PLANS

noysisses
Noynoy in 2010
Sen. Noynoy Aquino says his sisters Pinky and Viel do not want him to run either for president or vice president in 2010. Noynoy clarifies though that neither Pinky nor Viel will decide for him. It will be Josh.

shalani Noynoy’s Girl
Sen. Noynoy Aquino has finally admitted that he has a girlfriend. For a change, the new girl is neither a newscaster nor a bold star.

Recto Resigns
Socioeconomic Planning Secretary Ralph Recto has resigned his post effective August 16. Batangueños are rejoicing. Finally, they can have their governor back.

ABS-CBN’s Profit
ABS-CBN reported a 12 percent growth in airtime revenues for the second quarter of 2009. With this positive development, Gabby Lopez has promised to hire better writers and researchers for the network’s documentary programs.

kobe-bryant_nba_la-lakers Postscript to Kobe’s Visit
According to recent gossip columns, when NBA superstar Kobe Bryant visited RP last month, he had dinner with starlet Michelle Madrigal in a posh restaurant in Makati City… to which Press Secretary Cerge Remonde said, “So?! It’s just a simple late-night dinner! Not a single centavo of taxpayers’ money was spent!”

Light Bites
Philippine Star columnist William Esposo emailed me this joke:

Ninoy Aquino: “The Filipino is worth dying for.”

Cory Aquino: “The Filipino is worth living for.”

Gloria Arroyo: “The Filipino is worth dining for.”

And if I may add more …

Sen. Mar Roxas: “The Filipino is worth biking for.”

Joseph Estrada: “The Filipino is worth drinking for.”

Sen. Manuel Villar: “The Filipino is worth inserting for.”

Sen. Mar Roxas 2: “The Filipino is worth cursing for.”

Sen. Panfilo Lacson: “The Filipino is worth killing for.”

Pampanga Gov. Ed Panlilio: “The Filipino is worth quarrying for.”

Lilia Pineda: “The Filipino is worth jueteng for.”

Sen. Jamby Madrigal: “The Filipino is worth… half of my inheritance.”

Sen. Lito Lapid: “The Filipino is worth… a thousand words.”

________
“Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.”
~George Bernard Shaw

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

33 thoughts on “PLANS”

  1. may i add more..

    Anabel Rama: The Felepenu es wurth dyeng fur! DONG!
    Bro. Mike: The Felepenu es wurth dyeng poor! Ilabas ang mga panyo!
    Mirriam Santiago: The Filipinow izz worthhhh dyinngg forrrrr!
    Loren Legarda: The Filipino is worth waiting for an old man!
    GMA: The Fhiliphino ish wortsh leaking for!
    FG: The Filipino is worth silicon-free!
    EraP: The Filipino is worth jueteng-free! HIK!!!!
    Lito Lapid: The Filipino is worth studying for! Ingles is hard kasi!
    Among ED: The Filipino is worth tons of lahar!
    Jinggoy: The Filipino is worth like you Dad! Tagay pa!

    Like

  2. I agree that Noynoy is not ready for presidency or vice presidency yet. He should better off stay running as a Senator for the meantime so that he can expound his credentials and worth to be called as “THE MAN” to be worth for the “new government”. I think he is not as eccentric as his late father but who knows…i’ll cross my fingers on the outcome of the next Philippine elections.

    Like

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