STAR(FRUIT) FOR ALL SEASONS

IT’S THE DAY’s BIGGEST NEWS.
Albay Governor Joey Salceda who called an emergency caucus of Lakas governors at Discovery Suites in Pasig City last April 6 to conduct a loyalty check on Lakas members has bolted the ruling coalition! Apparently, Salceda got so busy checking out his party mates’ loyalty; he totally forgot to check out his.

Just so you know, Noynoy Aquino and Joey Salceda were classmates at the Ateneo de Manila University from the late ‘70s to the early ‘80s… or as their flirty female classmates would say, “unlucky years.”

Joey Salceda revealed that he and Noynoy Aquino were seatmates in the English class in Ateneo. They were not that close then although one time they plagiarized some compositions together.

According to Albay Governor Joey Salceda, Noynoy Aquino was his seatmate in the English class in Ateneo some 30 years back. Salceda will never ever forget the young Noynoy… mainly because he was the only one who owned a lighter then.

Albay Governor Joey Salceda who called an emergency caucus of Lakas governors at Discovery Suites in Pasig City last April 6 to conduct a loyalty check on Lakas members has bolted the ruling coalition! It was like Dinky Soliman leading the Arroyo cabinet in singing “If We Hold On (Together),” and then calling for her president’s ouster the succeeding week.

After calling on his party mates to rally behind Gilbert Teodoro, Albay Governor Joey Salceda has bolted the party and announced his support for Noynoy Aquino. Lakas stalwarts were reportedly shocked by Salceda’s announcement because they expected him to support Danton Remoto’s “Ang Ladlad” instead.

Bugtong:
Higit sa isa ang mukha
May payat at may mataba
Berde kung hilaw
kapag hinog ay dilaw.
Ano ito?
Sagot: Balimbing (or Starfruit; Averrhoa carambola)

At ilan sa mga kilalang berde na pilit nahinog nitong mga nakaraang buwan ay ang mga balimbing sa larawan. Nasa inyo na ang pagpapasya kung sila ay inyong pipitasin sa darating na halalan.

Bawat isa sa kanila ay may ibinigay na dahilan kung bakit nila iniwan ang kanilang partido. Natatandaan mo pa ba kung ano ang kanilang “excuse?” Alamin sa pamamagitan ng pagsagot sa pagsusulit na ito.

Panuto: Isilid sa isang hinog na balimbing o ponkan (depende sa partidong nilipatan) ang titik ng tamang sagot. Tandaan: gumamit ng hinog na balimbing o ponkan lamang: bawal ang hilaw at bawal ang manibalang. Narito ang halimbawa ng tamang pagmamarka sa napiling sagot:

May sampung minuto ka upang sagutin ang tanong: Bakit nga ba sila lumipat?

1: Dating NEDA Director General Ralph Recto:
A: “Natalo na ‘ko noong 2007, ayokong matalo uli ngayon. Masakit sa bulsa. ‘Di pa nga ako nakakabawi eh!”
B: “I think you have a good team in the LP under the leadership of Senator Noynoy and Senator Mar.”
C: “’Package deal’ kasi. Nang alukin ng Liberal si Vi, siyempre damay na ko. What is marriage for?”
D: “Hindi ko kailangang mag-explain sa ‘yo. Ano ka, si Serge Osmeña? Kung ‘di mo ako kayang tanggapin, umalis ka!”

2: Former Ilocos Sur Governor Luis ‘Chavit’ Singson:
A: “Si Erap nga na parang kapatid ko na, tinraydor ko pa. Si Gilbert Teodoro pa kaya na ‘di ko man lang nakainuman o nakasama sa casino?”
B: “Kung kanino si Manny Pacquiao, doon ako.”
C: “Mas matagal na kasi sa politics si Villar. Mas marami siyang kilala. ‘Tsaka siya ang gusto ng mga kababayan ko. Sino ba ko para sumalungat sa kanila?”
D: “God knows Hudas not stay!”

3: Mandaluyong City Rep. Neptali Gonzales III
A: “Dating back to the ‘60s, our relationship with the Aquinos and the Roxases is something na hindi ko puwedeng talikuran.”
B: “Ang tagal ng pondo. Nainip na ‘ko.”
C: “Hinintay ko lang ang latest survey at tiniyak kong lamang pa rin si Noynoy para sure.”
D: “Bakit ba kayo nakikialam? Taga-Mandaluyong ba kayo?!?”


4: Albay Governor Joey Salceda
A: “Deep in my heart, hindi ko kayang ikampanya ang isang La Sallista. Bali-baligtarin man ang mundo, kahit ano pang mangyari, halata man o hindi, Atenista pa rin ako.”
B: “Titigan n’yo ang picture sa ‘taas. Kuha ‘yan nang samahan ako ni Gibô sa pagpa-file ng aking certificate of candidacy. Napilitan lang akong mag-smile d’yan!”
C: “I accepted the challenge of my Ateneo classmate Noynoy to become the Bicol regional chairman of the Liberal Party. My task is to make him win in Bicol on May 10.”
D: “Matagal na akong nagtitiis bilang berdeng caterpillar. Panahon na upang iwagayway ang aking mga dilaw na pakpak bilang paru-paro! To paraphrase Ricky Martin, ‘I am a fortunate butterfly!’ Promise!”

5: Quezon City Mayor Feliciano Belmonte
A: “Kung mananatili ako sa Lakas, hindi ako magiging House Speaker. Career move ‘to.”
B: “Enlightened, dependable, trustworthy and morally upright: All of these qualities of Cory, I see in our new champion, Sen. Noynoy Aquino.”
C: “Naunang lumipat ang anak kong si Joy eh. Tatay lang ako. Kung saan siya masaya, suportahan ko siya.”
D: “Noynoy and I have a lot of things in common. Single ako, single siya. Umuulan ng celebrities sa aking siyudad; bumabaha ng celebrities sa kanyang ad.”

6: Surigao Del Norte Governor Robert Ace Barbers
A: “Wala lang. Trip ko lang.”
B: “Ang Nacionalista kasi ang susunod na pinakamalaking political party after the 2010 elections.”
C: “Pati ba naman taong nananahimik dito sa Surigao, napansin pa ng punyetang Professional Heckler na ‘yan? Baka gusto niyang matulad siya kay Mike Enriquez?!? ”
D: “Puwede bang kantahin ko na lang? 1-2-3! Si Villar ang tunay na mahirap/ Si Villar ang tunay na may malasakit!”

7: House Speaker Prospero Nograles
A: “Even as a senior officer of the party, I hardly know what’s happening because they make decisions without the courtesy of even briefing us. I don’t even get any text saying hi or hello from our party standard-bearer.”
B: “Delikado kasi ‘yung mayoral bid ko sa Davao. ‘Yung Duterte Death Squad, este Duterte family, suportado ni Noynoy. Kailangan ko ng mas malakas na backer like Villar.”
C: “Lilinawin ko lang! Hindi totoong iiwan ko ang partido! Hindi totoong ako ay balimbing! At hindi totoong tumakbo ako nang nakahubad sa isang hotel! Damn it! Kailangan ko pa bang ulit-ulitin ‘yan?”
D: “Who says I’m leaving Lakas? Puwede ko namang ikampanya nang palihim si Villar kahit ‘di ako Nacionalista ah. Si Presidente nga kinakaya… ako pa?!”

8: Bukidnon Governor Jose Ma. Zubiri
A: “Nagpasya akong lumipat kay Villar dahil… hindi ko sure kung mag-o-offer si Noynoy.”
B: “Memoryado ng aking mga apo ang “dagat ng basura” ad ni Villar. Mahal ko ang aking mga apo. Mahal nila si Villar. Mahal ko na rin siya.”
C:I cannot stomach Lakas’ alliance with Kampi.”
D: “Napagkasunduan namin ‘yan ng aking mga anak. Sina Migs, mananatili sa Lakas; ako naman, sa Nacionalista. Mas maraming partido, mas maraming pondo.”

9. Batangas Governor Vilma Santos
A: “Akala n’yo ba walang matibay na dahilan ang aking paglipat? Akala n’yo lang, wala! Pero meron! Meron!”
B: “Katulad po ng sinabi ni Ralph sa question No. 1 sa taas… masakit matalo. Malaki-laki rin ang nawala sa amin sa kampanya noong 2007. Ayaw na naming maulit ‘yon.”
C: “I think Noynoy can give us that inspiration because of the inspiration instilled to us by his parents.”
D: “Bakit ako lumipat sa Liberal Party? Hmmm, alam n’yo po, matagal kong pinag-isipan ‘yang desisyon na ‘yan. I prayed hard for guidance. Hindi po madali sa akin ang iwan ang Lakas. Pero isa lang po ang tinitiyak ko sa aking mga kababayan sa Batangas: matagal kong pinag-isipan ang desisyon kong ito and I really prayed hard for guidance. Dahil sa totoo lang, hindi po madaling iwan ang Lakas. Thank you!”
—————————-
“Unless you can find some sort of loyalty, you cannot find unity and peace in your active living.”
~Josiah Royce

Survey Says
Ayon sa ABS-CBN: “Mula sa Nacionalista Party ang pekeng ‘psychiatric report’ ni Noynoy.” Ang sagot ng Nacionalista Party: “Sino sa amin? ‘Di totoo ‘yan!”
Ang tanong: dapat bang ibunyag ng ABS-CBN ang source nila sa NP?
Ang resulta ng survey:
DAPAT LANG! 70%
HINDI NA KAILANGAN! 25%
HINDI KO ALAM ANG ISYU. 4%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Trivia:The 1955 Academy Award-winning film Oklahoma! was shot entirely in Arizona because producers believed that Arizona looked more like Oklahoma than Oklahoma did!

Sa nangyayaring exodus ng Lakas members sa Liberal Party at Nacionalista Party, hindi na ako magtataka kung ang LP at NP ay mas mag-asal-Lakas kaysa sa orihinal na Lakas pagkatapos ng eleksyon. Good luck sa ating lahat!

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

71 thoughts on “STAR(FRUIT) FOR ALL SEASONS”

  1. kanina ko pa inaabangan mula kaninang tinweet mo na tapos ka na, hahaha. Una ako ngayon sa comment.

    Di kaya umalis si Salceda sa Lakas dahil kahit hipo man lang, di niya nagawa ke Gibo, samantalang ke noynoy, nasubuan na siya nung classmate pa sila, at ngayon, sinubuan na naman siya? or di kaya, niregaluhan siya ng mga artistang endorser niya, hahaha

    Like

    1. sir di po mayayari si villar, ibig sabihin nyan controlled na ni villar ang maguindanao, ang dapat magworry si noynoy kasi nawalan na sya automatic ng isang province, buti sana kung katulad natin ung mga tao dun, eh ang kaso ang mga tao dun takot sa mga ampatuan kaya good luck sa pilipinas…

      Like

  2. how does the siraan sa politics go? eto, fact talaga.

    last week, pumunta kami ng mga tropa ko rito sa village association namin para sa isang dinner sa Leslie’s, bandang Rosario na yata or Gen Trias pa yan. Basta sa may centennial road.

    Sinong nagpatawag. E di, local politician na maka-Villar. Ang issue, black propaganda key Noynoy. Ilang tao, mga 300. Anong ginawa? Ini-isa isa yung key Noynoy. Sinabi yung balew siya, bago pa lumabas yung psych test kuno nya na peke. Medyo mey open forum pa daw na konti. Lihis sa sagot yung mga tanong.

    Tumahimik na lang ako sa amusement. Paki ko sa kanila. Wala namang pera na pinang mudmod. Basta busog ako sa buffet.

    Tiyak, marami pang ganyan before the elections.

    Like

  3. my opinion on this matter is that a politician’s main priority should be the welfare of his constituents; his political party should come in last. so what if there are some lakas members who turned their backs on their party in favor of another? what is it to you and me anyway? although there are those who opted to party-hop because of their personal agendas (and is pretty much suspect), i believe there are still who did it because of scruples, that they had an epiphany that the other party may serve this country better than their current one.

    think about it, perhaps during or after or even before the meeting that salceda initiated (or did he really?), he realized that he was actually with bad company. anyway noynoy being the son philippine democracy heroes, it is most likely that he would do this country good. also, being the only candidate who promised to fight corruption and not steal says a lot about him. since corruption is our country’s greatest enemy, noynoy is spot-on in his declaration to fight it.

    just my two cents.

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  4. kay daming icocomment pero isa lang muna dahil
    napuna na ako ni worried pinoy, later na lang iba…

    may bago na ngayon, villarroyo at aquinorroyo…

    sabi ni noynoy, yung iba daw na mga balimbing napunta
    kay villar dahil ni reject nila, annooo? ni reject? kung
    pwede lang nga pati kaluluwa ni satanas kabigin to ensure
    victory pagkatapos mang reject pa? ka funny naman….

    Like

  5. talagang ganyan na kababa ang uri ng pulitika sa atin…Political Parties without party loyalty…politicians without principles..politicians who mastered the art of betrayal….kung kaya ganito ang bayan nating mahal…ang mga tulad nila ang hindi dapat pagkatiwalaan at iluklok sa kapangyarihan!

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  6. any type of success always breeds hate, this goes for all sides.

    May balita pa nga na Gibo’s team(as confirmed by Manglapus) is with talks with LP of Noynoy and Pwersa ng Masa of Erap…bakit kaya hmmmmm…

    Oh by the way I just to let this one out, saw a slogan probably put out by Gibo supporters (which is understandable and ignorant at the same time) “I Think therefore I am for GIBO” LOL ayos sa pampalakas ng loob ah LOL pero its all good, kanya kanyang trip yan.

    Regarding sa balimbingan, are we really that “born yesterday” not to ancipate this kind of political behaviour? We act as if we are surprised! LIVE WITH IT! its part of the dirty political system here in the Philippines.

    Don’t blame the candidates or the party, blame the system!

    And yet you claim you THINK! If that ain’t DAFT then I don’t know what it is! LOL

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    1. OK LANG TOMADOR. The “I THINK, THEREFORE I AM FOR GIBO” IS THE PROFILE PICTURE OF MOST GIBO FANS. It is a long story. Green Team for Gibo is composed of volunteers from all sectors of the society. Hindi maki-Gloria, hindi maki-Lakas. Pure Gibo lang. The team just sprouted all over the country. Mostly professionals and students. Walang bayad. Walang allowance. We maybe down but we fight for new brand of politics! We maybe only 8% overall in the country but we are 100% for gibo. Good morning!

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      1. i think, therefore I am for gibo is the battlecry of the supporters because it is their belief that voting Gibo for president is the “intelligent choice”. why? for the reason that they are considering him not because of his family background, not because of his (sob!) rag to riches story, not because of his popularity, not because of any sentimental reasons, but because of his credentials!

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      2. sir livingsaint, kung gusto nyo po TALAGA ng credentials/performance/track records at kung TALAGANG INTELLIGENT CHOICE ang hanap nyo, hindi po kayo boboto ng isang puppet na walang ginawa, decoy na di man lang ma-unite ang sariling party, liar na corrupt pa at plunderer na sobrang kapal ng mukha para tumakbo ulit. bakit kaya parang napakahirap sa mga pilipino na pumili ng matinong kandidato eh ang titignan lang naman eh kung ano ung mga nagawa nyang pagbabago na ikinaunlad ng marami, kung parating kumikilos at hindi nagkakamote balls lang, kung walang nagrereklamo dahil sa corruption or katamaran, yung hindi puro yabang pero mayroon talagang kakahayan… andyan na ang pagbabagong hinahanap nyo, kukunin nyo na lang, pipili pa kayo ng mas lalong magpapalala ng kalagayan ng bansa. kailan kayo pipili ng karapat-dapat? kung kailan wala na kahit isa?

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    2. I’m afraid people like you who wants to “LIVE WITH” the seemingly lack of party loyalty is also part of the problem. So long as there are voters like YOU who don’t mind their politicians to be turncoats, there will be many more Joey Salceda and Prospero Nograles in the offing.

      To paraphrase what you just posted above, I’d say “blame voters like you, and the politicians!”

      By the way who is more daft & ignorant, the voter who would proudly use the slogan “I Think therefore I am for GIBO” or someone who would propose to just live with the crap of a party politics we have. If you don’t make a principled stand now then when?

      Before I forget “HINDI AKO MAGNANAKAW!” is the most vacuous slogan in Philippine politics so far, a close second would be “TAPUSIN ANG KAHIRAPAN!”

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      1. dapat nga ata tanggalin na lang ang party system, kanya-kanyang kampanya na lang gawin nila tapos meron dapat website ung govt na pinapakita ung attendance at activities ng congress at senate bawat araw para malaman ng mga pilipino kung sino talaga ang karapat-dapat…

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      2. The Cojuancos on Noy’s side practically stole Hacienda Luisita from the Filipino people having partly used government funds to buy it in 1957. The condition that it would be distributed to the tenants in 1967 which they never did. “Tapos na kami magnakaw” is a more truthful slogan

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    3. haha tomador, you’re calling those people whose views do not align with yours as daft? That’s so daft of you! You do not even know who these people are. Watch your word. You might eat them later on.

      And the next time you make some arguments, make sure to check if it matches with and supports the battlecry of the party you are supporting. Gosshhh, you cited “LIVE WITH IT! its[sic: should be it’s] part of the dirty political system here in the Philippines.” Now padreno, political dynasty, corruption— these are parts of the dirty political system. So are you telling us to live with these?

      You cannot be selective if you want to change a dirty system. You have to change everything that contributes to its dirtiness! For a new wine must be placed on a new wine bag and not on an older one! Grr… if only kulam is true, we could have annihilated all these tradPols and political opportunists a long time ago.

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    1. mawawalan po ng balimbing pag nabuwag na ang party system, pag ang kandidato dala-dala nya ang sarili nyang pangalan ng walang tulong at impluwensya ng iba, pag handa nyang itaya ang lahat ng sarili lang ang inaasahan pero syempre hindi nila gagawing batas yan, dyan sila nakikinabang eh…

      Like

  7. “hindi ako magnanakaw”,does this statement makes you someone greater than anybody.?i can also say hindi ako magnanakaw, because it is true, but i am not running for president>maybe 95% of filipino
    also say they not magnanakaw.
    we are not after who you are not,but who are you.
    not what you will not do, but will you do for this country.

    gordon ako!

    Like

    1. naks kala ko ako lang ang boboto kay gordon dito, meron pa palang iba ^^ ung iba kasi nag-iisip daw at hindi nagbubulag-bulagan pero todo pagtatakip sa mga kakulangan ng iboboto nila, magsasawa ka sa mga excuses, mudslinging at black propaganda. kung ilang % si gordon sa mga surveys, yun ang % ng mga pilipinong talagang nag-iisip…

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  8. Just tinker on this before you vote; Gibo- so smart but his aristocratic traits make me doubt him. i think he is matapobre by nature. Erap- maganda ang ginawa mo sa Abu Bakar.pero hanggang dun lang yun.Same goes for Gordon with Subic. Noynoy- hope you bitchslap your face real good. You know you’re not up for this. Your imaginary best friend tricked you again.Manny-i hope you dont crumble with all the BS they’ve been giving you. Make things happen Manny!

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    1. yeah, manny will definitely make things happen for gma… nung niresearch ko ung kay gordon, mas marami syang naipasang batas kesa sa kanilang lahat, pumapangalawa si villar, pangatlo si gibo at 0 out of 9 kay noynoy kasi puro co-author lang sya sa ibang naipasang bill. nagtataka lang ako dun sa nabasa ko sa blog nya dahil nung hinamon sya ni noynoy sa lie detector test, instead na harapin nya ung hamon, gumamit sya ng misdirection. dapat hinarap nya na yun para mapilitan si noynoy na magpapsychiatric test, madali lang naman kasi yun unless meron syang itinatago…

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  9. Alam ninyo, ang laban ng pagka presidente, nakay noynoy at villar lang. So ang katotohanan is,si ampatuan, galamay ni gloria yan.. si gloria at mga aquino, nagtakipan sa isyu ng patayan sa hacienda luisita,sctex, hello garci tape, at pagpapatalsik kay erap, ngayon, gusto nilang hilahin ni ampatuan si villar pababa. Kapag nanalo si noynoy, laya na si ampatuan, at speaker of the house pa si gloriang pandak.

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  10. @checkmate

    Voting for Gibo is not equivalent to voting for GMA. We should change this perception; just because you are closely associated with a person does not mean that you share the same values and vices. Gibo has his own identity and achievements-ikaw na rin nagsabi na among the lawmakers/presidentiables, pangatlo siya sa may pinakamataas na na-ipasa na mga batas. At yung pagiging puppet niya sa isang liar na, corrupt pa at plunderer rin na tao, kung ang tinutukoy mo ay si GMA, the last time I checked, hindi pa ho convicted si Gloria. perception lang yung pagiging corrupt at plunderer niya. not yet a fact unless otherwise proven in courts.

    At saka working under her leadership does not mean na puppet ka. kasi kung yan ang batayan ng pagiging puppet, eh pati si gordon ay puppet rin ni gloria kasi former department head siya. sure, he is no longer working under her, pero sa perception ko, nabahiran na siya ng “putik ni gloria” because of association. and this holds true to aquino, villar, at iba pang former supporters of GMA. kung tutuusin, halos kalahati ng mga presidentiables except for jamby, nicanor perlas, erap, jc and eddie (correct me if i’m wrong).

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    1. sir livingsaint, sorry po kung medyo magulo ung comment ko, ang ibig ko pong sabihin dun ay ganito:
      isang puppet na walang ginawa: noynoy 0 out 9 bills turned to law
      decoy na di man lang ma-unite ang sariling party: gibo, obvious naman po
      liar na, corrupt pa: villar, guilty or not, nakinabang pa rin sya sa c-5
      at plunderer na sobrang kapal ng mukha para tumakbo ulit: erap

      ang puppet po na tinutukoy ko si noynoy po, kasi sunud-sunuran sya sa gusto ng mga nakapaligid sa kanya, sorry po talaga sa magulo kong comment…

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  11. Hi PH, I hope you will also come up with a topic on endorsers who have switched candidates. Boy Abunda should be on top of the list.

    Anyone from San Juan? I’ve noticed that Madame Guia Gomez seems to be running unopposed. Wondering why Janna Ejercito whose running for councilor is once again not included in Guia and JV’s political team. Di ba sila magkakamag-anak.

    Like

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