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IDOLS

27 05 2010

LEE DEWYZE is the new American Idol! After a nationwide vote, the shy and humble paint store clerk from Illinois was declared winner over young mother Crystal Bowersox of Ohio. Industry analysts say though that Bowersox is a better performer than DeWyze. Well, it does happen: better performers losing the vote? Hey, it just happened right here last May 10!

Since Day 1 of American Idol Season 9, the judges have been hinting of a Crystal Bowersox win. She has always been the frontrunner… until Chiz Escudero came out with an ad supporting Lee DeWyze.

Lee DeWyze has been declared winner of American Idol Season 9. Immediately after his win, various groups advised him to quit smoking.

America has voted and Lee DeWyze is crowned the new American Idol. Guess what, something odd happened during the finalé. As the official results were being announced, Annie Susano and Robert Ace Barbers suddenly appeared and claimed that massive fraud took place during the voting.

Morato’s Claim
Former PCSO and MTRCB Chairman Manoling Morato revealed that men approached him and offered to rig the polls in favor of Gilbert Teodoro for one billion pesos. Morato was stunned! Imagine, the men were asking one billion pesos from him! He subsequently rejected the offer saying the most that he had given a man was P1,500. Two hours na ‘yon!


Transition
Representatives of Mrs. Arroyo and Noynoy Aquino are now talking about ‘smooth transition.’ Like this morning, Mrs. Arroyo’s associates toured Noynoy’s men to Malacañang’s designated smoking area.

Congressman Pacquiao
Congressman-elect Manny Pacquiao says he is set to enroll in UP in preparation for his new job as Sarangani representative. Asked if he’s enrolling in a crash course, he replied, “Kungrisista aku, hindi pilutu! Gagu!”

Not True
Singing sensation Charice Pempengco has denied rumors she will appear on the hit US TV show “Glee.” However, it has been confirmed that Mar Roxas will appear on “Lost.”

Charice Pempengco has denied rumors she will appear on “Glee.” It has been confirmed though that Manny Villar will appear on “The Biggest Loser.”

Hot Weather
The weather bureau said temperature in Metro Manila reached 38 degrees on Wednesday! Sought for comment on the hot weather, president-apparent Noynoy Aquino said, “Wala ‘yan! ‘Yung bayaw ko ngang si James Yap, kayang mag-360 degrees!”
—————————–
“If you elect a matinee idol mayor, you’re going to have a musical comedy administration.”
~Robert Moses

Survey Says
Now that Noynoy Aquino has been elected president, should he quit smoking?
YES! Para na rin sa ikabubuti ng kalusugan niya. 44%
NO! Lifestyle niya ‘yun. 17%
WALA akong pakialam kung anumang gawin n’ya sa buhay n’ya! 39%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

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71 responses

27 05 2010
chiwee

first first first…. 🙂

Like

27 05 2010
john

pagka galing-galing mo talaga chiwee! wala ka talagang ginagawa kundi bantayan ang blog ni PH!!! 😀

Congrats!!!

Like

27 05 2010
dede

sempre naman john, my 100 e kaso mukang sabi nya
next week na sya magbibigay ng premyong load,kaya
wala syang 100 load na galing sa kanya (ang gulo)

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27 05 2010
etchosera

Chosku John! kahit may nilagay kang smiley, halata pa rin na nagdaramdam ka sa pagka winona ryder cup ng lola chiwee!

Ahah ahah ahah!

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27 05 2010
dede

weeee congrats! prest ka nanaman ateng!

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27 05 2010
dede

teka teka, pasabit muna tapos pa kodak!

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27 05 2010
john

1st?

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27 05 2010
dede

kongrats john, second honor ka naman.

Like

27 05 2010
jaypee W.

First (loser) 🙂

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27 05 2010
chiwee

lee dewyze rocks…..

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27 05 2010
john

“Kungrisista ako, hindi pilutu! Gagu! 😀

Like

27 05 2010
siyetehan

i love the bit about congressman pacman.

oo nga naman, hindi sya pilutu

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27 05 2010
OZKOSH

Lee DeWyze proved that Dennis Trillo, Piolo Pascual, and Jericho Rosales CAN definitely SING.

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27 05 2010
TGE Blog Admin

Congrats chiwee.. first ka na din. You’ll reward yourself :))

thanks PH, ang gagandang punchlines =))

akala ko kanina, next week pa ang results ng votes sa AI bcoz Congress still wants to investigate the alleged voting fraud =)

Okay sa mga pluggings ha.. “Glee, Lost, The Biggest Loser”, isama mo na din yung philippine version ng “desperate housewives”.. yung “desperate losers”, and dami nyan ngayon dun sa official canvassing sa kongreso =)

“He subsequently rejected the offer saying the most that he had given a man was P1,500. Two hours na ‘yon!” –> WINNER!!!

Like

27 05 2010
dede

hahaha @Admin,
oo nga, yung mga desperate housewives ng mga “Lost” at “Biggest Losers”

Like

28 05 2010
Belisima

si Joshua ang bagong tenant sa kwarto ni Mickey Mouse Arroyo sa Malakanyang.. si Mar sa “Lost”…:D ..si Manny Villar sa “Biggest Loser” 😀 at si Jamby sa “Desperate Housewives”..eh uso na ang revival ngayon…

1. Mar..Ang Lalaking Pinagtaksilan ng Panahon,…(obyus vah?)
2. Manny Villar…Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang…(ito ang obyus!)
3. Jamby Madrigal…Kampanerang Kuba..(pwede rin ang T-Bird at Ako),
4. Gibo ….And God Smile At Me..(divah sabi ni Quiboloy)
5. Erap..Modelong Tanso..(at least model!)
6. Eddie V..Bituing Walang Ningning…(Nasaan na ang 5 Million Votes)
7. NicK Perlas…Bilangin Mo ang Bituin sa Langit ..(dhil talo ka talaga!)
8. Acosta…Ang Hiwaga ng Panday (mas marami pa ang boto kumpara kina Nick, Jamby at JC :D)

9. JC …Sapagkat Kami ay Tao Lamang…(kc ayaw tumanggap ng pagkatalo khit kulelat) and

the winner…Noynoy in….Gumising Ka, Maruja!!..(bkit kaya ayaw mag-asawa..dhil ayaw gumising ang kwan kay Maruja?)

Like

28 05 2010
chiwee

Demented na ba si Manoling Morato at nagpapaniwala sa mga tall tales na yan or is he the one telling us these tales, which, if made into a movie script, tipong Naked Gun and sequels or yung old movie ni Charlie Sheen na puno ng spoof, nag a la Rambo pa siya doon?

Why is Erap questioning the credibility of the first automated elections? Is he doubting the wins of Guia Gomez and Jinggoy?

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27 05 2010
kalokah

shoot!

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27 05 2010
als85

mas bet ko c crystal na mananalo. huhuhuhuhu..okay lang..

(For instance, after inspecting the rooms in Malacañang, both camps have agreed that Mikey Arroyo’s room will be occupied by Joshua Aquino.) Wow..ang swerte naman ni Josh..may especial room para sa kanya..

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27 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

paano’ng magiging suwerte si joshua, eh ‘yung kuwarto ni mickey the horseshit ay kuwadra ng kabayo?

pinamamayahan pa ng mga tuko!

tingnan mo ‘yung kodak ng nanay niya, parang geckong may nunal sa mukha.

Like

28 05 2010
Belisima

ok lang bka swerte nga ang room at mag-increase ng 1100 % ang networth ni Noy2 tulad ni Mickey…

si Glo nman ay lamang lang ng 2 paligo kay Noynoy..kaya OKs lang! 😀

Like

27 05 2010
promdi

syempre noh! kaw ba naman maging special child… e di dapat special lahat.. kasing special ni uncle!

Like

28 05 2010
Mom

I am offended everytime PH readers make reference to Josh – I am not pro-Aquino, but I do have a special-needs child. You can’t possible imagine the challenges and hardships parents are facing with special-needs children. I pray that this does not happen to you.

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28 05 2010
dede

@mom, kaw naman syado kang pikon, ako nga special child din pero di napipikon ngengenge!
no offense pero nanay din ako and having a special child is not a reason to loose your sense of humor,kung naooffend ka, pwedeng sarilinin mo nalang?
when you come here,expect na ang mababasa mo ay mga topic na my “sarcasm”.gets?
if you want purely humor blog, without mentioning “special child” just goole it.

Like

28 05 2010
john

@ Mom, i agree – noon ko pa sinasabi ito dito na sana sa ibang paraan nalang wag ng gawing katatawanan ang isang special child. sabihin nyo na ang gusto nyong sabihin kay Noynoy wag nalang sana isali ang mga bata lalo ang may special na pangangailangan.

hindi sya nakakatuwa… peace.

Like

28 05 2010
dede

ah, ok, bad me, my bad, naduling ako, sa mga readers at commenters pala naka address yung comment ni @mom.

Like

27 05 2010
eufems

Fourth!

Hanga ako sa AI. Walang nagrereklamo na nadaya 🙂 but I’d really love it if Crystal wins.

Oo nga pala, abangan ang paglutang ni Koala Guy… nagka-rigging daw sa botohan :))

Like

31 05 2010
religiousboy

Mom, John — I agree. Okay siguro na magbastusun na tayong lahat pero may limit yan. Sana wag ng isali si Josh or mga special children. Ibang usapan na yan. You have NO IDEA how diffcult it is to have a special child in the family. Yung iba diyan na nag-iisip na pikon kami dahil for fun lang naman iton blog na to, sorry but I find the jokes about special children quite offending and in bad taste. Sana may gawin dito si PH.

Like

27 05 2010
etchosera

Ayyy! Obyus na yan chiwee!

Ayaw mo na talagang maulit ang pamimigay mo ng free wan-O-O load! Talagang siniguro mong ikaw ang magbabasa ng first reading!

Bwahahahahaha!

Like

27 05 2010
chiwee

lokah, hahahahaha.

mah ko bang sinuwerte ako na nag fe-facebook e, biglang pag click ko ng home, lumabas post ni PH na mey bago syang blog. BOOM! e di, nahuli ka ulit, bayan!!!!

I just commented in the previous blog that my vote-buying, este, text load for-the-sake-of-art prize to the first commenter will be once a week na lang, para hindi naman ako mamulubi at baka matagpuan ko na lang ang sarili ko na lumalangoy na pala sa dagat ng basura kasi kinulang ako sa galing at talino sa pag-unawa ng “God’s message” that I am the chosen one, thus, bilang isang transformer, ako ay hindi magnanakaw para kung walang herap, mey ligaya, amen.

Like

27 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

chewee,

male ‘yang kasabehan na ‘yan semola neng agawen ne glurya kay erap ang malakanyang at noong dayaen si ep pi dye noong 2004.

dapat paletan na at sabehen na naton na kong walang erap wala sanang glurya.

Like

28 05 2010
checkmate

nyahaha kulet ng kung walang erap, walang gloria nyahahaha

Like

27 05 2010
rhozza

yehey, medyo malapit sa pagiging una. congrats chiwee!

Like

27 05 2010
dede

“P1,500. Two hours na ‘yon!”

hahaha panalo (psssst pede kaya malaman kung san sya nakakuha nun?)

Like

27 05 2010
etchosera

shhhhh! ibobolong ko na lang sayu! galing ako doon kanena.

ang sarap sarap…. pramis! binigyan pa nga ako ng diskawn!

P1,475 na lang pinabayad saken, para naman daw may pamasahi pa ako paowe.

Like

27 05 2010
dede

shhh, talaga ateng? you mean binchingku lang pamasahi mu paowi?

Like

27 05 2010
etchosera

uu naman! malapet laang kami sa kobaw, kaya mora lang pamasahi.

Like

27 05 2010
eufems

congrats chiwee!

Haha. What would the ad look like?

‘Ang Bise Presidente ko, may ‘B’!’ naging
‘Ang Idol ko, walang ‘B’!’

Like

27 05 2010
etchosera

Naku PH! Wag mong ginaganyan si Kungrisman!

Baka ipabogbog ka niya kay Jenki! Wahahahaha!

Like

27 05 2010
Worried Pinoy

Asked if he’s enrolling in a crash course, he replied, “Kungrisista aku, hindi pilutu! Gagu!” – Killer punchline! punch.. punch… punch… pupupupum… =)

Ang first law daw ni Pacquiao eh magpatayo ng school sa Saranggani. Law na pala ang pagpapatayo ng gusali. Sabagay, okay na din na naging kungrisista sya, puro walang utak naman tao dun. Atleast sya naalog lang.

Like

27 05 2010
junior60

Ahem, sample po:

HB03901 [History]
AN ACT ESTABLISHING A NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL IN BARANGAY TALON-TALON, CITY OF ZAMBOANGA TO BE KNOWN AS TALON-TALON NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL AND APPROPRIATING FUNDS THEREFOR
Status: REPUBLIC ACT (RA09605) enacted on 2009-05-13

HB03902 [History]
AN ACT ESTABLISHING A NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL IN BARANGAY BUNGUIAO, CITY OF ZAMBOANGA TO BE KNOWN AS BUNGUIAO NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL AND APPROPRIATING FUNDS THEREFOR
Status: REPUBLIC ACT (RA09606) enacted on 2009-05-13

Like

27 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

‘kaw naman.

may utak naman ang mga tonggresista natin, ah.

kung wala silang utak, paano nilang maiisip na pinakamagandang negosyo ang pulitika?

may utak sila. utak tungaw!

Like

27 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

‘kaw naman, paano mo nasabi na wala silang mga utak?

meron naman. dahil kung wala, hindi nila maiisip na pinakamgandang negosyo ang pulitika.

mga utak hanip ang mga kupal.

nadagdagan pa ng isang utak na lulutang lutang dahil naalog sa pakikipagbangasan ng mukha.

Like

27 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

ayan! nadoble tuloy!

may nagmumulto sa kompyuter ko!

heeelllllppppp!!!

Like

27 05 2010
dede

toingk!

Like

27 05 2010
etchosera

Ayyy! Wag ka namang mag-generalize. Baket, nalipat na ba ang Congress sa Sarangani at sabi mo puro walang utak ang tao dun?

Like

28 05 2010
checkmate

ok lang po yan sir worried pinoy, at least may naisip agad na law kahit magpatayo ng school sa saranggani, di tulad sa ibang naging congressman na KAHIT ISA walang naipasa, ang bumara makanoynoy, joke hehehehe ^^

Like

27 05 2010
reviewer22

Uso ngayon ang mga nakakagulat na results. Orlando and Phoenix biglang humahabol. Can we also expect a shocker?

Like

27 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

tama gyud!

kungrisista na siya ngayun. piro malapit na siyang maging pilutu.

kahit itanung n’yu kay kresta.

hende lang napablis na ilang bisis si mani na naglanding sa run way ng kandungan ni kresta. kaya omoosok sa silus ang tinga ni jenki.

Like

27 05 2010
David Letterman

25th!!! yehey!

Like

27 05 2010
phreddox

LOLz kay Manoling.

He’s a true “whistle” blower.

Like

27 05 2010
etchosera

Tumfuck ka diyan phreddox!

Claf! Claf! Claf!

Like

28 05 2010
chiwee

ey, talagang kayang sumipol kahit stuffed ang mouth…. ng ice candy? hahaha.

Like

28 05 2010
phreddox

thanks but no thanks LOL!
only the wife can blow that whistle 😀

Like

27 05 2010
eriktenedero

nakakahurt naman..i like LEE…
hahaha

lol for Manoling!!!!1

Like

27 05 2010
pihikan chronicles

ganito n lng para masaya PH should’ve run as congressman, e di mas ayos!

Like

27 05 2010
etchosera

di hamak na may utak naman si PH, no?

Hmmmmmp!

Like

27 05 2010
promdi

ayy… AI this season is a so-so… with the guys not so impressive.. truly, crystal is a better performer than lee who’s rather too reserved a performer on stage… but i was rooting for casey james all the way… pogi and sooo tall, but then, mas mahinhin pa rin kesa sana’y bruskong dating… kulang sa gilas… kulang sa … L ! actually lahat sila… kulang sa what u call magic!! parang may2010 sa RP, except the picos machine.. he he he!

Like

28 05 2010
etchosera

yes….. could you repeat the question, please?

Like

28 05 2010
checkmate

kulet ng survey, madami ang buwisit sa reyna, sa tingin ko naman eh ok lang naman maliban lang dun sa mga kurakot nila, at least dumami ung mga tren at di na masyadong congested ang SLEX hehe sana lang wag matulad si noynoy sa ratings ni gma paglipas ng ilang taon nya as president ^^

Like

28 05 2010
senior60

” Well, it does happen, better performers losing the vote?

Hey, it just happened right here last May 10 ”

aray, batobato sa langit, ang tamaan may bukol…

Like

28 05 2010
Brixter

Can’t agree with you more

Like

28 05 2010
Anonymous

kaya nanalo si Pacman ay dahil sa INC, IGLESIA NI CRESTA! whahaha!

Like

28 05 2010
etchosera

Bwahahahaha! STOP!

Bakit nga kaya ako tumawa?

Like

28 05 2010
Ano Ni Moose

you definitely have to admire manny pacquiao. he’s willing to learn. kaya lang bakit hindi sa ateneo nag enroll? di ba dati gusto nya maging atenista?

pahabol – comments section ito diba? magcocomment ka sa blog entry. bakit nagiging chat room ng nag-aagawan mauna mag comment? haaaaay…..

Like

28 05 2010
promdi

korek ka dyan, ano ni moose (anonymous ba?, brilliant ka rin, ano?). he he. nawawalan ng value ang mga insights/satire ni ph… sa seemingly becoming a marketplace (divisoria-baclaran) of not so insightful (nay, senseless) thots exchange….??? sorry, guys…

Like

30 05 2010
etchosera

whoa! look who’s talking!

I would have really appreciated your comment had i not read your previous comments here. Your condescending attitude toward those who you think are “palengkera” speaks volumes about your being a trying hard to be noticed pa-sensible commenter kuno. Brilliant? Not.

And as you may have noticed, PH approved those as you say…senseless and not so insightful thots (shudder!) exchange.
I guess it only means one thing…. and siguro naman di ko na kailangan pang i-emphasize yan sayo.

Nuff said! I read PH blog to be entertained…. instead, eto, sinira mo ang araw ko.

Like

28 05 2010
karaangbugoy

“chewee,

male ‘yang kasabehan na ‘yan semola neng agawen ne glurya kay erap ang malakanyang at noong dayaen si ep pi dye noong 2004.

dapat paletan na at sabehen na naton na kong walang erap wala sanang glurya.”

E-E-MON?

Like

28 05 2010
phreddox

Hey PH, wattagamefive!
grats sa Lakers, nanalo dahil sa Artestry 😀

Like

29 05 2010
jackgb

hagis *** na lang pumasok pa!pero kudos to RonRon:)
kobe sucks on that play sa totoo lng!pilit na pilit e…

Like

31 05 2010
TOMADOR

Si manay Manoling, hayaan nyo na…he’s sourgraping coz his candidate lost…it happens you know…it still does until now LOL

Like

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