PRESIDENT ARROYO has officially filed her certificate of candidacy for a Congressional seat in her home province of Pampanga in next year’s polls. This parody of a Gloria Gaynor hit was inspired by this latest political development.

Note: Before you start singing, please right click this link and open in a new window for musical accompaniment.

“First, I am not afraid
I’m not petrified
Kept thinking I could always live
with immunity by my side
Though I spent so many nights
thinking I did nothing wrong
I am strong
I learned how to carry on

So I’ll go back
to my old place
’Though I walked out to find you all
with that mad look upon your face
I should replace my stupid son
I’d soon be their congresswoman
If I had known it’s quick and easy
I should’ve just run for VP

Go on now go, walk out the door
just disappear now
’cause you’re not welcome anymore
weren’t you the one who tried not to bid your post goodbye
you think you’d Con Ass
you think we’d let you even try

Oh no, not I
I will survive
oh as long as i know how to bribe
I know I will stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my cash to give
and I’ll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to fight
the media, the Left, and all bishops
and I spent oh so many nights
rehearsing how to perfect lies
I will not cry
I will hold my head up high

And you’ll see me
in Congress soon
I will not be that stuck-up person
who refused to hold press cons
I now hope for charter change
In twenty-ten, yeah, hopefully
I’ll be saving all my power
for what else? Prime Ministry!

Go on now go, walk out the door
just disappear now
’cause you’re not welcome anymore
weren’t you the one who freed Bolante and Garci
you think they’re friendly
you redefined impunity

Oh no, not I
I will survive
oh as long as i know how to bribe
I know I will stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my cash to give
and I’ll survive
I will survive hey hey

Thank you Ms Pia Hontiveros-Pagkalinawan for featuring this post on ANC’s Strictly Politics.
“Doesn’t the fight for survival also justify swindle and theft? In self defense, anything goes.” ~Imelda Marcos

Survey Says
Who should be 2009’s “Filipino(s) of the Year?”
Efren Peñaflorida and his “Kariton Klassroom” group :31%
Manny Pacquiao for his 7th world title :5%
Ordinary Filipinos/volunteers during the onslaught of twin typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng :64%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

158 thoughts on “SHE WILL SURVIVE”

  1. mag protesta lang ako sa result ng survey, bakit ganuon?

    naman naman let us give pacquiao what is due him, the hero

    notwithstanding his love escapades and his plans to enter
    politics, the fact is, he attained the feat that no other man
    had ever done in the whole wide world and recognized
    internationally pagkatapos dito sa blog ni mister heckler bale
    wala lang?


    1. It’s a survey,for crying out loud!Let people decide what they want. Your opinion is entirely different from theirs. And for the record, pacquiao’s feat merely uplifted the morale of Filipinos–nothing more. It is more noteworthy that Ordinary people came out of nowhere to save as many lives as they can, some giving up their own during the Twin typhoons that devastated our country. Sa yaman ni Pacquiao, 1million lang dinonate nya nung panahon na yun.


    1. After Ondoy, Pepeng, Maguindaao massacre and GMA in Congress, does anybody still remember a certain Mar-Korina couple? Did they ever even had 15 minutes of fame? Anyway, with GMA as a Speaker of the House and Noynoy or Erap as President will be a to-die-for scene thrilla in Manila.


  2. back off, gloria! hello may maguindanao massacre pa!

    obviously, she’s scared as hell without her immunity from suit. it’s wishful thinking i know, but i’m hoping the 2nd District of Pampanga voters would not let this greedy little criminal get away with this. o kaya sige bigyan nyo ng seat sa Congress, pero make sure de kuryente weheheh


  3. Everything is so obvious. GMA wants to stay in power and people in Pampanga where she’s running are all too stupid or too blinded by money to vote her. She will win. No doubt about that. Ang kulang na lang ay ang magiging presidente na pwede niyang bayaran so she can push with Charter Change. And I think, lahat ng presindentiables ay kaya nyang bayaran aside from Noynoy. Again, Im not a fan of this Abnoy guy. If you’re thinking Villar?? business is business. If Gloria will give trillions of pesos, magbabago ba ang decision mo? Gibo?? Erap??? Most of us including me, assumes that Noynoy doesnt know anything, that he’s stupid. Pero sa panahon na ito, hindi kailangan ng gubyerno ng taong sagad sa galing at talino dahil simpleng sentido comon lang ang kailangan para magdesisyon kung ano ang tama at mali. Just a question, pag inabutan ka ng milyong piso ng kahit sinong official ng government, tatanggapin mo ba? Sa tingin mo, sino sa mga presindentiables ang tatanggap sa sitwasyon na nito?


    1. i beg to disagree…kung may una mang mabibili dyan is ang kuya noynoy ko kasi wala sya sarili desisyon……you cant buy villar kasi mayaman na sya…..he can say no to everybody also kasi wala sya utang sa kanila…remember the time he bang the gavel on erap considering kasamahan nya to.


    2. i beg to disagree………kung may una mang mabibili dyan is ang kuya noynoy ko kasi wala sya sarili desisyon……you cant buy villar kasi mayaman na sya…..he can say no to everybody also kasi wala sya utang sa kanila…remember the time he bangs the gavel on erap impeachment considering kasamahan nya to.



      1. Hell yes! tama ka atebeybs, corrupt nga ako and i know how corrupt people think. Or maybe my eyes are widely too open to see how this system really works. Alam naman ng buong mundo na mayaman na ang Villar mo so why invest billions of pesos to get the highest seat of the nation? What? to get 60 thousand pesos per month? Don’t tell me those crap like dahil gusto nyang tumulong sa bayan dahil lahat ng kandidato yan ang sinasabi including past presidents. Kung yaman ang pinag uusapan, bakit ang mga Zobel de Ayala at Henry Sy eh hindi tumakbo? Iba ang yaman na nakuha sa negosyo at yama na nakuha sa gubyerno. Malaki po ang pinagkaiba ng mabilis na pera kesa sa pinaghirapan na pera. Isn’t Gloria is the best example of this? think about it….


      2. wow! si Villar incorruptible??? That’s the joke of the century LOL

        Tama si Maglulupa, bket ka nga ba gagastos ng ilang bilyon piso para lang pagsilbihan ang bayan?? At non-commital pa sa pag divest ng kanyang mga pag aari kung sakaling manalo bilang presidente. MONEY Villar as they call him is a businessman, he is in it for the R. O. I.

        Wala si Yaman yan Atebeybs, nasa prinsipyo ng tao yan. Sipag at tyaga? Langya kundi dahil kay Cynthia Aguilar Villar hindi naman talaga yayaman si Money ng ganyan. The crap about sipag at tyaga bullshit, sipag sa panliligaw sa mayaman dapat ganyan ang slogan ni MONEY!


      3. Kasalanan ba nung tao na naging mayaman sya o ang asawa least sarili nya pera ginagastos nya…..kaya wala sya pinagkakautangan.

        Yun ibang kandidato, san sila kumukuha ng pera….contributions ng ibat ibang negosyante……….and how do you expect that candidate to repay those contributor kuno……….do u expect also that such contributors will shell their f..cking money for free?……….c’mon……as a matter of fact…..mas madami contributors……mas marami ka dapat pagbigyan pabor kung sakali ma elect such president……that causes chaos kasi para silang mga vultures na mag a agawan sa isang pirasong karne.


      4. the idea that a rich man cannot be corrupted is like saying that Gloria Arroyo will not hunger for more power because she has already reached the peak of her political career here in the country.
        We have to remember, negosyante si Villar. hindi nag iinvest on something na walang returns. ano yun bigla na lang isang umaga sabi nya sa sarili ninya “ayoko na maging mayaman. tatakbo na lang ako presidente para mabawasan ang kayamanan ko. nakakainis kasi, ang dami kong pera sa cabinet.”


    3. @Maglulupa: ang babaw at ang dumi ng pananaw mo sa kapwa at bansa.

      kulang ang kaalaman mo sa taong tinutukoy mo pero ang dami mong sinasabi na likha ng marumi mong pagiisip. gawin mo ang pagsaliksik maging sa ibang taong paguukulan mo ng iyong opinyon.

      malamang produkto ang pagiisip mo ng maruming media na nagkaroon ng access sa PH at nilalabas mo ito dito. okay lang.


    4. You missed my point Kuya Andrei……Villar has only himself to feed unlike other candidates who has so many mouths to feed……….pare pareho lang naman sila gumagastos ng malaki…………the difference is how to repay such debt of gratitude……………..magpapatayan sila para lang maka first base.

      Remember what happend during Cory’s time…..Cory is an honest person…..but due to so many utangs……she doesnt know how to repay them……..dami bulong brigade…………kaya ung iba dinadaan na lang sa kudeta.

      It’s very inappropriate to compare Villar to Gloria………..kaya nga andyan pa si Gloria marami pa sya utang na loob na dapat pagbayaran……..nde pa sya tapos………those same persons na pinagkakautangan nya ang nagtutulak sa kanya na kumapit sa puwesto……kumbaga………..pusang gala, wag ka muna umalis sa puwesto, di mo pa nabibigay sa akin pangako mo……so there it goes.


      1. nope…i’m not a pro villar……actually my choice for president is BF….disiplina ang kailangan……now…..i will go for Gordon-BF Team………but just for the sake of debate……i share my ounce of thought.

        the premise is paano babawiin ng mga kandidato ang kanilang ginastos sa kampanya…………..and everybody is asking it to Villar.

        Please be reminded that other candidates have also spent a lot of money to bankroll their campaign…………nde nga lang galing sa sarili nilang bulsa but galing sa mga contributions………….so the same question will arise, paano babawiin ng mga contributors ang kanilang itinulong…….this scenario is worse than the case of villar kasi mas maraming babawi, mas magulo.

        Kaya nga umalis is Kuya Chiz sa NPC kasi di sya binigyan ni Boss Danding ng 1 billion pesos as campaign fund…………Remember Tita Swannie went to Kuya Chiz and declare her support to him………She then tells Kuya Chiz that Boss Danding gave FPJ 1Billion as campaign fund……..So Kuya Chiz wants the same amount but the Boss rejected it……..The Boss knows that he has other aces in the person of Gibo and Kuya Noynoy……….kaya he dont want to give a 100% support to any candidate.

        Now tell me………in case natuloy kandidatura ni Kuya Chiz, how do you think he will repay the Boss……..How about Kuya Noynoy, how will he repay those vultures around him.


  4. Pikit mata si Gloria sa issue ng maguindanao masaker. Inutusan ang mga alipores nya para pag takpan na wala syang kinalaman at wala syang pakialam sa mga journalist at kapwa natin pinoy na walang habas na pinaslang ng isang demonyo na ka-alyado nya. Tapos ngayon, parang santo na nagpunta sa Pampanga para mag file ng COC upang maging congresswoman. So wala na talaga tayong presidente ngayon. Nagpapanggap lang talaga si pandak na presidente. Mas masahol pa kay erap itong babae na to. grabe. No bad words can describe her. Mas masahol pa sya sa lider ng impyerno. Sana lang mas masahol pa sa kanya ang susunod na presidente. SANA LANG! Nakakatakot ng manirahan sa Pilipinas. Hindi mo alam, bukas papatayin ka na rin. Grabe…


  5. Another brilliant post! tama lang na yung sa chorus eh masa ang sumasagot. Galing PH. Must have spent a lot of time wracking your brain malabas lang to hehehe… Kodus and I really admire you! Nga pala… BWEHSET KA GLORIA, KAPAL MUKS KA TALAGA… SANA MAGING NUNAL NALANG YANG BUO MONG MUKHA..>>


  6. hi!been wanting to write a comment,medyo shy kc ako.but this particular blog di ko na mapigilang di mag are soooo galing everybody else, napakanta rin ako.
    i suggest micheal v for the interpretation, kc i know mabibigyan yan ng right attitude and acting yung song.coz he is also a genius like you.
    suggestion lng naman.
    thanks for making philippine politics interesting,still!!!


  7. i like the song.. this would surpassed the garci taped played years before.. as for gloria, sobrang kapal ng mukha niya.. it only shows the corruptness that runs in her veins.. ” i am not ready to step down from public service” as she was quoted.. it should have been ” i am not ready to to turned down graft and corruption bribes that come my way”.. so much for money and power.. she’s worse than marcos..


  8. teka lang muna, ang survey pala ay

    “Who should be 2009’s ” Filipino(s) of the Year” “,
    akala ko “Hero of the Year”

    but granting na pareho lang sila, huwag tayong
    magpakaplastik, alam ninyo, tayong lahat naman
    at pwedeng magiging hero, hindi lang sa mga
    volunteers noong nakaraang bagyong ondoy at

    however ang connotation talaga ng hero, in the real
    sense of the word, at huwag na kayong mag pilosopo
    tasyo ay yung makagawa ng mga pambihirang bigay
    or gawain na hindi magagawa ng kahit sino lang…

    @ badong

    napansin mo? ako hindi , pero seriously, kung gaano mo
    ka hate si gloria, ako ano, hate ko siya sa kanyang pagka
    corrupt at sa hello garci, other than that, ok naman siya,
    nakaraos naman tayo kahit papaano…

    @ seth

    honestly, hindi ko naintindihan ang ” bayarang hero si pacquiao”
    pwede paki expound


    1. Sorry, ha, pero, sa aking palagay, kaya ang isang tao’y pinaparangalan bilang bayani ay upang gayahin s’ya ng ibang tao. Parang mga santo ng Katoliko. Hindi sila dapat sinasamba, tinitingala lamang, at, tapos, uwian na pagkatapos ng boksing. Dapat ginagaya rin natin ang kanilang nagawa. Kaya, kung kay Pacquiao din lang, mas gugustuhin ko pang tignan ng aking mga anak na bayani si Efren.

      Hindi ko inaalis ang mga nagawa ni Pacquiao. Malaking karangalan ang naiuwi n’ya, ‘di lamang para sa kanyang sarili, nguni’t para sa bansa. Proud din ako sa kanya. Pero, mas proud ako ‘pag lumuluhod s’ya’t nananalangin pagkatapos n’yang manalo. Mas proud ako ‘pag tinutulungan n’yang makatayo ang tumumbang kalaban kesa magtatalon s’ya sa tuwa. Mas proud ako ‘pag, pagkatapos ng boksing, kinakaibigan n’ya ang kanyang katunggali; may respeto s’ya sa mga tao.

      Kaso, nawawala ‘yun dahil ang tinitignan ng tao ay ‘yung galing n’ya sa boksing. Sa tanda kong ito, hindi ko na kayang magpatumba pa ng tao.

      Kahit sa inuman.


    1. di naman, baka tatlo lang same as today

      Iggy Arroyo – malamang manalo itong si Jose Pidal…ay teka si Mike Arroyo pala si Jose Pidal LOL

      Datu Arroyo – depende kung matutupad ang hiling ng kanyang pamilyang madagdagan ng destrito ang camarines. San ka pa ba nakakita ng ganyan diba, pinag-sasaksakan ang sarili sa hindi pwede

      Gloria Arroyo – Malamang mananalo itong hitad na ito sa 2nd district ng Pampanga

      Kaya ang maganda I-JUNK lahat ng incumbent LAKAS-KAMPI Congressman na tatakbo ulit sa 2010 para hindi nila ma control ang kongreso!


  9. i find PGMA’s bid for congress rather acceptable, she has every right to run after all. i don’t think people these days are so irrational that they would vote for her, but then again irrationality seems to be the norm in this godforsaken country. earth eat me.

    i love consuming your political commentaries because of the wit and bitter sarcasm. pretty stoked to meet you and get you to talk in UP diliman.


  10. Hi, Prof, Brilliant ka talaga! Bilib ako sa utak mo. Mahirap ‘ata ‘yung magpatawa lagi. O, kasi, intrinsic namang katawa-tawa ang ating poliitka?

    Neweys, palagay ko hindi lang dahil gustong tumakas ni GMA sa lawsuit kaya s’ya tumakbo. Nakaisip ako ng sampung dahilan, ala-top ten reasons ni David Letterman. Sana’y magustuhan mo rin:

    Salamat sa mga posts mo. Nakakagaang ng loob, kahit mabigat. =)


  11. super sing talga ako….he…he… kakantahin ko ito sa krismas party namin….i can’t help but make a comment….all i could say is that… ang kapal talaga ng mukha ni PGMA…. saang planeta ba galing iyang bubwit na yan… she’s one in a trillion species… extinct na cya… i really can’t describe her in the worst words that i kud give her…. Dyan ako naiinis talaga kasi wala nga me talga worst(est)??? word(s) that wud reli fit sa kanya….%$####@$h#T…. ito na lang message ko kay PGMA…. KAPAL MOHHHHHHH!!!!!… (sabay kurot sa singit na pinong-pino)… ang sarap mong ilagay sa inner core ng SUN…. pero bago… tutuhugin muna kita ng malaking kawayan (hindi ko na tatanggalin ang bulo) wala na pating tilos pipilitin kong ipasok sa malaki mong bibig..tapos bago kita dalhin sa outer space ay ibabaon ko muna cya sa isang drum na puno ng mga pulang langgam na imported pa sa Brazil… pagkatapos magpapaprito ako ng siling labuyo sa Bicol… habang kumukulo pa ay ipapahid ko sa iyong katawan….. ako ng ang naccgurado ko na bago gawin ang lahat ng ito ay dadalhin muna kita sa St. Luke’s Hospital…. para i-activate lahat ng iyong nerves….


  12. Yes it’s a fact Gloria Arroyo sucks big time but we, as a people, also have ourselves to blame for being too ‘regionalistic’. As long as a person is our ‘ka-pamilya’, ‘ka-nayon’;, or ‘ka-probinsiya’, we automatically give our all-out support even if said person has had questionable dealings in government and has exhibited moral bankruptcy. So let’s go slow in condemning the people of Maguindanao for rabidly supporting the Ampatuans, when the Kapampangans themselves are also going ‘gaga’ over their Lady Gaga GMA! But I’m not blaming the Kokaks only, as this is true for every region and province in our country.


  13. I just saw in the news that Sec. Ermita confessed that Charter Change is a reason why Gloria run for congress…

    I strongly believe in this. Wala at ayoko nang mag isip ng ibang dahilan kung bakit naisipan ng magaling na Gloria para maging kotongresista. Sana lang mabasa ng mga kapampangan ito para maisip nila na ginagamit lang sila ni pandak.


  14. PH pwede pa link nito sa FB? Ayos to ah! Btw, meron akong narinig na version ng NOBODY (merong audio)…

    … Alam mong ayaw namin sa ‘yo Gloria
    And it will never change…

    Alis na!

    Gloria nobody, nobody wants you
    Gloria nobody, nobody trusts you
    Termino’y huwag pa habain
    Pahirap ka sa amin
    Cha Cha mo’y bibiguin, bibiguin, bibiguin…

    Bakit ba ayaw mo umalis diyan sa pwesto
    Taong bayan ngayon sayo’y di na paloloko
    Ang Pandaraya’t pagnanakaw mo
    Huling-huli ka na, di na maitatago.

    Sabi mo no’n you will not run
    Ngayon naman congresswoman
    You know it’s not right at
    Baya’y di papayag president o prime minister man

    Gloria nobody, nobody wants you
    Gloria nobody, nobody trusts you
    Termino’y huwag pa habain
    Pahirap ka sa amin
    Cha Cha mo’y bibiguin, bibiguin, bibiguin…


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