LIGHT BITES (2010 EDITION)

A dose of political Light Bulb Jokes. Enjoy!

Q: How many Liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one. But while he’s doing it, some 100 torch-bearing celebrities will gather around him to sing “Hindi Ka Nag-iisa.”

Q: How many Nacionalistas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. But if the light bulb fails, three others will be there to defend him

Q: How many Aquino sisters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. Three to change it and one to emotionally relate the experience on TV

Q: How many Villars does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: They won’t. They’ll just replace it with a new chandelier.

Q: How many Gilbert Teodoros does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Can you find someone else? Anybody but him.

Q: How many administration candidates for president does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One is real; the other, “secret”

Q: How many Gloria Macapagal-Arroyos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One… but she’ll ask for more time (an extension) so she could screw it in well

Q: How many Gloria Macapagal-Arroyos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: At least four. The ceiling is too high.

Q: How many Joseph Estradas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: No way! Not again.

Q: How many Nicanor Perlases does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw in the new bulb, and another to recycle the old one

Q: How many Eddie Villanuevas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. He’ll just say, “Let there be light!”

Q: How many Jamby Madrigals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: She doesn’t know how. She doesn’t eat bulbs.

Q: How many Vetelanno Acostas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. He’s not qualified to do so.

Q: How many Loren Legardas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Which bulb? In whose room?

Q: How many Mar Roxases does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Screwing it in easily tires him.

Q: How many Jejomar Binays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it’s gonna take him 24 years (or more)

Q: How many Miriam Defensor-Santiagos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: She thinks there are three but as far as we can see, it’s only her.

Q: How many Ampatuans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and another to shoot the old bulb and bury it

Q: How many governors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one. But before he could finish, the Comelec Second Division assigns someone else to do the job

Q: How many members of the Supreme Court does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them… unless there’s a dissenting opinion

Q: How many CBCP members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They find the act immoral.

Q: How many SWS or Pulse Asia researchers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, plus or minus two

Q: How many Bayan Muna members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and another to shout, “Mabuhay si Ka Satur!”

Q: How many Annabelle Ramas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: “Bakit dung? May TF ba ‘yan dung?”

And finally…
Q: How many Kris Aquinos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and another to tell the whole world about it.

——————–
“The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded.”
~George Orwell

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Author: professionalheckler

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