RESIGNED

 Abalos Resigns

Embattled Comelec Chairman Benjamin Abalos has resigned. He backed off.

Despite his resignation, Comelec Chairman Benjamin Abalos would still file a 10 million-peso libel case against Joey De Venecia (not 20 million pesos as earlier planned). The value of his reputation has diminished by 10 million in a span of six days.

Abalos says he has not given up the fight – not until Joey De Venecia has lost all his hair.

Abalos said, “my resignation should dispel the claims of my detractors that I am dangling so-called “political debts.”  Sa laki ng kickback niya, bayad na lahat ‘yon!

Abalos added, “my resignation negates the accusation that this Administration is out to protect me and my incumbency.”  Whoever made that accusation is stupid and may have not heard the term “laglagan.”

Former President Corazon Aquino visited Comelec Chairman Benjamin Abalos after he resigned. As expected, Cory claimed she has been praying for Abalos. No wonder, lalong nagka-leche leche ang buhay nito.

Businessman Joey De Venecia admitted that he was surprised by the resignation of Comelec Chairman Benjamin Abalos. Asked how he felt when he heard the news, De Venecia replied, “I felt so high.”

Fellow officials at the Commission on Elections were also surprised by Abalos’ resignation. They were just talking about his plan to distribute balato last Friday.

The House of Representatives has dropped the impeachment case against resigned Comelec chief Benjamin Abalos. Rolex Suplico’s 15 minutes of fame is over.

 GMA Undergoes Check Up

Still a bit dizzy from her New York flight, President Arroyo immediately checked in at the Asian Hospital in Muntinlupa City. Malacañang insists she’s in top shape. She just asked for a bottle of her favorite medicine against nausea… A-ZTE de Manzanilla.

Snooky’s New Revelation

Actress Snooky Serna revealed that she was raped by her leading man when she was 14. However, she refused to identify her rapist. Rumors say the Senate and the House of Representatives will conduct separate investigations to “know the truth.”

Snooky’s New Revelation II

Actress Snooky Serna revealed that she was raped by her leading man when she was 14. Snooky admitted that the perpetrator, whom she refused identify, succeeded because at the time she was “naïve and tatanga-tanga.” Nothing much has changed Snooky, nothing much.

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

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