OPENING THE SONA

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gma sona
Top 15 Rejected State of the Nation Address Opening Lines

No. 15: “Let us observe a minute of silence in memory of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.”

No. 14: “To officially open this momentous event, please welcome… the members of the Congressional Spouses Foundation interpreting the Academy Award-winning song Jai-Ho!”

No. 13: “And the ‘Pitoy Moreno Award’ for Best Sona Gown goes to…”

No. 12: “Walaaang tulugan!”

No. 11: “After my speech, you may proceed to the Iglesia Ni Cristo anniversary party for your free dinner.”

No. 10: “Is that you Jovy Palparan? Look at you now. I’m so proud of you!”

No. 9: “This will be very short. Why, do you really expect me to accomplish that much in such a short period of time? Hello!”

No. 8: “First, the good news! Identified na ang nag-leak ng info about my boob job!”

No. 7: (Starts singing) “I dreamed a dream in time gone by/When hope was high and life, worth living/I dreamed that love would never die/I dreamed that God would be forgiving

No. 6: “Kapag sinabi kong I am for peace, I mean all out peace for everyone. Kaya mga kababayan, kasama po natin sa gallery ngayong hapon ang unang batch ng mga nagbalik-loob na Abu Sayyaf terrorists. Pasalubungan po natin sila ng masigabong palakpakan at sabay-sabay nating isigaw: Amnestiya para sa Terorista!”

No. 5: “Thank you so much to our major sponsors this afternoon: Pfizer, GlaxoSmithKline, Johnson & Johnson, Bristol-Myers Squibb, Novartis, and Abbott Laboratories.”

No. 4: “Sama-sama tayo! Hindi ko kayo pababayaan. Lalaban tayo! Teka lang… mali! I am shorry. Dish ish the wrong speech. My goodnesh! The teleprompter! Ayushin ang teleprompter! Pronto!”

No. 3: “Ang hindi papalakpak… hindi ko isasama sa U.S. sa Huwebes!”

No. 2: “I would like to dedicate my last State of the Nation Address to the most caring and hardworking people I’ve ever met – my constituents at the 2nd congressional district of Pampanga! Mañampukaki ing lugud mi kekayu!

And the No. 1 rejected State of the Nation Address opening line…

“Ladies & gentlemen, good afternoon. This will be my last State of the Nation Address…
as of press time.”
__________
“Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between.” ~Alfred E. Neuman

Elsewhere…
Entertainment editor Ricky Lo wrote in his column today:
“The TV newcaster-lovers are now living happily ever after in a posh condo unit they have recently moved into. He is separated from his wife and so is she (from her artist-husband). They are open with their relationship, so it’s safe to say that they, including their “exes,” are into a live-and-let-live kind of set-up. The female newscaster needs some TLC (Tender Loving Care) after the harrowing experience she has gone through. Yes, indeed, love is more comfortable the second time you fall.”
~ I am sure Tito Ricky was referring to Ces Drilon (her ex: painter Rock Drilon). But who’s Ces’ new flame? Okay, okay… here are some clues:
1: Think of a soda brand
2: “Reverse restroom”
3: Re-read my comment on this item. The identity’s “just there.”

Manila Standard Today columnist Victor Agustin wrote about the financial woes of a former member of the Estrada cabinet.

The National Security Adviser, the Chief Justice and a “transition government.” Here’s a juicy item courtesy of Newsbreak Online

espy Kobe and the Lakers as well as Phil Jackson won trophies at the ESPY (Excellence in Sports Performance Yearly) Awards given by sports network ESPN. Manny Pacquiao was also hailed the Best Fighter. See complete list of winners here.

In case you wanted to see Kobe in the flesh, check out the details of his upcoming Asia Tour. The Black Mamba will be here on Tuesday, July 21.

Us Weekly posted a never-before-released video of Michael Jackson’s horrifying Pepsi commercial shoot in 1984. The King of Pop was literally on fire. Watch the video here.

And finally, the 61st Emmy nominations have been announced! See who made the cut in the major categories.

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

26 thoughts on “OPENING THE SONA”

    1. – Mañampukaki ing lugud mi kekayu!

      ‘ mañampukaki is a kapampangan word which means overflowing. it’s very rare that the term is used but more often than not, it is used to exaggerate or drive home one’s point..

      so “Mañampukaki ing lugud mi kekayu” when directly translated means “our love for you is overflowing”. and as someone who hails from the 2nd district of pampanga, it’s overflowing alright.. garapal nga lang..

      Like

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