PACMAN’S AGENDA

Sure

A Social Weather Stations survey showed that 9 out of 10 Filipinos will “surely vote” in the coming elections. The lone respondent who said “no” has yet to find a candidate agreeable to his “asking price.”

Manicure

A week after his heart surgery, First Gentleman Mike Arroyo – as revealed by his sister, so wanted to have a manicure. An alarmed GMA reportedly called up his doctors and asked what have they done to his heart.

Pacquiao & Politics

Fresh from his victory over Mexican Jorge Solis, Manny Pacquiao declared that he would not quit boxing even if he would become a lawmaker. That’s a “law blow.”

Top 5 Possible Legislative Agenda of Manny Pacquiao If Elected to Congress

5: The Beauty & Brains Bill: Free English tutorials for all boxers competing internationally and free total makeover for them after every fight

4: Sponsor a bill that seeks to strengthen diplomatic ties between the Philippines and Mexico by staging an annual slugfest: Filipinos vs. Mehikanos! Bakbakan na!

3: Promote culture and the arts by legalizing sabong and tupada, and making available one Extreme Magic Sing in every home nationwide.

2: A bill that seeks to automatically declare the day of his succeeding fights a special non-working day. If it falls on a Sunday, the following Monday will be a holiday – with pay.

1: The creation of a boxing academy for women with his mom, Mrs. Dionesia Pacquiao as the school’s first dean.

Party-list Polls

Rumors say that the New People’s Army is seeking congressional representation via the party list polls in 2010. They will use the name Bayad Muna.

Shocked at Shootings

US President George Bush was surprised to learn that a Korean student killed 32 people at a university in Virginia. Bush didn’t expect that there’s another Korean deadlier than Kim Jong Il.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

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