TEAM UNITY RETURNS

null Cabinet Revamp

The reported impending appointment of defeated senatorial candidate Prospero Pichay to the Bureau of Customs has received a lot of flak. Critics say the president must appoint someone who really knows smuggling and the operation of smugglers. Malacañang agrees. The problem is – can the president appoint her husband?

null Cabinet Revamp II

Last year, defeated Manila mayoral candidate Lito Atienza was appointed environment secretary. Recent reports say defeated senatorial candidate Mike Defensor will be the next press secretary, defeated senatorial candidate Prospero Pichay the next chief of the Bureau of Customs, and defeated senatorial candidate Tito Sotto the next chair of the Dangerous Drugs Board. Yet another defeated senatorial candidate Tessie Aquino-Oreta is reportedly being eyed as the next DepEd secretary. If this trend continues, President Arroyo will soon lead a cabinet of losers.

Cabinet Revamp III

Unconfirmed reports say Press Secretary Ignacio Bunye will be replaced by defeated senatorial candidate Michael Defensor. But Bunye has nothing to worry about. According to the grapevine, he’s being groomed to replace Edu Manzano as Optical Media Board chairman – primarily due to his ability to identify fake from original tapes.

Wage Hike and the CBCP

The Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines has joined labor groups in demanding a wage hike for Filipino workers. The Catholic Church’ call was fueled by the alleged shortfall in collected donations from parishioners recently.

Injured, Again

For the umpteenth time, the military reported that Abu Sayyaf leader Isnilon Hapilon has been wounded following a gunbattle. If I were to believe AFP’s claim, I’d really pity this Hapilon guy. He must be a walking scar by now. (Pang-ilan na bang “wounded” report ‘yan? I’ve lost count.)

null Botched Surgery

Doctors Manny and Pie Calayan are facing a P26-million lawsuit filed by a Filipino-American who accused the couple of botching a penis enlargement procedure. Patient Louem Martinez a.k.a. Louem Boschuk claimed his penis sagged and was badly deformed after the operation. He is now seeking 20 million pesos in actual damages, 3 million pesos in moral damages, and another 3 million pesos in exemplary damages… officially making his manhood the ugliest but most expensive Filipino cock ever.

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

14 thoughts on “TEAM UNITY RETURNS”

  1. I think its better to retain Sec. Jeslie Lapus in DepEd. I hate the idea of having former Senator Tessie Aquino Oreta in Department of Education. Oreta may have the competence but with all she did in the Senate before, she better stay away from public eye. Past will always be remembered.

    Defeated team unity candidates will be strategically place “on fields” to give them better position in 2010. This is just my personal suspicion and personal opinion of Sen. Meriam Santiago.

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  2. Hello…. There is no need for the First Ungentle to be Customs head, that would be nepotism. Perhaps the First Mistress is better suited after all, it is said she is part owner of 168 – you know, the place in Divisoria where everything is so cheap, because they do not pay customs nor do they issue receipts for the Inputah Vat.

    Hmmm… the team unity being appointed since they were not elected, so they could earn back their campaign expenses? Oh dear, they are not losers, but most likely and assuredly to be leaches. They lose, so how would they retrieve the money they shelled out? Sad to say, its the taxpayers who end up as losers – they lose because most know they would cheat the government and yet the effort seems wasted for they would be back in the government after all.

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  3. For the record, former Manila Mayor Lito Atienza completed 3 consecutive terms (1998 to 2007) so he was inelligible to run again for the same post. Abangan ang duelo in 2010 between the comebacking ex-Mayor and Dirty Harry. As of now, lamang si Fred Lim who lost to Atienza in 2001sa pustahan. Doblado pa nga pero walang kumakasa sa mga backers ni “Floral Boy.”

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  4. I don’t think it will be easy for the defeated candidates of Team Unity to just come into the Cabinet. Their qualifications will be looked into and considered. That is how appointments are done anyway. It’s not right to accuse the President of paying back those who agreed under the administration ticket. It’s more of a personal choice based on qualifications, skills, competence and trust.

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  5. 1) If it’s really malpractice, the Calayans should be fined and jailed.
    2) The P25.5M should be spent to replace the brain of the penis guy and have him undergo sexual and emotional counselling from Margie Holmes
    3) The “girlfriend” or “girlfriends” should be given a lifetime supply of industrial-quality vibrators.
    JUSTICE IS DONE.

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  6. The Calayan’s are morons. They aren’t qualified to perform surgery. What’s “Med School” in the Philippines anyways? That’s why when the “doctors” in the Philippines decide to come the USA, the end up as ass-wipers and nurses because they are not qualified under US medical practices. The Calayan’s should just run away to the USA and wipe ass’s as a living. For you all to attack Mr. Martinez/Mr. Boschuk is absurd. How many millions of women go under the knife for breast enlargements, nose jobs, face lifts, botox, and etc. every year? Millions of men also go for lipo-suction, botox, face lifts, etc. because they are unsatisfied with their current state. Mr. Martinez/Mr. Boschuk attempted to do the same thing and unfortunately, he is being ridiculed by ignorant cuntheads like you all.

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  7. The Calayans are both skilled,licensed and doctor to the stars in the Philippines.Im sure this Mr Martinez is just trying to destroy their well-respected name in the industry!!He’s an extortionist and i know this case has been dismissed already for lack of merits!! Nobody can put good men down,mr martinez,go and rot in hell!!

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