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TYPHOONS!

5 10 2009

ATY_erap Typhoon Erap
Devastates the country for two hours and then leaves. Despite the entry of a new disturbance though, it threatens to re-enter the Philippine area of responsibility.

ATY_gma Typhoon Gloria
Continues to pummel the entire Philippines for nine hours now. Gustiness rivals that of Typhoon Marcos in the ‘70s. Initial damage to agriculture is estimated at P728 million. Damage to infrastructure is unknown but initial reports say reconstruction of Macapagal Boulevard alone has cost the government P536 million. It was also able to sustain its strength after interacting with Typhoon Erap. It is forecast to remain almost stationary.

TY_MAR Typhoon Mar
Threatened to enter Philippine territory but after seeing the vigilance of Filipinos, it was forced to back out and gave way to Typhoon Noynoy.

ATY_noy Typhoon Noynoy
Initially categorized as a tropical storm until weather specialists observed a sudden rise in its gustiness and wind speed. After being officially declared a typhoon, it now brings scattered rain showers in Luzon including Metro Manila. Moderate to strong winds are expected to blow toward the Visayas and Mindanao in the coming days. [By the way, beware of typhoon Noynoy’s thunder – it wouldn’t shut up!]

ATY_villar Typhoon Villar
Earlier forecast categorized it as a “super typhoon” maintaining strength in Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao. Roads and road extensions were damaged – twice (double devastation). But the entry of Typhoon Noynoy in Philippine territory has eclipsed its impact. The rest of the country will remain cloudy though.

ATY_bro Typhoon (Brother) Eddie:
A similarly-named typhoon entered the country in 2004 and threatened to pour 5 million centimeters of rainwater in the entire country. You know what happened. The typhoon was re-categorized as a drizzle.

ATY_bayani Typhoon Bayani
This weather disturbance was located at 14° 38′ 24″ North Northwest of Marikina City. Weather experts refused to categorize it as a typhoon because its impact is localized. It did, however attempt to pack maximum sustained winds similar to a tropical storm. But latest satellite data revealed no sign of activity.

ATY_vgibo Typhoon Gibo
It was nowhere near the Philippine area of responsibility until three hours before PAGASA made its latest forecast. In fact, typhoon Bayani’s moderate winds were already blowing east of the metro before Gibo made its presence felt and officially entered Philippine territory. The weather bureau forecasts similarities in the movements of typhoon Gibo and typhoon Gloria although both Gibo and typhoon Noynoy originated approximately 10 miles east of Central Luzon.

aty_binay Typhoon Jejomar
Described by weather specialists as “stubborn” and territorial,” this typhoon has recently threatened the whole country if not for some climatological developments. What’s alarming is that people to tend to ignore Typhoon Jejomar’s ability to destroy. It has remained stationary for 23 years (and counting).

Typhoon JDV
No heavy rains. No lightning. No flooding. It’s all thunder and wind.

ATY_chix Typhoon Loren & Typhoon Chiz
For the first time in local weather history, two typhoons entered the country at the same time making landfall on the same area. The impact is moderate though, without much damage, and both typhoons are expected to leave soon… unless either of them interact with typhoon Erap.

ATY_jamb Typhoon Jamby
The hardest to predict among the weather disturbances. Scattered raindrops will not completely wet an exposed surface regardless of duration. But the public is advised to remain cautious of lightning. Despite the rains, temperatures will remain high.

ATY_puno Typhoon Ronnie (Puno)
No satellite or surface data was made available because… “Tahimik lamang magtrabaho ang Typhoon Ronnie kaya maraming nagagawa (na damage).”
__________
“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.”
~ Willa Sibert Cather

Personal
I just read Malaya columnist Lito Banayo’s piece today, October 6. I have one word for him: peace. And to my readers, thank you so so so much. Let’s just get back to work and make this third world country a happy place to live.

Here’s that portion of Mr. Banayo’s column:
“We rushed our article last Friday the previous morning due to a series of early meetings. The night before, a friend e-mailed us this: “Several political personalities and controversial celebrities reportedly used Twitter to express their thoughts on this latest tragedy. Here are samples of unverified posted tweets.”

I saved the very wittily written “tweets”, and on Thursday morning, while I was on a rush for a scheduled meeting, I decided to use them for my Friday, October 2 column. Little did I realize at the time that the witticisms came from “the professional heckler.wordpress.com.” I even added two or so lines to what my friend sent me.

Readers informed me about my non-attribution as early as Friday afternoon, but there was no way I could apologize in print until today. So very sorry, professional heckler, and to the blog’s many followers as well.”

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88 responses

5 10 2009
pinoygossipboy

Hahaha. I love this article. Political satire at its best!

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5 10 2009
dreadnaught

hahaha, asteg na post!

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5 10 2009
theonoski

stationary for the last 23 yrs for typhoon jejomar..minsan sumama din si typhoon elenita just to continue their presence sa area =D.

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5 10 2009
chiwee

WINNER! Bravo Bravo Bravo! 🙂

Kung sila mga Typhoon lamang, ikaw naman Mr. Heckler ay Hurricane, Gale Storm, Sandstorm at Tsunami sa tindi ng creativity.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this post will be going the rounds again in the internet. Naway mga plagiarista dyan ay matututo nang mag-acknowledge ng sources nila.

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5 10 2009
chiwee

E yung drizzle ni Typhoon Brother Eddie V, drizzle ba talaga yun?

Mas marami pa nga yata kasi ang combined ihi ng anim na aso ko dito keysa 5 million millimeters nya. 🙂

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5 10 2009
chiwee

Btw, your “balimbing” tree laden with fruits is the best symbolic image for Typhoon Ronnie.

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5 10 2009
lababo

astig yung picture ni typhoon ronnie!
Scientific name: Averrhoa carambola;
English name: star fruit;
Common name: balimbing

bakit kaya yun ang pic? karambola? star? LOL!

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5 10 2009
kalokah

watch out for plagiarists for this.

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5 10 2009
Worried Pinoy

Typhoon Ronnie (Puno)
No satellite or surface data was made available because… “Tahimik lamang magtrabaho ang Typhoon Ronnie kaya maraming nagagawa (na damage).”

The best ito brother! With matching Balimbing tree! Nag kulang lang sa make-up pero overall, panalo pa din! hahahaha….

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5 10 2009
siyetehan

“Tahimik lamang magtrabaho ang Typhoon Ronnie kaya maraming nagagawa (na damage).”

naku, tama ka, PH. diyan tayo dapat mag-ingat.

kaya lumakas at nakapasok sa bansa si typhoon ramos at erap eh dahil diyan sa hanging habagat na yan.

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5 10 2009
jun

Typhoon Jejomar- beware of heavy DARK clouds haha

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5 10 2009
mountain top experience

typhoon noynoy can bring big damage. napansin niyo ba ang mata ng bagyo? ay! tingnan niyo na lang ang epekto sa buhok.

piz!

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5 10 2009
Jayjay

Your such a genius writter! Hilarios..i want to know if have a book, surely i buy…
please email me some of your constructed ideas at jayjaykanu2@gmail.com
God bless Mr. Heckler.. I am your no.1 fan

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5 10 2009
notchfilter

astig! galing mag-innovate ng style ah.
malamang maplagiarize na naman to.

ang gwapo ni puno! haha

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5 10 2009
gil

COOOOOOL Typoons PH!!!

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5 10 2009
sheng

OMG, I love this post, Bagyong-bagyo, wag sana tayo tamaan ng super typhoons na mga ito, tanggalin sila sa listahan!

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5 10 2009
rian

asteeeg!!!! love it!!!

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5 10 2009
Tito Boy

NICE POST!

TYPHOON DE VENECIA

A typhoon to be reckoned with two (2) years ago despite the defeat from Typhoon Erap who caused massive landslide in most part of the country. However, after colliding with Super Typhoon Gloria, Typhoon De Venecia was reduced to scattered rains in Pangasinan.

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5 10 2009
Sonia

you’re a genius. haha…perfect timing too.

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5 10 2009
kate

hahahahaha ang galing mo walang tatalo sa iyo kaya expect mo na i-plagiarized na naman yan.

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5 10 2009
edwini

3rd!!! LOL!!!!! cant stop laughing.. must breathe O2!!!! ugh!!! heheheehee
i like about noy’s thunder!!! ahahahahahaahahhaha!!!!

p.s
i hope those pirates wont copy your article =D

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5 10 2009
Akong

si Mike Velarde ba, di kasama sa mga typhoons? o umatras na?

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5 10 2009
Edong Tumbong

lupeet!

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5 10 2009
Ana

galing mo..
I don’t know where you get your inspiration but keep it up! I read your blog everyday here at Manila..
write something funny about the evacuees situation.

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5 10 2009
sows

galeng tlga…haha…sense of humor and informative post…love it! ^_^

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5 10 2009
i'm no angel

another masterpiece!

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5 10 2009
Anonymous

da best ! can i post this sa facebook and of course i tell them the professional heckler’s strikes again! keep it up ha!

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5 10 2009
professionalheckler

walang problema kahit ikalat n’yo. 🙂

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5 10 2009
anon

wow grabe ang galing. ang lakas ng hangin mo heck! I was blown away! Ituloy mo pa.

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5 10 2009
senior60

ang nagawa nga naman ng make-over ni kris kay noynoy,

kahit ano pang gustiness and wind speed ang dala ni ondoy

hindi natinag ang hair ni noynoy…

si mar, kailan kaya pagawan ni korina, or baka nasabi na ni

korina sa kanyang sarili, bahala ka sa buhay/hair mo….

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5 10 2009
WILMA O. SANTOS

Best ever blog! Utterly creative and consumately humorous. That picture of Ronnie Puno takes the cake.

Typhoon Gloria almost wrecked $3.0 billion havoc on Phil. telecommunication structures. Luckily, cold front ‘Lozada’ diverted it to China.

Keep it up PH, you’re the best.

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5 10 2009
professionalheckler

that “cold front” thing put a smile on my face. and i just woke up. thank u for the support!

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6 10 2009
Witty

Cold front is indeed WITTY. hahahah.
Lozada=Cold front

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5 10 2009
Belisema

i am sure, kokopyahin naman ito ng mga magagaling kuno na kolumnista 😀

Puno….swak na swak ang prutas na balimbing! 😀

typhoon jejomar…ang bagyong ito ay grabeng dusa ang aabutin ng pinas 😀

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5 10 2009
mavakes

Bwahahahaha! THUMBS UP to you PH! Wala na talagang tatalo sayo. Loved that balimbing tree.

By the way, beware of typhoon Noynoy’s thunder – it wouldn’t shut up! – KRIS? ahihihi

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5 10 2009
professionalheckler

mismo! ‘yung babaeng sumasapaw lagi kay ms tina monzon-palma. sabi ko sa friends ko, ABS-CBN should have produced KRIS AQUINO’s own telethon. solo sha!

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6 10 2009
Jayjay

Your a Genius! Mr Heckler..You roar like our Merlion in Singapura.

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6 10 2009
professionalheckler

inggit ako. i want to go to singapore. 🙂 thanks for the compliment.

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6 10 2009
Jayjay

Oo nga, mas nauna pa yung blog mo na nakapunta dito..Keep posting..Super nakakatawa pero kunting menor lang sometimes joke hurts. Pero sige lang, ang pikon ay laging talo.. Singapore is welcoming you and can’t wait to step on it..Regards&Godbless

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6 10 2009
chiwee

Ngik. As Tourist, okay sya. As Urban Planning student/practitioner, dabest. As English learner, yak. As expat, take it from me, I gave up after one and a half year.

Basta mahabang kuwento.

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5 10 2009
Migs

Nalaglag ako sa upuan ko sa kakatawa!

Panalo ang JDV at Ronnie!

““Tahimik lamang magtrabaho ang Typhoon Ronnie kaya maraming nagagawa (na damage)”

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6 10 2009
mavakes

nasa loob ang kulo hihihi

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6 10 2009
orman

super galing ng pagkakasulat at pagkakalahad…. and i love this blog site! you’re now in my blog roll!

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6 10 2009
TOMADOR

Typhoon Gibo? Meron ba nun? LOL Dapat ang classification dyan is “isolated rain showers NO THUNDER storms” bwahaaahahahahaha

Kasi kahit anong gawin ni Gibo, hindi mananalo yan!!!! baka mas mataas pa boto ni Bro. Eddie nyan pagka nagbilangan na LOL…unless Ronnie “the magician” Balimbing Puno springs into action

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6 10 2009
Jayjay

Tignan natin. Gibo will rule

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7 10 2009
TOMADOR

Yeah, Gibo will rule his district in Tarlac LOL

Seriously, Gibo will rule if Puno starts his “magic” 😉

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6 10 2009
mbw

ang galeng ng wit mo, heckler!!! goes to show the super resiliency of the Pinoy people what with these blustery typhoons being with us for sooooo long!!!

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6 10 2009
J. R. Ramos Go

Fantastic!

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6 10 2009
batang buotan

Typhoon Erap, go way! ‘Wag ka nang bumalik!

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6 10 2009
juanaganda

Hurricane PH, kelan ka ba magkakaroon ng book? Pa-autograph ako agad ng copy ko and I’ll give you a torrid kiss you’ll never forget in return …..hihihihihih!!! (as in, ‘yung pina-kangkarot kong tawa….talbog si Kris the thunder).

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6 10 2009
professionalheckler

hhahaahhahaahahahah!

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6 10 2009
bingwakay

bwahahaha. you have to fight to be first in line juanabeauty. marami kang karibal.

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6 10 2009
Sows

ako din! pasabit! hehe$,$

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6 10 2009
paul

May napatay na ang Typhoon Noynoy na 14 people sa Luisita while it was still a localized downpour. It has also impoverished the people there unti now. Dumating na rin ata sa Mindanao. Nakita ko poster niya sa JC Aquno Avenue sa Butuan City this morning. Campaign period na ba?

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6 10 2009
senior60

100% correct ka tomador, hindi talaga typhoon si gilbert,

maski si de quiros ay iniiwasan pag-usapan si gilbert dahil

wala syang masama na maibato, idol kasi ni de quiros si

obama kaya takot sya na gilbert will do an obama, so, impossible

ba tomador?

bakit ba kasi kayo takot na ipagpatuloy ni gilbert ang mga programs

and policies ni arroyo, mayroon naman tayong mga taga opposition

and the people to counter to the bad ones, and i’m sure magkaroon

sya ng sariling mga visions for our country, ang importante is his

person, amongst, talagang sila lang ni noynoy that i think will not

succumb to corruption and plunder, kaya lang, lamang talaga si gilbert

in many aspects…

sinong gusto ninyo, si typhoon noynoy who will be a puppet president?

may taga bihis, may taga pagsalita?

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7 10 2009
Magsasaka

@ Senior60

Noynoy will be a puppet president? How can you be so sure that Gibo will not be a puppet president too? Besides, I cant see anything wrong with being a puppet as long as the master is the Constitution, Common Good and Sentido Comon. Hope all your presidentiables think this way. You’re saying “may taga bihis, may taga pagsalita?”, All presidents, even Obama has one. Based from your revious comments, you’re really into this “Gibo” person. Hope he wins the race and do those things you’re telling us today.

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7 10 2009
TOMADOR

Teodoro will do an Obama? How? Humor me please.

De Quiros does not support Teodoro for the simple fact that De Quiros does not believe in him and for obvious reasons Gibo is (as gasgas as it may sound) the “alter ego” of Arroyo. Seriously, how can he convince the people of the PH his intentions while serving a “corrupt president”?

I don’t think only Gibo can continue the good programs(if there are really any) of the incumbent, Gibo nor any other aspirant has sole exclusivity for that option. C’mon now.

Are you serious about your description of “puppet president”? That’s daft.

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6 10 2009
chinkoi

very witty indeed! satire at it’s finest, hehehe. this is one of the blogs i continue to read in the office, after a long boring day, this humor really bounces me back to finish the day. and btw, when you dropby singapore, do visit malaysia as well! you have fans here too… hope you come up with a more regular post, better yet, a book! 😀

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6 10 2009
Anonymous

Just want to share a comment from Philippine Star…funny but true!

(posted on Oct 06, 2009 02:17 AM)
Member since Sep 16, 2009

Its common knowledge that floodwater brings diseases as mentioned above (imagine an overflowing septic tank) including contaminants from agricultural or industrial chemicals or by dangerous agents at flooded waste/garbage sites.

Even my grandma who did not go to school knew the dangers of floodwater. Growing up, she scared me of the dreaded bakukang, those ugly sores that leave huge peklat. Vanity you say, but for teenage girls tadtad nang peklat is worse that death!

Seriously, we do not seem to realize the gravity of wading in floodwater. Of course many times we do not have a choice but get in contact with floodwater but how about many of us who purposely wade/swim and treat street flood as our own private swimming pool? Endangering ourselves and others? And this practice is not solely confined in the poor areas in case anyone writes back “mahihirap lang ang gumagawa niyan”. I’ve watched YouTube postings from people living inside the gated-communities.
What happened to common sense? Tinangay na ba nang baha?

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6 10 2009
jay

dis is one of da best. can’t help but send it to my friends. maybe u should make a compilation book of all ur blogs… it will be a best seller..tnx

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6 10 2009
Sidney

Hahaha…excellent !

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6 10 2009
Regina

Buti naman at nag-sorry si Lito Banayo…mahiya naman siya sa backfat niya…

Like

6 10 2009
Kikoy

LOL sa Balimbing na piktyur, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha….

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6 10 2009
Kikoy

LOL sa Balimbing piktyur, hahahahahhahahhahah, it really make sense!

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6 10 2009
May

haha! Sana next time yung mga artista naman! thanks for this, it made me laugh @ 12mn. 🙂

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6 10 2009
denise

i hope typhoon binay leaves makati soon…i’m still hoping, one day makati will see the light!

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7 10 2009
kalokah

you can’t find any place like makati. i’m not pro-binay but is there a place anywhere in the philippines that:
– almost zero crime rate
– clean, if not very clean
– free education (on public schools, with free supplies every school year – doon sa mga elementary/HS at least)
– a working/functioning hospital
– did you see their police station in buendia? you should see it.
– fast processing of business permits
– nobody dares to violate traffic around ayala (including jeepney drivers, saan ka makakakita nun?)
– weird man to, pero yung senior citizen ay me birthday cake kada birthday nila with Php1000 pa ata or more.
– yellow card, para half yata sagot ng makati gov’t pag nahospital ka.

well. eto lang ang mga nakikita ko sa makati. i’m not pro-binay, but i think if he can do this in at least 60% in the philippines, then maybe binay is ‘the man’.

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7 10 2009
paul

Makati is what is is now because of the foresight and good management of the Ayalas. On the government side, Yabut basically set up the operation of the city. Binay just gained and took credit of the previous accomplishements. He has his contributions but all with populist component intended to perpetuate his family in power. If he is a mayor of Tabuk, Kalinga Apayao or Bongao, TawiTawi and brought these up to the level of Makati before he took power, baka nakakabelieve pa siya.

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7 10 2009
TOMADOR

Di nga? Lahat yan meron??

Isama mo na din ito

– Parating binabaha sa area ng Palanan, San Antonio
– May libre syang unit kada isang condo, syempre not under his name for obvious reasons
– Clean??? di nga? dumadaan ka ba sa Kalayaan Avenue papuntang Buting? Nakapasok ka na ba sa loob ng Barangay Olympia??
– Nobody dares to violate the traffic rules? Ows, talaga? Kelan ka pa nakatira sa Makati?

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7 10 2009
kalokah

good points.
again, i’m not a binay fan. i’m just sharing my observations.
about those ‘privileges’ (yellow card, free education – in UMAK, i think if you are fr makati – tuition is free, if not – me bayad, or something like that).
you have to be registered in makati to avail those privileges. if not, walang benefits. hence his campaign strategy – …dito sa makati.

ayaw or hindi gaanong garapal ang mga driver kasi me ‘quota’ ang mga traffic police ng makati – kaya huli ng huli. kaya majority (sa akin lang) ng driver hindi sumusuway. naka-experience rin ako ng taxi na ayaw dumaan ng makati kasi daw marami nanghuhuli. bakit takot sya mahuli is problema nya yun.

maybe it is because of the ayalas. but the ayalas have been in north luzon, cebu, mindanao in years, but those parts where the ayalas are visible are still nowhere near makati. again, this is just my observation and i’m not a fan.

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8 10 2009
paul

Maybe you were too young or not travelled enough or opened enough books to see Alabang in the 70’s or the place whch nis now Cebu Ayala in the 80’s. The Ayalas started building the Makati that you admire since the 60’s.

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6 10 2009
dabawenya

since I’ve found my way to your site.. this is like my cup of coffee in the morning hehehehe.. parang kulang pag hindi ako maka-daan talaga… ;=)… keep it up…

and if it’s alright with you, I’d like to post your link to my FB wall, once-in-awhile, lalo na pag na-iyak ako sa tawa-ng-tawa sa mga posts niyo.. talagang nakakawala ng stress… 😀 more power to you and keep it up…

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6 10 2009
professionalheckler

sure. no problem. 🙂 and hello sa mga davao. i’ve been to davao once. it’s a laidback place. sarap jan.

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7 10 2009
layna

panalo ka talaga, Heckler!!!!! i lurve this!

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7 10 2009
kwag

HAHAHA galing! hindi ko alam kung anong issue meron c puno pero kumusta naman yun at natawa ako! dalawa lang din pagpipilian ko as president, si gibo at noynoy.. minus points kay noynoy ang sinasabi mong thunder.tsk. now back to work

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7 10 2009
paul

Typhoon Chiz looks like a unique weather phenomenon. Continuous thunderous noise but no lightning, rain or wind.

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7 10 2009
senior60

magsasaka, foremost, sana mag dilang anghel ka, na gilbert

will win this race…

yes, alam ko naman na all presidents have, and thank you very

much na you mentioned about ‘constitution, common good and

sentido comon’, the first two ay madali lang, pwede pag-aralan,

mungkahi ng mga advisers, pero para kay noynoy, dito ako nababahala,

kasi, para talaga syang walang sentido comon na syang pinaka-

importante, sorry but that is how i perceived him to be….

imagine mo, in an ambush interview, sa pinaka simpleng tanong

tungkol sa kanyang lovelife dahil his girlfriend was present in that

gathering, he mumbled, like, hindi ko naintihan dahil parang he was

eating his words, but finally said na, he can only gave 2 hours a day…

and this is not the first incident that this happened, mabuti kung

nasa tabi nya palagi si mar to speak for him, dito lang sa atin yan ha,

papaano na kapag dadalo na sya sa mga meeting of the leaders of

the world….

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7 10 2009
Ralph Guzman

Hi, Professional Heckler!

I’ve always been reading your site. I hope you win on Friday!

(And good too, that you received the apology)

More power!

Ralph G.

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7 10 2009
Louie M.

Typhoon Binay is what meteorologists call a “microburst” — small and localized, but packs a wallop! If it fuses with Typhoon Erap, we will have a wonderful meteorological anomaly… probably the best thing that would happen to us. =)

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7 10 2009
leo

hahaha, ang galing!

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8 10 2009
corvin

lol… love “noynoy’s thunder” real funny… 😉

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8 10 2009
chinggay santos

Hi, just found your site becasue I’m now busy doing nothing, keep it up, update us on typhoon victims, rescue operations and relief distribution, I know somewhere there’s something crazy.

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9 10 2009
jceggplant

Interesting how you use the metaphor of a typhoon sometimes as a beneficent factor and sometimes as a malevolent one. I would like to request you to write a piece on GMAs nosediving popularity ratings. My friends and I have been joking between ourselves that if it goes any lower, she should be considered as a candidate for sacrificial blood offering to the gods so the typhoons will spare us :). Anyhow, who would miss her?

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9 10 2009
west500

it made my day!

funny!

guys, im inviting you to vote here pls:

http://mykiru.blogspot.com/2009/10/pics-and-poll-candidates-for-mister.html

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15 10 2009
Star

Ay PH, cool, pero kulang pa, dami pa raw trops na darating, before the year end (comelec reg’n. ends).
Everybody, look at GNN talkshow featuring JL with host Harry, baka makalimutan natin para ano pa ang bagyo kung patay comelec count, bilib ako sa mention niya clearing house as mode of checking. Nakakaisip statements nung mama ha.

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24 10 2009
2k2k

Si Typhoon Mike Velarde hindi nakarating kasi masama ang panahon!!!Hindi nakadala ng payong! he he he

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4 11 2009
If our politicians were typhoons « Cocoy’s Delight

[…] 5, 2009 by cocoy826 TYPHOONS! […]

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6 11 2009
Sows

asteeg! well-researched artic! as expected and as always! 😉

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