OF CANDIDATES AND CARNAGE


LP’s Standard Bearer
Liberal Party’s Noynoy Aquino filed his certificate of candidacy for president Saturday, November 28. Television host Boy Abunda, sister Kris Aquino, Cesar Montano, Gretchen Barreto, Dingdong Dantes, Marian Rivera, Kim Chiu, Enchong Dee, Erich Gonzales, and Coco Martin accompanied Noynoy when he filed his COC. However, they were barred from entering the Comelec office because they were carrying torches.

Noynoy Aquino’s girlfriend Shalani Soledad was also outside the Comelec office when he filed his COC. While she was not carrying a torch, she was also refused entry by the security guards who claimed they merely acted on orders from Kris Aquino.

A huge crowd accompanied Sen. Noynoy Aquino when he filed his certificate of candidacy for president last Saturday, November 28. According to newspapers, 2,000 people came out. According to cops, 1,500. According to the Social Weather Stations, 60 percent.

Mar Files COC
Sen. Mar Roxas has officially filed his certificate of candidacy for vice president. Korina Sanchez is now an official candidate for Second Lady.

Mikey’s Plans
Speaking before some 200 local officials from Pampanga who serenaded President Arroyo at Malacañang Palace, Second District Rep. Mikey Arroyo said he was more than willing to give up his House seat for his mother, President Arroyo. And while on vacation, Mikey plans to study the correct procedure in declaring his statement of assets, liabilities and net worth.


Ano ang nararapat na caption, deskripsyon, o pamagat sa larawang ito?
A) “Kung hindi manguna sa survey ng Pulse Asia, manguna man lang sana sa tindig at porma.”

B) Sa ating lahat na lumaki sa “Batibot,” handa… awit!
“Pagsama-samahin ang pare-pareho
Ang magkakatulad ay ating igrupo
Kay sayang libangan, kay daling gawin
Ang pare-pareho, pagsamahin natin.”

C) “TG Guingona was here.”

D) “The boat is sinking. Group yourselves into… 6!”

E) Buhay na buhay ang tsansa nilang manalo… hanggang sa mamatay si Cory Aquino.

Ampatuan Jr.
Datu Unsay, Maguindanao Mayor Andal Ampatuan Jr. was brought to Manila aboard a chopper last Thursday night. Unknown to many though, it took several hours before Ampatuan Jr. was convinced to ride the helicopter… because he insisted on riding a backhoe instead.

Ampatuan Jr. II
Datu Unsay, Maguindanao Mayor Andal Ampatuan Jr. was separated from other inmates at the NBI jail because he was considered a high-risk prisoner. Since being airlifted to Manila last Thursday, sources say Ampatuan Jr. has been restless, and keeps looking for his wives, his children, and his political party.

Ampatuan Jr’s Foe
When Buluan, Maguindanao Vice Mayor Ismael Mangudadatu saw Andal Ampatuan Jr. during the inquest proceeding at General Santos City last Thursday, Mangudadatu said, “Gusto ko siyang kainin!” But the grieving vice mayor changed his mind when Ampatuan Jr. revealed, “Ipinaglihi ako sa baboy.”

GMA’s Spokesperson
Deputy presidential spokesperson Lorelie Fajardo dismissed the Maguindanao massacre as a mere “incident between two families.” She added, “I don’t think the President’s friendship with the Ampatuans will be severed.” The president is now studying recommendations to sever her ties with Fajardo.

Battle Cry
OBAMA: “Change? Yes, we can!”
AMPATUAN Jr.: “Murder? Yes, I can!”
____________________
“We need a law that will permit a voter to sue a candidate for breach of promise.”
~Anonymous

Stay safe. Have a productive week ahead!

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

81 thoughts on “OF CANDIDATES AND CARNAGE”

    1. hangin yata ang laman ng ulo ni fajardo. maski anong topic, laging walang kabuluhan ang sinasabi. nakapagpapaalab pa lalo ng galit sa sobrang katangahan, gayong pera natin ang pinangpapasweldo sa kanila sa malacanang. wala nang ginawa kundi ang magtanggol sa amo nya. really a disservice to our country. ang mas masakit, bakit ba hindi natin mapaalis na ang mga nasa malacanang? masyado na ba talaga tayo nadala sa people power experience? a day longer in office of these people is really sampal sa atin. do we really deserve them?

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  1. … ok.. ayokong sabihin na mukha talagang autistic si Noynoy dahil politically incorrect at talaga namang insensitive yun sa mga taong may ganong condition… pero bakit dyan sa pic mukha yatang bading na bading and dating?… o baka naman nakahawig na lang ni boy abunda dahil sa makeover ni kris?

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      1. correct ka dyan topdog! Mukha ngang walang alam~ Kung sa prutas, hinog sa pilit! The only reason he is the “Annointed King Noynoy” is because, he is the son of Cory and Ninoy, at namatay nga si Tita C. Ang gintong tandang (nINOY) at gintong inahin (cORY) nangingitlog din ng “bugok” at “abnoy”. Tignan mo si Krys Aquino at Noy. Yung mga kapatid pa nila, mukhang OK sila….

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    1. Erap did also not commit plunder and murder, despite all the proof and damming evidence. It’s so easy in this country for criminals. You just say often enough: ” I haven’t done it ” , that’s it.

      And the public will return to watch “Eat Buluga” and “Wowowee” and wait for the money transfers to Western Union etc, and enjoy shopping. Why bother further.

      Every country has the government and politicians it deserves.

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      1. I got it from an article of Belinda Aquino University of Hawaii Professor published several years ago. She analyzed the campaign of Imelda to be a president after the corpse of Marcos was brought over including the campaign of Peron after Evita’s death and I think Rajiv’s campaign after Indira Gandhi’s death. It shows how a death of a person or a dead can be used as a tool to get political power.

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  2. Hi PH ! Andito ako now sa Maldives and sa site mo lang at sa philstar ako naki2balita sa nangya2ri sa Pinas. Kahit pa marami nagsa2bi na magulo ang Pilipinas nag-iipon lang ako at sa Pinas pa rin ako maninirahan. Uma-asa pa rin ako na me mangya2ri pang pagba2go, wala naman masama umasa di ba?

    Itong latest na karumal dumal na pagpaslang sa napakarami na tao ay di gawain ng isang normal na tao, isang hayop lang maka2gawa nito. Kung sino man me kaga2wan nito di ko maisip kung paano pa sya/sila naka2tulog sa gabi!!!

    Sana naman pagkatapos ng 2010 election eh unti-unti me makita tayong mga pinoy na magandang pagba2go sa bansa natin. at mismong sa sarili natin (there is always room for improvement)… Ipinagda2sal ko pa rin gabi2….

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  3. I think the answer that suits best is Letter E. At siguro may purpose ang nasa Taas kaya ganun ang nangyari, why Cory was taken already into His bossom amongst the angels, at yun nga eh di tayo madale ni Manny. May tiwali din kasi sa katawan tong si Villar eh, oo nga masipag sya at matiyaga, maari din kasing maging ganun sya kasipag at katiyagang mangurap hehehe… Pero we’ll never know, consigned to the loser’s dustbin na to eh…

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  4. Honga naman, kung gusto nyong umasenso tulad ni Manny Villar, kailangan ng sipag at tiyaga at….mag-asawa ng mayaman! hehehe. Malaki ang role ni Cynthia Villar who belongs to the super-rich Aguilar clan of Las Pinas sa pag-angat ni Manny from an employee of SGV to the real estate magnate he is today. The Aguilars already owned several subdivisions and multi-millions that gave Manny a good headstart in the real estate business. So let’s not always believe the hype we read about the candidates kasi exaggerated lahat yan!

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  5. “Speaking before some 200 local officials from Pampanga who serenaded President Arroyo at Malacañang Palace, Second District Rep. Mikey Arroyo said he was more than willing to give up his House seat for his mother, President Arroyo. And while on vacation, Mikey plans to study the correct procedure in declaring his statement of assets, liabilities and net worth”

    Sabi nila, it iwll take an Ilokano to oust a kapwa Ilokano, so Marcos went out courteousy of Ramos, Enrile and Ninoy Aquino. But it looks like Arroyo will be able to cling to power dahil mukhang makakapal ang mga Pampangueno.

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  6. natawa ako sa torches. hehe. yung six na mukhang tumpok ng ponkan, minalas lang talaga at namatay nga si cory. but prior then, almost sureball na din. nothing is really sure in politics. yung sa loyalist ng ampatuans, i remember the marcos loyalists, kahit obvious na ang crimes, blindly loyal pa din sila. which reminds me, gibo had exceptional credentials sa Isang Tanong, Isang Sagot. But then, so did Marcos when he first ran for government.

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  7. I think Villar is better than kuya noynoy ko…..leadership and integrity..ang binabato lang naman kay villar ay ung c5 pero nde naman sya nangurakot dun.

    ganda rin ng line up ni villar sa senate…susan ople, monmon mitra, ariel queruibin, adel tamano, gwen pimentel..puro mga bata pa pero may ibubuga…maiba naman.

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    1. Agree that maganda line-up ni Villar sa Senate.

      The best caption for me is “TG Guingona was here”

      The reason Kim Chiu tagged along with Kris os because they have a teleserye together. Wonder how many of the stars who are endorsing Ninoy ( Gretchen etal) are really registered voters.

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  8. guys and gals too early to tell who is the lesser evil among the devil’s advocates…let me remind all of us that once upon a time we believed that gma was the best evil choice…but look she turned out to be more than what we expected…she became the best there is!

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  9. re: lorelie fajardo, cerge remonde, et al
    i do not see even an iota of sincerity from these people the way they dealt with the ampatuan massacre. it seems that the administration is not really serious in seeking justice for the victims. cerge remonde’s tall tale of bullets razing the helicopter he boarded with ampatuan jr was just too much for me.

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  10. may credibility problem din si Noynoy kasi napapaligiran siya ng mga artista na mahirap paniwalaan pagdating sa seryosong bagay tulad ng pulitika, maliban sa iilan na tunay na marunong at may alam, karamihan sa kanila ay mababaw na klase ng artista at dito ay tila ba masyado namang minamaliit ni Kris ang talino ng botanteng Pinoy….

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  11. haha! this post made my day. natawa ako sa mga pictures. si Noynoy bakit naman ganun? haha! yung paglabas ng ngipin parang PGMA ang dating. si Mikey looks like Bryan Revilla cos of his haircut. parang maton lang na naging congressman. Yung suot nina Villar– pwedeng uniform ng mga model inmates. si Ampatatuan Jr. naman parang half-brother ni Jinggoy. Magpa-pass ako kay vice mayor. At si Fajardo, kung gano ka-peaceful ang mukha ni Mona Lisa ganun naman ka-gulo ang mukha nya. di ba? Di ako sure kung sya ba ay nagagalit, naiiyak, napapa-smile, natatakot, nagpapa-cute o nagtataray.

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  12. dapat ang pagpatay kay amputan ay ganito. Lulunurin siya ng 62x. Pag malapit ng mamatay sa pagkalunod tatangalin na sa tubig at buhayin ulit. 62x gawin ito, araw araw.

    kung medyo, gagastos ang gobyerno, hihiwain ang pulso ni ampatuan at pag malapit ng malagutan ng hininga, salinan ulit. gawin ng 62x para iyong mga taong pinatay nya, nagkaroon ng hustisya.

    Just to all Maguindano massacre.

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  13. Mas magandang parusa sa mga Ampatuan pati na ang mga demonyong alipores nila ay isama sila sa mga Negro at Arabong mga bilanggo at pagsuotin sila ng mga bestida at palda tuwing gabi. Sa araw naman, ipanood sa kanila ang re-runs ng 700 Club, Net 25 at Dating Daan. Dapat din me special treatment kay Ampatuan Jr., pagkatapos sa kanya ng mga baklang preso isilid sya sa kabaong me katabing kalansay at ibaon sa isang sementeryo. Pagkaumaga ulitin ulit ang routine. Hehehe

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