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GETTING READY

15 06 2010


Back To School
Classes officially opened today, June 15. For newbies, it’s when they start to learn, experiment, meet new friends and enemies, get mocked and sometimes, bullied by more powerful people around them, and then evaluated with a pass or fail grade… exactly the same things that await our new president on June 30.

School and Pacman
Just a few hours after he arrived yesterday from Canada, Manny Pacquiao was present on Day 1 of his 10-day certificate course at the Development Academy of the Philippines. Rumors say though Pacquiao went home disappointed when he learned that sex education wouldn’t be part of the curriculum.

Something odd happened on Day 1 of Manny Pacquiao’s 10-day certificate course at the Development Academy of the Philippines in Pasig City. Pacquiao refused to leave the classroom… and waited for the final bell.

Lecturers at the Development Academy of the Philippines plan to orient Jinkee Pacquiao on the role of a Congressional spouse. Jinkee, who joined Pacman at the DAP yesterday, was reportedly shocked when lecturers informed her that wives of congressmen have other things to do aside from shopping.

Manny Pacquiao is returning to school after winning the congressional race in Sarangani Province. Meanwhile, his opponent, Roy Chiongbian is starting a career in boxing.

Net Worth
Based on his 2009 Statement of Assets and Liabilities, Sen. Manny Villar is still the richest senator with a net worth of 947.88 million pesos. That figure could have been higher if Villar didn’t try to buy the entire country during the campaign.

Noynoy’s Media Men
President-elect Noynoy Aquino has chosen ANC host and Inquirer columnist Manuel Quezon III as his spokesperson for inauguration-related news while award-winning journalist and ANC anchor Ramon ‘Ricky” Carandang will reportedly be part of Noynoy’s media group. There’s no truth to rumors though that ANC has replaced NBN4 as the official government station.

Noynoy’s Plea
President-elect Noynoy Aquino is trying to reconcile his allies who disagree because of politics. The other day, he called on Mar Roxas and Chiz Escudero to settle their differences. If Noynoy succeeds in uniting Mar and Chiz, he’ll then try to reconcile Korina and Kris.

Reports say President-elect Noynoy Aquino wants Mar Roxas and Chiz Escudero to make up. Joey Salceda volunteers to help.

Noynoy’s Inauguration
On June 30, President-elect Noynoy Aquino will take his oath before Associate Justice Conchita Carpio-Morales. The swearing in will take place at the Quirino Grandstand. On the same night, Korina Sanchez is expected to swear before Mar Roxas at the Araneta Center in Cubao.

The June 30 inauguration of the new president will include Noynoy Aquino’s traditional ride with outgoing president Gloria Arroyo. This early, Noynoy has been practicing, trying to perfect a jump from a speeding vehicle before it hits the grandstand’s concrete fence.

Noynoy’s Designers
According to ABS-CBN News, five designers – JC Buendia, Ivarluski Aseron, Randy Ortiz, Paul Cabral, and Joey Samson will dress up President-elect Noynoy Aquino during his 6-year term. The five fashion experts described the opportunity to enchance Noynoy’s looks… as their toughest job yet.

Noynoy’s Cabinet
President-elect Noynoy Aquino says the composition of his cabinet will be known this week. So far, nine have already said yes to his invitation to join his administration. They are Dinky Soliman (DSWD), Ding Deles (peace process), Jojo Ochoa (executive secretary), Edwin Lacierda (spokesman) and the five designers.

Jejomar or Jesse?
President-elect Noynoy Aquino is reportedly choosing between Vice President-elect Jejomar Binay and Naga City mayor Jesse Robredo for the DILG post. Binay has been vocal about his desire to take on the DILG portfolio but members of the civil society want Robredo. Since it’s a hell of a dilemma, Noynoy plans to consult Madam Auring.

Miss U 2008 in RP
The 2008 Miss Universe from Venezuela, Dayana Mendoza, and now Smartmatic’s Ambassador for Transparency is in the country to personally congratulate Filipinos for the peaceful conduct of elections. Meanwhile, in totally unrelated news, outgoing senator Jamby Madrigal and outgoing Quezon City Rep Annie Susano have both retracted their accusations against Smartmatic and congratulated the IT group for a job well done.
————————
“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
~ Derek Curtis Bok

Briefly Noted
FM for Marcos. FVR for Ramos. PGMA for Gloria. And now PNoy for Aquino? WTF! Puwede ba, tigilan na ang pagpapauso ng kung anu-anong pagpapapogi. The campaign is over. He is the president now! Use PNA for President Noynoy Aquino. Besides, (and no offense) we don’t want Visayans to call him Penoy, do we? Sounds like infertile egg to me.

Survey Says
Pabor ba kayo sa pagkakaroon ng revolving First Ladies (Ballsy, Pinky, Viel and Kris)?
Why not? Try natin! 30%
‘Wag na lang. Parang magulo. 27%
Ayaw ko na ‘yang problem

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere
UP Professor Solita Monsod (BusinessWorld): How to solve a problem like Jejomar Binay

Newsbreak: For most nat’l candidates, bailiwicks didn’t deliver


Personal
Still, Lakers! Believe.
‘Nuff said.

The Who
It happened during an out-of-town show. After the program, the cast and crew went swimming. Everyone had fun except for promising new actor who felt so uncomfortable because closet TV host (CTV) kept hitting on him. “Binakuran” – as one witness described it. Was CTV ‘successful?’ Sources say, na-ah. Bokya!

If you want to know the identity of the CTV, just ask Susan Sarandon and Helena Bonham Carter and they’ll surely respond in the affirmative. As for the promising actor, his name reminds us of one of the best presidents we never had.

Enjoy the rest of the week!

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99 responses

15 06 2010
jaypee W.

galing galing talaga ni ph.. magandang pang-umpisa na naman to ng isang mahabang araw ko 🙂

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15 06 2010
Willie

As usual, funny stuff. LOL on the ANC-NBN4 item. 😉

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15 06 2010
Liezl

The part of “we don’t want Visayans to call him Penoy, do we?” is uncomfortable.

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16 06 2010
eufems

I’d rather prefer NA (Noynoy Aquino) :))

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16 06 2010
sam

kurek ka dyan, eufems…

NA—not applicable. noynoy aquino.

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17 06 2010
checkmate

hehe to each his/her own, for me mas maganda PNA with matching Mar Roxas beside him saying “P. NA, tumabi ka, ako na!” ^^

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15 06 2010
kamote

matry ulit. bakit ayaw iapprove?

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15 06 2010
bogart rex

yup. uncomfortable nga. me konting tama sa mga visayans. actually, di naman un babanggitin as PE-NOY, but PI-NUY. anyhow, sana avoid na lang mga ganyang jokes. di na heckling iyon e. insult na iyon… tink kyu.

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15 06 2010
Oblak

Tinuud!!!

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15 06 2010
john

PH!!!

PRESENT!!! 😀 😀 😀

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15 06 2010
TOMADOR

CELTICS in 6!! LOL

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16 06 2010
phreddox

sawsaw parekoy! heheh

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15 06 2010
island.fish

First! Sino kaya tong nasa “The Who”..

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16 06 2010
Belisema

bka Kuya Germs at Ralph Salazar 🙂

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15 06 2010
Sheila

hahahahah ang haba ng entry ah..

i guess under d new admin, this blog will be more fun…

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15 06 2010
Martian

First time to leave a comment. I’ve been reading your posts for a month now and I really find them hilarious! :)) I think Noy was supposed to be called “PBSA” (President Benigno Simeon Aquino) until Noy decided he wants to be called P-Noy. Lol at Penoy. :))

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16 06 2010
Matteo

since GMA ang outgpoing, dapat ABS na lang si Noynoy: Aquino Benigno Simeon. well, meron din namang bearing ang initials.

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15 06 2010
john

i agree PH… with P-Noy, i don’t even understand what does it stands for… he is already the President, should have some decency in it!!!

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15 06 2010
boy jammer

mr PH, he he, gawa ka din ng item sa pagkatalo ng fakers

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15 06 2010
rajon rondo

nice article mr. kobe 😀

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15 06 2010
professionalheckler

HUMANDA KA RONDO! Di ka makakaiskor bukas!

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15 06 2010
annenoneymous

sir, si ****** ba yung CTV? penge naman clue don sa young actor, hindi ko ma-gets :p

btw, your blog is super cool! ang galing!

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15 06 2010
professionalheckler

tama! hahaha ka sa CTV

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15 06 2010
annenoneymous

si ***** ***** po ba yung young actor?

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15 06 2010
professionalheckler

taaaama!

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15 06 2010
rajon rondo

uhm first pala. parang boston…

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15 06 2010
sybil_dibs

si CTV ba eh ay part ng isang G**** na kinakalaban ng isang foreigner sa blog?

tapos si promising actor ay isang artistang nanggaling sa isang talent search… front runner pero hindi nanalo… dahil mejo mayabang daw… tama ba? weheheh

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15 06 2010
TGE Blog Admin

present PH..

ewan ko ba sa mga tawag tawag na yan basta ako i call him President Aquino II 🙂

saglit lang sa the who at medyo mahirap 🙂

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15 06 2010
mervyn

di ba si ********** tapos si ****** yun?hahaha.sorry sa pag-spoil.ansakit kasi sa mata nung asterisks.hahahahaha

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15 06 2010
professionalheckler

yup. sila yun.

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16 06 2010
sam

PH, di ko talga gets yun the WHO……kakalito yun asterisks….

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15 06 2010
rhozza

nyay, di ko talaga magets. konting clue pa PH!

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16 06 2010
Flavours of Iloilo

CTV- *********
PROMISING NEW ACTOR – *********
happened during *****************@ ******* weeks ago

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16 06 2010
kristetaklesa

DA WHO DECODE:

Susan Sarandon —>************
Helena Bonham Carter—->********—-> ****** *******(CTV)

Raul ROCCO—–>**************** (******** actor)

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16 06 2010
lakers forever

kilala ko na ung CTV=******
Ung baguhang aktor=***** *******.

Yehey go laker go

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16 06 2010
professionalheckler

tama

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16 06 2010
senior60

more than pnoy which they themselves have coined sa
pangunguna ni kris, mas kinikilabutan ako sa several
times na na sinabi ni noynoy na ” i am the president kaya
blah blah blah ” of which the recent victim is binay re his
intention to be the dilg secretary…

of course he is, may kumukontra ba? kailangan ba talaga
mang terrorize?

at na terrorize nga si binay, sabi pa nya with all humility
na ok na raw sa kanya kahit anong position ibigay sa kanya
para hindi na sya maging sanhi ng problem pa…

pero ngayon, siguro sa bisa ng payo ni kris, he softened on
his stand, pwede pa naman daw pag-uusapan ang tungkol
doon na siguro ikinalulundag ni binay sa tuwa….

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17 06 2010
checkmate

sir senior60, masyado po atang mataas ang expectations nyo sa ating bagong presidente, wag po kayong mag-alala may maganda ring mangyayari, konting tiis lang hehehehe ^_^

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16 06 2010
gp

yung promising young actor si Coco Martin. Si CTV si ******, na kasama sa *********. Tama?

Beat L.A.!

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16 06 2010
professionalheckler

mali at tama!

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16 06 2010
Belisema

Reports say President-elect Noynoy Aquino wants Mar Roxas and Chiz Escudero to make up. Joey Salceda volunteers to help.

>> : D ang vruhang joey s eh ndi nga kyang ayusin ang kanyang mala-buwan na mukha na nahulugan ng durian..tutulong pa sa mga make-over nina mareng marimar at chizka. kaloka!!

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16 06 2010
sam

belisema, tama ka sa durian…pero feeling ko, hindi nahulugan ng durian yun c kumareng joey….

nun nagdadalaga cya me nakaaway cya. binato nya ng sandamakmak na lanzones at rambutan ang kaaway nya, bumawi c kaaway nya, binato siya ng durian…..using a catapult!

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16 06 2010
Belisema

Noynoy’s Designers
According to ABS-CBN News, five designers – JC Buendia, Ivarluski Aseron, Randy Ortiz, Paul Cabral, and Joey Samson will dress up President-elect Noynoy Aquino during his 6-year term. The five fashion experts described the opportunity to enchance Noynoy’s looks… as their toughest job yet.

>> 😀 tru ka dyan. mahirap ayusan si P.Noy from head to foot.. so chaka doll 😀

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16 06 2010
sam

kurektus ka dyan belisima….in the news nga ala pa sa bearing nya ang presidente na cya. anu ba yun! and he’s so bratty and vindictive huh!

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16 06 2010
Belisema

Jejomar or Jesse?
President-elect Noynoy Aquino is reportedly choosing between Vice President-elect Jejomar Binay and Naga City mayor Jesse Robredo for the DILG post. Binay has been vocal about his desire to take on the DILG portfolio but members of the civil society want Robredo. Since it’s a hell of a dilemma, Noynoy plans to consult Madam Auring.

>>> 😀 sino kaya ang pipiliin ni Kris aka Madam Auring, ano sa tingin mo Shalani 😀

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16 06 2010
timpaul

Prof, as I couldn’t take a leave from work, I wouldn’t be able to watch the game today. So Celtics will win and be the NBA champions again at LA’s expense. I am so sorry.

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16 06 2010
etchosera

sorry to burst your bubble timpaul, but Lakers beat Celtics easily this time.
Ayan, abangan ang tunay na salpukan sa Game 7.

Ah basta, loyal ako kay Rafael Nadal! Hmmmp!

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16 06 2010
timpaul

yeah. Humbly accepted. It was painful to watch.

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16 06 2010
religiousboy

Kung sino ang di kurakot at di corrupt sa dalawa, yun ang dapat. Kailangan pa bang i-memorize yan?

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16 06 2010
karaangbugoy

I’m a Visayan. This is a heckling blog. No offense sa Penoy. We have worse names for him.

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16 06 2010
professionalheckler

thanks for being understanding. 🙂

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16 06 2010
senior60

ang mga puso ninyo mister heckler at maliittitik-0…

go lakers go for 3-3…..

score as of typing time: 51-70

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16 06 2010
Worried Pinoy

Bat ganun? Tambak ang Boston??? wahahaha… See you on Game Seven!

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16 06 2010
boy bisaya

boston has the exp. winning all 4 game 7 in previous finals, and no doubt mananalo pa rin ngayon..go boston go!

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16 06 2010
etchosera

LAKERS, and not just Kobe for the Championships!

Uragon ini!

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16 06 2010
joey m

On Smartmatic’s Ambassador for Transparency, Miss U Dayana Mendoza …. hindi yata bagay ang pangalan niya, “DAYA-NA” for an election-related PR sweetening mission, lalo na “transparency.” Ano sa tingin mo, PH?

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16 06 2010
Super Junior60

Looks like Mbenga will have some playing time today…

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16 06 2010
darkcheron

Gets ko na kung sino yung CTV. Sya yung feeling nya kilala nya lahat sa showbiz at friends nya at yan yung sinasabing glorified pusher daw ng mga socialites ahahaha.

Eh di ko sure yung actor. Sya ba yung di nanalo sa talent search na recently lumabas sa isang soap na remake ng isang movie sa kapuso network as one of the leading men ni Jennylyn?

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16 06 2010
professionalheckler

hahaha!

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16 06 2010
BUSTonCeLINTIKS

May mga Pinareha ba Kay Jennylyn na Hindi nanalo sa SS? [Naku,Buking!]

GO LAKERS!!!!!

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16 06 2010
darkcheron

Meron naman. Di naman kasi sya yung primary na leading man eh. Pinatay din yung character nya agad to favor Dennis Trillo’s character hehe. 2nd runner up lang ata sa SS yun.

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16 06 2010
maliittitik_O

ang galing ng men in green, panalo. Go Brazil!

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16 06 2010
stalker

baduy talaga nakaisip ng PNoy na yan!

3-3 na! bring it on haters!

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16 06 2010
Belisema

P.Noy at VP.Nay 😀 mga pinoy tlaga…

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16 06 2010
etchosera

3-3 ka diyan!

3 all na po, no?

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16 06 2010
mel

“outgoing senator Jamby Madrigal and outgoing Quezon City Rep Annie Susano have both retracted their accusations against Smartmatic and congratulated the IT group for a job well done.”

Susano was last seen several days ago at CDR King trying to return the CF cards in her possesion, but was refused by store staff as the warranty period had expired.

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16 06 2010
rian

sino si CTV? kilala ko na si promising actor, pero sino si CTV? wahhh. more clues please.

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16 06 2010
MPRivera

Ayan!

3 – 3 na ang iskor.

Nasaan na ngay’on ang mga mahilig mangantyaw na taga-Boston?

Sige, kantyaw ngay’on at ng kayo ay ma-Celtic (saltik – tirador).

Sabi na sa inyong bilog ang bola, eh,

Ano, eh ‘di natauhan kayo ngay’on.

Ala, ay nakatikim din kayo, ano?

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16 06 2010
maliititik_O

eto na po ang mahilig mangantyaw. tama ka po bilog ang bola at hanggang di pa tapos ang basketball andito pa rin ang mga asarol na celtics.

ayaw kasi ng celtics agawan ng eksema ang brazil kaya one green team lang daw manalo kanina.

e dapat nga kabahan ang lakers. nilabas na naman nila lahat ng swerte nila kaya sa game 7 si kobe na naman mag-isa lalaro. remember game 3 ang galing ni fisher gasol pero pagdating ng game 5 and 6 MIA sila.

basta sa tv namin panalo celtics – game 5 nga lang yun. weno, basta nanalo.

so game 7 – beat L.A.

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16 06 2010
mel

“The 2008 Miss Universe from Venezuela, Dayana Mendoza, and now Smartmatic’s Ambassador for Transparency is in the country…”

dapat sana see-thru ang suot nya :)p

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16 06 2010
Belisema

naku darling, bili ka na lang ng Maxim Magz, US edition…topless doon si Dayana Mendoza…

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16 06 2010
moveout

ang bantot ng PNoy, maryosep, ang engot ng nakaisip.

LAKERS in 7!

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16 06 2010
Lawrence_Patola

Ang lupeet talaga ng Celtics! Pinahaba pa ang pagdurusa ng Lakers. Ano ba yan?

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16 06 2010
maliititik_O

yung gumawa ba ng mukha ni gretchen at jinkee iisang kumpanya. ang sama ng arrive.

beat L.A.

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16 06 2010
jake

Bat naka block yung mga guess ng mga commentators? We cant guess anymore? please please help us reveal who are these people…gusto ko talaga malaman heheehhe…

Btw, whats going on with “make up” and Joey Salceda, is he gay? I didnt get this one….

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16 06 2010
professionalheckler

is joey salceda gay? is the pope catholic?

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17 06 2010
checkmate

nyahahaha naalala ko tuloy ung SP ^^

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16 06 2010
edong_makabayan

daya-na mendoza….pangalan pa lang me anomalya na…hehehe

P-noy….P stands for…Panot, Pangit, Pahamak, Pasaway, Pa..su…, sino bang nakaisip niyan. Please stop this non sense make over…presidente ka na wala na kaming magagawa kaya dapat isipin mo kung paano mo mapaunlad ang pinas.

noon Celtics ako pero noon pa iyon. ngayon LA na siyempre.

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17 06 2010
religiousboy

edong makabayan (ka nga ba?) — matapos mong lait-laitin ng panot (ikaw ilan pa bang natitira sa buhok mo?), pangit (gwapo ka ba?) pahamak (bakeet, kasi talo manok mo?) pasaway (affected ka?) — lakas na loob mong mangaral na dapat mag-isip ang bagong presidente kung paano mapaunlad ang pinas? Haleer! Galing mo pala. alam mong lahat. Dapat yata ikaw ang naging presidente.

At yung namimintas sa P-noy? Anong masama sa P-noy? Anong gusto niyo? Am-boy? Tsi-noy? Ja-poy? C’mon!!!! Ay least yan orig, kahit ano pang kontra gawin niyo.

Ang tama lang sa sinabi mo, edong, presidente na si Noy, at wala KA ng magagawa — magngangawa at magngangawa ka man diyan. Buti pa, nood ka na lang ng NBA. Diyan pwedeng-pwede ang mga balimbing.

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25 06 2010
Zashime

so what’s your problem Mr. religious boy, isn’t we are in a democratic country, to which each is entitled to his own opinion??? When GMA is still our president did we insult her with names too? Why does noynoy don’t deserve cristicisms too? I bet I will admire him if he accepts it that not all Filipinos voted for him… 40% did, which there are 60% who didn’t and are bound to watch for and be vigilant on the coming administration to come… naf said, I like PNoy… PENOY, shape of an egg, makes me think of how many laws he did pass while he was still on senate, 0…. zero! 😉

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16 06 2010
jake

i think the promising actor is one of the Roco twins… Raul Rocco is “one of the best presidents we never had.” but the CTV? sino yan? Kuya Germs is not CTV, isn’t it? Though if it isnt him than im guessing it’s either Tim Yap or Richard Guitterez… I dont even find the Roco twins hot…hehehehe oh PH, please please give us more clue…

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16 06 2010
maliititik_O

Lakers fanatics PH included imbitado kayo sa party namin sa QC Circle sabay na kami sa oath taking ng kapwa Celtinatics naming si PNoy-remember the date June 30.

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16 06 2010
bella

congrats sa panalo ng lakers! nilampaso yahu!
(2nd?) lowest point in nba game finals ever! boston sucks hehe

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17 06 2010
froigo

my guess on the blind item:

program: party pilipinas
promising actor: rocco nacino (starstruck runner-up?)
CTV – either richard g. or tim yap

tama ba?

di ko lang gets ang reference to Susan Sarandon and HBC 🙂

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17 06 2010
Super Junior60

Both of them are married to guys named **** :p

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6 07 2010
edongmapangarapin

Parehong Tim ang mga pangalan ng asawa nina Susan Sarandon (hiwalay na pala) at HBC. Sina Tim Robbins at Tim Burton.

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17 06 2010
Caturay

What’s with the freaking asterisks??? Spill the goddam beans! Sakit sa ulo mag-isip e. 😀

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17 06 2010
Caturay

Ahh. CTV is Tim Yap (Susan and Helena both partnered with Tims) but is Yap closeted? Hello? May closeted bang malantik pa sa pilikmata ni Lady Gaga kung umasta?

Actor is Rocco as in Raul.

Got it finally.

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17 06 2010
jo

FM, FVR, PGMA… technically dapat BSA si noynoy…di ba?

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17 06 2010
Dyoiskupo

CTV — ******? Closet queen ba sya? Kala ko nagladlad na sya..

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17 06 2010
TOMADOR

Celtics lost in 6, fine!

See you in Game 7!!

CELTICS!!!! FTW!!!

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17 06 2010
tin

Kaloka..bading pala si Richard G? Harhar 😀

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17 06 2010
BUSTonCeLINTIKS

I think Kambal niya yun….Hindi naman Marunong Mag-host si Richard 😆

GO LAKERS!

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17 06 2010
JR Lopez Gonzales

Bisaya pud ko. Which does not just refer to Cebuanos but also Ilonggos (which I am one). The Penoy joke is not offensive naman. I understand and yup, the idea of the new name sounded perfectly awful. Like words coming out of Kris Aquino’s mouth.

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17 06 2010
hapeeism

Blind Item:

CTV: is ******. Susan Sarandon had a relationship with Tim Burton while Helena Bonham Carter also dated Tim Burton (had a relationship?)

PROMISING ACTOR: is *************. He’s a runner up in the recently concluded Starstruck (star-search of GMA-7).

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18 06 2010
Lulu Mia

Susan Sarandon was married to Tim Robbins and Helena-Bonham Carter has a son with Tim Burton. The CTV is Tim Yap. Why closeted, nagladlad na yun a? Rocco Nacino yung actor…ewww!

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19 06 2010
rhozza

galing mo @ lulu mia. naks. makakatulog na ako ng mahimbing.

Like

19 06 2010
rhozza

galing mo @ lulu mia. naks. makakatulog na ako ng mahimbing.

Like

25 01 2011
GETTING READY « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

[…] the rest here: GETTING READY « The Professional Heckler This entry was posted in Jokes and tagged aquino, call-him, heckling-iyon, konting-tama, […]

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