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JOSE RIZAL IN THE TIME OF FACEBOOK, GLORIA & HANNAH MONTANA

19 06 2009

rizal
José Protasio Rizal Mercado y Alonso Realonda
June 19, 1861 – December 30, 1896

Top 10 (Im)Possible Headlines If Jose Rizal Were Still Alive Today

No. 10
“Living legend” baffles gerontologists, geneticists;
Jose Rizal turns 148 today!

No. 9
Rizal rejects 100million peso offer to endorse Belo Medical Clinic

No. 8
Oldest Filipino to marry former broadcaster;
Jose Rizal sets altar date with Loren Legarda

No. 7
Filipino centenarian topples JK Rowling, Stephenie Meyer
in The New York Times Best Seller list

No. 6
President Arroyo, Jose Rizal to lead Independence Day rites
at the Bonifacio Monument in Luneta

No. 5
Pinoy Methuselah attracts 5 million Twitter followers in just 24 hours;
JoseRizal.Ph tops Google in latest Alexa traffic ranking

No. 4
Hitler scion claims Rizal is his great great grandfather;
seeks financial support from revered Filipino icon

No. 3
Senators, congressmen agree to conduct joint hearing on Rizal’s “immortality;”
Doctors, arbularyos, drug companies, bishops invited as resource persons

No. 2
Ten million-strong Rizalistas commit to bloc voting in 2010;
presidential hopefuls seek endorsement of supreme leader

And the No. 1 (im)possible headline if Jose Rizal were still alive today…

After Noli and Fili:
Rizal writes two new books on oppression, corruption, and revolution
“Glori” and “Mikee” to hit the stands Friday

Elsewhere…
I just discovered (and I may be late. Still, thanks to Newsweek) the newest search engine. Wolfram|Alpha describes itself as “the computational knowledge engine.” How interesting is this search engine? Let’s say, you ask how old was Megan Fox or Kobe Bryant when the 9/11 attacks happened, or what is the date of the next total solar eclipse visible from Paris, or what countries have the highest unemployment rate? Wolfram|Alpha will give you the exact answer(s). Try it. It’s fun. Here’s the link.

Enjoy your weekend!

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32 responses

19 06 2009
chiwee

Blasphemous this post may read to others, it’s one great heckling to me!
I liked the topmost possible scenario: Glori and Mikee.

perfect na perfect!

Like

19 06 2009
Mara

😀

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19 06 2009
mavakes

From Noli and Fili: Rizal writes two new books on oppression, corruption, and revolution
“Glori” and “Mikee” to hit the stands Friday – PANALO ITECH! hahaha

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19 06 2009
Hannah Montana Updates » JOSE RIZAL IN THE TIME OF FACEBOOK, GLORIA & HANNAH MONTANA « The …

[…] Read the rest of this great post here […]

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20 06 2009
isagani gatmaitan

here’s a tribute written to honor our national hero:

!Duerme en paz en las sombras dela nada, (Sleep in peace in the shadow of emptiness, )

redentor de una patria esclavizada! (redeemer of a motherland enslaved!)

!No llores dela tumba en el misterio, (Weep not in the mystery of the tomb, )

del espanol el triunfo momentaneo (the Spanish victory was short-lived)

que si una bala destrozo tu craneo, (that if a bullet shattered your cranium, )

en cambio tu idea destruyo un imperio! (in return your genius demolished an empire!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Al Heroe Nacional Cecilio Apostol 1898 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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20 06 2009
nutheckler

If he is alive today and in an age of his prime, Jose Rizal will be like Erap. He will be incarcerated, minus the corruption issues. His mind and heart, minus the women and the knees, will be for the “masa”. He would have a Lung and Heart Center (not the Cultural Center). He will be incarcerated because his ideas are beyond this generation to comprehend, and are considered threats to those in power. Unlike Erap, he will not be pardoned. And as history repeats itself, be under endless Senate investigations, and be finally shot in Luneta. And Luneta will be renamed “Rizal Park” again by the next generation….

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20 06 2009
benbalazador

minus the women? now i am confused… i idolized rizal for his womanizing skills, history books must be exaggerated…

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20 06 2009
ming

So on the mark, as usual..amusing and too true.

Perhaps, like in AA, the first step is acceptance, knowing that we suck. The Philippines sucks, and then, after acceptance, we’ll do something about it. Don’t get me wrong, I love our country, but the situation today is just so sad, and not enough people care, and too many people in power take advantage.

with great power comes great responsibility, don’t people get that anymore?

meow.

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20 06 2009
nutheckler

When asked the question “If Rizal is alive today, what is he to you?”,
1. Sen. Lapid : Erhh, patay na un. Gawin kong contractor sa ashfall.”
2. Sen. Santiago: “I’ll jump from an airplane if Rizal is”
3. Sen. Roxas: !!!!??Putr..#89@+!!!. Kuhain kong ninong!
4. Sen. Lacson: “Huwag ninyo ako ituro. Wala akong kinalaman sa pagkamatay noon.”
5. Erap: “Rizal? Di ba Rizal Avenue sa may Manila yoon?”

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26 01 2010
xzeth

In fact nung babarili na nga si rizal ayaw nya matamaan mukha nya , ganun kahalaga sknya ang kagwapuhan nya.

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20 06 2009
senior60

i’m sure rizal will not reject the 100 million peso

offer to endorse belo medical group…

why? what’s wrong with that?

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21 06 2009
annie

agree.. what’s wrong with 100 million endorsement money ? it’s legit..it’s not like stolen money..

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13 07 2009
Jenn Besonia

korni kasi. haha. 😛

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20 06 2009
The Lady in Green Ruffles

hehe..very nice..you make me smile this hot saturday..

sana buhay pa din si Ma Macoy (minus Madam Imelda).

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22 06 2009
marlon

huh!… bakit patay na ba si Madam Imelda?

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20 06 2009
dongski

if rizal were still alive today

1. we wouldnt have countless streets named jp rizal, instead, they will be probably bonifacio streets
2. we would lose an extra holiday in the year

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13 07 2009
Jenn Besonia

2… which is not celebrated by most of the filipinos anyway.

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20 06 2009
i'm no angel

Dr. Jose Rizal, thought that saving the Filipinos from the Spaniards was the answer to our country’s problems…
I guess he wasn’t counting on Filipino tyrants to enter the picture.

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20 06 2009
chiwee

Jazz a thought. If Rizal were alive today and “Glori” has the current situation as its setting, whom would he allude to as the major characters in his novel?

Crisostomo Ibarra – isang OFW kaya?
For Padre Damaso – FG the untouchable?
Maria Clara – ?
Kapitan Tiago, her dad –
Pia Alba, her deceased mom – yung alleged mistress ni FG?
Linares –
Elias –
Basilio –
Crispin –
Sisa – Miriam Santiago?

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20 06 2009
john

glori & mikee… BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

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20 06 2009
leo.mercado

if rizal were alive today, he would have studied at La Salle not admu.

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21 06 2009
kenneth

agree. mas malapit kc from calamba la salle-zobel in alabang and la salle dasmarinas, cavite which has a college of medicine.

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21 06 2009
senior60

mr. heckler, pwede bati?

to all the fathers out there…

Happy Father’s Day

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21 06 2009
senior60

Mr. Heckler, pwede bati?

to all the fathers out there…

Happy Father’s Day

Like

22 06 2009
marlon

If Jose Rizal were still alive today he would make it sure that he will be present the next time GMA disclose his political plan after 2010… or promise not to run, again?

Like

22 06 2009
blurosebluguy

hahahahha….i wish he is alive baka isoli nya ang title na national hero…

Like

22 06 2009
marlon

I’m glad Dr. Jose Rizal is not around today, because I don’t want to see him weep on what his motherland turn into.

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22 06 2009
john

very sad Marlon.

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22 06 2009
hippie

woah! one of a kind post. i so like glori and mikee! lolz.
and hey.hey peeps! if Jose Rizal was alive today, he would not study in any of your mention school. dude! he’ll go big time and study at Harvard!
.. wait, i still like gma. in spite and despite. woman empowerment. typical chauvinistic nio. haha. lolz

idol heckler!!
more post to come.

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9 07 2009
May

I never thought Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana has a lot of antis tantamount to her fans. just a random thought eh. Gosh! I missed this site very much. Glad to be back.

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31 05 2011
Rizal in 2010: Social networking demigod, master of languages (including jejenese) | MyRizal150

[…] I searched the internet for insights and opinions. Google led me to Yahoo! Answers forums inrakista.com and the Polytechnic University of the Philippines (PUP) website, and the Professional Heckler’s (one of my fave blog reads) entry Jose Rizal in the Time of Facebook, Gloria & Hannah Montana. […]

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1 08 2012
Waste Removal

I’m extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare to see a great blog like this one these days.

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