CHRISTMAS AND POLITICS


APOLOGIES for the delayed post. It’s the Holiday Season people. Everyone is preoccupied with something: doing some last minute shopping, attending Christmas parties, reuniting with old friends, etc.

These days, people in the metro have the same schedule: 5 hours in the office or malls, 4 hours in traffic.

The Senate is holding a lavish Christmas celebration. Everyone is expected to attend… except for Chiz Escudero. The guy hates parties.

Guess who’ll be the busiest senator this Christmas! Who else but Loren Legarda. She’ll be hopping from party to party.

The Senate plans to recreate the Nativity Scene. Noynoy Aquino has been tapped to play the role of the Virgin.

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ap-3NmqtWVvvXM:http://zedomax.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/manger3.jpg Sen. Manny Villar won’t play any part in the Nativity Scene but he volunteered to donate the house, the lot, and the manger.

For some reason, Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile has rejected suggestions to let Senators Jamby Madrigal, Bong Revilla, and Lito Lapid to play the role of the three wise men.

Sen. Mar Roxas has repeatedly expressed interest to play the role of Joseph. But getting no support from his colleagues, he withdrew.

Eighty-two year old senator Joker Arroyo refused to take part in the activity. But that was understandable since Methuselah was never a part of the Nativity Scene.

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:I83Uad-jppqPnM:http://tn3-1.deviantart.com/fs12/300W/i/2006/310/b/b/The_3_wisemen_by_ephexiousone.jpg Not to be outdone, Malacañang is also recreating its own Nativity Scene. Virgilio Garcillano, Hermogenes Esperon, and Ronaldo Puno will portray the three kings. However, they are not expected to bring incense, gold, or myrrh. Instead, they will deliver… votes.

When Andal Ampatuan Jr. heard Malacañang’s plan, he sent a note to President Arroyo and volunteered his talent. He wanted to play the role of Herod so he could slaughter innocents.

The characters in the palace’s Nativity Scene were already complete when Mikey Arroyo angrily protested his exclusion. To pacify the presidential son, Malacañang people offered him a special but undemanding role. He’ll be the shit of a camel.

At the Lower House, congressmen couldn’t complete their own Nativity Scene. Nobody dared to play Jesus but everyone was qualified to play the role of an ass.

In Times Street, Sen. Noynoy Aquino has recreated his own Nativity Scene. His three wise men look dazed though because they’re following not just one but several stars.

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:trsjBYaEZrJ0iM:http://andrewerrington.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/three-wise-men.jpg Just as confused are the Three Kings in Sen. Richard Gordon’s Bagumbayan Party’s Nativity Scene. The kings are having a hard time following the star because of several street signs that say: “Walang tawiran, nakamamatay.”

Back to Times Street, Noynoy Aquino had a difficult time finishing his Nativity Scene because Kris Aquino insisted on playing the role of the star.

In Polk Street, chaos marred the recreation of the Estradas’ Nativity Scene. Erap played the role of Joseph but everday, a different woman plays the role of Mary.

The Nativity Scene in Gilbert Teodoro‘s house was reportedly one of the most intricate, beautiful, and well-crafted recreations. Unfortunately, only 2 percent of his friends have seen it.

You can find all kinds of Christmas decors at the residence of environmentalist Nicanor Perlas except for the Nativity Scene. According to the Comelec, he doesn’t have the capability and the resources to create one.

The Villars’ Laurel mansion in Shaw Blvd. boasts of the most expensive decors. There are two six-foot Christmas trees, two giant Santa Clauses, and two life-size Nativity Scenes. A recent survey showed that Villar has narrowed the gap between him and Noynoy so expect a double celebration this Christmas!

Bro. Eddie Villanueva’s own Nativity Scene tops them all. Surrounding the infant Jesus are 5 million sheep!

Finally, the Communist Party of the Philippines produced perhaps the oddest of all Nativity Scene re-creations. Their wise men are in Congress, the shepherds are in the Sierra Madre mountains, and their God is in the Netherlands!

In other news…
Manny Pacquiao, endorser of top brands like Nike, Rexona, and SMB now endorses presidential candidate Manny Villar. Mr. Sipag at Tiyaga is Pacquiao’s only endorsement that is currently No. 2 in the market.

Photo of the Weak
Ito po ay isang malinaw na patunay na may kakayahang ngumiti ang isang aso.


_____________________
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
~Anonymous

This Just In! The Commission on Elections, particularly 2nd Division members Nicodemo Ferrer, Elias Yusoph and Lucenito Tagle have junked the proposal of 1st Division commissioners to put colorful Christmas decors in their office. Yusoph, Tagle, and Ferrer described the proposal as “so gay.”

Have a productive week ahead!

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

69 thoughts on “CHRISTMAS AND POLITICS”

  1. ‘Bro. Eddie Villanueva’s own Nativity Scene tops them all. Surrounding the infant Jesus are 5 million sheep!’

    siguro confused si Bro Eddie kasi akala niya siya ang tinutukoy na ‘Bro’ sa Nativity Scene ng ABS-CBN

    ‘Sen. Mar Roxas has repeatedly expressed interest to play the role of Joseph. But getting no support from his colleagues, he withdrew.’

    … kasi naisip nila kung magiging Mary si Korina, mukhang imposible maipanganak ang isang bata. hindi na daw virgin birth

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    1. Good one! The one about Bro.Eddie’s 5million sheep was probably the best! Close second would be the one about the NPA. The one about GIBO’s 2% is also hilarious.

      Mr.H you always crack us up! Keep it up! Happy holidays to you and to all who follow your blog.

      BTW Mr.H are you not posting a blog about the cooking abilities of the Presidential Candidates as shown on Kapuso Jessica Soho’s programme?

      Here’s the segment where GIBO is preparing Chicken Fricassee

      Like

  2. I read an article in PEP regarding the presidentiables as guest sa Kapuso Mo Jessica Soho……..di ko napanood ung shows pero it seems pinapakita ng MGA presidential hopefuls natin ung galing nila s pagluluto.

    And one thing noticeable………Si noynoy lang may adviser…hehehehehe……..hanggang cooking ba kelangan pa rin si Pink Sister

    Like

  3. among the last acts of diosdado macapagal before he stepped down as president were pardoning ex-defense sec sotelo and the murderer of moises padilla because they delivered votes in their respective balwatres for DM in the ’61 and ’65 presidential elections. baka kc madaliin ang paglilitis kay junior ampatuan para ma pardon ni gma b4 her term expires.

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      1. eyyyy? 🙂

        what’s wrong with having maids in a country whose prime export are domestics or maids? kasi, kung hindi totoo ito, ba’t naging malaking issue noon ang pag-include ng “filipina” sa Brit dictionary na ang ibig sabihin ay maid?

        wish ko lang sa mananalong presidente, sana’y tigilan na ang pag-deploy ng maids sa ibang bansa.

        wish ko sa sarili ko, nawa’y ma-perfect ko ang paggawa ng meatballs para sa spag ko. 🙂

        Merry Christmas everybody!

        Like

      2. I agree with you Chiwe….alam mo asar na asar ako kapag may ini interview sa tv na mga asawa ng babaeng OFWs na nagkaproblema abroad……..bakit di sila ang gumawa ng paraan para buhayin pamilya nya………..tas may mga lines pa sila na “paano na kami, siya lang inaasahan namin”…..pusang gala naman oo.

        Stop sending female DH abroad….let their husband or father (in case single) go abroad and earn a living…….dami kelangan na mga skilled people…..bat di sila mag araltraining nun……..ung lasengo nga sa amin nung magka asawa napahiya yata sa mga bienan bigla nag aral ng pipe fitting….ayun pipe fitter na sa Qatar.

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      3. @atebeybs:tama ka jan. malaking sacrifice ang ginagawa ng mga OFWs, minsan tinitipid pagkain para lang may ipadala. tapos ginagamit lang ng kanilang asawa na pambili ng bisyo o pangsuporta sa kanilang mga kabit.. sana maisip din nila na hindi namumulot ng pera ang mga OFWs.

        Like

      4. @atebeybs

        my wife, despite her being a university graduate and a licensed elem. sch. teacher never got a chance to teach in govt. schools …minsan nang nag-volunteer sa govt. school para lng mabigyan ng priority kng may bakante pero tumigil at naghanap ng ibang mpagkakakitaan. pag sa private nman magturo, sa kakarampot na sweldo hindi pa rin mapagkasya ..kc nga pag nagtratrabaho na sya kailang na rin kumuha ng katulong para sa mga gawaing bahay. kaya out of desperation nag-apply as “MAID” sa ibang bansa!

        her sad flight doesn’t mean na hindi ako gumagawa ng paraan. i’ve been working as an accountant for 14 years in manila. pero, w/ two kids attending school at sa mahal ng renta sa bahay, my earnings could barely make both ends meet.. ika nga. swerte na lng at ako’y nakakita din ng trabaho d2 sa Africa kaya napatigil ko si misis sa pagiging “maid”, but that was after two yrs na pagpa-alila nya.

        just mention this because of your perception that husbands of OFWs ay hindi gumagawa ng paraan. nope! kng meron man only very few of them… sadya lng walng gaanong opportunity sa atin at nagkataon lng that only their wives have the opportunity as domestic helpers abroad. tingnan nyo na lng; dming college graduate sa atin ended up as security guards and even manual workers. most of us gumagawa naman talaga ng paraan….we grab every opportunity that comes our way kahit hindi na angkop sa training natin makaraos lng.

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  4. Ang nativity ng NPA ang galing haha. Teka, diba walang diyos ang mga kumunista?

    Kris Aquino kahit kailangan gusto maging center of attraction haha. Ang haba sobra nung add nila naubusan ng pondo si Noynoy.

    Si Villar ang daming pera may bago nanamang add kay micheal v. at yung isa ginamit pa mga bata! Dyos ko.

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  5. eto panalo!

    “The Nativity Scene in Gilbert Teodoro’s house was reportedly one of the most intricate, beautiful, and well-crafted recreations. Unfortunately, only 2 percent of his friends have seen it.” 😀

    Medyo nagbago na ang count PH, ayun sa latest survery 5% na daw si Gibo so may dagdag 3 % naka kita na ng nativity scene nya hheheeheehe

    Like

      1. atebeybs eto from manoling morato: To say that only Marcos had his cronies is an understatement, for I have never seen more blood-thirsty leeches than in Cory’s term. Many of those who were downright poor and hungry for power and money feasted and took advantage of EDSA I.
        Looking back, many of them became tycoons and taipans in no time and we see them around with their ill-gotten fortunes, thanks to EDSA I. That was precisely the reason I did not want to join them for I could see so many of them ready to devour the entire country to make up for what Marcos had deprived them of.

        Like

      2. atebeybs eto from manoling morato : To say that only Marcos had his cronies is an understatement, for I have never seen more blood-thirsty leeches than in Cory’s term. Many of those who were downright poor and hungry for power and money feasted and took advantage of EDSA I.

        Looking back, many of them became tycoons and taipans in no time and we see them around with their ill-gotten fortunes, thanks to EDSA I. That was precisely the reason I did not want to join them for I could see so many of them ready to devour the entire country to make up for what Marcos had deprived them of.

        Like

      3. Yes Mike…..yan din point ko sa isang post ko dati……..the yellow boys looted Malacaniang of all the treasures…..pinaghati hatian nila…………these yellow boys are the same persons na nakapaligid ngayon kay noynoy……..ready to devour us again.

        TAMA NA!……….SOBRA NA!………MAAWA NAMAN KAYO SA AMIN!

        Like

      4. Yes Mike…..yan din point ko sa isang post ko dati……..the yellow boys looted Malacaniang of all the treasures…..pinaghati hatian nila…………these yellow boys are the same persons na nakapaligid ngayon kay noynoy……..ready to devour us again.

        TAMA NA!……….SOBRA NA!………MAAWA NAMAN KAYO SA AMIN!

        THE AQUINOS HAVE THEIR TIME ALREADY……..WALA NAMAN NANGYARI……..YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE?………THEN BOTH FOR NOYNOY.

        Like

  6. atebeybs, mabuti na lang na si tomador na lang ang kumakantyaw
    sa akin at wala na si topdog, nasaan na kaya yon, nakakamiss din…

    ikaw naman mister heckler, ang daya mo, kasi ang usual mong
    ginagawa, pag may bago kang topic goes with it the survey result,
    pero ngayon na leading si gilbert, you withheld it, nagpahalata ka
    talaga na maka noynoy ka, sige ka, baka matulad ka ni tomador na
    hindi napasama sa mga intelihente hahaha joke only, anyway hindi
    ako ang maysabi nyan ha, si atebeybs…

    Like

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