BEFORE YOU COULD even accuse me of insouciance, let me tell you that I belong to a family with a history of cancer. Two aunts died of throat cancer, an uncle succumbed to liver cancer, another uncle of bone cancer, a first cousin of breast cancer, and two years ago, my father lost his battle against three forms of the disease: lymphoma, left lung carcinoma and brain cancer. Ergo, the statistical probability of me dying from cancer is pretty high, even higher than… say, Kris Aquino winning an acting award in the next 10 years. That being said, let’s talk about the day’s biggest news: Frank Drilon’s tears! Just kidding.
The icon of democracy, former president Corazon Aquino has colon cancer. Her children said that weight loss was one of the more noticeable symptoms of the disease. Fortunately, it wasn’t liver cancer; otherwise, they would have a hard time noticing the symptom – paninilaw.
Cory’s Cancer II
Sen. Noynoy Aquino and sister Kris announced that their mom, former president Cory Aquino has colon cancer. Viewers find it ironic though that while it’s Cory who’s cancer-stricken, Noynoy’s the one who’s losing hair.
Cory’s Cancer III
Upon learning that his friend Cory has colon cancer, Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim shed tears in front of a tv camera. Actually, Mayor Lim really wanted to cry on tv after his son’s arrest for drug dealing. But he just couldn’t. Yesterday, he took advantage of the opportunity to let it all out.
Cory’s Cancer IV
Holding back her tears, Cory’s controversial daughter Kris told Korina Sanchez, “Kung puwede nga lang sana, ako na lang ang magkasakit, ‘wag na siya.” (Oo nga Kris, kung puwede lang sana.)
Seven week-pregnant Kris Aquino suffered a miscarriage today, March 25. O ‘yan Kris… wish granted!
IN OTHER NEWS…
SC Favors Neri
Voting 9 to 6, the Supreme Court granted CHEd Chairman Romulo Neri’s petition seeking to prevent the Senate from forcing him to answer questions on the anomalous NBN ZTE deal covered by executive privilege. Neri’s secrets will be safe for now.
Cong. Edno Joson wants Congress to ban boxing since many young boys are lured to it because of the thought that entering the ring is the easiest way to get rich. Following the same argument, then we might as well ban Congress.
Noli Is No. 1
What’s News: Vice President Noli de Castro topped the latest survey on presidentiables conducted by Pulse Asia.
Good News: Buti na lang, hindi ngayon ang eleksyon!