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CHRISTMAS AND POLITICS

20 12 2009


APOLOGIES for the delayed post. It’s the Holiday Season people. Everyone is preoccupied with something: doing some last minute shopping, attending Christmas parties, reuniting with old friends, etc.

These days, people in the metro have the same schedule: 5 hours in the office or malls, 4 hours in traffic.

The Senate is holding a lavish Christmas celebration. Everyone is expected to attend… except for Chiz Escudero. The guy hates parties.

Guess who’ll be the busiest senator this Christmas! Who else but Loren Legarda. She’ll be hopping from party to party.

The Senate plans to recreate the Nativity Scene. Noynoy Aquino has been tapped to play the role of the Virgin.

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ap-3NmqtWVvvXM:http://zedomax.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/manger3.jpg Sen. Manny Villar won’t play any part in the Nativity Scene but he volunteered to donate the house, the lot, and the manger.

For some reason, Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile has rejected suggestions to let Senators Jamby Madrigal, Bong Revilla, and Lito Lapid to play the role of the three wise men.

Sen. Mar Roxas has repeatedly expressed interest to play the role of Joseph. But getting no support from his colleagues, he withdrew.

Eighty-two year old senator Joker Arroyo refused to take part in the activity. But that was understandable since Methuselah was never a part of the Nativity Scene.

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:I83Uad-jppqPnM:http://tn3-1.deviantart.com/fs12/300W/i/2006/310/b/b/The_3_wisemen_by_ephexiousone.jpg Not to be outdone, Malacañang is also recreating its own Nativity Scene. Virgilio Garcillano, Hermogenes Esperon, and Ronaldo Puno will portray the three kings. However, they are not expected to bring incense, gold, or myrrh. Instead, they will deliver… votes.

When Andal Ampatuan Jr. heard Malacañang’s plan, he sent a note to President Arroyo and volunteered his talent. He wanted to play the role of Herod so he could slaughter innocents.

The characters in the palace’s Nativity Scene were already complete when Mikey Arroyo angrily protested his exclusion. To pacify the presidential son, Malacañang people offered him a special but undemanding role. He’ll be the shit of a camel.

At the Lower House, congressmen couldn’t complete their own Nativity Scene. Nobody dared to play Jesus but everyone was qualified to play the role of an ass.

In Times Street, Sen. Noynoy Aquino has recreated his own Nativity Scene. His three wise men look dazed though because they’re following not just one but several stars.

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:trsjBYaEZrJ0iM:http://andrewerrington.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/three-wise-men.jpg Just as confused are the Three Kings in Sen. Richard Gordon’s Bagumbayan Party’s Nativity Scene. The kings are having a hard time following the star because of several street signs that say: “Walang tawiran, nakamamatay.”

Back to Times Street, Noynoy Aquino had a difficult time finishing his Nativity Scene because Kris Aquino insisted on playing the role of the star.

In Polk Street, chaos marred the recreation of the Estradas’ Nativity Scene. Erap played the role of Joseph but everday, a different woman plays the role of Mary.

The Nativity Scene in Gilbert Teodoro‘s house was reportedly one of the most intricate, beautiful, and well-crafted recreations. Unfortunately, only 2 percent of his friends have seen it.

You can find all kinds of Christmas decors at the residence of environmentalist Nicanor Perlas except for the Nativity Scene. According to the Comelec, he doesn’t have the capability and the resources to create one.

The Villars’ Laurel mansion in Shaw Blvd. boasts of the most expensive decors. There are two six-foot Christmas trees, two giant Santa Clauses, and two life-size Nativity Scenes. A recent survey showed that Villar has narrowed the gap between him and Noynoy so expect a double celebration this Christmas!

Bro. Eddie Villanueva’s own Nativity Scene tops them all. Surrounding the infant Jesus are 5 million sheep!

Finally, the Communist Party of the Philippines produced perhaps the oddest of all Nativity Scene re-creations. Their wise men are in Congress, the shepherds are in the Sierra Madre mountains, and their God is in the Netherlands!

In other news…
Manny Pacquiao, endorser of top brands like Nike, Rexona, and SMB now endorses presidential candidate Manny Villar. Mr. Sipag at Tiyaga is Pacquiao’s only endorsement that is currently No. 2 in the market.

Photo of the Weak
Ito po ay isang malinaw na patunay na may kakayahang ngumiti ang isang aso.


_____________________
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
~Anonymous

This Just In! The Commission on Elections, particularly 2nd Division members Nicodemo Ferrer, Elias Yusoph and Lucenito Tagle have junked the proposal of 1st Division commissioners to put colorful Christmas decors in their office. Yusoph, Tagle, and Ferrer described the proposal as “so gay.”

Have a productive week ahead!

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69 responses

20 12 2009
atebeybs

Mikey – Shit of the Camel………..wahahahahaa!

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20 12 2009
mike

wahahahaha! (second the motion)..

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21 12 2009
Worried Pinoy

3rd the motion! wahahaha… Shit and Urine in-one! Mother Effing Mikey!

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21 12 2009
chiwee

I fourth, fifth, sixth….seventh x 10 to the googoleth power the motion. 🙂

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20 12 2009
eufems

nice, puro nativity scenes…

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20 12 2009
badong

BWAHAHAHAH!!! I LIKE THE ONE THAT BECOME SHIT OF A CAMEL!!!

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20 12 2009
eufems

‘Bro. Eddie Villanueva’s own Nativity Scene tops them all. Surrounding the infant Jesus are 5 million sheep!’

siguro confused si Bro Eddie kasi akala niya siya ang tinutukoy na ‘Bro’ sa Nativity Scene ng ABS-CBN

‘Sen. Mar Roxas has repeatedly expressed interest to play the role of Joseph. But getting no support from his colleagues, he withdrew.’

… kasi naisip nila kung magiging Mary si Korina, mukhang imposible maipanganak ang isang bata. hindi na daw virgin birth

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20 12 2009
garju101

Good one! The one about Bro.Eddie’s 5million sheep was probably the best! Close second would be the one about the NPA. The one about GIBO’s 2% is also hilarious.

Mr.H you always crack us up! Keep it up! Happy holidays to you and to all who follow your blog.

BTW Mr.H are you not posting a blog about the cooking abilities of the Presidential Candidates as shown on Kapuso Jessica Soho’s programme?

Here’s the segment where GIBO is preparing Chicken Fricassee

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20 12 2009
professionalheckler

SAYANG nga eh. i didn’t get to see the episode. i only caught a third of the villar segment. thanks for the link.

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20 12 2009
kaylai3000

Way to go heckler! Jamby, Lito and Bong being rejected as the “wise men”.

And the CPA-NPA’s nativity scene really are so Lolz!

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20 12 2009
cdotraffic

“a different woman plays the role of Mary”

LOL! Another winning post, PH.

By the way, hindi aso si Andal Jr; isa siyang baboy.

Have a blessed Christmas, sir!

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21 12 2009
sykes

malamang nainsulto ang mga aso at baboy dahil naikumpara sila sa isang nilalang na halang ang kaluluwa

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20 12 2009
workathomepinoy

hahahaha! me and my wife coudn’t stop laughing! hope to have more laughs from your site! have bookmarked your site for more laughs at the office 😛

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20 12 2009
west_she

hahaha nice one heckler!!!

gs2 ko yung ang ky ERAP at ky AMPATUAN, LOL.

super galing mo tlga ha. idol 😀

more more more posts para nman medicine kami. – laughter. LOL

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20 12 2009
iamrico

uber funny.happy holidays PH!

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20 12 2009
atebeybs

I read an article in PEP regarding the presidentiables as guest sa Kapuso Mo Jessica Soho……..di ko napanood ung shows pero it seems pinapakita ng MGA presidential hopefuls natin ung galing nila s pagluluto.

And one thing noticeable………Si noynoy lang may adviser…hehehehehe……..hanggang cooking ba kelangan pa rin si Pink Sister

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21 12 2009
morning glory

haha. napansin ko din yan.

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22 12 2009
eufems

palibhasa yung nanay ang magaling mag-luto, hindi ung anak

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20 12 2009
alberto

why did you not Mention JC de los reyes?

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20 12 2009
ang manunusok

hmmm… wala yatang Nativity Scene si JC delos Reyes? ahhh…meron pala, di lang napansin na nageexist pala sya.

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20 12 2009
senior60

the whole episode is patok, pasok sa banga…

season’s greetings to all, peace on earth…

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20 12 2009
BAROK

Great post! Lahat ng presidentiables tinamaan!

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20 12 2009
nielboi

CPA-NPA’s nativity scene-panalo to!

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20 12 2009
jasper

among the last acts of diosdado macapagal before he stepped down as president were pardoning ex-defense sec sotelo and the murderer of moises padilla because they delivered votes in their respective balwatres for DM in the ’61 and ’65 presidential elections. baka kc madaliin ang paglilitis kay junior ampatuan para ma pardon ni gma b4 her term expires.

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21 12 2009
atebeybs

hmmmm…pede kasi nga rebellion ang case.

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21 12 2009
banjo

multiple murder.

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22 12 2009
eufems

BOTH!!!

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21 12 2009
joey

hmmmmmm…….. okey.

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21 12 2009
hikari

agree. another winning post!

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21 12 2009
kenneth_cole

swak yung kay loren. hahaha! jumping from party to party. tapos si chiz, walang mapuntahang party. hahahaha!!!!

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21 12 2009
derdo

This is one of your best posts ever. As I read it, I had to snicker quietly as the maid was in the room with me. She might have thought I was deranged had I guffawed loudly.

Ang galing mo!!!!

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21 12 2009
dudette

wow. may maid siya. sosyal!

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21 12 2009
chiwee

eyyyy? 🙂

what’s wrong with having maids in a country whose prime export are domestics or maids? kasi, kung hindi totoo ito, ba’t naging malaking issue noon ang pag-include ng “filipina” sa Brit dictionary na ang ibig sabihin ay maid?

wish ko lang sa mananalong presidente, sana’y tigilan na ang pag-deploy ng maids sa ibang bansa.

wish ko sa sarili ko, nawa’y ma-perfect ko ang paggawa ng meatballs para sa spag ko. 🙂

Merry Christmas everybody!

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21 12 2009
mike

hey peram naman ng maid mo haha..

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22 12 2009
atebeybs

I agree with you Chiwe….alam mo asar na asar ako kapag may ini interview sa tv na mga asawa ng babaeng OFWs na nagkaproblema abroad……..bakit di sila ang gumawa ng paraan para buhayin pamilya nya………..tas may mga lines pa sila na “paano na kami, siya lang inaasahan namin”…..pusang gala naman oo.

Stop sending female DH abroad….let their husband or father (in case single) go abroad and earn a living…….dami kelangan na mga skilled people…..bat di sila mag araltraining nun……..ung lasengo nga sa amin nung magka asawa napahiya yata sa mga bienan bigla nag aral ng pipe fitting….ayun pipe fitter na sa Qatar.

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22 12 2009
jay

@atebeybs:tama ka jan. malaking sacrifice ang ginagawa ng mga OFWs, minsan tinitipid pagkain para lang may ipadala. tapos ginagamit lang ng kanilang asawa na pambili ng bisyo o pangsuporta sa kanilang mga kabit.. sana maisip din nila na hindi namumulot ng pera ang mga OFWs.

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26 12 2009
raul

@atebeybs

my wife, despite her being a university graduate and a licensed elem. sch. teacher never got a chance to teach in govt. schools …minsan nang nag-volunteer sa govt. school para lng mabigyan ng priority kng may bakante pero tumigil at naghanap ng ibang mpagkakakitaan. pag sa private nman magturo, sa kakarampot na sweldo hindi pa rin mapagkasya ..kc nga pag nagtratrabaho na sya kailang na rin kumuha ng katulong para sa mga gawaing bahay. kaya out of desperation nag-apply as “MAID” sa ibang bansa!

her sad flight doesn’t mean na hindi ako gumagawa ng paraan. i’ve been working as an accountant for 14 years in manila. pero, w/ two kids attending school at sa mahal ng renta sa bahay, my earnings could barely make both ends meet.. ika nga. swerte na lng at ako’y nakakita din ng trabaho d2 sa Africa kaya napatigil ko si misis sa pagiging “maid”, but that was after two yrs na pagpa-alila nya.

just mention this because of your perception that husbands of OFWs ay hindi gumagawa ng paraan. nope! kng meron man only very few of them… sadya lng walng gaanong opportunity sa atin at nagkataon lng that only their wives have the opportunity as domestic helpers abroad. tingnan nyo na lng; dming college graduate sa atin ended up as security guards and even manual workers. most of us gumagawa naman talaga ng paraan….we grab every opportunity that comes our way kahit hindi na angkop sa training natin makaraos lng.

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21 12 2009
Tito Boy

Ang nativity ng NPA ang galing haha. Teka, diba walang diyos ang mga kumunista?

Kris Aquino kahit kailangan gusto maging center of attraction haha. Ang haba sobra nung add nila naubusan ng pondo si Noynoy.

Si Villar ang daming pera may bago nanamang add kay micheal v. at yung isa ginamit pa mga bata! Dyos ko.

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21 12 2009
bukopie28

Hindi umubra yung offer ni Mar to play Joseph. hahaha! naging understudy nalang sya.

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22 12 2009
eufems

Sya n lng dw ung pdyak n ggmtnn nina Joseph at Mary pagpuntang Egypt…
‘ramdam’ niya kasi sila…

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21 12 2009
The Bystander

Bravo, Mr. Heckler! One of the best ever! :applause:

You just made an otherwise gloomy Monday brighter!

Keep it up and happy holidays to you! :okay:

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21 12 2009
Lee

To have a quarter of the wit of the heckler is my Christmas wish.

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21 12 2009
cefas

PH, astig! dats all i can say

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21 12 2009
TOMADOR

eto panalo!

“The Nativity Scene in Gilbert Teodoro’s house was reportedly one of the most intricate, beautiful, and well-crafted recreations. Unfortunately, only 2 percent of his friends have seen it.” 😀

Medyo nagbago na ang count PH, ayun sa latest survery 5% na daw si Gibo so may dagdag 3 % naka kita na ng nativity scene nya hheheeheehe

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22 12 2009
atebeybs

Senior60……kinakantyawan ka ni Tomador…..hehehehe.

Panalo naman si Gibo sa survey ni PH ah……3rd nga lang si Noynoy…….it means intelihente mga readers ni PH.

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22 12 2009
mike

atebeybs eto from manoling morato: To say that only Marcos had his cronies is an understatement, for I have never seen more blood-thirsty leeches than in Cory’s term. Many of those who were downright poor and hungry for power and money feasted and took advantage of EDSA I.
Looking back, many of them became tycoons and taipans in no time and we see them around with their ill-gotten fortunes, thanks to EDSA I. That was precisely the reason I did not want to join them for I could see so many of them ready to devour the entire country to make up for what Marcos had deprived them of.

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22 12 2009
Search the Web on Snap.com

atebeybs eto from manoling morato : To say that only Marcos had his cronies is an understatement, for I have never seen more blood-thirsty leeches than in Cory’s term. Many of those who were downright poor and hungry for power and money feasted and took advantage of EDSA I.

Looking back, many of them became tycoons and taipans in no time and we see them around with their ill-gotten fortunes, thanks to EDSA I. That was precisely the reason I did not want to join them for I could see so many of them ready to devour the entire country to make up for what Marcos had deprived them of.

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22 12 2009
mike

atebeybs eto from manoling morato:

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23 12 2009
atebeybs

Yes Mike…..yan din point ko sa isang post ko dati……..the yellow boys looted Malacaniang of all the treasures…..pinaghati hatian nila…………these yellow boys are the same persons na nakapaligid ngayon kay noynoy……..ready to devour us again.

TAMA NA!……….SOBRA NA!………MAAWA NAMAN KAYO SA AMIN!

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23 12 2009
atebeybs

Yes Mike…..yan din point ko sa isang post ko dati……..the yellow boys looted Malacaniang of all the treasures…..pinaghati hatian nila…………these yellow boys are the same persons na nakapaligid ngayon kay noynoy……..ready to devour us again.

TAMA NA!……….SOBRA NA!………MAAWA NAMAN KAYO SA AMIN!

THE AQUINOS HAVE THEIR TIME ALREADY……..WALA NAMAN NANGYARI……..YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE?………THEN BOTH FOR NOYNOY.

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21 12 2009
bravo

Ang galing mo talaga PH! I laughed at every line. 🙂 Thanks and happy holidays!

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21 12 2009
smashingpinay

hahahaha. panalo ang post na ito. CPP is all over the world hahahaha.

kawawa naman si nick perlas. 😛

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21 12 2009
whatchamakulitz

wa ha ha ha funny as ever… Advance Merry Christmas and Happy New Year PH and to all your followers (fanatics).

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21 12 2009
Belisema

lahat ng post mo panalo. nakaka-aliw, nakaka-baliw.

maligayang pasko sa iyo at sa iyong mga mahal sa buhay…

ang pagbati mula sa isang magandang enkantada ng Saudi… 🙂

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21 12 2009
Belisema

salamat! lahat ng post mo, panalo! nakaka-aliw, nakaka-baliw.

magandang pasko sa iyo at sa lahat ng mahal mo sa buhay.

ang pagbati ay mula sa iyong tagahanga d2 sa Saudi 🙂

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22 12 2009
Matteo

LOL @ Loren. Tsk, tsk…

nice one on the Communist Party. Hahaha! Bakit ayaw umuwi ni Joma Sison?

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22 12 2009
Tweets that mention CHRISTMAS AND POLITICS « The Professional Heckler -- Topsy.com

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Xianne Arcangel, Pulitika. Pulitika said: CHRISTMAS AND POLITICS http://bit.ly/7UZqLT […]

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22 12 2009
siobhan

so christmas and politics do create a good mix after all hehehe, in a strange and funny kind of way. at si PH lang ang makakagawa nyan. you’re downright witty and hilarious, sir! merry christmas! 🙂

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22 12 2009
imbestigador

5 Mllion Sheeps?

Malamang sa labas na Nakatira sina Bro.Eddie 😆

OT : SI Luchi Cruz-Valdez na pala ang Head ng News ng TV5.

Wala na siya sa ABS.

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22 12 2009
ironman

anloser ni mikey! haha

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22 12 2009
Anonymous

how about in Marcos House? the Nativity scene has Imelda as the Virgin Mary and Macoy as the candle.

Bonget insists on playing a shepherd but could not be located just like his long list of absences in the house. and now he wants to be a shepherd?

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22 12 2009
sonny pulgar

how about in Marcos House? the Nativity scene has Imelda as the Virgin Mary and Macoy as the candle.

Bonget insists on playing a shepherd but could not be located just like his long list of absences in the house. and now he wants to be a shepherd?

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22 12 2009
Dinah

Grabe, this is one of the best heckles yet. Natignan tuloy ako ng masama ng boss ko kasi bigla akong napahalakhak kay Loren!

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22 12 2009
senior60

atebeybs, mabuti na lang na si tomador na lang ang kumakantyaw
sa akin at wala na si topdog, nasaan na kaya yon, nakakamiss din…

ikaw naman mister heckler, ang daya mo, kasi ang usual mong
ginagawa, pag may bago kang topic goes with it the survey result,
pero ngayon na leading si gilbert, you withheld it, nagpahalata ka
talaga na maka noynoy ka, sige ka, baka matulad ka ni tomador na
hindi napasama sa mga intelihente hahaha joke only, anyway hindi
ako ang maysabi nyan ha, si atebeybs…

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23 12 2009
topdog

Hi Senior60, I am alive! Miss na rin kita! Mukhang kawawa na si Mar Roxas. Latest SWS eh dikit na sila ni Loren. Si Korina, from First Lady, naging Second Lady, baka mangyari eh Poor Lady! tsk tsk

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23 12 2009
marsheemarsh

okay ang sweet nilang dalawa.LOL.

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23 12 2009
marsheemarsh

my new favorite post! hahaha. you never fail to amaze me. hahha even including methuselah i mean what the hell ??? hahahaha.

CRUSH NA KITA!!!

waahahahahahha

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24 12 2009
The Lady in Green Ruffles

Happy Holidays Heckler!

Makiki Christmas ako senyo ha!

hehe..

cant wait to see your new post…

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30 12 2009
cris

ahm let us support bro. Eddie he is the only candidates for 2010 election that so very sincere 4 the changes of our nation… let us try also him support him,, be wise in choosing ur candid8s

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