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A WEEK AFTER the February 2006 standoff at the Marines headquarters in Fort Bonifacio and the succeeding raid at the Daily Tribune office, I came up with a list of 20+ things I learned from those recent events in Philippine politics. The Philippine Daily Inquirer published the list albeit trimmed to 18, while People’s Journal (lifting the same list from the PDI) printed it as an editorial the next day.
Home alone on a quiet All Souls Day, I opted to create a rather serious post today. Enjoy reading, and let’s continue heckling this week!
Some of the things I’ve learned from recent events in politics and government:
You are poor. You are a suspected thief. You get locked up.
You are rich. You are a suspected thief. You get a check up.
A contingency fund, a cash advance, and an intelligence fund. They are one and the same.
If you’re a police general and you couldn’t attend an Interpol conference abroad, send your wife instead.
Catholic bishops and nuns – the staunchest critics of the proposed bill to curb population explosion do not actually contribute to population growth.
Impeachment is a numbers game. Winners usually take home a seven–figure jackpot.
History tells us that it takes decades to build states and nations. Today, it only takes a MOA to create one.
When an economic adviser calls her president a “bitch,” something is wrong with the adviser. If he doesn’t get fired, something is wrong with the president.
Double budget insertions are perfectly legal. Unless discovered.
The surest way to get appointed in a government post is to lose in a national election.
When an executive clemency is granted shortly before midnight on a Friday, better check on the list of convicts to be released. You might be in for a surprise.
Relatives of murder victims who oppose the granting of an executive clemency to a murder convict must learn how to swim first before they appeal their case to the Justice secretary..
There are only two genuine groups of oppositionists in the country: the Communist Party of the Philippines, and ABS-CBN.
And thanks to the Commission on Human Rights, I have learned that when a suspected NPA or Moro rebel is tortured, that’s human rights violation. When a government soldier is killed by the suspected NPA or Moro rebel, that’s life.
Have a great week ahead!
Elsewhere…
Did Luchi Cruz-Valdez resign from ABS-CBN?
__________
Irony is an insult conveyed in the form of a compliment..
Edwin Percy Whipple
THE PROFESSIONAL HECKLER 
Natawa ako dun sa Two genuine Oppositions!!! Hahaha!
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wow, couldnt agree more
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“I have learned that when a suspected NPA or Moro rebel is tortured, that’s human rights violation. When a government soldier is killed by the suspected NPA or Moro rebel, that’s life”….
yep, always. pag pinugutan ng ulo ang sundalo…tough luck, trabaho mo yan eh
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another wow. how i wish i could get out of this country sooner and live in a country where my taxes works for me well. sigh 😦
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As usual! Bulls eye! You never fail to amaze me with your insight and although you said this is a serious post, it still elicited chuckles from me.
At the end of the post though, I was kind of sad that all these things are true.
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I feel smarter now having read today’s post.
About the nuns and priests- I don’t get why they should have a say in everything especially about population control. We should only listen to experts when it comes to these issues and the clergy are definitely NO experts at this topic. Matulog na lang sila at magdasal.
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wow! i feel so smart now! 🙂 lol
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was watching 24-oras a while ago, and it was just sad to hear these three stories in succession.
>> PCGG’s Dept Sec. Sabio back in the office no suspension whatsoever
>> Joc Joc Bolante still in the hospital and his case caught up in f*cking redtape
>> Euro Generals with stupidest excuses still not being charged for anything!
and the headlines would only care more for Criselda Volk’s sex scandal?!?
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I learn a lot from this post. You hit the bull’s eye.
Sana mabasa ‘to ni Bolante, ng Euro Generals, ng NPA, ng ABS-CBN, ng mga talunan sa election, etc. Sana mabasa ‘to ng lahat, para naman may matutunan din sila.
Halleluya!
Mabuhay ka Professional Heckler! (at ‘wag kang magsawa)
hehe
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“Catholic bishops and nuns . . . do not actually contribute to population growth.”
actually di mo rin masisiguro yun … hehehe. Great post, hecker, don’t mind if I link to this list sometime soon, do you?
Thanks.
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pinoy politics is pretty wisdom-ous! (is there such a word? hehe)
loi fan k rin pala ni robert fulghum 🙂
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Andaming presong may TB at iba pang nakakamatay na sakit sa loob ng bilangguan pero bakit itong si Bolante may lagnat lang di pa ma-i-detain sa senate. tang-ina.
PERA-PERA LANG DITO SA PINAS!
PAG MAY PERA KA, YOUR ABOVE THE LAW!
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I have Learned that if The Oil Prices goes up,The Oil Companies in the Philippines will use their “Weekly Crude price Formula” ,If the Prices Goes down,They will be using The “Monthly” ones….
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Mali ang himas ni Bigjoc. Dapat pala tiyan ang kanyang hinimas.
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Great post! I’m going to repost this, with credit to you of course.
Yes, balita ko nag-resign na si Luchi.
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Sana maging leksyon at hindi kutya ang isinulat mo. Base sa mga nagbigay ng puna marami ang natuwa, ang iba naisipang iwanan ang Pilipinas.
Naaawa lang ako sa bayan ko. Isang bagay na yung mga palpak na namumuno, mga masasamang ugali. Dapat ituwid ang mga ito. Pero sa kabuuan mali yata na tawanan ng kahit sino ang mga pilipino, ang Pilipinas.
Hindi namatay si Jose Rizal at Ninoy Aquino para lang kawawain ng mga pulitiko, artista, sundalo at kung sino pa man. At hindi rin sila namatay para iwanan natin ang bayan natin.
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you, dear sir, never fail to amaze me… always make me laugh. keep posting.
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the blogs manifests how dirty politics is…
visit my site for more great articles about politics, life and love… there are also funny entries… please don’t forget to leave a comment… hehehe
http://johnsilvosa.wordpress.com/
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