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TIRADES

6 01 2010

AFTER A LONG VACATION, we all returned to work this week. Some were really excited because they love their job. Others may not exactly take pride in what they’re doing but at the end of the day, it’s the huge paycheck that matters. Ask Sigfrid Fortun.


The Ampatuan Trial
According to the Philippine Daily Inquirer, amid flashing camera bulbs and murmuring from spectators, Andal Ampatuan Jr. looked “bored” when he arrived at Camp Crame for his arraignment. That’s understandable though since Andal is not used to being surrounded by people… who are alive.

During the arraignment, defense lawyer Sigfrid Fortun revealed that Andal Ampatuan Jr. was neither conversant in English nor Filipino. His English vocabulary is very limited. In fact, Andal Jr. only knows one verb and one pronoun: “kill” and “them.”

Although Andal Ampatuan Jr. had difficulty expressing himself in English, his lawyer Sigfrid Fortun was quick to adjust to the situation. It helped that Fortun once had a client named Joseph Estrada.

Trivia (No cheating please. Bawal mag-Google!)
Of these four local Mindanao executives, who had a cameo in the 2005 movie “Sablay Ka Na, Pasaway Ka Pa” topbilled by presidential son Mikey Arroyo?
A: Sultan Kudarat Governor Suharto ‘Teng’ Mangudadatu
B: ARMM Governor Zaldy Uy Ampatuan
C: Sultan Kudarat Rep. Datu Pax Mangudadatu
D: Former Maguindanao Governor Andal Ampatuan Sr.

Make a quick guess before you right click here for the answer.

Wala ‘Yan sa Lolo Ko!
According to the Philippine Star, the Liberal Party is deploying a 600,000-strong “Yellow Army” of volunteers to campaign for presidential bet Noynoy Aquino
… to which Nacionalista Party standard-bearer Manny Villar said, “Wala ‘yan sa guest candidates kong sina Liza Maza at Satur Ocampo! May 40-year-old ‘Red Army.’”

Reports say the Liberal Party is deploying a 600,000-strong “Yellow Army” of volunteers to campaign for its presidential bet Noynoy Aquino…
… to which former GMA 7 reporter and senatorial candidate Alex Tinsay said, “Wala ‘yan kay Brother Eddie! May 5 million-strong “Prayer Warriors!”

The Liberal Party is reportedly deploying a 600,000-strong “Yellow Army” of volunteers to campaign for presidential bet Noynoy Aquino…
… to which a staunch administration ally said, “Wala ‘yan sa Lakas-Kampi-CMD! May libu-libong counting machines!”

New Facebook Fight
Reacting to an Inquirer article that Noynoy Aquino has the most number of Facebook followers among the eight presidential candidates, Sen. Richard Gordon says, “It is not Facebook that matters here. It is not your face that matters. It is the book of accounts. Ano ang kakayahan ni Noynoy Aquino sa local government? Hindi pa siya nasubukan ni sa barangay captain. Even in legislature, ano ang batas na nagawa niya na nararamdaman na ng taong-bayan?” Noynoy Aquino vowed to answer Gordon’s tirade point by point as soon as he has finished harvesting strawberries on Farmville.

New Facebook Fight II
Reacting to Sen. Richard Gordon’s statement on Sen. Noynoy Aquino and his Facebook supporters, Aquino’s spokesman Edwin Lacierga says “Gordon just wants attention so his ratings will rise as well.” Lacierga adds Noynoy himself will answer Gordon’s diatribe as soon as the senator finishes decorating his newly constructed house on Pet Society.

Toilet Campaign?
Presidential economic spokesperson Gary Olivar says the MMDA’s plan to install green toilets for women under footbridges will be an advantage to Lakas-Kampi-CMD standard bearer Gilbert Teodoro whose campaign motif is green. But die-hard supporters of the Liberal Party are unfazed, with one Noynoy Aquino fanatic saying, “Eh ano naman kung berde ang toilet? Bakit… ano ba ang kulay ng t*e?” [Ewww!]

Petition vs. Leftists
Leftist lawmaker Liza Maza dismissed as “baseless” a disqualification case filed against her and fellow senatorial candidate Satur Ocampo for being supporters of armed rebels (CPP-NPA). I am not sure what was funnier: the disqualification petition or the denial.

Showbiz: Angel and Efren
Interviewed on ABS-CBN, Angel Locsin revealed that CNN Hero of the Year Efren Peñaflorida Jr. was planning to court her. Sought for comment by GMA News, Kuya Ef confirmed Locsin’s revelation. [My lips are sealed… for now.]
__________
“Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death.”
~Coco Chanel

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48 responses

6 01 2010
eufems

Ah, the Kuya Ef(f) has entered the web of politics

Kuya Ef plans to court Angel Locsin who endorses Satur Ocampo who is a senatoriable of Manny Villar. Angel’s ex Luis is the father of Edu Manzano who is the VP of Gibo who is the cousin of Noynoy Aquino

[nonsense no?]

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6 01 2010
jazel

LOL sa facebook fight :))

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6 01 2010
Marga

Angel endorsing Satur Ocampo = 😮

And UGH. Efren should just shut up now. Passively busted na nga siya ni Angel in her PEP interview. Bordering on delusional na. I have respect for him as an educator. But what he’s doing is medyo parang Pacman syndrome na.

Pero benta talaga yung facebook status ni Efren: “TRULABW8S!”

Ugh.

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7 01 2010
mark

That’s exactly how i feel. Give him a bit of fame and he thinks he can do whatever he wants. At nilalabas pa sa media. Pacquiao syndrome nga.

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7 01 2010
chuchumetoy

“nalunod sa isang basong tubig”

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6 01 2010
chiwee

Eyyyy ?!? As in, hindi nagma-Mafia Wars sa Facebook si Kuya Noynoy ko? 😀 😀

I used to be a facebook fan of Dick and Miriam, months before Cory Aquino died. Dahil wala namang nasagot sa mga comments dun, puro lang sila postings ng mga achievements nila, halatang assistants lang nila ang nagawa ng posts, nilayasan ko silang lahat.

Yan ang prob sa mga facebook accounts ng mga politicos. They don’t even bother to get/acknowledge feedbacks from their constituent-readers-fans.

Pero I won’t leave the group as “fan” of my Kuya Noynoy. Sayangs ang one less member sa labanan ng numbers nila. hehe.

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6 01 2010
chiwee

Ano naman kaya ang nilalaro ni Erap sa Facebook? Zynga POKER or Blackjack? 🙂

Si Gibo siguro, malamang MAFIA Wars din kagaya namin ni phreddox kasi ex-Defense chief siya. Or pwede ring Special Forces.

Si Brother Eddie, baka Vampire Wars para malabanan ni Lord ang mga kampon sa kadiliman.

Si Dick Gordon, Word Twist, kasi “war of the words” na ang drama nya ngayon.

And lastly, si Jamby siguro, Fashion Wars. 🙂

JC who? forget him. Nag ka-kape most prob’ly sa Cafe World para makapag muni-muni kung anong date siya mag-aannounce ng withdrawal. 😀 😀 😀

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6 01 2010
Onli

I for one, am all for Efren aiming for the stars (ahem). A man’s reach should (after all) exceed his grasp and all that.

Ah, but you are doing The Lord’s Work here. Keep it up! Kudos! 🙂

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6 01 2010
Brixter

Sa Women’s urinal, pwede ba both? Why not but Eeeew!

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6 01 2010
Rex

The CNN Award must have made kuya Ef’s balls bigger.

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6 01 2010
bukopie28

i wonder where the LP will get money to fund the yellow army? villar has more than enough to fund his reds and oranges as well as the campaign of Loren.

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7 01 2010
eufems

di ba Loren was pink like another NP Pia and Makabayan’s Masa

ano kaya ang itsura ng ‘Pink Army’ ni Bayani?

sa bagay may ‘Pink Sisters’ si Noynoy…

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6 01 2010
nhix

Amp! Dahil sa gngwa ni Efren, mdmi n tuloy smin ang ayaw sknya. Okay n sana, CNN Hero of the Year, great educator. KASO, naman! Lagyan naman nya ng presyo sarili nya. ang CHEAP! Okay lang yung crush kaso NAKAKATAWA na talga ung mga pnagsasabi nya!

FUNNY to death! 😀

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6 01 2010
thepiaya

a masterpiece once again, ph! tutulog na namang akong nakangiti! tsk tsk tsk. . kung pwede nga lang matulog nang nakatawa. . .

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6 01 2010
senior60

may i add lang, re: wala ‘yan sa lolo ko…

…….to which michael v. said, “wala ‘yan kay manny v.!

every now and then nasa tv!”

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7 01 2010
Matteo

WIN!

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7 01 2010
itskaye

True that, Marga. I am proud of him as an educator pero, please lang stfu re: Angel Locsin. Super dinecline na nga ni Angel yung offer niya, in a good way. C’mon. Mag-concentrate na lang sa pagtulong. Pfft. But who knows? Tsk.

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8 01 2010
siobhan

mag-concentrate sa pagtulong? you’re funny. i think they’re friends naman. give the man a break, tao lang din ‘yan. 🙂

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8 01 2010
raul

matalino si efren, alam nya na to pursue angel, considering na mag-kaiba sila ng mundong ginagalawan, will make a lot of noise particularly among her admirers.…hanga nga ako sa fighting spirit n’ya. Who knows, baka matagal na nyang pinapangarap yan and winning the CNN’s hero of the year, he might think, boosted his chances. Tao lng din yan at may karapatang umibig. Give him some respect for that.

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7 01 2010
siyetehan

panalo talaga ang mga fortun pagdating sa mga kliyente

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7 01 2010
Magsasaka

Wow! Ibang klase talaga ang hustisya sa Pilipinas. Hindi ba’t isang pagtatarantado sa korte at saligang batas ang pagsasabi ng isang harap harapan na kasinungalingan? Papaano magiging public official ang isang pilipino kung hindi man lang marunong magtagalog??? Ang masama pa, naniwala naman at pinagbigyan ng judge! Tignan mo nga naman ang nagagawa ng pera, ipagtatanggol ang taong pumatay ng 50 katao. What if buong angkan ni Sigfrid 50 na yun? Grabe, I can’t believe na nangyayari pala talaga yung mga napapanood ko sa comedy movies like “Liar Liar”. F@CKED JUSTICE, F@CKED PEOPLE, F@CKED COUNTRY! Thanks PH.

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7 01 2010
Matteo

tae. hahaha! btw, Facebook’s Election 2010 has had Gibo consistent on the top spot. I hope it speaks true for the majority of the Filipinos.

But is it true that Noynoy’s Facebook page is a converted Cory tribute page?

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7 01 2010
TOMADOR

this cracked me up….LOL 😀

“to which a staunch administration ally said, “Wala ‘yan sa Lakas-Kampi-CMD! May libu-libong counting machines!”

coz it may never be far from the truth!! LOL

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7 01 2010
doodsy

Sir,
hindi po sa RTC, Q.C. ang arraignment kundi sa Camp Crame po

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7 01 2010
professionalheckler

thanks for the info. sorry.

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7 01 2010
Lady Gaga in Pink

TAMA KO DUN SA trivia..hehe..ive read that when you wrote here that mickey arroyo has a (FLOP) movie…

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7 01 2010
hikatalomato

nag-iyakan pa nga kami ng mga alaga kong pusa during efren’s acceptance speech, tapos sisirain lang niya kanyang imahe dahil lang kay “god-knows-how-many-cock-she-suck” angel locsin.

me kasabihan nga tayo: “O utog na makapangyarihan. pag umatake sa puson ninuman. Hahamakin ang lahat, maiyot ka lamang”

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7 01 2010
badong

ngayon lang nadinig yang kasabihan mo ha… :))

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7 01 2010
badong

ngayon ko lang nadinig yang kasabihan mo ha… :))

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8 01 2010
elmer

wahahahahahha! okey ‘tsong!

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7 01 2010
Rob aka Tito Boy

New Facebook Fight

Si Noynoy Farmville trip

si Erap….Mafiawars at Poker! haha

PH, Loralie Fajardo got sacked wawa.
Wala nang candid spokeswoman ang malacanan hehe.

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7 01 2010
iamrico

gibo and noynoy are related not only by blood but also by their political colors = green toilet + yellow sh*t [eeeew talaga]

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7 01 2010
juanaganda

..which is funnier? the denial of course! kasi naman pagdating sa usaping pulahan at makakaliwa tulad nila, para mo na ring tinanong kung katoliko nga ba ang Papa sa Roma………….

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7 01 2010
krisAnino

goodluck ke kuya Ef mukang gusto ni angel ng mga douchebags

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7 01 2010
Jay fr SG

Happy New Year Mr Heckler

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7 01 2010
rommel

LOL. 2 english word…lagot! hehehe

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7 01 2010
stephanie asuncion

just a correction, the arraignment of ampatuan jr. was not held at the qcrtc but at camp crame where a social hall was transformed into a courtroom. the succeeding hearings will also be held at the police camp for security reasons.

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7 01 2010
elmer

i agree… dapat kip distance na lang c efren kay angel coz showbiz makes him “cheap”… but let’s not judge efren coz he’s still human being…”tinitigasan” din.. he wants who’s not only sooooooooooo sexy BUT also very HOT in bed…. P.S. To Kuya Ef…. “Batibot na lang muna”…. To Angel:….. pls. leave Efren alone!!! you’re NOT of the same level… mas mataas ka kasi me pakpak ka at nasa langit pa… c kuya mababa kasi kariton lang cya nasa lupa… smog ng metro manila ang inyong pagitan…oke!!!

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8 01 2010
Rob aka Tito Boy

Nasa lupa man si Efren at nagtutulak ng kariton, mas marangal at may kabuluhan naman ang ginagawa niya kesa sa patambling-tambling ni Angel sa Darna.

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7 01 2010
RAVJr

Di pa uubra kay Angel si Efren…

Si Angel, SUPERHERO(INE) kasi sya si Darna… si Efren, HERO lang.

LOL!

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7 01 2010
LM

Can you heckle on yourself? hehehe

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7 01 2010
kups

“god-knows-how-many-cock-she-suck”…sexist!geez its not angels fault..tel efren to leave her alone

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7 01 2010
Edwini

angel is a FORMER DARNA. gma owns the rights TO wholl be called darna hehehe
6 words for ANDAL JR. INTERVIEW WITH JESSICA SOHO.
and on the part of blaming milf.
I hope your houses got robed and ransack for all its worth.

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8 01 2010
TOMADOR

hayaan nyo na si Efren, nangarap sya bigyan ng edukasyon ang mga batang lugmok sa kahirapan….nagawa naman nya diba…may international recognition pa sya!

ngayon nangangarap manligaw ng isang high profile actress, pagbigyan nyo yung tao karapatan nya yan. if he fails, at least he tried diba? He had the balls to come up to Angel’s father and asked permission, aba san ka pa ba makakahanap ng ganyang lalake ngayon? Give the guy a break!

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8 01 2010
melo

Miko,Oyoboy,Lucky and Efren….haba ng hair ni Angel…sayang maaga siyang NALAOS!
Flop movies ni Mikee..meron bang nag-hit..aber!

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9 01 2010
suskupo

Ang CNN hero of the year award naman ay ibinoto ng mga tao through the internet….ang pagkapanalo lang ni Efren ay dahil sa maraming Pinoy na walang magawa at mga Pinoy na walang ginawa kundi ang mag-internet, binoto si Efren, kaya yun nanalo si Efren!!! Ang mga Pinoy naman humanga na agad kay Efren, ang Pinoy nga naman!!! Proud to be Pinoy daw!!~ tapos noong nagyari na ang Ampatuan case?, Proud to be Pinoy pa rin ba kayo!!!

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10 01 2010
Rob aka Tito Boy

So pare bullshit lang pala yung lahat na ginagawa ni efren?

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17 01 2010
Farmville mastery

Great post thanks! Im totally addicted to Farmville at the moment, I wonder what will be the next big craze though? Perhaps fishville?

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