CLASHES

IN TELEVISION AND RADIO interviews, former Tarlac Rep. Jose ‘Peping’ Cojuangco Jr. insisted, “I never, never campaigned for (my close friend) Jojo Binay. Ako ay Noy-Mar and I supported the tandem of… ” Cojuangco was compelled to cut short his statement when he felt that his chin was starting to grow.

President-elect Noynoy Aquino’s uncle, Peping Cojuangco denied that he supported the VP bid of Jejomar Binay, and insisted that he campaigned for Mar Roxas. In fact, Roxas won in every area where Peping made a pitch for him… except in the Cojuangco household.

Kris and James Spat
Reports say the most outspoken sister of President-elect Noynoy Aquino, TV host Kris Aquino, and husband James Yap are having marital problems yet again. The latest quarrel started when Kris and James, well… got married.

Even if he’s president now, Noynoy Aquino vows to give advice to Kris, and brother-in-law, James Yap whose marriage is on the rocks again. If he’s too busy with the affairs of the state, Noynoy will just let Kris and James seek advice… from his alter ego, Mar Roxas.

To spare President-elect Noynoy Aquino from intrigues, Kris Aquino will quit SNN and The Buzz this week. To further spare President-elect Noynoy Aquino from further intrigues, Kris Aquino will quit her marriage.

According to Kris Aquino’s best friend Boy Abunda, “May pinagdadaanang seryoso ang aking kaibigan.” To give you an idea how serious Kris’ problem is, when she texted her husband and threatened to call it quits, James Yap replied, “Thankz pohwzzz lolz!”

Kris Aquino has reportedly suspended her Twitter.Com and Facebook.Com accounts. But she opened a new account in PerfectMatch.Com

Yusoph Kidnapping
Now this is insane. A son of controversial Comelec Second Division Commissioner Elias Yusoph has been kidnapped by armed men who demanded that election results in several towns in Lanao del Sur be voided. In totally unrelated news, Comelec Commissioner Gregorio Larrazabal was unable to sleep last night when losing Quezon City mayoral candidate Annie Susano asked him through text, “May anak ka na?”

DepEd vs. CBCP, Again!
An anti-family planning group led by CBCP’s former legal counsel, Jo Imbong has filed a class suit against the Department of Education seeking to stop it from teaching sex education because it makes students “sex-obsessed.” Really?!? You mean sex education is being taught in seminaries?

Smokers
According to the 2009 Global Adult Tobacco Survey, there are 17.3 million cigarette smokers in the country today. I heard they even formed a group to defend their habit. The group’s leader is called ‘president.’

Charice on Glee
Filipina singing sensation Charice will be part of the second season of the hit TV series, “Glee.” Not to be outdone, basketball star James Yap is reportedly auditioning for the next season of “The Bachelor.”

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“Family quarrels are bitter things. They don’t go by any rules. They’re not like aches or wounds; they’re more like splits in the skin that won’t heal because there’s not enough material.”
~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Survey Says
FVR for Ramos, PGMA for Gloria, JPE for Estrada. Ano ang dapat kay Noynoy?
PNoy (President Noynoy) 25%
PBSA (President Benigno Simeon Aquino) 7%
PNA (President Noynoy Aquino) 17%
Ambot sa imo! 51%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere
Newsbreak: The ‘influential’ Danny Lim?

Manila Standard Today: Inquirer chickens out

PDI columnist and ANC host Manolo Quezon compiled some fascinating facts and figures on Noynoy and Binay

Enjoy the rest of the week!

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

33 thoughts on “CLASHES”

    1. instead sisihin ang deped sa pagbaba ng attendance ng mga bagets sa kumbento, dapat gawin ng mga pari ay lakihan ang budget sa mga “youth programs” nila. passe na kasi tactic ng mga pari kaya pakonti ng pakonti ang tumatambay na bagets sa kumbento. di na kasi umiinom ng red wine at namumulutan ng communion bread mga bagets ngayon. dapat san mig light na with matching malutong na chicharon.

      ————-
      singular form of species is species also.

      Like

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