villarlren Villar’s VP?
Without naming names, senatorial aspirant Adel Tamano of the Nacionalista Party says Sen. Manuel Villar Jr.’s running mate possesses the “3M” qualities: “maganda,” “matalino,” and “maka-kalikasan.” Vice presidential aspirant Loren Legarda who felt alluded to, said her presidential running mate also possessed the “3M” qualities: “masipag,” “matiyaga” and “malapit nang magpanic kapag ‘di pa ako nag-yes sa kanyang offer.”

Gibo’s VP
The ruling Lakas-Kampi-CMD Party has reportedly given up efforts to lure Sen. Loren Legarda into teaming up with Defense Sec. Gilbert Teodoro. With this development, the ruling coalition’s choice for vice president is now down to two: “John” and “Jane Doe.”

binay Binay’s Birthday
Birthday boy Jejomar Binay is celebrating his 67th birthday on November 11. Political observers doubt though if he’s really 67 years old… because he’s been mayor of Makati City for like half a century.

Binay’s Birthday II
Last Monday, November 9, Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay and his wife, former Makati City mayor Dr. Elenita Binay hosted a star-studded joint birthday party at the A. Venue Mall in Makati City. Opposition stalwarts and supporters were all present… except for Sen. Chiz Escudero who has made himself clear that he no longer believes in parties.

Binay’s Birthday III
Braving the dangerous traffic and the menacing stare of a Makati traffic enforcer, I personally took a photo of this eye-catching tarpaulin at the corner of Makati Avenue and JP Rizal St. in Makati City around 4pm, Tuesday.
Sampung Katanungang Naglaro sa Aking Isipan Matapos Kong Masilayan ang Tarpaulin ni Jose De Venecia III Para Kay Makati City Mayor Jejomar Cabauatan Binay, Birthday Boy

Una: Bakit kailangang idaan sa tarpaulin ang pagbati?

Pangalawa: Hindi ba niya alam ang cellphone number o landline ni Mayor Binay upang mabati niya ito ng personal?

Pangatlo: Bakit sa panulukan pa ng JP Rizal St. at Makati Avenue inilagay ang tarpaulin gayong pwede naman itong isabit sa harap ng bahay ng mga Binay o kaya ay sa city hall upang mas madaling makita ng may kaarawan?

Pang-apat: Kailangan ba talagang may larawan pa ni Joey De Venecia sa tarpaulin?

Panglima: Hindi pa ba siya kilala ni Mayor Binay kaya’t kinailangan pang i-imprenta ang kanyang mukha?

Pang-anim: Titigan ang larawan at sagutin: Ano ang kahalagahan o kaugnayan ng website ni Joey De Venecia sa kaarawan ni Mayor Binay?

Pampito: Kung nabasa ni Mayor Binay ang naturang pagbati, sa palagay n’yo ba ay magpapagawa din ito ng tarpaulin upang iparating ang mensaheng ito: “Maraming salamat sa iyong pagbati Joey De Venecia III! From Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay” Kung oo, saang panulukan naman kaya niya isasabit ang tarpaulin?

Pangwalo: Bakit parang galit na galit ako sa naturang tarpaulin? Ikaw, anong nararamdaman mo?

Pangsiyam: Bakit kailangan ko pang magtanong gayong alam ko na naman ang sagot?

At pansampu: Ilang daang “Joey De Venecia III” pa kaya sa iba’t ibang panig ng bansa ang magsasabit ng tarpaulin sa mga lansangan, panulukan, gusali, at poste ng kuryente bago dumating ang halalan?

miriam_puno Santiago vs. Puno
Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago asked the Senate to file plunder charges against former DPWH Road Board Executive Director Rodolfo ‘Dodie’ Puno for the alleged misuse of some P60.5 billion in road users’ tax. Criticizing Puno’s lavish lifestyle, Santiago also threatened to reveal the names of his mistresses and girlfriends… to which Tonyboy Cojuangco said, “That is not a good idea.”

oil_freeze Petroleum Shortage?
Echoing the oil firms’ opposition to the government-imposed fuel price freeze in Luzon, the honorable Angelo Reyes says the country’s inventory of imported petroleum products is just enough for 13 days. But that’s still good news considering the fact that the government has no energy secretary for more than two years now.

alvin flores gang Alvin Flores Gang
Remember last week’s raid on the suspected hideout of the notorious Alvin Flores Gang in Bulacan? The raid yielded high-powered guns and ammunitions, grenade launchers, two-way radios, and Alvin Flores’ two used faces.

Alvin Flores Gang II
The doctor who performed cosmetic surgery on Alvin Flores revealed that the notorious gang leader was gay and wanted to look like BB Gandanghari. The surgeon also confirmed a gang member’s revelation that the Rolex heist in Greenbelt was a mistake. Flores’ original target was L’Oréal.
“Leadership has been defined as the ability to hide your panic from others.”

Just Asking
Philippine Daily Inquirer’s Conrado De Quiros originated it.
Other columnists concurred.
The Liberal Party adopted it.
“The 2010 election is a fight between good and evil,” i.e. Noynoy and the Liberals, the good side; GMA and her allies, the evil side.
Over the weekend, several allies of GMA defected to the Liberal Party, and more are expected to jump ship as the deadline for the filing of the certificates of candidacy nears. Question: Does the shift in allegiance automatically make the turncoats “good,’ or do they remain evil?

Just So You Know
A radio serial drama on the life, love, and rise to fame of MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando is being aired on DZRH 666kHz. The 14-part series is called “Ang Manggagawa.” And this just in! Sen. Chiz Escudero has expressed interest in serializing his life story too. The tentative title, “Ang Mang-nga-ngawa!”

Light Bites
Q: Why did Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago reject the offer of President Arroyo to become DENR secretary?
A: Galit siya sa mga PUNO.

If you have original “political” images similar to that JDVIII photo above, you may email them to The Professional Heckler: Pictures taken using cellular phones are just fine. Chosen photos will be used in future blog posts. Senders will be acknowledged. Thank you so much.

Lastly, for featuring yet again this blog on ANC’s Strictly Politics, thank you so much Ms. Pia Hontiveros. Catch her show every Tuesday, 8:00 to 9:00 PM on the ABS-CBN News Channel.


Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

79 thoughts on “SEASON’S GREETINGS”

      1. when you become an alumnus of UPD someday and you become rich or accomplished, and you decide, for old times’ sake that you need to give back to the institution that molded you, and this giving back is a donation for something your alma mater will put to good use, and in return, they honor you for such a well-intentioned act….

        then I wouldn’t mind seeing your name etched in a marker for everyone to see.

        ‘ika nga ng UP, its greatest strength is its alumni.

        and i don’t mind making a three-day pila sa new reg building para lang maging alumni.


      2. meron din ata sa CBA.

        let me share a piece i chanced to hear during a speech by sen. villar. sabi nya marami namang mga presidente ng pilipinas na galing sa UP, pero bakit ganito ang bansa natin? dahil daw lahat sila nanggaling sa maling college… it is time that we elect a leader who knows how to manage & lead the country as an organization of filipinos, for filipinos.

        yung parang stage sa sunken garden, isa din sya sa principal donors. not to mention the grants extended to various colleges.


    1. marami talaga…halos lahat ng my ginawang kalsada…dyan ang mga mukha nila Sec Ebdane at PGMA…mag kanao kaya ang cost ng mga billboards na yan…kung mg travel ka from one place to another…wheee…in every ten kilometers my isa or dalawang billboards nila…do we need that billboards along the hi-way?yung Macapagal hi-way sa Manila…less that 7kms pero bilyon ang halaga…samantalang yung ibang hi-way na umabot na ng 20km or more…d pa naka abot ng 100M ang halaga…see the corruption?haaaay…kaya na iinis c Sen. Trillanes dun…


  1. petroleum shortage?bakit kaya sa mga lugar lang na apektado nang price cap ang may shortage?sa visayas at mindanao naman ay wala…di ba sana kung walang nai-angkat yung mga big oil companies buong pilipinas ang may shortage?….just wondering…totoo nga cgurong wala tayong energy secretary hehehe…o di kaya’y sinadya para magkaroon nang chaos…hehehe…just wondering…


    1. my energy secretary naman dba…c Sec Angelo Reyes?palipat lipat na nga sya sa cabinete…halos lahat na upo an na nya…kasi lumipat din cya ng panig dati..from Estrada to Arroyo…kaya d yan ma alis sa pwesto ng cabinete hangang next yr…laki ang utang na loob ng mga Arroyo sa kanya…yan ang pang bayad utang na loob…hahaha…:) kawawang pinas…mga opisyal na ka upo sa pwesto dahil sa utang na loob…
      meron sana yung na discover na tubig ang pang palit sa gasolina…kaso d pinansin ng DOST…kasi..pag tubig na ang gamit ng mga sasakyan…pano na lang ang kita nila dun sa pag bili ng gasolina…mawawala na…haaay…grabe ang korakot sa pinas…


      1. I believe that the oil companies are really losing money. come on, if you’re a businessman, would you sell at a loss? If you have remaining inventory, will you sell it in Luzon where you’ll lose or in VisMin where the prices are reflective of that in the world market? Malaya’s editorial today is reflective of the real situation. Pa-pogi lang yan ni Gloria. I’m sure that as an economist, she understands the repercussions of her decision to meddle with the market. Sino ba ang primary consumers ng gasolina? Hindi naman mahihirap eh… those in the middle and upper income groups who owns lots of cars… who owns businesses that needs energy, etc. etc. Kung last year nga na 60 pesos ang gasolina hindi sya nakialam, why now? This may seem far-fetched but hey, Pampanga is in Luzon. I wanna run as Pampanga representative. Vote for me.


  2. Sarap umpisahan ng umaga sa ofis pag blog ni heckler ang unang nabubuksan. Actually, eto na ang default website ko sa IE, haha.

    3x a week? ngayon ang post ni heckler, pero dumadami materials niya, lalo na at malapit na eleksyon, malamang, 3x a day na next campaign period.

    Sana tularan ka ng mga ngumangawa sa TV, na imbes na ibuyo ang mga tao na magtanim ng galit sa mga pulitiko, gawin na lang nila silang katatawanan.


  3. Mr. PH, pwede ko bang idagdag dun sa tungkol sa energy secretary na “But that’s still good news considering the fact we do not have a government for more than eight years now”

    Kasumpa sumpa naman talaga yang mga pagbati na yan sa tarpaulin na yan!!! Walang iniwan sa mga:
    1. Bumabati sa radyo na ang binabati ay yung mga kasama nya sa bahay at nasa bahay naman sya,
    2. Bumabati ng happy birthday sa TV na palaga naman silang nagkikita at minsan ay kasama pa rin sa bahay.

    Para naman sa mga politiko na yan, dapat may batas na yung may tarpaulin na bumabati kahit na happy good friday with matching litrato na photoshopped to the max, kapag tumakbo sa elekson, minus 1,000 votes sa bawat poster or tarpaulin outside the campaign period.

    Kahit na nga yung pagkagandang gandang politician sa Maynila, nakakakulo ng dugo sa other ulo sa una pero pag tumagal nakakakulo na rin ng dugo sa tunay na ulo.


    1. @ Oblak – Parang kilala ko yung pulitiko na yan ah. Yan ba yung babaeng minsan eh fireman’s hat, minsan nurse’s hat at pag pasko eh santa’s hat ang nakapatong sa ulo? Iniintay ko na nga lang yung nude photo nya ilagay eh. ano kase pangalan nung babaita na yun? councilor yun diba?


  4. RE: tarpaulins

    Pangkaraniwan na pangitain na yan sa probinsya namin PH. Lalo na yung mga tents na hugis mukha ng mga gunggong na pulitiko na pinahihiram pag may patay, binyag, kasal at lahat ng okasyon. At dapat naka-balagbag sa gitna ng kalsada ang mga tents na ito. Bawal ilagay sa loob ng bakuran, dapat naka-harang sa kalsada. Minsan nga napapagkamalan na sila ang patay kasi pati yung black cloth sa lamay eh nilalagay nila ang pangalan nila.


  5. Totoong totoo yan Magsasaka!!! Yung mga tolda na may mukha o pangalan ng politiko kailangan ngang nakaharang sa kalsada. Pati silya at mesa may pangalan. Yung mga sasakyang panghatid, may pangalan o poster. Biruin mo, maghahatid sa sementeryo ang sasakyan, ang mukha ng politiko sa poster, nakangiti!!! Hindi masamang magpahiram ng gamit o tumulong sa kababayan pero kailangan ba talagang ipangalandakan sa buong bayan!!


  6. I am reprinting here an email I received from a reader. The sender will remain anonymous for now:
    Subject: THE TREE

    Dear Professional Heckler,
    I am an avid reader of your blog.
    Your wit & humor never fail to amuse me.

    Your blog on D. Puno (hence the captioned subject) brought back
    past memories of where the 60B money of the Road Board might have

    A few small planes are garaged in hangars along the NAIA runways, a few yachts are moored in the yacht club marina along Manila Bay (scene of many drug cruises headed by the tree & peter pan friends & the lost boys & girls of Neverland – the cruising & cruzing siblings & in-laws, long time family friends of the tree & his money man, Lino Barte, supposedly CEO of the presently closed Caticlan airport). Can someone enlighten the nation as to why the Caticlan airport has been closed? Barte is known in close circles as the financial thinker & dummy of the tree. Hmmmm, the rest of the 60B might be buried somewhere within the 100M tree house property bought by the tree from inigo Zobel or in villas within Fairways & Blue Waters along Boracay shores.

    Miriam Defensor-Santiago may also discover part of the 60B within the Fort area particularly plush condo bldgs whose ownership are under the name of the tree’s dummies. There will always be a trail of drug parties wherever the tree & his close group are. The drug parties are held within Dasma, Magallanes, the Fort & other private residences of the tree’s rich & famous friends, the not so rich but drug addicted friends & the once rich but now poor hanger-ons who know the tree is loaded…with ecstasy, shabu viagra pills & money…from the Road Board.

    Miriam may also want to look into a building along julia vargas ave where Alchemy Bar stands. This bar was intended to be the embassy away from the Embassy. The tree’s older brother who fortunately for us withdrew his candidacy for VP will surely protect the yoounger tree because blood is thicker than water & money is thicker than blood – to them who have no scruples.

    Gretchen B may also be invited to shed light on the Php 1M bag & other expensive ‘gifts’ the tree gave to encourage her to leave her clueless telecommunications lover.

    Will Miriam be successful in her crusade to let the tree account for the 60B anomaly? One must not forget that the older tree has always managed to ingratiate himself with the right people of the present & past dispensations.

    “Poems are made by fools like me, but I am grateful I’m not a tree”.
    -with all due respect to Joyce Kilmer.

    Blessed be your blog.


      1. I LOVE TEN! He he. Kasi minsan halos pareho lang yung binabalita ng 2 and 7. Sa TEN, iba yung binabalita nila. Like nung Ondoy, yung 2 and 7 nasa Marikina parati pero yung TEN, doon sila a Malabon na hindi naman binaha, ha ha. The best yung opening segment. Tsaka kapag nagbabasa na sila ng tweets or shout-outs. Tsaka yung mga upuan nila sa set. May couch pa talaga.


  7. the featured tarpaulin greeting is just one out many monstrosities littered along metro manila.
    in my humble opinion these politicians are overdoing it to the extreme.

    the mayor where i reside (p___g city) spends a lot of money in huge tarpaulin pictures of himself and his family (which are scattered practically everywhere) but when Ondoy came and people were expecting to see him in the flesh to extend assistance, he was a no show for the initial several days of the calamity.

    re: the trees
    nakakasuklam naman yan! sana makarating kay sen santiago yung letter para makatulog sa pagputol ng ugat ng mga trees of evil and wickedness.
    mukhang mga emissary sila galing sa place way down down down down down under


    1. Panlabindalawa: Bibigyan din ba niya ng pagkalaki-laking tarpaulin sina Joseph Estrada at mga kasama sa birthday nila?

      Panlabintatlo: Paki namin kung babatiin mo (JDV3) si Mayor Binay? Buti hindi niya (JDV3) binati sa Wowowee with matching cartolina at tiling may ‘ang gwapo gwapo mo Kuya Will’

      Panlabing-apat: May magpapagawa ba ng tarpaulin pag birthday na ni JDV3?


  8. Joey DeV used to go around in a european sportscar di ko lang ma recall if it was a lamborghini or ferrari. His Dad was still the reigning kingpin of the congress then. Medyo matagal na yun kasi buhay pa yun whistlestop sa makati and thats where i saw him. Pero para magkaroon ng ganun na kotse aba! Walang kaduda duda kurakot pinanggalingan nun. Joey is a spoiled brat who never grew up may small man complex pa kaya ubod ng yabang. He can also be kind pero wag na tayo maglokohan he is running for senator para lang gumanti kasi di niya nakuha gusto niya. Spoiled Brat!


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