BUSTED!


Fugitive Arrested
Last Monday, NBI agents finally arrested murder suspect Jason Aguilar Ivler while hiding in his mother’s home at Blue Ridge A Subdivision in Quezon City. Before engaging authorities in a shootout, Ivler desperately tried to elude arrest by claiming that he was actually an OFW currently on vacation from Qatar.

Jason’s mother, Marlene Aguilar-Pollard was also arrested Monday but is currently out on bail. Marlene was charged with obstruction of justice, giving false statements to authorities, and indecent exposure during the raid.

Something insane happened while Jason Aguilar Ivler was being rushed to the Quirino Memorial Medical Center Monday. When the ambulance carrying him got stuck in a traffic jam, he grabbed the gun of an NBI agent and tried to shoot the driver of the car in front of them.

NBI agents were shocked when TV host Kris Aquino suddenly appeared outside the residence of Marlene Aguilar Monday morning. Kris shouted invectives at Jason Ivler’s mother and said, “Anong klaseng nanay ka? Anong klase ang palaki mo sa anak mo?”

This just in! NBI agents reportedly arrested the wrong Marlene Aguilar! Rumors say the woman who was nabbed Monday was actress Caridad Sanchez!

Folk singer Freddie Aguilar, brother of Marlene Aguilar-Pollard refused to issue a statement on the Jason Aguilar Ivler controversy… something that was understandable since Ka Freddie’s got problems of his own with daughter Megan.

Marlene Aguilar is reportedly mad at some media outlets for dragging her brother’s name into the controversy. A teary-eyed Marlene said on TV, “You can’t blame me for defending my brother. No, ian, you can’t stop me from talking about my brother kasi ito ang sinasabi sa news. Nananahimik kami ‘tapos dinadamay n’yo siya. Hindi kinunsinti ng brother ko ang aking anak. Teka, would you like to pause for a commercial break before I go further? No? Sige, itutuloy ko na. Wait, my Ate told me to count from 1 to 10 before I open my mouth. So, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 and 10, okay. Again, ako ang biktima. Nilapastangan ang pagkatao ko nang kunan ako ng TV crew habang naka-kamison lang during the raid. And my brother? Freddie is of good moral character. He even tried to salvage my first marriage. At nang mangyari ang gulong ‘to, ang sabi ni Kuya Freddie, ang dapat mong isipin si Baby Jason. Ipintas n’yo nang lahat ang gusto n’yong ipintas sa akin pero hindi ako magnanakaw, hindi ako mamamatay-tao, at hindi ako masyadong sinungaling. Eto na lang ang masasabi ko. Dinamay n’yo ang kapatid ko. You cannot blame me for defending him. And you cannot blame me for defending my son!”

Light Bites
May nag-text!
“jason, mabuti naman at naaresto ka na. alam mo, cute ka sana kaya lang mang-aagaw ka ng atensyon! moment ko na this week pero umeksena ka naman. hmpf! H8 u na!” – kris aquino

Villar & the C5 Road
The senate committee of the whole recommended the censure of Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. after he was found guilty of unethical conduct when he sought the realignment of the C-5 road extension project that benefited his properties in the area. Twelve senators were seen signing the report; 11 others were seen laughing all the way to the bank.

Sen. Manuel Villar’s corporations allegedly gained 6.2 billion pesos from the realignment of the C-5 road extension project. To give you an idea how huge that amount was, Sen. Chiz Escudero would have run for president “thrice” under the NPC with that amount.

Sen. Manuel Villar Jr’s corporations allegedly gained 6.2 billion pesos from the realignment of the C-5 road extension project. To give you an idea how huge that amount was, Jamby Madrigal would sue her relatives if that were part of her aunt Chito Madrigal’s last will and testament.

Sen. Manuel Villar’s corporations allegedly gained 6.2 billion pesos from the realignment of the C-5 road extension project. To give you an idea how huge that amount was, count his TV and radio ad spots.

This just in! Senators Lito Lapid and Bong Revilla refused to sign the committee report that recommended the censure of Sen. Manny Villar. Lapid and Revilla insisted, “As actors, we are against any form of censureship.”

http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs218.snc3/22532_1179714579033_1413229851_30449944_6299091_s.jpg The Cerge Is Over
Press Secretary Cerge Remonde died of heart attack Tuesday morning at age 51. There will be a special necrological service in Malacañang to be moderated by Radyo ng Bayan’s Marie Peña Ruiz. Members of the Malacañang Press Corps are encouraged to deliver their eulogy in question form. Each member of the MPC will be allowed two questions each.
______
“Parents who are always giving their children nothing but the best usually wind up with nothing but the worst.”
~Anonymous

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From Cyberspace:
Paranormal Activity


Kahit saan, kahit kailan, maaasahan?

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

62 thoughts on “BUSTED!”

  1. @pic: dapat ang caption dyan ” Si Money Bilyar, ang sisira sa inyong kaligayan!”

    Seriously, About that Jason Ivler, kung walang media nung dinampot sya eh malamang patay na yan. Which is I think mas okay pa kung ganun ang nangyari para tapos na ang issue. Nasapawan tuloy si Krissy-bitchy-tinny-weeny-yellow-polka-dots-ni-James-Yuppy. Hehehe…

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  2. mabuti na lang at NBI ang nang raid at umaresto kay Ivler, kung PNP yan malamang patay na yan baka pati si Marlene Aguilar LOL. Good thing meron din Media kasama, laking tulong din.

    Regarding MONEY VIllar, yan ba ang gusto nyong maging presidente?? walang BALLS para harapin ang akusasyon sa kanya?? style ni GMA yan eh!! Kaya pala daming commercials ni MONEY Villar LOL!!!! wala pa sa Malacanang nangurakot na ampotah!!!

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    1. matapang lang kasi yang mga taga nbi pag-iisa lang ang kanilang kalaban at most especially pag walang military or combat background.

      ivler is also one-lousy-son-of-a-bitch. he’s using an armalite, yet he only managed to slightly harm 2 nbi agents. yan kasi nakukuha ninyong mga rich boys sa kakalaro ng paintball at airsoft. malayong malayao sa reality. ayan tuloy, naihi ka sa salawal mo, when the real thing came. lulz

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      1. bilib ka naman sa mga u.s. soldiers? ang magagaling lang sa kanila ay ang mga special forces nila. when it comes sa mga ordinary infantrymen, mga uhugin at sipunin lahat. mas magaling pa mga cafgu natin dito.

        kaya nga panay training nila sa mga 3rd world countries (especially philippines).

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  3. @eufems, syempre iba na ang malakas sa Malacanang 😉 LOL

    pero in fairness to NBI naman, justified na nakaposas si Ivler hanggang ICU bukod sa SOP yun napaka dangerous ni Ivler. Halata naman dun sa Video ng ABS and GMA, kita mo yung mata talagang papatayin lahat ang pwedeng patayin.

    Tsaka parang may sound bite akong narinig sa sinabi ni Ivler habang inaaresto na sya at nakatihaya sa sahig, something to the effect na “patayin nyo na ako”…tama ba??? May death wish talaga si gago

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  4. first time to comment here… pero lurker na since last year. ask ko lang, ikaw lang ba gumagawa ng mga blog posts mo or may kasama ka din, ka-brainstorm kumbaga. yung pinaparinig mo muna sa kanila yung mga punchlines mo, kung tatawa sila or hindi. tapos kailangan pa updated ang mga sinusulat mo… ang hirap kaya maging witty na may hinahabol na oras 🙂

    and gaya ng sabi ng isang nag comment, wala bang entry tungkol sa pag lift ng suspension ng showtime? hehe

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  5. Talagang minsan may pagka “sick” society tayo. Half of the comments I’ve read on Twitter are from girls saying how cute Jason Ivler is.

    Since meron palang rap CD si Jason, who knows he may yet turn out to be a teen heartthrob showbiz personality.

    O girls sabay-sabay kayo ha: “Jason ang galing-galing mo, pa-kiss naman dyan!”

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    1. FYI pinakita kagabi sa 24 oras, pumasok din pala sa showbiz dati si Ivler and starred sa TGIS. So its not surprising na makakita ka ng reaction na ganyan sa mga girls, pero Yeah I have to agree with you…as sickening as it may sound some girls really do admire him because of his looks.

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    1. hmmm interesting thought sir. However ano kaya gagawin ng US Embassy kung sakalaling mahatulan si Ivler as GUILTY? I-take into custody ba ulit ng US Embassy si Ivler (He is by the way an American Citizen and a former US Army Ranger who served in Iraq) the way na ginawa nila kay Cpl. Daniel Smith???

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  6. Mr. Heckler,

    I admire your witty and highly-entertaining blogs but I felt that the joke on the late Mr. Remonde, no matter how harmless it may seems is totally uncalled for and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Let’s respect the recently deceased instead of making fun of him.

    Thanks.

    Manny V.

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    1. i’ve blogged about almost a dozen deaths. i hope you’ll find time reading those posts. my readers know this: i rarely argue with them lalo na kung iba ang pananaw o interpretasyon nila sa isang item. but for this one, i must say NA-AH. i did not disrespect mr. remonde. i like the guy and i’ve had the opportunity to talk/work with him during a couple of kbp activities in the past. the item neither intended to be offensive nor disrespectful. mr cerge knows me and i’m pretty sure, he would be laughing at the item wherever he is now. unfortunately, iba ang interpretasyon mo at wala akong magagawa dun. thanks for droppin’ by.

      Like

    2. haku. heckle wise, yung key Cerge nga ang pinaka-subdued in my opinion. 🙂

      teka, wasn’t he the guy na kinuyog ng mga media-demonstrators papuntang malakanyang nung kasagsagan ng maguindanao massacre?

      another thing is, why is it that we’d always like to remember a dead person based on his good deeds? isn’t it kaplastikan na noong nabubuhay pa ang tao, grabe batikos sa kanya, now that he/she has died, kon todo naman ang papuri nga mga dating bumabatikos sa kanya?

      funny.

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  7. After the mother-and-son tandem of Irene and Hayden Kho hugged the headlines last year for their amusing antics and remarks, here comes another pair of nuts, Marlene Aguilar and Jason Ivler. Ms. Aguilar seems so confused… one time she denounces and hates the US military… now she asks the US to help ‘one of the best soldiers of America’, referring to Jason. In fairness to Jason, he’s consistent unlike his mother…he doesn’t change his behavior and habits… Ask the Ponces, the Ebarles and the raiding NBI team.

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  8. Caridad Sanchez line sent me laughing on my desk hard enough to knock my knee on the metal frame. Hahaha!!! –and for arresting her due to indecent exposure. win!

    and re Cerge Remonde, I wonder how will it be when (God forbid) it will be Ignacio Bunye’s turn.

    Something like, “his bodies are buried, one fake and the other the master copy…”

    Have a great day PH!

    Like

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