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WINNERS AND LOSERS

12 02 2010

CONGRATULATIONS to the Luzon resident who became the lone winner of the 201.473 million-peso jackpot prize in last night’s Super Lotto draw. Prior to that, two other Luzon residents were also declared winners: Roberto Pagdanganan and Lilia Pineda each won a province in a special draw supervised by the Commission on Elections’ Second Division.

Former Pampanga Board Member Lilia Pineda has won her recount petition against incumbent Governor Ed Panlilio. After the promulgation, the priest-on-leave’s allies said, “Para kaming binagsakan ng langit,” while Pineda’s supporters exclaimed, “Para kaming tumama sa jueteng.”

In Bulacan…
The provincial capitol now has two governors. Isang atat at isang tuko.

Reports say Roberto Pagdanganan, who was declared winner against incumbent governor Jonjon Mendoza after the recount of votes, is temporarily holding office at the provincial museum. Mendoza accused his nemesis of being “too greedy for power and position” after Pagdanganan concurrently assumed the post of curator.

On The Campaign Trail:
The TV Ads (First of A Series)
Noon: Nanonood tayo ng sitcoms o gag shows para matuwa
Ngayon: Nag-aabang tayo ng political ads para mangutya (at matuwa)

Ang Buwaya, Bow!
TG Guingona’s TV Ad (Liberal Party)
[Right click here to watch the ad before reading further]

Inspired by this hilarious anti-corruption campaign advertisement, here’s one for you TG. You know the melody.
Nakaligo ka na nga sa dagat ng buwaya
Nagpaskong mga bwitre ang ‘yong kasa-kasama
‘Yan ang alam namin
Dahil ikaw ay congressman din.

Superman, Batman, Spiderman… tumabi kayong lahat dahil narito na si…
Justiceman!

[Right click here to watch the ad before reading further]

Apat na tanong para sa kagalang-galang na dating kalihim:
1: Bilang Justiceman, ano po ang balak n’yong isuot na costume?
Pangalawa: Katulad nina Batman at Superman, nasa labas din kaya ang iyong brief?
3: Ano po ang inyong taglay na superpowers?
At pang-apat: Lalaki po kayo pero bakit “Bebot” ang iyong nickname? Follow up question: Ano po ang tawag sa inyo ng ninong o ninang ng mga anak n’yo: “Mare?”

Lakas-Kampi-CMD’s Pride?
Who needs a mascot if you have…
Binalonan, Pangasinan Mayor Ramon Guico, senatorial candidate
[Right click here to watch the ad before reading further]

Limang tanong para sa kagalang-galang na mayor:
Una: Sino po ang nagsabing karapat-dapat kayong tumakbo dahil kailangan kayo sa Senado?
2: Naniwala naman po kayo?
Pangatlo: Sabi po sa ad n’yo, “Paid for by friends of Ramon Guico” You mean, ginastusan na pala ang naturang ad nang lagay na ‘yun?
4: Kung hindi po kayo mananalo bilang senador, gusto n’yo bang mag-showbiz?
At panlima: Paano po kayo maglilingkod sa bansa nang tapat at totoo kung ang mismong buhok po ninyo ay peke?

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:mJ36rUydTNpjdM:http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gtSfm_RwwMk/SsDbCwpjpEI/AAAAAAAADHY/PNHWQHMquhs/s400/6296_252672835159_661605159_8259272_3663568_n3.jpg Madrigal’s Market Tour
TV cameras followed filthy rich senator Jamby Madrigal as she toured the metro’s markets. She never complained about the unpleasant smell but a fish vendor heard her whisper, “Mabuti pa ang market, wet.”

Sen. Jamby Madrigal toured the metro’s markets on Day 2 of her official campaign and plans to visit more this coming week. This just in! Without a party to back up her candidacy, Madrigal considers abandoning her ambition to win the presidency and shift her focus instead to becoming the new “Mr. Palengke.”

KBL’s Candidates
Kilusang Bagong Lipunan vice presidential bet, broadcaster Jay Sonza claims he is not familiar with his party’s presidential bet, Vetellano Acosta. Sonza is wondering why Acosta is running for president, why he refuses to campaign, and why his name is uniquely spelled that way.


The Fair Elections Act
Citing a provision in the Fair Elections Act, the Commission on Elections ordered “Any mass media columnist, commentator, announcer, reporter, on-air correspondent or personality endorsers” to take a leave of absence from their work during the campaign period. If strictly enforced, ABS-CBN operations will be crippled.

The Comelec ordered “Any mass media columnist, commentator, announcer, reporter, on-air correspondent or personality endorsers” to take a leave of absence from their work during the campaign period. If strictly enforced, the Inquirer will lose Conrado De Quiros and Manolo Quezon for three months.

According to the Fair Elections Act, “Any mass media columnist, commentator, announcer, reporter, on-air correspondent or personality endorsers” must take a leave of absence from their work during the campaign period. If strictly enforced, Malaya and the Daily Tribune will have to shut down operations for 90 days.

The Comelec has ordered celebrity endorsers to take a leave of absence from their work during the campaign period. If strictly enforced, TV5 would lose its only star, Dolphy – even before he could start working.

Lacson’s Case
Sen. Panfilo Lacson’s lawyer, Alex Avisado insists that the senator is not yet a fugitive from justice. He’s just a tourist.

The National Bureau of Investigation has intensified its global manhunt for Sen. Panfilo Lacson. The NBI’s intensified search has sent chills down the spine of male OFWs in Qatar.

———————–
“A great ad campaign will make a bad product fail faster. It will get more people to know it’s bad.”
~William Bernbach

Survey Says
Three months before the elections, have you decided for certain who you will vote for president?
Meron na! Sure na ako. 54%
Wala pa rin. Still thinking. 34%
Hindi ako boboto. 12%

Elsewhere
ABS-CBN Exclusive: Some groups within the Liberal Party are secretly pushing for an Aquino-Binay tandem.

Newsbreak: Guess who broke La Salle’s no-politicking rule

Have a great weekend!

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32 responses

12 02 2010
checkmate

lol wet ^^

Like

12 02 2010
Worried Pinoy

“Ginhawa mo, Gets ko! PUT@NG INA MO! GUICO!!” hahaha! that rhymes!

Like

12 02 2010
livingsaint

una ako. katawa naman yung ad ni TG! Galit sa buaya ha!

Like

12 02 2010
yussy

wala akong masabi sayo PH, nuknukan ka ng katatawanan na malaman hahahah! wala pa bang nag-aalok syong maging writer ng gag show?

Like

12 02 2010
firewomyn

panalo ang wet market! haha.

Like

12 02 2010
eydward

Some Pia commented in one of my posts and linked his/her name to Ramon Guico’s Facebook page. Weird. Absolutely weird. Like Ramon Guico’s weird. 😆

Like

12 02 2010
yowi

“buti pa ang market, wet” haha!! grabe panalo!!!

Like

12 02 2010
marsheemarsh

abscbn and the PDI would have to shutdown for 90 days if that is strictly enforced. wag naman gusto ko pa manood ng PBB. hahaha.

you’re hilarious as always.

Like

12 02 2010
senior60

kaawaawa naman si buwaya na bugbog sarado,
masumbong nga sa PETA si guingona…

sa recent development about the tambalang aquino-
binay, sa palagay ko mas kinabahan na si korina more
than mar, naudlot na nga ang pagiging first lady pati
ba naman ang pagiging second lady…..

at si kris ha, ang gandaganda na, ilang percentage na
kaya ang na fake sa kanyang mukha…

Like

12 02 2010
The Lady Green Hopper

to shut down operations for 90s days. – typo?

wahaha..super inanticipate ko tong post mo Mr. PH..

Super abang talaga ako sa pagtweet mo..hehe

wala na..another winner na naman to..

expecting for more entries like this!

Like

13 02 2010
professionalheckler

typo. salamat.

Like

12 02 2010
achu

luzon resident nanalo sa lotto? hmm…di kaya pulitiko yun na nangangailangan ng pondo para sa eleksyon? there’s been some rumors but we hope it isn’t really true…

Like

13 02 2010
topdog

galing mo talaga Mr. PH ! Biro mo, nalink mo ang Superlotto draw sa election at kina Pineda at Pangandaman? LOL LOL LOL LOL You are one of a kind, parang si Pacman!

Like

13 02 2010
derdo

Re the lotto winner, Arnold Clavio hinted as much. Sigh. They’ve robbed people who buy lotto of their dreams as well?

Like

14 02 2010
BAROK

Dapat kasi ipaskil na yung mga pangalan ng nananalo para siguradong di napupunta sa kung sinong ponsyo pilatong pulitiko.

Like

13 02 2010
hikatalomato

pagumabot na sa 100M+ ang stake sa lotto isa lang ang pwedeng manalo…si mike arroyo

Like

13 02 2010
phreddox

Lol sa warning sa mga OFW sa Qatar.

Kaya yung mga taga Qatar na may pangalang Panfilo, Ping, o last name na Lacson, ingat kayo baka madeport din kayo. Tsk tsk tsk.

Like

13 02 2010
bokchoy

hahahaha ampanget talaga ni boy abunda.

Like

13 02 2010
Jo

hahahaa ang galing mo …you are so funny , so glad to have found this site….

Like

13 02 2010
juanaganda

…buti pa ang market — wet….LOL!

Like

13 02 2010
Rex

CONGRATULATIONS to the Luzon resident who became the lone winner of the 201.473 million-peso jackpot prize in last night’s Super Lotto draw. FG has now added millions for his campaign potty.

Like

13 02 2010
Kaitee

May nanalo na pala. Sayang!

Like

14 02 2010
gerrycho

Comelec does better entertainment with a freak of nature twist — Among Ed lost and does vote buying, i wonder what is the general take of Pampanga on this issue…

Like

14 02 2010
BAROK

Hi PH, did you edit that Among Ed pic? Just curious.

Like

14 02 2010
timpaul

Nakalimutan mu yata, prof, ang kablog mung si Mr. Esposo sa Comelec order. Akala ko wala kang tatantanan. O baka namiss lang. hehe.

Like

14 02 2010
chumliit

WET..

winner.ang galing talaga..
(tatawanan ko nlng ata talaga si jamby..hehe)

Like

14 02 2010
jongskie721

okay kakatawa na talaga 😀 hahaha

Like

15 02 2010
Simba

Mar Roxas – every 3 years lang pumupunta sa palengke

Mar Roxas – Sa palengke na pala bumibili ng gamot ngayon

Like

16 02 2010
kaylai3000

thank you for featuring Justice Man! Hahahahahahaha! I am so looking forward to your pun on Sec. Bello’s moniker!

Like

18 02 2010
pinaywriter

nasestress ako sa kanila kaya lipat mode na lang ako pag political ad ang siste sa kabilang channel nagsisimula pa lang ang commercial na iniiwasan ko. shemas

Like

20 02 2010
concerned citizen

so sino para sayo ang karapat-dapat tumakbo bilang public servant? may alam ka ba sa LAHAT ng mga taong ininsulto mo dito sa post na ‘to?

Like

21 02 2010
John T

Balat sibuyas ka naman, Concerned Citizen! Umuwi ka na nga!

Like

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