satellite State of Calamity
As typhoon Pepeng pummels Northern Luzon, President Arroyo places the entire country under a state of calamity. Gilbert Teodoro’s campaign goes nationwide.

Price Control
With the declaration of a state of calamity, price control will also take effect… delighting Pampanga Rep. Mikey Arroyo who really enjoys shopping during stormy weather.

mikey_wine Mikey: “It wasn’t me!”
Calling the accusation malicious, Pampanga Rep. Mikey Arroyo has denied Facebook reports that he was photographed buying liquor at the height of tropical storm Ondoy last week. In another news dismissed by Arroyo as totally unrelated, the Office of the Ombudsman has issued a memorandum prohibiting the release of pictures of government officials without their consent.

Philippines Flooding Evacuation Centers
Did you see the hundreds, if not thousands of people who were pushing and yanking one another just to get food from TV stations? Where in the world were Congressmen Danilo Suarez and Martin Romualdez when we needed them most?

JIL Cancels Celebration
Presidential hopeful Bro. Eddie Villanueva announced that the 31st anniversary celebration of the Jesus is Lord Movement tomorrow has been called off in respect for the devastation brought by tropical storm “Ondoy” last week. Instead, the preacher and his disciples plan to feed the hungry victims of the storm – five million of them, to be exact.

croc Croc in Floodwaters?
Reports say a Pasig City resident named Michael Lambert photographed a crocodile as it swam in murky floodwaters during the onslaught of tropical storm Ondoy. In a statement issued immediately after the report came out, Pasig City Rep. Roman Romulo claimed he never left home during the storm.

Meralco and Blackouts
The Lopez-owned Manila Electric Company (Meralco) denied rumors it was shutting off power due to typhoon Pepeng. No, it won’t. Lest you forget, Meralco brownouts happen only whenever GMA 7 pilots a Marian Rivera telefantasya.

jomasison In Other News…
Communist leader Jose Maria Sison is rejoicing after his name was taken out of the terror list of the European Union. To celebrate his victory, Ka Joma’s NPA comrades are torching five Globe cell sites this month.

Lucky Ombudsman
The House Committee on Justice recently junked the impeachment complaint filed against Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez. As a gesture of gratitude to the congressmen, Gutierrez is issuing a memorandum circular categorizing SALNs of public officials as highly-classified government documents.
“Prohibit the taking of omens, and do away with superstitious doubts. Then, until death itself comes, no calamity need be feared.”
~Sun Tzu

Survey Says
Who will win the UAAP men’s basketball championship?
Ateneo Blue Eagles: 40%
UE Red Warriors: 13%
I am not interested: 47%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

OCTOBER 6, 2009:
Mr. Lito Banayo has apologized for re-printing in his column a portion of my September 28 blog post. Apology accepted.

trapo_rin Briefly Noted
Even leftist solons have gone the trapo way! Bayan Muna’s Teddy Casiño, Gabriela’s Liza Largoza-Maza and the moderate Rissa Hontiveros-Baraquel of Akbayan have started airing their premature political ads on AM radio. What a shame!

Briefly Noted, Too
If ABS-CBN’s DZMM is perceived to be pro-Noynoy Aquino, MBC’s DZRH is obviously supporting Manny Villar. Listen to its primetime newscast and you will notice its shameless promotion of Mr. S&T.

Briefly Noted III
ABS-CBN featured only the heroics of their talents during the onslaught of tropical storm Ondoy. GMA 7 highlighted only their own artists’ good Samaritan efforts. Even during a disaster, the network war is alive. Nakakasawa na!

Stay safe people and have a productive weekend!

Note: This particular post has been installed with an anti-plagiarism device. Reprint at your own risk.

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

80 thoughts on “CALAMITOUS”

  1. yehey, at last makikilala na manok ko…

    of course, marami hindi masisiyahan sa kanyang

    ginagawa, but that is understandable because

    marami mga oppositionista, and they will never

    appreciate, maski na siguro tumulay pa sa alambre

    si gilbert…

    the important thing is, makilala na sya…


  2. Even leftists solons have gone the trapo way! Bayan Muna’s Teddy Casiño, Gabriela’s Liza Largoza-Maza and the moderate Rissa Hontiveros-Baraquel of Akbayan have started airing their premature political ads. What a shame!

    is that true?

    “Lest you forget, Meralco brownouts happen only whenever GMA 7 pilots a Marian Rivera telefantasya.”

    is that true too?


  3. I am interested in knowing about the political ads of Bayan Muna. Where did you find it and what is it all about? By the way, I think your blog is really cool and very informative. I am sorry to hear that some people are using your blogs for their personal gain…well, it just shows that you are really good and popular.


  4. I cannot agree more on your comment about partylist representatives doing trapo way of campaign. Yes, they represent the marginalized, but with what they are doing, they are no longer different from those who they once belabor. Tsk tsk. They have allowed themselves to be engulfed by the elite politics. Anyway, they are part of since they entered politics because they are part of the few who have power, only in the guise of representation. Unless they change their methods, I will view it that way.


  5. Sa tono mo, may simpatya ka sa mga progresibong party-list.

    Gusto mo ba silang manalo?

    Kung oo, kailangan mong tanggapin na ganoon ang laro ng pulitika. Di hamak na mas mahalagang makapagpasok ng progresibong tinig sa Kongreso at Senado, kaysa magpakatali sa usapin ng sinong nangangampanya nang mas maaga.

    Tsaka iyung kay Joma, tell me, sinasabi mo bang terorista siya dahil nanununog ang NPA ng Globe cell sites? Pwede mong sabihing hindi iyun ang intensyon mo, pero hindi ka maingat sa tinutungo ng biro mo. Una, iba si Joma sa NPA. Pangalawa, seryoso ang implikasyon ng pagbabansag ng terorista.

    Ayaw kong maging KJ dito sa blog mo, dahil paborito ko rin ito. Pero seryoso ang mga usaping binuksan mo, at ayan na nga oh — kanda-react na ang mga kontra-Kaliwa.


      1. you just don’t stop it, hey… let me tell you something, the place i work there are people they call VIP, CEO, President, SVP & VP; if you happen to travel by air you will notice there are classes, such as; various economy class, business class & first class, and also if you happen to notice the Gov’t itself would categorize its people from Class A to E, now my question, what do you think would you call those people that does not belong to the above? i am not saying i belong to them but i do not have problem being called an ordinary Animal!!!


  6. just a correction… meralco is no longer owned by the lopezes in the sense that they only have 13 per cent of it now. they sold to MVP, remember? MVP and San Miguel are now the two largest blocks of shareholders in Meralco. so don’t blame the lopezes if GMA 7 has problems, real or imagined, with Meralco. i guess the mistake in your blog was more because of force of habit.


    1. ngek! my photos are found in the ABOUT THE HECKLER section. my full name is there. my full profile is also there. kulang na lang i-upload ko ang picture ng internal organs ko [sorry, i can’t do that]. everyone who follows Letterman, Conan, Stewart, Colbert, or Leno would know that my posts are nothing compared to how those guys tackle American politics! What Mr. Banayo did remains a puzzle to me though.


  7. may the force be with TEDDY, LISA and ka Satur, never mind baraquel dahil National Democrat ako!

    wag naman sanang PURITAN ang dating mo heckler, yung trapo gago pag nagpapatalastas dahil ang yaman yaman na nya at kurakot naniniguro pa sya na makalamang at mag ka name re call-at dahil ganyan ang kalakaran ng pulitika wag mong kwestyunin na ito din ang paraan ng mga progressive to get back at them. What matter is the intention. kasi ang huling arbiter nito ay eleksyon ,pag hinayaan mo lang na trapo ang makalamang sa name recall game talo ang mga makabayan at progresibo.

    ps atleast yung kay teedy na ad may mensahe yung kay baraquel barubal na endorsement at senatorial ad talaga,


  8. i didn’t know that Boo works as publicist of the Lopezes now. having cut his teeth in the defunct Manila Chronicle, we understand his undying loyalty to his former generous bosses. that’s how Danding’s former employees react when their ex- boss is under the microscope. btw, Boo loves your blog PH having lifted a couple of lines in his column @ Philstar with proper attribution of course!


  9. Hi Heckler, This is Tomador…hope we can down a couple of cold one’s LOL

    EB!?? LOL


    Banayo is a piece of sh@t

    Mikey Arroyo – what good can you expect from an Arroyo?

    Ahh the leftists…Casino, Masa and Ocampo now the politicking of the communists has started.

    GMA Highlights Richard Guttierez rescuing Christine Reyes, that makes him a hero already? Pathetic! Dapat nalunod na lang yun Richard kasama nanay nya at si Ruffa LOL


  10. Mr. PH, pagbigyan mo na si mr. banayo, if you noticed so blog site nya ang dami nagcomment dun sa blog mo na kinopya nya (di nga lang cute mga comments he he he 🙂 as compared sa mga blogs na sinulat nya…as in walang mga comments, or may isa yata???? 🙂

    ganda blog mo….keep it up, for sure panalo ka ulit 🙂


  11. Good Post Sir PH. Regarding sa Lito banayo bruhaha eh pag-aralan mo na lang yung mga “pinaglingkuran ni Banayo” . From ERAP, to Ping and Now ang totoo raw na dilaw ang keso ng senado. nakakalungkot nga lang eh Professor ko pa naman yan sa Letran dati hehehe. Hindi ba Professor yan sa Letran ng Political science . may ihaharap pa ba yan sa mga students dun? Regarding sa mga political ads ng mga bayan Muna Reps, pansin ko unang lumabas ito sa DZMM. may Discount kaya sila doon sa Lopez-owned radio station. What a shame din na nadismissed ang impeachment case ng kaklase ni FG habang abala tayo sa Typhoon Ondoy. Meralco and the Lopez empire are now rejoicing nasabotahe ng brown out ang ratings nung Ondoy Typhoon. Puro naging single digit ang mga ratings sa Mega manila.


  12. hay naku ang mga anti-left talaga wala nang tamang gnawa ang kaliwa, eh anung side ba ng politix ang tinatayuan nyo? apathy? kung mai ang left sino ang tama s atingin nyo, kayo? sino ba ang nag contest ng trapom politics sa pilipinas kundi ang left, ayun at nadala na ng agos ang middle class movement andito’t matatag pa rin ang left, bago nyo punahin an kilusang kaliwa tignan nyo muna kung yung political belief nyo ba nag ka impact man lang sa buhay ng mamamayang pilipino, your comments are good but its just it comments, kung ayaw nyong maging senador sina casino, maza at ocampo edi sige re elect nyo si enrile.

    when will the politicking of the elite END


    1. Tama pala gumamit ng child soldiers, mag-extort ng revolutionary taxes, mag-summary execution ng mga anti-people kuno, magsunog ng cell sites, mag-turo sa lahat na kapalpakan sa Amerika, magbrainwash ng mga bata, magmalinis palagi at may leader na nakatira sa karanyaan sa Europa. Kaya pala pati yung mga bansang kumunismo (China, Vietnam, Russia) naging kapitalista na.


  13. hahahah di lumabas din na ignoramus ka, mag research ka nga kung gnawa yan ng bayan muna, anak pawis gabriela at kabataan partylist? even BAYAn and its affiliates? mag basa ka ng court rekords at ng mga newspaper clippings at patunayan mo. puro ka generalizations! wala ka namang prueba. sabi ng isang pantas: kung wala kang pag aaral at pagsasaliksik wala kang karapatang mag salita. anti-commy ka lang talaga. is that your best shot. poor poor poor.

    e yung minamahl mong sistema na nag luwal ng mga marcos, arroyo at ikaw paul, oo ikaw at ang mga katulad mong relihoyon ang pag tanggol sa anumang kontra kaliwa, kumusta naman.galing ng anti left religion at ang mga minamahal na lider nila, sino na nga yung nag sabi na “she;s tired of chasing the bully”? at that “the war against the left is the glue that binds”? sihge mag shama shama kayo paul ha? hahahah


    1. Taga Compostela Valley ako at lumaki ako na nakikita ang abuso ng mga taga kaliwa, Kaya 1930’s pa nag simula hindi pa rin nag-wagi di tulad ng ibang communist movement sa Vietnam, Cuba, Laos kasi puro bulok ang pagiisip. Halatang power hungry. Mas power hungry pa kay Marcos, Dahas pa ang ginagamit.


  14. naku tell that to me laking bikol ako kaya alam ko ang kaliwa sa pinaka kanan. pwede ba paul kung makikipag debate ka check mo muna sa psych utak mo may split personality ka eh, kinokuntra mo sarili mo, mas malala ipinapahiya mo sarili mo hahaha.

    matapos mong sabihing walang wenta ang “communist” govt abroad, mangangantyaw ka na antagal nat di pa nananalo dito sa pinas. mas atat ka pa sa meimbro ah. so hinangaan mo ang bilis ng pag catapult sa poder ng mga nag papakilalang communist abroad.

    sabi mo 1930 pa hindi manalo nalo asan ang pag ka power hungry dun? dong check your statements wag subrahan ang pag singhot ng kulantro.

    kung anuman ang nasaksihan mo nung kabataan mo sa com-val maraming ng paliwanag yung ngayon..di ka lang nag bababsa

    pero yung sinasamba mong sistema papatay at mangdudukot para lang manatili sa poder…. di yun power hungry sayo diba paul….


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