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SATISFACTION

8 12 2009

I’M SURE YOU’VE noticed how chilly our mornings have become. The temperature is so low, weathermen say it’s actually lower than President Arroyo’s satisfaction rating.

Joint Session
Senators and congressmen are holding a joint session tomorrow to tackle the martial law imposed in Maguindanao. Representatives of the Guinness World Records will also be present to authenticate RP’s latest bid to establish a new world record for the largest gathering of thieves.

The Ampatuans’ Arms Cache
Recent raids in the Ampatuan residences yielded more than 400 carbine, garand and M-14 rifles, more than 300 kind of magazines and thousands of rounds of ammunition, 11 pistols, 20 long HP firearms, several machine guns, sniper rifles, armored vehicles, camouflage uniforms, and mortars. Senate committee on national defense and security chairman Rodolfo Biazon is seeking an indepth investigation to determine how the Ampatuans got hold of one-half of the AFP’s armory.

Same Sex Marriages
Manila Rep. Bienvenido Abante has sought the criminalization of same-sex marriages in the country saying it’s “highly immoral, scandalous, and detestable.” Abante is seeking re-election in Manila but in case he loses, the Comelec Second Division is willing to take him as its fourth member.

In Entertainment…
Last Friday evening, lawyer Lorna Kapunan, a self-proclaimed feminist and women’s rights advocate-turned-Hayden Kho Jr. apologist and defender dismissed rumors that her client had another suicide attempt. However, witnesses claimed they found the visibly distraught ex-doctor in a pineapple plantation in Silang, Cavite before dawn Friday uttering words like “Huwag n’yo na kong hanapin. Walang nagmamahal sa akin. Nagpaalam na ako sa Diyos.” We all know what happened next: he survived. Due to this development, GMA 7’s “Wish Ko Lang” has invited Hayden to guest on the program. The show will grant his wish to die!

Lawyer Lorna Kapunan said Hayden Kho Jr. was rushed to the hospital not because of another suicide attempt but due to intestinal flu. Attending physicians said he consumed at least 50 leaves of pineapple.

My unimpeachable source said Hayden Kho DID attempt to hurt himself again because Dr. Vicki Belo threatened to break up with him after receiving information that he’s seeing another woman. Worse, that woman was Atty. Lorna Kapunan!

A source said Hayden Kho is back to his old womanizing ways, infuriating his girlfiend, Dr. Vicki Belo. Belo’s reaction surprised a lot of people who always thought that wax figures do not have emotion.

Tiger in Trouble
Golf superstar Tiger Woods is being linked to at least 10 women who have threatened to surface and tell their stories. Some of the women are reportedly armed with incriminating photos. The imminent threat has prompted Woods to declare Martial Law.

Tabloids are linking Tiger Woods to several sexy women. Woods have denied the allegation and insisted that it was just part of the promo for his upcoming film fest entry.

Ten women are being linked now to Tiger Woods. When actress Gina Alajar heard the report, she updated her Facebook status and wrote: “If I were Elin Nordegren-Woods, I would not give up on Tiger. Those 10 girls are not worth it.”

Reports say 10 women have emerged and claimed they had an affair with Tiger Woods. Observers believe eight more will surface to complete the 18 holes.

Playgirl magazine claims it has received a collection of naked Tiger Woods photos. Curious fans are eager to know if Tiger’s birdie is an eagle.

___________
“As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death.”
~George Bernard Shaw

Survey Says
Among these presidential aspirants, who’s likely to withdraw his/her bid before May 2010?
Joseph Estrada :15%
Councilor JC De Los Reyes :18%
Sen. Jamby Madrigal :17%
Nicanor Perlas :4%
No one. Tuloy ang laban! :46%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere
An open letter to Philippine Daily Inquirer columnist Conrado De Quiros

If this columnist is telling the truth, why not just identify the subjects of his blind items?

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33 responses

8 12 2009
badong

PH can you please get Ampatuans round up the biggest gathering of thieves… further instruction not required.

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8 12 2009
Pilosopong Tasyo

The open letter was very nice. Thanks for the link!

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8 12 2009
atebeybs

That open letter says it all about Kuya Noynoy ko…..so there it goes!

The blind item?…ganun talaga panulat ni Vic Agustin on his Cocktales column….blind items…..i believe Cocktales is wirtten that way talaga……pero baka may iba pa syang pinagsusulatan at dun nya pinangalanan.

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8 12 2009
james

brilliant! lol

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8 12 2009
atebeybs

Daig pala ni Tiger si Pacman….si Wapacman 2 lang (known)….si Tiger naka 10 na…hehehehee…lapit na nga 18 holes.

Pero parang mga gurls ni Howard Stern ung mga pagmumukha…hehehehehe……at least si wapacman malinamnam natikman nya…….wohohohoh.

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8 12 2009
atebeybs

Parang Xerex ung kwento ni Mindy ah……naka turn on…..wahahahaahaha.

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8 12 2009
RAVJ

18 holes?

or 18 whores?

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9 12 2009
atebeybs

18 holes……pun intended….kasi nga golf player si Tiger.

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8 12 2009
johnonline

the open letter is dedicated for those narrow minded people. i’m emailing them to my colleagues! i definitely agree with what was written in the open letter!

Gibo for 2010!

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8 12 2009
senior60

am also a fan of conrado de quiros, he writes great,
his style, his usage of outlandish words…

si de quiros naman ay hindi talaga maka noynoy, now
na lang, before, long before the final names of the
presidentiables were known, lahat na lang ng names na
hakahakang tatakbo, doon sya, praise for that person
kaagad sya, in other words, kahit aso basta against arroyo…

i’ve noticed his writings, almost all topics will end up
despising arroyo, that is how much he hates her….

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9 12 2009
notcurious

The author of the article with blind items does not have the balls, literally and figuratively. That’s why.

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9 12 2009
anon

i think whoever wins in the may 2010 elections will not be able to sit as president. another angle going through the grapevine is that the military is just using the maguindanao massacre / amapatuan rebellion case as a test case. they are gauging the public’s reaction to martial law because gagamitin lang nila si arroyo or whomever. the rationale behind this is they plan to stage a coup and rule the country themselves…scary scenario, eh?

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9 12 2009
ovalboy

The weapons and the boxes of bullets have DND markings on them.
Sabi ni Gibo eh during his term as DND secretary eh walang anomalya.
Paano na yan Senior60?? Magbilang na lang tayo ng mga eggs on Gibo’s face.
1…2…3….

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9 12 2009
atebeybs

Please remember Cory Aquino put the Ampatuan in power.

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9 12 2009
BAROK

Cory’s term ended 17 years ago at di sya nakinabang sa mga Ampatuan.

Si GMA 9 years under her administration lumago at naging makapangyarihan ang mga Ampatuan + nakinabang sya sa dagdag bawas noong mga nakaraang eleksyon.

Please also remember that.

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9 12 2009
sykes

huli ka na sa balita

fr. eliseo mercado (who was the parish priest of maganoy and namfrel chair in the province at the time) said in his blog that after edsa 1, datu andal sr, who was a marcos henchman in maganoy, was removed from office by cory aquino. but he won during the election post cory

sisihin ba naman ang walang kasalanan…and worse, blame someone who can’t defend herself…tsk tsk

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10 12 2009
Jose

Wow! You get your facts straight from the Palace mouthpieces! unbelievable! May naniniwala pa pala sa mga yun.

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9 12 2009
sykes

has anyone noticed?

the track record of the magaling at matalino is littered with dead bodies…

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9 12 2009
topdog

“may session mamaya ang senate at house representatives. It will be the largest gathering of thieves.” Talagang champion ka Mr. Heckler!

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9 12 2009
siobhan

de quiros is undeniably one of the best writers we have today, i’m also a fan of his. but i must agree that this whole noynoy shebang has also undeniably taken a turn for the worse. is he really worth all the hype?

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9 12 2009
Ka Bino

Ang Pogi mo Pala..

Kita ko ikaw sa Bottomline..

Matanong ko lang ilang ang top at ilang ang bottom sa bottomliners.. heheheh

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9 12 2009
juanaganda

….ang galing ng Open Letter. Sang-ayon ako 100%!

…LOL ako sa intestinal flu ni Hayden…

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9 12 2009
iamrico

kapunan and solis are making a fool of themselves by publicly denying HK Jr.’s (restaged!?!) suicide despite televised eyewitness interviews to the contrary.are they high on something just like their client?lol

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9 12 2009
The Lady in Green Ruffles

people arent really satisfied with all of these

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9 12 2009
T.Tinio

Watching the joint session live on TV has made me realize why little gets done in Congress – too much verbal jousting and posturing, and empty rhetoric. Malamang matapos na ang martial law in 60 days eh hindi pa yan na re-resolve sa Congress.
It makes me want to weep watching these middle-aged egotistical politicians prancing about using fancy parliamentary procedures but accomplishing nothing but empty talk. This is where our taxes are going- straight inside their pork barrels, with very little to show for it.

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9 12 2009
Anonymous

BUTI PA NGA ANG ARMORED VEHICLE NG MGA AMPATUAN BAGONG RESTORE. WHY WAS NO ONE EVER FOCUSING THEIR STORY ON THE VAULTS OF AMPATUAN?

ANO BA SA TINGIN NILA GAMIT NUN? LALAGYAN NG SAPATOS?

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9 12 2009
Abusputnik

World record din sa largest gathering ng mga crocodiles. Baka ilipat na ang crocodile farm sa Batasan… Regarding sa Armas ng Ampatuan, baka may sarili nang Armed Forces ang Maguindanao. Buti na lang walang nakalagay na GIBO 2010 sa mga armas…..Type kaya makasal ni Danton kay Cong. Abante…. Sa pinyahan naman nagsasayaw si Hayden ng Careless whispers…… Nainggit naman si Tiger kay manny… Nga pala congrats po sa inyo Idol PH, nasight kita sa Bottomliners. Mukhang ikaw lang ang “superstar dun. Yung iba puro nameless.

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9 12 2009
senior60

@ ovalboy

dapat talaga may investigation na mangyayari tungkol dito,

hindi pwedeng wala, mag protesta ako kahit ako lang mag-isa,

and if the finger will point direct to gilbert, sa akin ang ika apat

na itlog…

at sana, kung kakayanin ng congress, may resulta na before election

para makalipat na ako kay erap hahaha

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10 12 2009
ovalboy

If the owner of the pineapple plantation happens to be a woman dapat eh pinakain muna nya si Hayden ng P…nya bago nya dinala sa ospital.

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10 12 2009
jps

Representative Abante is a bigot.

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12 12 2009
vadge

good luck na lang sa pilipinas sa mga boboto kay gibo. kahit iboto nyo si gibo, si gma pa rin presidente niyo. martial law here we come.

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25 12 2009
May

Tiger Woods and his life may be compared to the usual rich and famous– a life full of intrigues, scandals and more scandals.

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26 01 2010
the situation

I feel that same sex marriage is inappropriate and against what God intended, but if it is really what two people want to do then it should be allowed.
Also, Tiger Woods, what is he thinking? His wife is beautiful and he was dumb to even think about cheating on her.

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