Exclusive: UPCAT ESSAY QUESTIONS LEAKED

Tatlong hayop na ang nag-interrupt sa speech ni Duterte: ipis, langaw, at tuko. Batay sa physical appearance niya ngayon, anong hayop ang sunod na lalapit sa kanya?

Here are the leaked UPCAT essay questions. Good luck examinees!

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i’m on twitter and IG: @hecklerforever8

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THE FLY AND THE PRESIDENT

Duterte tried to swat the fly away and even threatened to slap it with a piece of paper.

“Kagaya nitong langaw na ito. Kanina pa ‘yan sunod nang sunod sa akin. Naligo naman ako, mga buang.” ~President Duterte, 7.30.2019

LIST OF CHINESE SEA CREATURES

Beijing has declared these sea creatures as “Chinese.”

“It’s very difficult to say that there is exclusivity when it’s under water. The fish could be coming from China and the fish from the Philippines could be going to China.”

~Senate President Tito Sotto on whether the resources in the Philippine exclusive economic zone are exclusive to Filipinos

IN RESPONSE, Beijing has released its “official” list of “Chinese” sea creatures.

Here’s the full list:

1. Bisu Go

2. Ma Ya Ma Ya

3. Kandu Li

4. Alu Ma Han

5. Tu Na

6. Ta Hong

7. Ali Ma Ngo

8. Pa Ting

9. Tu Li Ngan

10. Bi Ya

11. Hi To

12. Sug Po

13. Tul Ya

14. Ayu Ngin

15. Ki Tang

16. Bu Tan Ding

17. Du Gong

18. Ga Lung Gong

China has also declared the following as Chinese: Ba Go Ong, Da ing, and Tu Yo.

For the information of Filipinos.

DUTERTE ON WEST PHILIPPINE SEA INCIDENT: “GAGANTI TAYO!” (EXCLUSIVE)

“Matapos banggain ng barko ng China, inabandona pa. Putang ina! Totally unacceptable.”

A CHINESE vessel reportedly rammed and sank a Philippine fishing boat anchored near Recto Bank in the West Philippine Sea on Sunday, June 9.

The military said the Chinese ship left 22 Filipino fishermen “to the mercy of the elements” until a Vietnamese vessel rescued them.

On Friday, President Duterte finally spoke about the issue. Here’s what he said:

“Si Secretary Lorenzana ang nagbalita sa akin tungkol sa nangyari sa South China Sea noong Miyerkules, June 12.

Nagalit ako. Grabe ang galit ko. Kasi nga ang aga-agang tumawag n’yang si Lorenzana para magsumbong eh tulog pa ako no’n! Holiday ‘yon, walang pasok, ‘tapos alas-nuwebe pa lang ng umaga tumatawag na. Pisting yawa.

Secondly, malaking barko pala ng China ang bumangga at sumira sa bangka ng Filipino fishermen. ‘Tapos inabandona pa. Putang ina! Totally unacceptable. Hinding-hindi ko matatanggap na doon pa rin nangingisda ang mga kababayan natin kahit alam nilang may nagpapatrol na barko ng China! Mga bobo!

And lastly, ipinapangako ko: gaganti tayo! Gaganti tayo sa kabutihan ng mga Vietnamese. ‘Pag bangka nila ang pinalubog ng barko ng China, tayo naman ang tutulong sa kanila!

If you have other questions, tanungin n’yo si Lorenzana o si Panelo. That’s all. Thank you.”

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“What is obvious is that Goliath, the neighborhood bully, will continue to rear its ugly head to intimidate our poor fishermen. We need to find a way to hold China’s leadership accountable.”
~ Former Foreign Affairs Secretary Albert Del Rosario

I am on Twitter and IG: @HecklerForever8

RESPECT, GMRC, THE LATE DUTERTE AND OTHER STORIES

Lani Mercado preaches respect and GMRC on Twitter. President Duterte arrives two hours late at the PMA graduation. Jimmy Bondoc vs. ABS-CBN, and more!


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“Respect commands itself and it can neither be given nor withheld when it is due.”
~Eldridge Cleaver

I am on Twitter and Instagram.

BUDOTS NATION (Stories from an election)

Duterte has won the midterm elections. It was an almost sweep for the administration-backed Hugpong ng Pagbabago candidates for senator.


BASED ON the latest partial and unofficial count, almost all of Duterte’s Hugpong ng Pagbabago candidates for senator emerged as winners in the midterm polls. Victory parties have been scheduled in Malacañang, Davao City, and Beijing.

According to the latest tally, re-electionist senator Cynthia Villar has grabbed the top spot. Among other things.

Bong Revilla, who is still facing 16 counts of graft, is currently in 10th place with more than 14 million votes. Confident of a victory, Revilla has sent ‘Thank you’ notes to his supporters, volunteers, and choreographer.

The Budots-dancing actor, who was once charged with plunder, received most of his votes from Pangasinan, Cavite, Cebu, Bulacan and Laguna. At least we now know where to channel our funds for education and mental health.

Bong Revilla’s best friend, and fellow plunder inmate, Jinggoy Estrada has yet to enter the Top 12. Looks like Jinggoy won’t be able to serve a fresh Senate term. Which is ok, because, soon, he’ll probably be serving a longer prison term.

Actor Lito Lapid, who has a pending graft case in connection with the fertilizer fund scam, is also in the Top 12. In preparation for his return to the Senate, Lapid has purchased a brand-new neck pillow.

Also in the winning circle is Duterte aide, Bong Go who is getting ready for his new job as Senate’s chief photographer.

Currently in fifth place is former police chief Bato de la Rosa who is now doing some research to prepare for his new post. For example, he has been asking incumbent senators if, during Senate hearings, committee members are allowed to cry.

If the trend won’t change, we will soon have Lito Lapid, Bong Go, Bong Revilla, Bato de la Rosa and of course, Manny Pacquiao in the Senate. Which begs the question, out of 105 million Filipinos, sila pa talaga?!

Former GMA 7 News reporter Jiggy Manicad has conceded defeat. In a statement, Jiggy said, “Ngayon, ang will ng Panginoon ay hindi pa muna. Siguro, may iba pa siyang assignment.” To which, God replied, “Yes, PTV 4. Thx.”

Juan Ponce Enrile, 95, also failed in his bid for a Senate seat. Congratulations, taxpayers!

As of 9pm, Tuesday. JV Ejercito is still in 13th place while his estranged brother Jinggoy, is in 15th place. When he learned about Jinggoy’s ranking, JV said, “I still feel like a winner.”

On election day, a sample ballot distributed by Sara Duterte’s Hugpong ng Pagbabago party showed (that) Koko Pimentel was dropped from Hugpong’s list of 12 senatorial candidates. In the latest tally, Koko has dropped to 11th place with a very slim lead over current 12th placer, Nancy Binay. Allies have started sending congratulatory messages to Inday Sara.

It’s Zero-Diretso for the decent, intelligent, and hardworking candidates of Otso Diretso in the senatorial race. If ever they’ll run again in future elections, they should learn more about the electorate, campaign strategies, and the ‘Budots’ dance steps.

Local Elections
Reelectionist Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada lost to Isko Moreno. Estrada is now looking for a new city where he can relocate before the 2022 elections.

During the campaign, Estrada said this would be his last election. Manila voters responded, “We’ll make sure of that.”

The Ejercitos/Estradas were clobbered in the midterm elections. They lost the city of San Juan to the Zamoras. Erap’s daughter, Jerika failed in her bid for councilor in Manila. Gary Estrada has conceded the vice mayoral post in Cainta. And ER Ejercito lost badly in the gubernatorial race in Laguna. At this moment, ER is still trying to figure out a way to blame his loss on Noynoy Aquino.

In yet another shocker, former vice president Jejomar Binay lost to former acting Mayor Kid Peña in the congressional race in Makati City’s first district. Reelected Mayor Abby Binay-Campos and estranged brother, Junjun have reportedly agreed to attend the wake of their dad’s political career – together.

Neophyte politician, Vico Sotto has ended the decades-old reign of the Eusebio clan in Pasig City. The 29-year-old Vico, son of Vic Sotto and Coney Reyes, won the mayoral contest against reelectionist Bobby Eusebio. The things we like most about Vico? He is young, transparent, and thinks differently than his uncle, Tito.
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“Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength. No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.”
~Dalai Lama XIV

Personal
To Otso Diretso and Team Pilipinas, thank you for your dedication and courage in fighting a decent fight. You’ve just started. Please stay with us.

For daily musings on society and politics, you may follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @hecklerforever8.

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Photo: TVC Screengrab

DARNA AT PULITIKA

Ano ang mangyayari kapag gumanap na ‘Darna’ sina President Duterte, Kris Aquino, Ben Tulfo, Imee Marcos at iba pang personalidad?

WHAT HAPPENS when political figures and other controversial personalities play the role of Pinoy superhero, Darna? Let’s find out.

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“When a stupid government is elected in a democratic country, the best thing about this is that you learn the number of stupid people in that country.”

~Mehmet Murat ildan

•Twitter/Instagram: @hecklerforever8