NOTES ON A SONA

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GMA’s 9th State of the Nation Address
The good news is… President Arroyo stated in her State of the Nation Address that her term would end in June 2010. The bad news is… that speech was first drafted last December 30, Rizal Day.

According to the Philippine Daily Inquirer, the president’s State of the Nation Address lasted 57 minutes & 33 seconds. That’s 50 minutes of applause, 7 minutes of critic-lashing, and 33 seconds of accomplishments.

Reports say the president’s State of the Nation Address was interrupted 126 times by applause… and at least three times when she checked on her chest for any leaks.

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At one point during her address, President Arroyo acknowledged the presence of Tarnati Dannawi, a Badjao who was taught modern fish farming; he earned 180,000 pesos in one year. She then acknowledged the presence of Lito Lapid, a Kapampangan, who was taught lawmaking; he earned earned 1 billion pesos in five years.

In an apparent dig at Sen. Mar Roxas, the president said, “If you really want something done… don’t pussyfoot… don’t pander.” GMA’s allies in the gallery applauded… except for senators Lito Lapid and Bong Revilla who had to look up the words “pussyfoot” and “pander” in the dictionary.

Reacting to GMA’s tirades, Sen. Mar Roxas said “Hindi ko pinapansin ang mga ganyang banat. Ang pinapansin ko lang ay ang hinaing ng ating mga kababayan” to which Sen. Manny Villar said, “Talaga? Sige nga… mamigay ka ng anim na bahay.”

Taking swipe at former president Joseph Estrada whom she granted executive clemency, Mrs. Arroyo said, “Those who live in glass houses should cast no stones. Those who should be in jail should not threaten it, especially if they have been there.” An irate Estrada told the press, “Eh tanga pala siya eh. Semento kaya ang bahay ko!”

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SONA Fashion
Just when we thought KFC’s recent offering was the biggest… came President Arroyo’s SONA attire. Extra Large Bucket of Fries, anyone?

sona_fashion2 Sen. Jamby Madrigal described her new gown as a “modified Maria Clara.” Just like her.

Loren_back Presidential wannabe Loren Legarda recycled her outfit – a year-old fuchsia gown by designer Paul Cabral that bared her back- or as opposition stalwarts Ernie Maceda and John Osmeña would call it – backless.

Light Bites
Q: What did Mike Arroyo say when he saw Loren Legarda during GMA’s SONA?
A: Back Off!

Philippines Aquino In Other News…
Former president Cory Aquino’s cancer has reportedly spread. The cancer is spreading so rapidly… even Noynoy Aquino has lost all his hair.

Mass for Cory
Manila City Hall continues its series of healing mass for former President Corazon Aquino. But starting today, former Supreme Court justice Adolf Azcuna will not be invited.
__________
“Promises are like babies: easy to make, hard to deliver.”
~Author Unknown

Elsewhere
Manila Standard Today columnist Antonio Abaya cries censorship.

What’s more odd than a former Immigration official who eats death threats for breakfast? An ex-president who eats human flesh for dinner! Check this out.

Survey Says…
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Ted Failon: 24%
Arnold Clavio: 7%
Rey Langit: 5%
Jake Maderazo: 3%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

51 thoughts on “NOTES ON A SONA”

  1. STATE of the NATION address… tagalugin natin, PAGPAPAHAYAG NG KASALUKUYANG KALAGAYAN NG BANSA. Yan pala ang ibig sabihin ni gloria. Ang tirahin ang kalaban nya sa pulitika at magsinungaling sa madla sa lugmok na kalagayan ng ating bansa.. tsk tsk tsk.. nakakadiri, nakakasuka… Pwede ba murahin ang pangulo? pweh… Isa lang ang panalo sa kanya, ang UP SIZE BUCKET OF FRIES GOWN! WAHAHAHAHA… Thanks PH! MORE MORE MORE HECKLING PLEASE!!! hehehe…

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  2. It was Arroyo’s 9th SONA, but it seemed that she still doesn’t have an idea what SONA is all about … why those tirades? Was she ill-advised or it was her choice to “thread that tone”. We’ll never know.

    Now, i tend to believe PH’s claim that Arroyo’s SONA was 50 minutes of applause (take note, on record who applauded – for GMA’s future reference), 7 minutes of critic-lashing (7 minutes lang?), and 33 seconds of accomplishments (talaga? umabot ng 33 seconds?). HAHAHAHHAHAHA

    On a lighter note, ang saya saya, nasa “cast” si LL!

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    1. Agree bestfriend! Pero teka… wetamenet…. ba’t di binanggit na in the five years of schooling ni LL sa senado, his most-hated subject was “Interpolations in English” and his fave was “Recess”? 🙂

      Just caught the snippets of her (GMA) SONA pa-cuteness in the early evening news. Pa-showbiz ang dating nya. I didn’t even bother wasting my time turning on the teevee yesterday afternoon. What for? To give myself an elevated BP on the robotic applause from her minions?

      As what a friend of mine was posting on his FB account while the speech was in progress…. his comment: Advil! I’m having a headache! 🙂

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      1. I happened to catch the SONA tirades on the early evening news, too, and it was enough reason for me to go upstairs where there’s no TV, and made tambay in this site. LOL

        Teka lang bestfriend, wetasecend, baka mabasa ni LL to pahihirapan mo pa syang maghanap sa dictionary ng “interpolation”. Peace, idol LL hihihi

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  3. a spin on your heckle:

    GMA said , “I f you really want something done… don’t pussyfoot… don’t pander.. and most of all don’t say bad words in public.”

    Senator Lito Lapid got so confused of the statement that he approached Senator Bong Revilla and asked him, “Di ba pussyfoot is a bad word din?”

    Revilla answered, “Aba malay ni Kho !”

    🙂

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  4. GMA treated the SONA as her last chance to lash at critics to the (canned) applause of the Tongressmen, instead of treating it as a thank-you-and-goodbye note, which should have been appropriate.

    Whoever wrote that SONA should be working on a novel now. Even Harry Potter’s more factual.

    Wow, extra large bucket of fries. May (fake) chicken breasts pa. Yum yum yum yum yum, delicioso!

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  5. i didn’t know that teddy boy locsin wrote part or some of GMA SONAs. I was kind a lucky to catch the SONA, my 1st. i tried to put every bad things about her (like: i… am… sorry) behind and concentrate when she was talking… but was disappointed for not seeing a President talking?

    PH can i just say bad words in the public, please…!

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  6. really that was a surreal SONA… i mean she’s outgoing but she’s out there claws out, fangs bared. what gives? looks like we will be seeing more of GMA in the future, as president or another capacity…

    logic says if youre leaving office, you step down gracefully, and smooth feathers… but instead she calls out her opponent, making her political enemies angries, stoking tempers…

    that only means, she will still be around. how else would she be able to defend herself when the wolves come knocking after her term ends?

    abangan!

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  7. in fairness, i would like to give GMA credit for doing a good job in controlling our population. you see, people are being disappear, killed/assasinate and most of them are journalist at of course leftist, we have to thanks the military and police for this. of course i am not telling they’re doing it themselves, it’s just they’re not doing anything to stop the killing. and the rest of what she said in her SONA are LIES!

    Kapal talaga ng MUKHA sabihin sya ang pinakamagaling na Presidente, at ang hitad proud pa sa 2 million lang daw ang nagutom ng Pilipino!!!

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  8. hey people, i suggest, for once in your lives, you get a copy of

    the sona and read it, digest it, who knows, baka masabi naman

    ninyo na, may nagawa naman pala si gloria…

    aba hindi kaya madali ang magiging presidente, kung sa ating

    pamilya nga hindi natin ma solve ng ganoon na lang ang simple

    family problem, how much more if you are handling 90 million

    plus people, and the most tragic part is that, maybe about 3/4

    of the populace are opposionists, ready to oppose every twist

    and turn even without even knowing what they are opposing,

    papaano tayo uusad?

    ano ba ang rule ng mga congressmen at senators, basically

    to make laws, i wish i’m correct, pero ano ang kanilang

    ginagawa to help, grandstanding, pa cute sa camera pag may

    debate in aide of legislation….

    and going back to gloria, ah si gloria, ano nga ba nakain ni

    inno sotto at french fries kanyang motif, siguro nag mcdo sya

    while sketching….

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  9. Too bad on your smartbro experience, Heckler. Well, am in 3rd year on it as I have no choice, my subdivision still has no telephone lines due to inadequacy of population for the minimum requirement ng line daw. Awa ng juice, open space na mga 2km lang ang pagitan ng tower nila sa bahay ko. So far, so good. Save for some minor glitches ng no connection na mga minutes lang, it’s been working fine for me.

    Tsambahan lang talaga siguro yan. Dapat dyan sa kanila, gamitan nila ng tamang ratio and proportion ang user to broadcast sites. Tsaka, wag bara bara yung pagkabit ng dish. Nung kinabit kasi ang akin, binantayan ko from bubong to the inside of my house.

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  10. Yung mga puro pintas dito, mag barangay captain nga kayo sa Mindanao ting-nan natin kung mapaasenso ninyo ang buhay nga mga taga-barangay na yan. Parang kayong si Mar Roxas, pintas nang pintas wal;a namang nagawa para sa bayan maliban sa pagapalago ng mga negosyo nila para sila tuloy and pag-yaman

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  11. mr. heckler, with your indulgence, icopy/paste ko lang

    sana dito itong post ko from somewhere, kasi mahabahaba

    din sya , at salamat in advance for bearing…

    gusto ko din sana si chiz, foremost because he is young

    and yes, energetic, pero baka ma influence ang thinking

    ng kanyang ama who was a tuta of marcos…

    ako ayoko maging oposisyunista, we will go nowhere sa

    laging pag ooppose, i mean, for example this election

    the winner is from the opposition, sa kanya na rin ako….

    for this election, sana si teodoro ang bearer ng administration,

    also young and energetic, equally handsome as chiz hahaha,

    lawyer and a harvard graduate at that, wish ko lang my memory

    still serves me right sa puntong ito, and most of all, i think

    he will mean business if elected because he is connected sa,

    ano ba yon, ang kanyang position now is defense secretary?

    am i right or am i left?

    and hindi naman siguro ibig sabihin na dahil he is with the

    administration, he is also like his boss, in the same manner

    na, dahil you are from the opposition, you are clean,

    ganoon lang yon….

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    1. i do not think the federal agent would go around arresting person travelling with the President, i would say persons travelling with her would might received the same immunity like her. i’m sure the US President will not allow them arresting the husband of his very important invited guest.

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      1. sorry but that’s not the reason…FG thru GMA had a concession from the US authorities..so he used a diplomatic passport and as such…US fed agents can’t arrest someone who has diplomatic stature which they themselves granted thru his visa…nakalusot ngayon….sa susunod at wala na sila sa poder…magtago na sya sa saya ng nanany nyah HA HA HA HA

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      1. amateurish work though. 🙂 i easily spotted the super-imposed Obama. mas defined ang resolution nya sa original photograph. care was not applied to include realistic shadows to complement the background.

        sa akin nyo na lang sana pinagawa. libre. pwedeng i-submit as evidence sa korte ang technique ko dyan. haha.

        Like

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