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SURPRISES

27 06 2010

Corona Invited
Finally, the camp of President-elect Noynoy Aquino formally invited Chief Justice Renato Corona to his inauguration on Wednesday. Yes, after rejecting the guy, Noynoy now wants Corona to witness another SC justice swear him in. The Aquino camp says, “Nahhh, no big deal. We’re just adding his name to the guest list” to which a Corona ally replied, “Nahhh, you’re adding insult to injury.”

Reports say the camp of President-elect Noynoy Aquino has formally sent an invitation to Chief Justice Renato Corona for Wednesday’s inaugural. But Corona allegedly returned the invitation because the envelope contained two bleacher tickets.

Surprise Number
Maria Montelibano, head of President-elect Aquino’s media bureau says Noynoy will do a “surprise song number” at the street party on Wednesday, June 30. Montelibano declined to reveal the title of Noynoy’s song but rumors say he’s choosing between The Platters’ “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” and Madonna’s “Like A Virgin.”

Star-Studded Concert
President-elect Noynoy Aquino will sing at the street party on June 30. Celebrities like Anne Curtis, Jed Madela, Jake Cuenca, Nina, Jovit Baldovino, Pokwang, Kim Chiu, Gerald Anderson, Vhong Navarro, Mariel Rodriguez, Rayver Cruz, Billy Crawford, Coco Martin, Melai Cantiveros, Jason Francisco, Matteo Guidicelli, Ejay Falcon, Queenie Padilla, Zaijan Jaranilla, Xyriel Manabat, and Pooh will also attend the event dubbed “ASAP meets Wowowee Live in Kyusi!”

President-elect Noynoy Aquino will perform at the street party at the Quezon City Memorial Circle on June 30 together with celebrities like Jake Cuenca, Jovit Baldovino, Pokwang, Kim Chiu, Gerald Anderson, Vhong Navarro, Rayver Cruz, Billy Crawford, Coco Martin, Melai Cantiveros, Jason Francisco, Matteo Guidicelli, Ejay Falcon, Queenie Padilla, and Zaijan Jaranilla. ABS-CBN is really excited. This by far will be the biggest event ever to be staged to welcome a new member of Star Magic.

Unity Concert
Maria Montelibano, head of President-elect Noynoy Aquino’s media bureau insists the celebration on Wednesday will be a “unity concert” because both Kapamilya and Kapuso artists will perform. She didn’t mention anything though about the Kapatid artists. In totally unrelated report, TV5 big boss Manny V. Pangilinan donated 15 million pesos to Joseph Estrada’s election campaign.

Top 5 Production Numbers that Could Surprise Us at the Street Party to Celebrate Noynoy Aquino’s Victory

No. 5: With Jed Maddela, Albay Governor Joey Salceda performing a Lady Gaga medley

No. 4: Dinky Soliman and the Hyatt 10 singing “If We Hold On (Together)” R&B version

No. 3: Kris Aquino and James Yap performing a duet of the Phil Collins classic “Separate Lives”

No. 2: Members of The Firm reviving the ‘90s hit “Back for Good” by the boy group Take That

And the No. 1 production number that could surprise us at the Noynoy Aquino street party on Wednesday, June 30…

Korina Sanchez dedicating the song “Kung Ako Na Lang Sana” to the new president

In Other News…
Outgoing president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo will preside her last Cabinet meeting on Tuesday, June 29. Mrs. Arroyo is reportedly getting emotional. You know, Malacañang will always have a special place in her heart. It’s where she saw her political maturity develop, her family expand, and her breasts grow.

Erap’s Daughter
Jerika Ejercito, daughter of former president Joseph Estrada with mistress Laarni Enriquez twitted, “Everyone on Facebook seems to agree with me that Lito Lapid is really and definitely a waste of space” to which the re-elected Kapampangan senator replied, “Whateber! ‘Di ko naman naintindihan ang English mo. Belat!”


Viveka Babajee, 37
Remember Miss Mauritius-Universe Viveka Babajee? The beauty queen-turned-model, and one-time talent of Annabelle Rama who fled the country in 1994 after being implicated in the Manila Film Fest scam was found dead of apparent suicide in India. The Gutierrezes will sponsor a mass for Babajee who was instrumental in making Ruffa Gutierrez ‘best actress’ – for 10 minutes.

———————————
“Always mystify, mislead and surprise the enemy if possible.”
~Thomas J. Jackson

Survey Says
VP-Elect Jejomar Binay has declined any Cabinet post. Your take:
Okay lang ‘yon. No problem. 30%
Lagot! Nagtampo si Rambotito! 38%
Wala akong pakialam! 32%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Briefly Noted
Sharing you this witticism I found through a WordPress link:

The favorite sport of unemployed people is basketball.
The favorite sport of people earning minimum wage is football.
The favorite sport of people working in an office is baseball.
The favorite sport of CEOs is golf.
What’s the moral of this? As you move up in management, your balls get smaller

Reports say Noynoy Aquino’s favorite sport is shooting.
Hmmm.

Have a great week ahead!

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34 responses

27 06 2010
MPRivera

“Whateber! ‘Di ko naman naintindihan ang English mo. Belat!”

Patok!

Galeng mo’ng mang-asar pero tumpak!

Ano ibig sabihin nito?

Tanga ang mga kabalen at sangkapinuyang bumoto sa bobong si Ben Leon Guerero Tumbling.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Ngooooooooorrrrrrkkkk!

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27 06 2010
Anonymous

sana kung matalino ka, naging senador ka na. Inggit lang iyan.

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28 06 2010
danny

Sana kung matalino ka, naging presidente ka na. Ay mali, pwede palang maging presidente ang Penoy lang.

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27 06 2010
enertia

kung kaya mo ang ginawa niya hatiin ang bala, sasang-ayun ako sa sinabi mo na tanga ang mga pinoy. Inggit lang iyan ang naging senador siya,

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27 06 2010
MPRivera

He he heh!

Bilib pala kayo sa ganyang klase ng senador (ba ‘yan?)

Bakit ba kayo umaangal samantalang hindi naman kayo ang sinasabi kong tanga?

Kasama ba kayo sa mga tangang bumoto sa kanya?

Paano’ng aasenso ang Pilipinas kung ganyan ang mga klase ng magiging mambabatas (ba ‘yan o mambubutas)?

Tsk. tsk. tsk.

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28 06 2010
BAROK

LOL…bato-bato sa langit ang tamaan wag magagalit 🙂

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28 06 2010
MPRivera

Ay, Atcheng! Sa pelokola lang kaya ni Ben Tumbling ‘yun.

Ako? Less than twenty years sa Mindanao, nakipagpatintero ako sa bala ng kalaban. Hindi ko nga minsan malaman kung paano isusubsob ang mukha ko kahit labas ang puwet huwag la’ang tamaan ng bala. Hindi ko rin akalaing talo ko pa sina Lydia de Vega sa bilis ng pagtakbo kapag may putukan na.

Awa ng Diyos, eto ako, dahil sa katatakbo, nirarayuma na.

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27 06 2010
MPRivera

“…..It’s where she saw her political maturity develop, her family expand, and her breasts grow.”

Je je je je jeh!

Silicon lady.

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27 06 2010
willa

love it when you said “In Malacanang…..it is where GMA’s breasts grew harharhar

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27 06 2010
etchosera

Panalo ang sing ni Teh Koring! Wahahahaha!

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27 06 2010
john

NICE PH!!! 😀

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27 06 2010
garju101

Nice one Mr.PH!! Love the dig about GMA’s tits….I’m certain moving forward, with Noynoy at the helm, your blogs will be even more hilarious. We just had a “political joke” elected to the highest position in the country. Goodluck to him and to us of course. We survived the first Aquino government I’m sure our nation will survive this second Aquino administration.

My small contribution to help promote our Country abroad hope you will allow me to share this:

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27 06 2010
ling

love this post! gusto ko yung top 5 production numbers sa inauguration in PNoy, lalo na yung Jed Madela and Gov. Joey Salceda doing a Lady Gaga medley! Papapatok talaga yan!

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27 06 2010
etchosera

Lola Gaygah is more like it!

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27 06 2010
MPRivera

Reports say Noynoy Aquino’s favorite sport is shooting.
Hmmm.

No more balls?

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27 06 2010
jianne

may balls pa rin. ballet… ay bullet nga pala yon 🙂

nice one PH

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27 06 2010
Mark

talagang ayaw lang mg patalo ni kris kay noynoy! ilang araw na lang presidente na si noynoy, dapat kailangan ng mas matalbugan niya kapatid niya, yan makikipag hiwalay siya ky james yap, anu ba yan, ang daming ka artehan sa buhay, leche ka kris aquino

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27 06 2010
rhozza

i super love this post! hahaha. panalong-panalo!

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27 06 2010
World Wide News Flash

SURPRISES « The Professional Heckler…

I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)…

Like

27 06 2010
teacherhima

I lol’ed hard at the top 5 production numbers, the PGMA part, and the last one.

This post is made of total fail (on their part), and total win (on yours). EPIC talaga 😀

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27 06 2010
stalker

nakakalungkot, nasapawan na naman ni kris ang kuya nya tsk!

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27 06 2010
jasper

albay gov joey salceda will sing michael v’s HINDI AKO BAKLA.

vp binay to sing THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL and dedicate to mar and korina.

loren rehersing HOY, LUMAPIT KA.

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27 06 2010
etchosera

okey…. fine. NEXT!

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29 06 2010
MPRivera

Ano ‘yan, pilahan?

Saan ba ang ruta ha, etchos?

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27 06 2010
MPRivera

Baka sinasabi mo ‘yung Babae po ako ni Martes Vargas.

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28 06 2010
tongressman

hahahaha. nice blog!

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28 06 2010
senior60

i find this whole inauguration preparation overacting na,

over exaggerated pa…

bakit kaya gagawing a no-fly zone ang quirino grandstand

during the inauguration ceremony?

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28 06 2010
checkmate

nyahaha meron pa palang umaangal na waste of space si sen. lito lapid na merong isang contribution sa mga batas natin. kung ung wala ngang nagawa kahit isa naging presidente, walang umaangal…

Like

28 06 2010
irropoi

db prng mgk-level lng c n sen lito lapid and ex-sen noynoy aquino
s senate?,seat mate cl s row four,s bndng likuran mlpit s cr.
sby din clng ng hihinty ng recess at uwian.
in terms of accomplishment…wala,nada,nothing!!!but…
one was re-elected and the other one becomes the president!!!

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28 06 2010
c.lima

per jerika ejercito’s comment that Lito Lapid is a waste of space, so are jinggoy, bong, and erap!

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28 06 2010
hikatalomato

parang fifa worldcup

kris aquino: 1 point
noynoy: jero (how boholanos pronounce the number zero)

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29 06 2010
DrahciR

to professional heckler’s fans:

could we have a fanpage in facebook? i really like this guy. his humor is so REAL……

Like

29 06 2010
MPRivera

Faith healer pala si Noynoy, no?

Tingnan n’yo ‘yung piktyur niya sa itaas.

Hindi pala. Nag-aaral maging magician at kukumpitensiyahin niya si Chriss Angel.

Like

24 02 2011
christian esguerra

ano ba pinagkaiba ni lito lapid sa tatay mo? baka ang anak nya sa kabit humihirit din nang sablay katulad mo, bobo.

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