THE LATEST PULSE

Latest Survey

According to the latest Pulse Asia survey, it’ll be 6 for GO, 4 for TU and 2 Independent candidates if senatorial elections would be held today. Malacañang has still more than a week to prepare – for a defeat!

Gringo

Former senator Gregorio “Gringo” Honasan surged to between 5th and 12th places in the latest Pulse Asia survey giving him a higher chance of winning. Meaning it’s not 6-4-2 but 6-5-1. Malacañang would be pleased.

Refused

Pulse Asia said that at the time of the latest survey, 8.8 percent of the respondents refused to name their senatorial candidates. Those respondents were too ashamed to reveal that their choices actually included Chavit Singson, Victor Wood, and Oliver Lozano.

Thirteenth

Mrs. Sonia Roco who used to be in the winning circle of 12 dropped to 13th place. That makes her the “first loser.”

Buboy vs. Goma

Cesar Montano edged out Richard Gomez in the latest Pulse Asia survey. If it was any consolation for Gomez, both of them would still be losers.

The Left and Erap

Reports say the left-wing party-list group Bayan Muna sought P40 million in funding from former President Joseph Estrada. This was really impossible since there has never been a shortfall in the NPA’s collection of revolutionary taxes, ever.

Soldiers in Nueva Ecija

The military has sent an entire brigade of at least 1,000 “maneuver troopers” throughout Nueva Ecija, which has been placed under the control of the Commission on Elections. If military adventurists are looking for an opportunity to overthrow the government, now is the best time to do it.

Disbarment

A lawyer has filed a disbarment case against Justice Sec. Raul Gonzales. It would have been a welcome news until the name of the lawyer who filed the case was revealed: Ely “Spikeman” Pamatong.

Disbarment II

Justice Secretary Raul Gonzales faces a disbarment case for offering 10,000 pesos to each barangay captain in Iloilo City who could deliver a sweep for Team Unity in the upcoming polls. Malacañang has since distanced itself from the embattled Gonzales. Malacañang finds his offer – cheap.

Powerful Kites

Reports say a kite could have caused the crash of a Huey chopper in Cebu. Iraqi insurgents who caught the news via TFC are now mass producing kites in areas where American air force soldiers are stationed.

Religous Piolo

Actor Piolo Pascual will formally train to become a pastor saying he wants to give more time to the Lord. In the past couple of years, he’s been very devoted to Sam Milby. This time, kay Lord naman.

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Author: professionalheckler

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