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2009 IN RETROSPECT

30 12 2009

IT’S THE END OF 2009. Time to hand out special awards to some of the year’s newsmakers who kept readers of this blog talking, arguing, and yes, heckling one another even.

For some of the categories, there will be a winner and a runner-up. Remember: the role of the runner-up is very important. If for any reason, the winner declines his or her award, the runner-up takes over to fulfill the responsibilities of the winner. Are you ready?

In no particular order, The 2009 Heckler’s Choices are…

“Suicide Bomber” of the Year Award
Winner: Sen. Francis ‘Chiz’ Escudero for dropping a bomb in a gathering of his supporters at Club Filipino. He quit his party and abandoned his presidential bid
“Sa aking paniniwala, sinuman pong nagpaplanong tumakbo bilang pangulo ng bansa, wala dapat partidong kinabibilangan. Ang partido lamang dapat niya ay Pilipinas at ang kanyang mga kapartido ay lahat ng Pilipino.”
Whatever Chiz, whatever!

“In Memoriam” Award
Winner: Sen. Mar Roxas’ quest for the presidency in 2010
– Disgusting political ads + Korina Sanchez + Wowowee appearances: the trifecta of a disastrous premature political campaign
– He languished in presidential surveys until he withdrew his presidential plans. For his supporters, it was a “supreme sacrifice.” For the Professional Heckler, it was a “graceful exit.”
Runner-up: Korina Sanchez’s bid for First Lady
– After praising her then fiancé’s “selfless act,” she went ballistic on radio, demanded an apology from Inquirer columnist Conrado De Quiros, and lambasted Sen. Francis “Bum Ka Lang sa UP nang Bigyan Kita ng Trabaho sa Dos’” Pangilinan. Ah, bitterness.

“Napilitan Lang Po” Award
Winner: Sen. Noynoy Aquino
– His mother and his sisters were against the idea. He lacked ambition. He lacked determination. He lacked leadership. But he’s got all the stars! That makes him the man to beat next year. Vilma Santos has a term for that: Lucky.
Runner-up: Edu Manzano
A last-minute replacement for Ronaldo Puno, the tv host is facing an uphill climb on his vice presidential bid. If it’s any consolation, there’s a chance that he’ll get more votes than Jejomar Binay, his tormentor in Makati City

“Laglagan Na” Award
Winner: Sen. Panfilo Lacson for his series of anti-Erap privilege speeches
– “God, save the Philippines from Joseph Ejercito a.k.a Joseph Estrada,” Lacson said.
– God knows whatever happened to your exposés Ping! Ano nga ba?
Runner-up: Sen. Jinggoy Estrada for unmasking the “real” Panfilo Lacson as he took the cudgels for his father
– A month-long ‘bangayan’ that exposed both camps’ misdeeds – allegations that were probably true.

“Me and My Stupid Mouth” Award
Winner: Cong. Mikey Arroyo for his incriminating statements during his live guesting on GMA 7’s “Unang Hirit.”
– He redefined the concept of idiocy.
Runner-up: Cerge Remonde on GMA’s breast implant
“As I said, res ipsa loquitur (the matter speaks for itself). Just look if the President had a breast implant. That’s a private matter. It’s obvious if women have had breast implants. The sexy actresses with (unbelievable) boobs, they’re the ones who underwent breast implants. We can’t say the same thing of the President.”
Aha! Bakit mo alam? Lagi kang nakatitig ‘no?

“Agaw-Eksena” Award
Winner: The H1N1 Virus
– It was the beginning of humanity’s end. Not!
– People avoided public places and commuter trains. Classes were suspended. La Salle Taft became a ghost town. And Asia’s first H1N1 fatality was from the House of Representatives. When the dust settled, Safeguard posted quadruple sales. Hindi kaya pakana lang ng Procter & Gamble ang H1N1 panic?
Runner-up: Former Pagsanjan, Laguna Mayor Abner Afuang
– It was neither Katrina Halili nor Maricar Reyes who showed the nation how to make Hayden Kho wet in mere seconds. It was a fuming ex-cop. And it happened during a Senate hearing.

“Opportunity Knocks Only Once” Award (Also known as ‘Oportunista’ Award)
Winner: Sen. Loren Legarda
-She changes parties faster than she changes panties. Ooops, sorry. An adversary of Sen. Manny Villar during the C5 hearings, she is now his running mate. Why are we not surprised?
Runner-up: Satur Ocampo and Liza Maza
-Initially, they ditched the Nacionalista Party because of Bongbong Marcos. But look where they are now? Rubbing elbows with the dictator’s unico ijo. Whatever happened to ideology?

“Nakausap Ko Si Lord” Award
Winner: Pampanga Gov. Among Ed Panlilio
– In announcing his presidential ambition in July 2009, Panlilio claimed God wanted him to seek higher office. He failed to warn us though that God was fickle-minded.
Runner-up: Bro. Eddie Villanueva
– He’s been saying that the Lord wants him to run. In 2004, God did endorse him but God also voted for another candidate.

“My Lips Are Sealed…” Award
Winner: Sen. Manny Villar
– To the consternation of Senators Jamby Madrigal and Panfilo Lacson, Villar refused to testify on the C5 road project double insertion fiasco at the Senate hearing. The ploy worked for Mr. Sipag at Tiyaga. He maintained his lead in presidential surveys… until Cory Aquino died.
Runner-up: Maricar Reyes
– One of the lead actresses in Hayden Kho’s indie film, Reyes stole the limelight from Katrina Halili when she bagged the Best Actress in a Single Performance Award from the public. Unfortunately, up to this day, she refuses to deliver an acceptance speech.

“Walang Makakaagaw ng Award na Ito Sa Akin” Award
Winner: National Artist Cecile Guidote-Alvarez
– She is the executive director of the National Commission for Culture and the Arts, one of two agencies tasked to search for National Artists. ‘Tapos, siya mismo nanalo?!?!?!?! FYI lang po Ms. Alvarez: naimbento na po ang konsepto ng delicadeza!
Runner-up: National Artist Carlo J. Caparas
– National Artist for Visual Arts and Film?!? Visual Arts na, Film pa? Sa’n ka pa!?!

“Sorry… Tao Lang Po” Award
Winner: Fashion designer Boyet Fajardo for his outburst in a Duty Free Philippines outlet in Parañaque City
– Fajardo’s credit card didn’t bear his signature. When the cashier asked for another ID, he got possessed, and told the staff: “Mga leche kayo! Hindi n’yo ako kilala? Ako si Boyet Fajardo! At itong putang-inang babaeng ito at ang baklang ito ay mga walang kuwentang tao! I want them fired!”
– Until now though, people are still wondering, “Sino ba ang punyetang Boyet Fajardo na ‘yan?!?”
Runner-up: HK Magazine columnist Chip Tsao for bullying his Filipina maid and calling the Philippines “a nation of public servants”
– The sad thing? It’s true.
[Fajardo and Tsao subsequently apologized but not after getting pilloried by bloggers, columnists, and some opportunist politicians.]

“WTF!” Award
Winner: President Arroyo’s Breast Implant
– Who would have thought that our diminutive president had a boob job some 20 years back? Really. Kudos to the doctors and staff of the Asian Hospital in Alabang, Muntinlupa City for leaking her medical records. Wish ko lang may magtiwala pa sa inyo. Good luck!
Runner-up: Former presidential spokesperson Lorelei Fajardo
– Whenever she spoke, I wanted to believe that she’s been “planted” by the opposition to destroy the president. For chrisssakes, tell me: how on earth was she appointed spokesperson of the world’s once 4th most powerful woman?

“Saksakan ng Kapal ng Apog” Award
Winner: Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
– From cabinet secretary to senator to vice president to president to congresswoman! What’s next? Barangay Tanod?!?
Runner-up: Andal Ampatuan Jr.
I need not elaborate. The man is a beast.

“Testing Lang… Baka Makalusot” Award
Co-Winners: Manny Pacquiao and ABS-CBN
Weeks before he fought Ricky Hatton, Pacquiao rescinded his existing deal with Solar Sports and signed a contract with ABS-CBN. Threatened with lawsuits, Manny decided to junk the Kapamilya Network and honored his contract with Solar.

“Bolahin Mo ang Lolo Mong Panot” Award (Also known as “Saan Naman Nanggaling ‘Yung Linyang ‘Yun?” Award)
Winner: Joey De Venecia’s radio political ad
“Ang buhay ko, laging may banta. Hanapbuhay inipit. Kanegosyo, tinakot. Pero lahat ng ito kaya kong tiisin makasama ko lang kayo sa pagsulong ng pagbabago at pag-angat sa kahirapan. Palabra de Honor. Delicadeza. De Venecia.”
Yeah right!
Runner-up: Mar Roxas’ “Padyak”
“Sama-sama tayo. Hindi ko kayo pababayaan. Lalaban tayo!”
Akala ko ba lalaban tayo? Eh, bakit ka umurong?

Special Citations
1: Worst Dancer in a Political Ad Masquerading as an Information Campaign for a Government Agency
Winner: Augusto “Tito Buboy’ Syjuco for TESDA

2: Corniest Protest Paraphernalia a.k.a. “‘Pag ‘Di Pa Kami Napansin, Ewan Ko na Lang” Award
Winner: The Liberal Party’s “Bawang Wreath and Necklace” during the Anti-Con Ass rally in June 2009

FINALLY…
Quotable Quote of the Decade:
“Hello, Garci?”
_______________
“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”
~ Bill Vaughn

Survey Says
In general, how was your 2009?
Great! 23%
Good! 27%
Okay lang! 29%
Punyeta! 21%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal
Have a great 2010 everyone! Again, thank you keeping me company during the past 365 days. The Professional Heckler looks forward to seeing you back here. Stay safe, healthy, and full of love. Peace!

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62 responses

30 12 2009
rian

i love it. ahahahaha
looking forward for my heckling next year. ahahaha. and feeling ko mapapadalas updates mo next year, election is coming kasi eh.
Have a Blessed New Year!!!

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30 12 2009
marsheemarsh

“Bolahin Mo ang Lolo Mong Panot” Award

– favorite award! haha

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30 12 2009
chiwee

Mine too! hahahahahaha.

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30 12 2009
siobhan

Galing! I salute your spontaneity, wit and humour. I’ve said this before, a lot of times actually, and I’ll say it again, Professional Heckler is the best there is! Have a great year ahead. More awards and rakets sir! 🙂

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30 12 2009
Tito Boy

Congrats to the winners:

Sayang hindi nasama nominees ko haha:

1. “Bolahin Mo ang Lolo Mong Panot” Award (Also known as “Saan Naman Nanggaling ‘Yung Linyang ‘Yun?” Award)

Manny Villar – “Si MV ang magtatapos sa ating kahirapan” WTF. Dapat diyan “Si MV ang magbabaon sa atin sa kahirapan”

2.WTF Award – Fajardo for saying “the ampatuans and GMA are still friends despite what happened…we are not going to leave them” haha. Kaya after noon, has anybody seen Fajardo near the Malacanan Press Corp?

3. Napilitan lang po award. – Mike Defensor for QC mayoralty. Running for pure grudge haha.

Teka PH, wala bang award si Ex-Doctor Kho and Dr. Belo? Your entire year’s blog composed half of them haha.

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30 12 2009
professionalheckler

hahaha! nakakasuka na sila. tama na ‘yung yearender ni tito ricky lo sa column niya

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30 12 2009
chiwee

Wala man lang award ang Malala Na Kaya? Dumami bigla readers/followers mo doon because of it.

Forget the forgettable Bro. Eddie post. Although it was one of the most-read before it disappeared, kutob ko, na-maligno ang milagro dun because of the fanatics. hehehehe.

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30 12 2009
professionalheckler

ok lang. as much as possible kasi ayaw kong isama ang showbiz. 🙂

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30 12 2009
Tweets that mention THE YEAR THAT WAS « The Professional Heckler -- Topsy.com

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Pulitika, Pulitika. Pulitika said: THE YEAR THAT WAS http://bit.ly/6aIc3D […]

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30 12 2009
badong

PH sana lang wala ng “Makapal ang Apog Award sa 2010”!

Happy New Year!

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30 12 2009
jannah

De Venecia definitely walang delizadeza.

Good work PH. Wish you best of “heckling” for the coming year .

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30 12 2009
soledad

Runner-up: Mar Roxas’ “Padyak”
-“Sama-sama tayo. Hindi ko kayo pababayaan. Lalaban tayo!”
Akala ko ba lalaban tayo? Eh, bakit ka umurong?

— PH, muntik na tumapon yung iniinom kong kape..’wisit ka!! ahahahahha!

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2 01 2010
joey

di nga?

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30 12 2009
kaylai3000

saan si lito lapid, PH?

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30 12 2009
Mistervader

“Lalaban tayo!”

Famous last words, eh? 😛

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30 12 2009
Menchu

Galing mo talaga! Thank you PH and best wishes for 2010!

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30 12 2009
danny

Happy Heckling New Year PH! And everyone else in between =)

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30 12 2009
topdog

I will go to the New Year laughing! Happy New Year to you Mr. PH and Mr. Senior60 (now Senior61)

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30 12 2009
chiwee

Senior 61….. lols!

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4 01 2010
Worried Pinoy

Full Blown Senior na si Senior60! Senior-sisentai-uno! hehehe

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30 12 2009
Smile

fun fun fun.

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30 12 2009
luwiness

panalo ka talaga…. i’m sure you’ll have a lot to heckle about next year…. more awards… yiiiihiiii….

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30 12 2009
uberVU - social comments

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by Pulitika: THE YEAR THAT WAS http://bit.ly/6aIc3D

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30 12 2009
darkcheron

awww…. group hug!!!

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30 12 2009
esa

Happy New Year Mr. Professional Heckler. Nice ones about Korina and Loren…

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30 12 2009
banjo

home wrecker award: krista ranillo

“it” girl award: aling dionisia

happy new year, loi.

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31 12 2009
kaylai3000

good suggestion!

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30 12 2009
melo

Tumbok na tumbok mo, PH yung “Napilitan lang po” award…sana mabasa at matauhan naman yung mga Hacienda Luisita folks…Runaway winner talaga yung “Saksakan ng Kapal Ng Apog” awardee,dapat tie sila nung anak niya…Hapi New Year and more hapi heckling!!

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30 12 2009
senior60

para kay noynoy, mas gusto ko yung “Opportunity Knocks
Only Once” award (also known as “Oportunista” award )

sama ako sa iyo mister heckler doon sa “graceful exit” ni mar
under ” In Memoriam” award

uy topdog, alam mo, ginamit ko lang ang number 60 dahil
this number signifies, tama ba signifies hindi ako sure, na
a person is already a senior citizen, pero ang katotohanan
niyan ako ay 65 na, ooops huwag mong sabihin na ako ay
amoy lupa na baaad yan hahaha

at tama ka, kailangan happy tayong lahat and may we also
have a prosperous year ahead

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31 12 2009
cefas

joke tym k PH! pambihira ka! hahaha

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31 12 2009
mae23md

your blog is one of the best i have discovered this year. looking forward to more heckling in the year of our LOrd 2010. Bless you, professional heckler

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31 12 2009
mbw

thanks for all the “saying it as it is” yet making me laugh, Heckler!
Happy New Year!

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31 12 2009
chares

Happy new year mr. heckler!

from your loyal blog follower..

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31 12 2009
eufems

Walang Decade Political Hit Chart? Siguro pasok dun yung ‘Magtatapos sa Kahirapan’, ‘Hindi Ka Nag-iisa’, at ‘Eddie Ako’

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31 12 2009
Arjhei

The best talaga… ^^… Lagi ko inaantay ang mga bagong heckles mo. Keep up the good work!

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31 12 2009
Anay

biggest laugh i’ve had all year…thanks

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31 12 2009
borJ

Nice one for a year-ender PH.
What ever happened to Lorelei Farajardo now? Baka ginawa ng spokesperson
ng mga Ampatuans and seksi-tari ni Atty. Fortun…lol

Happy New Year PH. More juicy blogs on 2010…Year of the Tiger…My Year !..:0

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31 12 2009
randulf

hehehe ung ke gma ung gusto ko…brgy tanod hehehe
thank you khit papano nwawala lungkot ko dto…

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31 12 2009
Anonymous

PH, why don’t you compile in a book the witty blog entries that your wrote in 2009? i know of a publisher who’s willing to do that.

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31 12 2009
professionalheckler

why not? di ko kasi natututukan. 🙂

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31 12 2009
eufems

Bob Ong?

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31 12 2009
Jen T. Tuazon

A TIME Magazine article on feng shui: “How Feng Shui Is Being Discredited in Hong Kong
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1946757,00.html

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31 12 2009
Angelica

as usual ang galing!!!!!!!…looking forward to your 2010 heckling…..for sure masaya kasi election na……makabawi man lang sa mga walang kwentang mga politiko……they are there for…..entertainment ano pa nga ba…..serving the nation???? asa ka pa……

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31 12 2009
southparcph

I have been following your blog this year. I even listed it in my blog roll.

Enjoyed the read all year round, keep it up!

And have a healthy, productive and safe new year Loipogi!

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1 01 2010
elmer

ipa libro na yan!!!

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1 01 2010
BAROK

Peace and Happy New year to All!

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2 01 2010
jokel

Agaw Eksena award goes to Andal Jr for stealing the limelight from Efren Penaflorida

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2 01 2010
mavakes

agree! agree!

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2 01 2010
bukopie28

changes parties as fast as she changes panties… lol! and the graceful exit comment. swak na swak!

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2 01 2010
xin

Nice one…looking forward to more heckling in 2010…

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2 01 2010
anonymous

In memoriam award… hahaha! the padyak ads were indeed horrible.

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2 01 2010
Winston G. Arpon

On this part of the planet, you’re the only one who can heckle and get away with it.

My compliments!

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2 01 2010
Salim

lecheng Joey De Venecia na yan! ‘kala mo kung sinong santo sa Political Ad! nakupooooo! pag di ka naman napanot sa mga hunghang na mga ito.

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2 01 2010
Aina ♥

Hi Professional Heckler. I’ve been lurking here for months. I’ve always been a fan. Lol. Please keep the humorous posts coming. Kudos!

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2 01 2010
professionalheckler

thanks aina. happy new year!

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2 01 2010
edwini

I love the Mar roxas part. –
-“Sama-sama tayo. Hindi ko kayo pababayaan. Lalaban tayo!”
Akala ko ba lalaban tayo? Eh, bakit ka umurong?
^
KEEP EM COMING ESP THIS 2010 ELECTIONs!!!!

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3 01 2010
könig iphone

happy new year – love your blog

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3 01 2010
bradfeet

keep heckling PH… thanks for the spilled coffee on the keyboard and the ” lumobomg sipon” incidents caused by reading your blog .. hehehe..

happy new year …

2B1ASK1

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3 01 2010
JM

This is my first time to read your blog. It’s really good ^^ I’m reading the other entries now ^^

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3 01 2010
geek

you know what the sad thing about Chip Tsao’s post is? It is when a Filipino blogs about it and says it’s true. di ba? ang labo.

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7 01 2010
benj

ngayon ko lang nabalitaan ang bawang!

Like

8 01 2010
DJ_ROC

comedy yung aswang na gimik ni roxas at ng lp last year. ang baho siguro nun. hahaha!

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