April 22nd
On this date in…

1500: Portuguese navigator Pedro Álvares Cabral becomes the first European to sight Brazil. Amazon tribesmen didn’t notice the Portuguese were coming because they were so busy playing soccer.

1870: Communist revolutionary Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov (Lenin) is born in Simbirsk, Russia. To ‘celebrate’ his birth, Communists all over the world simultaneously torched several cell sites.

1970: The first Earth Day is celebrated to promote environmental protection. Forty years later, the earth is at its worst condition ever, proving that the annual celebration is a failure.

1998: Disney’s Animal Kingdom opens at Walt Disney World near Orlando, Florida. Moments later, members of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals or PETA gathered outside the theme park and demanded the release of all animals.

2000: In a pre-dawn raid, federal agents seize six-year-old Elián González from his relatives’ home in Miami, Florida… totally crushing the boy’s dreams of visiting Walt Disney’s Animal Kingdom.

1970: A beautiful bouncing baby girl named Regina Encarnacion “Chona” Velasquez is born. Sixteen years later, she would use a new name (Regine), and a new nose.

Thanks to Wikipedia and BBC On This Day.

It’s Earth Day today!
To save energy (and resources)…

Sen. Richard Gordon shall try to speak 150 words per minute (less than his “normal” average of 400 wpm).

Sen. Francis Escudero shall use more periods in his speeches, and limit his sentences to an average of 10 words.

Kris Aquino will limit her use of “Noy,” “Baby James,” “Ballsy,” “Pinky,” “Viel,” “mom ko,” and “dad ko” on TV to two times per segment instead of the usual five.

The Philippine Daily Inquirer will limit the news, and column items on Noynoy Aquino and his family to accommodate more Earth Day-related articles.

Tabloids will limit their pages to four. As James Watt lamented in 1982, did you know how many good trees were cut to put out bad newspapers?

And lastly, Sen. Manuel Villar shall limit his political ads to two lies per 30-seconds… an improvement from the usual seven lies per ad.

“The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river.”
~Ross Perot

Thank you Cebu Bloggers Society for appreciating what I do. Credit goes to the readers whose incredible grasp of the daily goings-on in this country makes political humor blogging much easier. Again, daghang salamat!

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

21 thoughts on “”

      1. nagdududa na tuloy ako if human ba me or not? 😉 dihins kaya ng powers ko to listen intelligently at 600 wpm kahit monosyllabic words pa.

        seriously, that’s a good advice to mr gordon. for the most effective speaking rate is approximately 125-160 words a minute. Obviously, speak too fast and your audience will have a hard time keeping up with you, and eventually you will lose them. Speak too slow and you will put them to sleep, and will lose them as well.


  1. Hi Ph, agree that Inquirer should limit the news, column items and editorials praising noynoy….sa totoo lang, I used to be an avid reader of their newspaper, just had to stop since I noticed puro NOY na lang ang topic.

    PH, are you going to attend any of the Miting de Avance as an observer? Hope you will and blog about it ( similar to your coverage of Mar and Korina’s wedding).


Say something...

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s