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LIGHT BITES (2010 EDITION)

18 03 2010

A dose of political Light Bulb Jokes. Enjoy!

Q: How many Liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one. But while he’s doing it, some 100 torch-bearing celebrities will gather around him to sing “Hindi Ka Nag-iisa.”

Q: How many Nacionalistas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. But if the light bulb fails, three others will be there to defend him

Q: How many Aquino sisters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. Three to change it and one to emotionally relate the experience on TV

Q: How many Villars does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: They won’t. They’ll just replace it with a new chandelier.

Q: How many Gilbert Teodoros does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Can you find someone else? Anybody but him.

Q: How many administration candidates for president does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One is real; the other, “secret”

Q: How many Gloria Macapagal-Arroyos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One… but she’ll ask for more time (an extension) so she could screw it in well

Q: How many Gloria Macapagal-Arroyos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: At least four. The ceiling is too high.

Q: How many Joseph Estradas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: No way! Not again.

Q: How many Nicanor Perlases does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw in the new bulb, and another to recycle the old one

Q: How many Eddie Villanuevas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. He’ll just say, “Let there be light!”

Q: How many Jamby Madrigals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: She doesn’t know how. She doesn’t eat bulbs.

Q: How many Vetelanno Acostas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. He’s not qualified to do so.

Q: How many Loren Legardas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Which bulb? In whose room?

Q: How many Mar Roxases does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Screwing it in easily tires him.

Q: How many Jejomar Binays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it’s gonna take him 24 years (or more)

Q: How many Miriam Defensor-Santiagos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: She thinks there are three but as far as we can see, it’s only her.

Q: How many Ampatuans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and another to shoot the old bulb and bury it

Q: How many governors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one. But before he could finish, the Comelec Second Division assigns someone else to do the job

Q: How many members of the Supreme Court does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them… unless there’s a dissenting opinion

Q: How many CBCP members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They find the act immoral.

Q: How many SWS or Pulse Asia researchers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, plus or minus two

Q: How many Bayan Muna members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and another to shout, “Mabuhay si Ka Satur!”

Q: How many Annabelle Ramas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: “Bakit dung? May TF ba ‘yan dung?”

And finally…
Q: How many Kris Aquinos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and another to tell the whole world about it.

——————–
“The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded.”
~George Orwell

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25 responses

18 03 2010
kalokah

first! 😀

Like

18 03 2010
eufems

Second!

Benta yung Krissy joke 🙂 Join the KRIS AQUINO FOR PRESIDENT MOVEMENT hehehehe!

Like

18 03 2010
jotonoc

Q: How many SWS or Pulse Asia researchers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, plus or minus two

Brilliant!

Like

18 03 2010
Fran

(Hate you…Second!!!)

Hi PH!
Your light bulb jokes have made me a lot more vivacious today!
Godbless!

Like

18 03 2010
jhona

ahaha. imaginary friends daw tawag dun sabi ni Miriam. 😀

Like

18 03 2010
Thel

Always brilliant! You don’t disappoint. Thank you kindly for all the laughs.

Like

18 03 2010
nagbabasang pinoy

Ba’t walang light bulb jokes sina Dick Gordon at JC Delos Reyes? Wala silang bulb o ayaw nilang mag-screw?

Like

18 03 2010
jianne

nice. nice. but too bad, nawala antok ko. patulog pa naman sana ako 😉

Like

18 03 2010
FreeSince09

Laughed at the Satur Ocampo joke, i can relate… 😀

Like

18 03 2010
Mrivera

Jamby doesn’t eat bulbs?

Ano ba’ng kinakain niya?

Flowers?

Like

18 03 2010
Mrivera

Q. – How many administration candidates for president does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. – Two. One to work on the ceiling and the other one to steal.

Like

18 03 2010
Mrivera

Q: How many Miriam Defensor-Santiagos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. She’s already had a loose thread.

Baka tumalon ‘yung bulb.

Like

19 03 2010
Neil

Inggit ka lang kay Miriam.

Like

22 03 2010
Mrivera

Kahit kailan, Tita ay hindi ako maaaring mainggit kay Sisang Lundag.

Saka walang dahilan para mainggit ako sa isang maluwag ang turnilyo sa ulo.

Like

18 03 2010
checkmate

lol kulet eh sana merong kasunod ung why do chickens cross the road, isa pang makulet yun eh ^^

Like

19 03 2010
senior60

granting na mabasa ito nina loren at mar,

siguro ma offend si loren at mainis si mar..

Like

19 03 2010
rian

“The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded.”

— dapat i-headline to. wahahahahaha

Like

19 03 2010
lagaring_bakal

bwahahahaha.. you got it right theprofessionalheckler,

Q: How many theprofessionalhecklers, does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. only one, because he is one of a kind and brigthens my day.

Like

19 03 2010
joey_boy

How many Joseph Estradas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. He’d rather screw something or someone else.

How many Dick Gordons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. He got screwed by Joseph Estrada.

Like

19 03 2010
mbw

Heckler has many light bulbs!

Like

22 03 2010
Mrivera

Isa lang naman ‘yung bulb na alam kong meron si Professor Heckling, ah.

Patatlo ‘yung dalawang bateryang reserba kapag nagkaroon ng power interruption.

Kahit itanong n’yo kina Tita Dick at Michelle Tzupbiri.

Like

20 03 2010
Edward

How many Mindanao voters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It’s useless since it’s still brownout.

How many Sec. Angelo Reyeses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Because it’s God fault.

Like

20 03 2010
eufems

But he screwed up the Departments of Energy, National Defense, Environment and Natural Resources…

Like

20 03 2010
crisn

I love all the light bulb jokes, but I love what the Survey says. *LOL*

Like

20 03 2010
Goop

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Ingenious!! Simply ingenious!

Like

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