Tanggaping marapat ang alay pagsamo
Ng dinusta nila’t itinuring na sinto!

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3 07 2010
etchosera

Bwahahahahaha!

Ayyy! Tama po ba ang reaction ko?

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4 07 2010
MPRivera

etchos,

mali! dapat iiyak ka muna. sabay tawa.

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1 07 2010
shee

They say James shall be the secretary of Foreign affairs. But Kris said he is all affairs, no “Foreign”

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2 07 2010
jianne

thank you PGMA. best of luck PBA

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3 07 2010
MPRivera

ano? tengkyu PGMA? for what?

Aaaaah. Tama. tengkyu for vacating malakanyang at itinira pa ‘yung mga mamahaling kasangkapan, hindi hinakot. pero dapat wala ng P as in president. hindi naman elected by the pipol siya, eh.

Panggulo lang.

Like

2 07 2010
timangkey

LOL at the pic above!

Si Renato Corona sumisilip thinking sya sana ung nagka conduct ng oath taking ni Noynoy.hahaha

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2 07 2010
phreddox

aw amplastic ng ngiti ni GMA! loL!

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3 07 2010
MPRivera

pati ngiti, silicon?

kelan ba naging maganda ‘yang buset na ‘yan?

gilagid na maitim
ngusong nangangapal
nagmumurang nunal
at susong itinapal.

Like

2 07 2010
senior60

re photo of the weak

parang inaasar ni gloria si noynoy pero hindi umubra…

re: circular no. 1 ni noynoy

palpak agad, ano ba yan, kaka-umpisa pa lang…

Like

2 07 2010
Alunsina Nunez

talagang kailangan kong umalis sa rss email para lang mag comment.

panalo ang post na ito. muntik na kong mahulog sa upuan sa katatawa.

singlaki pero di sing mahal. hahahaha.

bravo. sa post na ito’y nahigitan mo na naman ang sarili mo.

Like

3 07 2010
Noynoy

mataba pa nga si Ate Shawie kesa kay Juana Change!

Like

2 07 2010
notchfilter

Nice one PH.
Swabeng punchline mga Kristeta hirit. heehee

Like

2 07 2010
sachi

i was there! ;p mabuhay ang pilipinas!

Like

2 07 2010
karaangbugoy

Charice’s gown is hideous!

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3 07 2010
sdramos

i do agree with you there…

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2 07 2010
Scorpion 13

PH nice job again really satisfying quotes. My unsolicited advise to P-Noy since you have finished your speech I think now is the time to prove to the people that entrust their votes to you that you have to start working and do not forget they are watching you and expecting that you will deliver a good production of your accomplishment for the first 100 days. God bless you.

Like

2 07 2010
JR Lopez Gonzales

“Sinlaki pero ‘di singmahal…”
– Got to love that.

What PH is saying here is true, Kahit sa papaano naman ay may awa ang Maykapal at hindi si Erap ang naging presidente. 🙂

Like

2 07 2010
eufems

Supppppppppeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr like

reminds me of @PCOSmachine’s tweet

‘ Say it with me now: Former President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo.’

Like

3 07 2010
MPRivera

ah, i’d rather say NEVER president gloria macagarapal arrovo.

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3 07 2010
epalicious_waaaaa

Bwahaahaahahaaaaa As usual dami na namng KISSASS dito! ang OA mag react sa mga tirades…kahit di naman nakakatawa. Nangingisay at nagtutuwad kuno ang drama sa kakatawa. Halatang KISSASS for whatever reason. Bwahahahaha……
O, mister hecler, delete mo na. This post wont see the light of day anyway…..

Like

3 07 2010
john

hindi naman nag delete si PH, pero sisiguraduhin nyang hanggang ISA ka lang!!! 😀

epal ka talaga! 😀

Like

3 07 2010
jianne

may blog ka ‘teh? pa-send naman ng link para magtutuwad kami sa kakatawa

Like

4 07 2010
etchosera

Well…….we’d rather kiss his ass than your face!

You’re so pathetic!

In furnace, consistent ka sa pagka-epal mo! Hmmmp!

Like

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