JUNKED!

null EO 464 Scrapped

President Arroyo has officially scrapped EO 464 which barred government officials from testifying in congressional inquiries. Following her revocation of the directive though, President Arroyo ordered officials of the executive branch to attend scriptwriting workshops a day before each congressional hearing.

EO 464 Scrapped II

President Arroyo has decided to scrap EO 464 which barred government officials from testifying in congressional inquiries… reportedly sending chills down the spine of CHEd Chairman Romulo Neri who couldn’t imagine himself “coming out” in front of senators live on ANC!

null The Deal on Spratlys

Reports say President Arroyo entered into an agreement with China in 2004 allowing it to explore the disputed Spratly Islands in exchange for an $8-billion loan package. Teka lang, is there a way to check if we still are Filipinos?! Baka pati Pilipinas nabenta na, hindi lang natin alam.

JDV on Spratly Deal

Former House Speaker Jose De Venecia denied that the Spratly deal is tied to loans from China. Hanggang ngayon ba naman, in denial pa rin si JDV na nuknukan rin sha ng katiwalian?

Erap on Succession

Pardoned plunderer and former president Joseph Estrada said that “I have the constitutional right to replace President Arroyo because I was unconstitutionally removed.” Constitutionally… just shut up!

Erap on Noli

Pardoned plunderer Joseph Estrada said he is not comfortable with Vice President Noli de Castro replacing President Arroyo. Actually, kami rin – sa inyong dalawa.

null JLo’s Sanctuary Fund

The good news is that the sanctuary fund for Jun Lozada has reached 2 million pesos. The bad news: that’s not enough to launch a senatorial campaign in 2010.

JLo’s School Tour

Handlers of Jun Lozada have arranged for him a nationwide high school graduation tour where he is expected to deliver speeches. That, in fact, is a wise move considering that members of this year’s graduating class would be 18 or older by 2010 and would definitely be eligible to vote.

Tabloid Headlines: ZTE NBN and Other News

Good News: Bagong testigo sa NBN ZTE deal lulutang
Bad News: Bagong testigo, sobrang ingat dahil ayaw niyang lumutang… sa Pasig River

Good News: Senado, may bagong “surprise witness”
Bad News: Surprise witness, lalabas sa isang giant cake (may clowns pang kasama)

Good News: Bagong “surprise witness” ng Senado, hawak ni Senador Lacson
Bad News: Hawak ni Lacson? Anong surprising do’n?

Good News: Senador Lacson may bagong “surprise star witness”
Bad News: Jun Lozada, kinakabahan; takot matalbugan

Good News: Senators to unveil new star witness
Bad News: Pero belo ni Neri, ‘di nila ma-unveil

Quote of the Week

TV host/manager Lolit Solis’ reply to another scribe when the latter asked: “Sa palagay ‘po n’yo bakit maraming babae ang nagkakagusto kay Senator Bong (Revilla)?”:

“Eh kasi nga dakila si Bong noh! Malaki ang nota n’yan kaya maraming babae ang na-e-elya elya sa kanya. Kahit maglaway pa kayo sa nota ni Bong, si Lani pa rin ang legal wife noh!”

Enjoy your weekend!

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

4 thoughts on “JUNKED!”

  1. on JLo’s School Tour: sakto talaga. makakaboto na nga naman cla by next year. haha! Galing mo talaga Heckler! Who could’ve thought that JLo can be used for Jun Lozada other than Jennifer Lopez? Well I have coined words for your blog: adorkable, fantabulous and hellarious!

    Like

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