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TWIT TWEETS

9 12 2009


DECEMBER 9, 2009: The joint session of Congress has begun. While we await the decision of our lawmakers on Proclamation 1959, let’s read some “tweets” allegedly posted online by some prominent figures.


President Arroyo: “Watching the joint session of Congress on ANC. I’m confident that my allies won’t fail me.”
less than 5 seconds ago from twitterfeed

Agnes Devanadera: “Being grilled now by Cong. Dilangalen on the imposition of ML in Maguindanao. Grabe, ang hirap palang mag-Twitter nang palihim.”
less than 30 seconds ago from twitterfeed

Defense Sec. Bert Gonzales: “Still in Singapore. Not sure if I could attend the joint session tom.”
4 minutes ago from web

Exec. Sec Ed Ermita: “@BertGonzales ‘Langya ka! Nang-iwan ka na naman! Ba’t ka ba nasa Singapore?”
3 minutes ago from web

Andal Ampatuan Jr.: “Can’t sleep. I miss my wives.”
6 minute ago from twitterfeed

Sen. Lito Lapid: “Nasa joined secession ng Kongreso. Nakakaantok. Limang na oras na ‘kong walang naiintindihan.”
about 1 hour ago from twitterfeed

Sen. Bong Revilla: “@LitoLapid Akala mo ikaw lang? Ako rin kaya! Tara, sibat na tayo! Mauna ka na para ‘di halata.”
30 minutes from web

Andal Ampatuan Sr.: “@AndalJr. Gawan mo ng paraang maibalik sa kapitolyo ang backhoe. Hindi pa liquidated ang perang ibinili nun. Baka hanapin ng COA.”
38 minutes from twitterfeed

Imelda Marcos: “Critics of the martial law in Maguindanao should just shut up. Martial rule will make the province and its people beautiful.”
43 minutes ago from Ping.fm

ARMM Gov. Zaldy Ampatuan: “Malapit nang maubos ang pasensya ko. Kapag ako ang napikon, bahala na, magkakalabasan talaga ng baho.”
about 2 hours ago from web

Korina Sanchez: “Hates the thought of having dinner alone again(!) because of this freakin’ joint session. Grrrr!”
about 4 hours ago from Hootsuite

Manny Villar: “The Nacionalista Party has two slots available. If you’re interested, email Gilbert Remulla na lang.”
11:30AM Dec 08th from web

Lorelei Fajardo: “This joint session of Congress is indeed historical.”
about 5 hours ago from Ping.fm

Miriam Defensor-Santiago: “@LoreleiFajardo, Dear, it’s ‘historic’ not ‘historical!’ Well, what can you expect from someone who has never set foot on Cambridge, Harvard, nor Oxford?”
about 3 hours ago from web

Comelec_Online: “Comelec’s 2nd Division orders Afghan President Hamid Karzai to step down. Opponent Abdullah Abdullah wins recount.”
30 seconds ago from twitterfeed

Hayden Kho Jr.: “Ano bang meron sa Congress? Bakit ‘di napag-usapang masyado ang suicide attempt ko?”
about 15 hours ago

Satur Ocampo: “NP cuts ties with KBL. Uy Liza, chance na natin ‘to!”
8:23PM Dec 08th from Uber Twitter

Gilbert Teodoro: “Watching the replay of the ANC Presidential Forum. Just noticed, Noynoy was reading from a prepared opening statement.”
10:02PM Dec 9th from web

Liza Maza: “@SaturOcampo Are you sure? Kasi, Bongbong is still a guest candidate daw.”
10:02 PM Dec 08th from Uber Twitter

Conrado De Quiros: “@GilbertTeodoro So what if Noynoy was reading from a prepared opening statement? Lest you forget, the forum was a battle between good and evil. And you are evil.”
12:56 AM Dec 9th from web

Noynoy Aquino: “@GilbertTeodoro @ConradDeQuiros Labas ako sa away na ‘yan huh!”
1:02 PM Dec 09th from Uber Twitter

Erap Para sa Mahirap: “Thanks sa greets. 50 yrs na kami ni doktora at kakatapos lang ng honeymoon namin. Pero atin-atin lang mga ‘tol, iba pa rin talaga si Laarni.”
11:28 AM Dec 7th from web

Conrado De Quiros: “Latest SWS survey is out. Noynoy, 47%, Villar, 20%, and Teodoro, 3%. Wohoo!”
02:10 AM Dec 9th from web

Mikey Arroyo: “Watching my all-time favorite TV show. Mr. Bean rocks!”
4:45 PM Dec 5th from Uber Twitter

Manny Pacquiao: “New hir. You know. Tisting lang.”
7:46 PM Dec 6th from the web
_________
“It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it.”
~ Joseph Joubert

Follow me on Twitter.

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72 responses

9 12 2009
cdotraffic

LOL!

Tisting lang din tong sa akin. Im new hir too. You know.

Like

10 12 2009
Arabella Feeney

Hi heckler, I am an avid follower.
Just want to comment, Miriam being an English goddess:

Miriam Defensor-Santiago: “@LoreleiFajardo, Dear, it’s ‘historic’ not ‘historical!’ Well, what can you expect from someone who has not set foot on Cambridge, Harvard, or Oxford?”
about 3 hours ago from web>> it should be:

…from someone who has not set foot on Cambridge, Harvard, NOR Oxford?”

the antecedent is negative (has not ) so it follows on the option.

There, making it more, Miriam-like. 🙂

More power. Such creative blog. I would believe in you more THAN I WOULD believe any other politician. FYI: I am not a registered voter.

More power, Heckler!

Like

10 12 2009
professionalheckler

hey arabella! thanks for that. but the phrase attributed to miriam was in fact a direct quote from a source who did an online transcription of that snooty miriam quote. 🙂 but there, i made the correction na. again, thank u so much.

Like

11 12 2009
SYDMAN

new hir din!

you know richard gordon’s prez campaign will be a disaster when he wasn’t part of the tweeters.

but then again, jamby wasn’t part of the tweeters too.

haha!

Like

11 12 2009
professionalheckler

it was past midnight when i wrote that post. sobrang minadali ko lang kaya maraming na-miss na characters. next time na lang!

Like

9 12 2009
thepiaya

Sen. Lito Lapid: “Nasa joined secession ng Kongreso. Nakakaantok. Limang na oras na ‘kong walang naiintindihan.”

waaaaaaaaaaaaaah! salit sa tiyan!

Like

9 12 2009
oeh

PH, you got me with Erap’s tweet! Haha. 😀

Like

9 12 2009
Dionesia

aku rin…tisting lang..bagu bagu lng ditu..hihi!

Like

9 12 2009
hotmama69

@professionalheckler, tist lang din itu huh, sobok lang, gamit ko ang bago kong makbook, begay ni manny…Nanay Dionisia here.

Like

9 12 2009
senior60

sigurado yang kay andal ampatuan jr., mahina na

siguro ang apat…

hindi naman 100% na nabasa ko ang lahat ng articles

sa column ni de quiros pero, parang wala pa akong

nabasa against ni gilbert….

Like

12 12 2009
BAROK

Really nothing wrong with Gilbert except that he is associated with GMA and Lakas-Kampi. If he decides to go independent, a lot of people including me will probably change their mind and go for him.

Like

9 12 2009
shelly

funny to the highest level!

pacman’s tweet made me laugh hard. pinagtitinginan ako ng mga officemates ko 🙂

Like

10 12 2009
atebeybs

di ka raw kasi nagta trabaho….nheehehee…..joke lang…..kasi ako nasa opis din…..nde nagta trabaho…..sagabal kasi yang trabaho sa pag i internet eh.

Like

9 12 2009
kaylai3000

Hahahahahahaha! i miss lito lapid, buti na lang binalik mo! tagal nang nwala ‘tong taong ito sa posts mo!

Like

9 12 2009
kaylai3000

hahahaha, satur and liza!

Like

9 12 2009
pakyuberimax

the joint session of congress is just another playground for grandstanding of our dearly pathetic lawmakers…time and again perfect activity for wasting taxpayer’s money…you bet your ass last night they did not resolve anything (as some individuals are unavailable)…what is needed in maguindanao is competent law enforcement and not martial law…come on people let’s do this one right for once.

Like

10 12 2009
Myacerbictongue

Kewl! So witty

Like

10 12 2009
siobhan

laugh-out-loud funny! 🙂 sayang wala ko twitter i’ll follow PH sana. 🙂

Like

10 12 2009
rian

grabeh!! now, nde ko na alam kung anu favorite kong post mo. wahahahahahaha. i love the lorelie-miriam tweets. ahahahahaha

Like

10 12 2009
James

New format to look forward to.cool!

Like

10 12 2009
michelle

tisting lang din. im new hir too! great post ph. 😉

Like

10 12 2009
jashe

taray ni Miriam. go Miriam go!
lol on erap’s tweet

Like

10 12 2009
blitz

Manny pacquiao and erap are the funniest mainly cuz they’re the dumbest of the bunch lol

Like

10 12 2009
phreddox

hmmm they may be dumb but they sure do have lots of money (and women) 😀

Like

11 12 2009
Belisema

you nailed it!

sabi nga ni melanie marquez sa nanglait sa kanyang ingles:

ako ndi magaling sa inglesan pero may miss intl crown. kayong magaling sa ingles, meron?

Like

10 12 2009
Gin

The best yung kay Lito Lapid and Bong Revilla hahah

Like

10 12 2009
watdapak

Thanks sa greets. 50 yrs na kami ni doktora at kakatapos lang ng honeymoon namin. Pero atin-atin lang mga ‘tol, iba pa rin talaga si Laarni.–hahaha

Like

10 12 2009
kenneth_cole

Mar Roxas asked intelligent questions during the joint session. sayang hindi sya nasama sa twit tweets. si koring lang. hehe. more power to the professional heckler.

Like

10 12 2009
bukopie28

yeah! Mar and Loren tweets. panalo! hahaha!

Like

10 12 2009
hikatalomato

gusto ko iyong pagkakasulat kay bong revilla. the manner how bong’s speaks (pasigaw-sigaw sa kap’s amazing video), talagang kuhanh-kuha ni ph.

e ano naman kung mali-mali ang grammar ni ms. lorelei fajardo. the most important is, mas masarap namang pakinggan ang ungol nya compare to miriam!

Like

10 12 2009
CyanFox

I am so laughing my ass here

Like

10 12 2009
mavakes

yay! Thanks PH at unti unti mo na namang binubuhay si LL.

Like

10 12 2009
jay from SG

Intelligent and Hilarious post!!! Im very impressed to you Mr. Heckler… Your brain knocks me down. Saan ka ba pinaglihi?

Like

10 12 2009
paul

de Quiroz has become a joke. It is so well deserved.

Like

10 12 2009
senior60

hey mister heckler, the phrase attributed to miriam pala

‘was in fact a direct quote from a source who did an online

transcription of that snooty miriam quote’ bakit hindi mo

sinabi beforehand, tingnan mo, na correctionan ka tuloy…

Like

10 12 2009
professionalheckler

no problem.

Like

10 12 2009
professionalheckler

no problem. not a huge deal. lahat naman nagkakamali. si noynoy ba nagkakamali?

Like

10 12 2009
badong

bakit naman si noynoy PH? syempre agree ang senior60 diyan… 🙂

Like

10 12 2009
Smile

LOL

Like

10 12 2009
siyetehan

ang masakit kay noy, binabasa na, nagkakabulul-bulol pa!

Like

12 12 2009
atebeybs

pinagalitan nga ni Enrile…absent sa session…..

Like

12 12 2009
atebeybs

Pinagalitan nga ni Enrile…absent sa budget hearing…..

Like

10 12 2009
Smile

LOL.

Like

10 12 2009
Tito Boy

Haha LUFET!

Si Lapid at Bong sumibat!

Kapag nanalo si Noynoy at nagkulang siya sa gawa, patay tong si De Quiros. Masyado kasing halata…haha

Boy Locsin: “@Digs P#@%$ mo!”
about 15 hours ago

Digs: @Boy Locsin “Shut up!”

More tweets please!

Like

10 12 2009
T.Tinio

@heckler8 I actually follow your tweets. Let’s me know kung meron ka nang bagong post, hehehe.

Like

10 12 2009
psychotic101

i love it! hahahaha…natuwa talaga ako sa manny tweet…grabeee!!! haha

Like

10 12 2009
eufems

Miriam Defensor-Santiago: “@LoreleiFajardo, Dear, it’s ‘historic’ not ‘historical!’ Well, what can you expect from someone who has never set foot on Cambridge, Harvard, nor Oxford?”
about 3 hours ago from web

Miriam probably uses twitlonger (ba tawag dun?). Lampas 140 ang characters e… Yung app na un bagay sa mga masalitang tulad niya…

Hmmm, abangan ko kung magkakatotoo yung sinabi ni Miriam…

Like

14 12 2009
Matteo

hahahaha! benta! hahaha!

Like

10 12 2009
itskaye

LMAO. I really think @ErapParaSaMahirap would actually say that. What a douche. Ang tatag na mukha. Ibang level.

Like

10 12 2009
mich

This post is priceless. Next time put Kris Aquino for a punchline.

Like

11 12 2009
Worried Pinoy

Andal Ampatuan Jr.: “Can’t sleep. I miss my wives.”

Gloria: ” I can sleep with you… if you want lang noh.. Im good with hugging power and kissing money noh”

wahahaha….

Like

11 12 2009
Smile

agree with “mich”.
we want kris! we want kris!
and toss in boy abunda for good measure. 😀

Like

11 12 2009
juanaganda

..LOL re: Erap’s and Pacman’s tweets….more! More! More! Ppllleeeeasseee??

Like

11 12 2009
Sidney

Hahaha…you are the best !

Like

11 12 2009
CREI

HELLO HEckler! magaling , isa kang Henyo! hehehe. wud like to ask if u have FB acnt. ty

Like

11 12 2009
professionalheckler

yup i do have one. 🙂

Like

11 12 2009
marsheemarsh

waaaahahah!
this probably is my favorite post of yours mister heckler!! i love the twitter format galeng!!

hindi nako magsisingle-out ng nagustuhan ko kasi baka irepost ko lang yung buong entry mo!
haha galing mo talaga APIR!

Like

11 12 2009
phreddox

PH -OT: ano nangyari sa thread na “Brother Eddie”? heheh

Like

11 12 2009
chiwee

palagay ko, nahusgasan, a la sodom and gomorrah.

🙂

Like

11 12 2009
phreddox

chiwee the thread for Brother E. Vil. is back 😀

Like

12 12 2009
chiwee

Wow! Great!

May alew na naman tayong mga DEMONYO – non-Eddie V. voters. hahahaha.

Like

11 12 2009
reginacasas

Panalo ang tweets nila! Hahahaha

Like

12 12 2009
garju101

Mr.H I thought the Comelec tweet was really hilarious! Love the Manny tweet at the end! Keep it up!

Like

12 12 2009
mark

hahahaha… funny… but I think that tweet is very bias to NOYNOY… let’s avoid that..

Like

12 12 2009
professionalheckler

hmmm, biased para kay noynoy? you didn’t get the irony. 🙂 thanks for dropping by.

Like

22 12 2009
eufems

lahat talaga may bias dito!

Like

12 12 2009
mommy

Loved the tweets PH, especially, Sen Lapid’s, Bong’s, Erap’s and Conrado De Quiros’ tweets.

Eversince Mr De Quiros has been a die hard NOynoy supporte, I’ve stopped reading his column.

Next Tweet edition, do include KRista, Jinkee, Matt, Ate Vi, Jinggoy, Binay and Gordon. (Super dami ng request noh?)

Like

12 12 2009
dojski

PH, kaw ba yang nasa Bottomline now? Naks. =)

Like

12 12 2009
Jeko

wow I just saw you on Bottomline. Cool hehe 😀

Like

14 12 2009
Matteo

LOL @ Miriam & Conrad. ayaw paawat. hahaha!!!

Like

14 12 2009
Matteo

wala bang tweets si Jinky Pacquiao? hahaha!

Like

25 12 2009
May

wahaha! lahat natawa ako but I liked the tweets of Lito Lapid, Ampatuan Jr. and Miriam Santiago the most. 🙂

Like

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